Author: coffeeplease
Rating: PG
Category: Future fic
Spoiler Info: Everything up to Drought Conditions is
game, but it’s pretty spoiler free
Disclaimer: John Wells, Aaron Sorkin, WB and NBC...
they own everything. Everything. All I have is my
computer and my coffee mug. Please don’t make me sell
them to pay legal bills.
E-mail address for feedback: jamhandy1@...
Archiving permission: Sure, just tell me first
Notes: 2nd of the Noah fics. Josh, Noah, apple juice
and a not very well liked West Wing character.
Feedback makes my heart soar.
“Joshua Lyman!”
This is the problem with strollers, Josh thought to
himself. They limit your speed. If he had been walking
his usual pace, he’d be in Virginia by now. He
supposed he could speed up a bit. But, although Noah
loved to play “race car” with the stroller, Donna
generally frowned on such activities.
Without a stroller, there was no doubt that Josh could
be miles away from the little shrimp by now.
Will Bailey walked up to the side of the stroller.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
Will pointed down at the little guy in the stroller,
who was chewing on his stuffed donkey. “Is that Noah?”
No, you nitwit, Josh thought. I just push around
strange children in a stroller all day. It’s a hobby
of mine, right up there with stamp collecting. Out
loud, Josh simply said “yeah.”
Will crouched down to take a better look at the child,
who looked back at Will, dropping his stuffed animal
on the ground. Josh quickly picked it up and put it in
his bag. No way would he let Noah gum up something
that had been on the dirty sidewalk.
“He’s gotten so big,” Will said, standing back up.
The sarcastic comments just kept coming inside Josh’s
mind. That’s what kids do, you freak. They grow. The
words were actually on his lips, when he realized that
Will was speaking again and the sooner he replied, the
sooner the conversation was over.
“So, how’s Donna?”
See, that right there is the problem with Will Bailey,
Josh thought. He doesn’t know what not to ask, he
doesn’t recognize sore spots. Josh didn’t like it when
any man asked about Donna. Even Toby asking made him a
bit.... apprehensive. He had thought that the jealous,
possessive nature of his feelings for Donna would
lessen once he became her boyfriend, then her husband,
then father of her children. They hadn’t.
Of course, he never let her know that.
And Will Bailey asking, for the love of all that was
holy....
“She’s fine. She’s going to go get her masters in the
fall.”
Where professors would be looking at her all day. Josh
wondered if it was possible to surgically attach
Donna’s wedding ring to her finger.
“That’s great. What’s she going to study? Political
Science?”
No, Marine Biology, dumb ass. Josh hoped he hadn’t
said that out loud.
“Yeah, political science.”
“Does she even need to get her degree?” Will shoved
his hands in his pockets. “She already knows more then
most of the professors.”
Noah interrupted the two men with a small wail. “Apple
juice, daddy!”
Josh reached into the compartment in the back of the
stroller and brought out a little juice box. He
quickly unwrapped the little straw and, in poking it
through the little hole, managed to get sticky juice
all over his hand. He gave his son the apple juice,
telling him “It’s warm, Noah” and wiped his hand on
his slacks. It was still sticky.
“Look, Josh, we didn’t get a chance to speak... you
know, before...”
“Before what?”
“Before you and Donna got married.”
The wheels in Josh’s head turned. They rolled him back
to a more stressful time, campaigning around the
country with Matt Santos, different hotel rooms but
the same scratchy sheets. He remembered a conversation
between Will and himself that was less then friendly
and had nothing to do with the campaign and everything
to do with the woman who was now sharing the scratchy
sheets with Josh.
“You didn’t come to our wedding,” Josh replied,
returning to the present. He kept trying to get the
sticky off his hand.
“I know.”
“We invited you.”
“I know. I sent a gift.”
Ironically enough for the moment, it had been a
juicer. They never used it. Who had the time in their
household to make juice?
“Why didn’t you come to our wedding?” Everyone had
been there. Josh Lyman getting married was an idea so
novel it seemed most of Washington turned up to see if
he would actually do it. Josh himself felt quite the
opposite of cold feet. He had wanted to marry Donna
the night he first kissed her. Probably before that.
He literally had sprinted into the church and could
hardly wait the hour it took for the ceremony to
begin. He remembered looking out on all the faces.
The Barlets, Liz glaring at him. Leo, of course,
playing the role of Josh’s father. Toby, Andi, C.J.,
Charlie, Debbie, Kate Harper, Annabeth, Sam, Margeret,
Carol, Ginger, Ed, Larry, Joey Lucas and Kenny. Nancy
McNally. Matt Santos. Arnold Vinick. John Hoynes. Bob
Russell.
But no Will Bailey.
“I wasn’t.... sure it was appropriate.”
“Will, if Matt Santos, John Hoynes and Bob Russell
could all drink champagne together and buy us matching
towel sets...”
“All three bought you matching towel sets?”
“Well, no, actually only Bob Russell.”
Josh could be carrying on a conversation with the
president or the Pope, it didn’t matter, if Noah was
in the room, one eye would be trained on him. And Will
Bailey was hardly either one. Josh could see Noah as
he sat in the stroller and finished his juice box. He
leaned down to take it from him.
“Want donkey.”
“Donkey fell the ground. I have to wash him before I
give him back to you.”
“Why?”
The eternal question of the two-year-old. “Because
he’s dirty now and he has to be all clean for Noah to
play with him.”
“I play with donkey anyway,” Noah pouted and focused
his brown eyes on his father.
“No, Noah.” The boy’s forehead scrunched. The wails
would be next. Then the tears. Noah had a nine-point
plan for temper tantrums and Josh knew each point by
heart. “Why don’t you play with bear?”
Josh gently put the bear in the boy’s hands and stood
up again. Will was watching the scene, looking very
uncomfortable and a little ashamed, almost. Josh threw
away the empty juice box and waited for the screams.
Happily, Noah seemed content with bear.
“I don’t know if I could ever do that,” Will said
quietly.
“What?”
“I don’t know... be a father. I don’t think I have it
me.”
Josh smiled slightly. “It’s not something... I don’t
know, you think Toby or I or Leo or Jed Bartlet had
some quality or realization that made us good fathers?
I think it’s something you just do as you go along.”
“You’re all decent men. That’s a good quality.”
“You’re a decent man,” Josh said. You annoy the hell
out of me, he thought, but you’re decent.
“Still... the thought of nap times and bottles and
diapers... I like the adult world.”
“Well,” Josh cleared his throat slightly. “You don’t
have to give up the adult world. Even if you stay at
home with the kid, you never give up being an adult
just because you’re around someone who isn’t.”
In fact, Josh had never felt more adult then after
Noah was born. It was responsibility so heady and yet
so easy in some ways. It had payoffs he didn’t
understand before. There was a peace that came to him
that he had never even thought to look for before. And
the unconditional love... that knocked Josh for a
loop. There was someone who didn’t love him because of
his job title or his power or looks or even for his
heart and soul, like Donna did. Noah loved him because
he was his Dad. And Josh loved Noah in a way that
defied words or explanations.
But he was not telling all of that to Will Bailey. Who
Josh thought would make a fine father, even though he
was a piss-ant.
“I didn’t mean to say that you staying home with
him....”
“No, I didn’t think you did.”
“Anyway, I...” Will seemed very unsure of himself at
the moment. Josh wondered what was coming next. “I
think I need to apologize to you.”
Josh looked at the ground for a second. “Is that why
you didn’t come to our wedding?”
“I guess I felt like... like you wouldn’t want me
there.”
Josh shrugged his shoulders. “If I didn’t want you
there, I wouldn’t have invited you.”
“I thought that was Donna.”
“No.”
“Oh,” Looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him
whole, Will shuffled his weight between his feet. “I
see. Josh, I know I said some things to you during the
campaign when you and Donna started dating...”
The heated conversation in the lobby of the Best
Western in Portland. Josh’s hands on his hips,
struggling to maintain control of his raging emotions.
Will, sounding remote and passionless, reiterating the
same points again and again. Like a damned robot.
Later that night, in Josh’s room, Donna cried herself
to sleep, worried that she was going to lose her job.
Josh had waited until she was asleep and then left the
room. Pounded on Will Bailey’s door and that’s when
the real fight broke out.
That’s when the animosity between Santos campaign
manager and Russell’s campaign manager started to have
nothing to do with politics.
“It was none of your goddamn business, Will.” Josh
said tightly, echoing his words from years ago. The
anger was still there under the surface.
“You were the campaign manager for Santos and Donna
was working for me and we were, like, definitely not
working for Santos at that point. And when you were
her boss, you definitely made Donna’s love life your
business.”
Tactical error, Josh thought. Big, big tactical error
on Will’s part. “That was because I was jealous and in
love with her. Are you going to tell me now that you
had the same reasons?”
Will blanched and looked like he was about to run in
the opposite direction as fast as possible. Just as
Josh suspected. Just as he tried to tell Donna in that
hotel room so many moons ago. Donna had looked at him
like he was crazy, that the idea that Will Bailey
wanted her was so out of the question it was
ridiculous. Josh knew it was far from ridiculous. Who,
if not him, knew when men wanted Donna? He had had
that radar perfected years ago.
“No, no... of course not.” Will said, but both men
knew that wasn’t exactly true.
Possessive as he was, Josh was secure enough in his
marriage and life to know that he didn’t need to punch
Will Bailey in the face. All the words had been said
years ago and Josh was tired of rehashing this
conversation.
But Will kept going. “It’s not like I had much of a
shot, right? I mean, you were always going to win in
the end.”
Josh did a double take before giving an answer. He
knew now why Will wasn’t in a successful relationship.
“Love’s not politics, Will. It’s not a matter of
winning and there was definitely, definitely no
guarantee that I was going to be with Donna in the
end. She wasn’t, isn’t, a prize to be won.”
Will cleared his throat and looked around for a
second. “I get what you’re saying. I just... I just
want to apologize to you. What I said, back then, it
was out of line. And I know it upset Donna.”
Using his best glare, Josh stared deep into Will’s
eyes. “I don’t give a shit what you said to me. I
didn’t then. Donna being upset, crying herself to
sleep, was the only reason I hit you.”
The two men stared at each other. Josh defiant, Will
deflated; they stared for about a minute and then Josh
looked down at his watch. “I have to go.”
“Don’t let me keep you.”
Even though the Barlets, the Santos, C.J., Leo and
Toby were in the dark on the latest development in the
Lyman family, Josh couldn’t help but drop the bomb on
Will. What a confused, sad little cocktail wiener,
Josh thought to himself as he began to speak.
“I gotta meet Donna at the doctor’s office. We’re
having another baby and today we get to hear the
heartbeat.”
“Congratulations,” Will said, sounding remote and
robot-like.
“You should try the fatherhood thing sometime, Will,”
Josh shouted as he walked away. “It’ll make a man out
of you.”
Will grinned and then grimaced, walking in the
opposite direction.
“All-right, Noah,” Josh beamed at his son. “Do you
want to play race car?”