We've all seen it, The "I am Canadian" Rant, but how Canadian are we? Do we shop at Canadian stores? Do we buy any Canadian products? Do we even support Canada?

With all the USA companies that are here, it's becoming almost impossible for Canadian businesses to compete. The Montreal Expos were just sold to the USA, Molson Canadian may have to merge with Coors of the USA, most of the shows we watch and even the foods we eat comes from the United States.

Canadians don't like to be called 'Americans', but who can blame people for asking the question - Are you American?

Here's my version of that rant:
Hey.
  • I'm not American, but I buy American beer because it's cheaper,
  • I live in a house, that was built by lumber that suffers large tariffs from the USA, and sold by an American store (Home Depot) here in Canada,
  • I eat beef that is packaged by the American Meatpackers here in Canada,
  • I don't know Tom or Jack or Kelly from Canada, but I'm sure they're going to try to head to the USA where the big bucks are.
  • I have a Prime Minister, and he is always doing what the American President pressures him to do,
  • I speak slang English that I got from watching American TV shows and movies,
  • The Canadian flag that is sewn on my backpack was bought at Walmart, another American store here in Canada that gets a lot of its products from third world countries,
  • I'm too lazy to stand for the playing of the Canadian Anthem, and then I claim it goes against my beliefs or religion,
  • I believe the American military will keep the peace and protect us, but they haven't ever done it,
  • I believe in Diversity, but I have to assimilate like everyone else,
  • And that THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL, even though we have slaughtered it for over hundreds of years for it's furs to sell to English and the Americans,
  • You can buy toque or a Chesterfield at The Hudson's Bay Company, which is one of the few Canadian stores left, but a USA company is bidding on it for a takeover,
  • Z is pronounced ZED because of the French, Who have been getting a raw deal here in Canada and just recently, from the USA
  • And Canada is the Second largest landmass, unless you get your maps in the USA,
  • And nobody seems to care that the company who invented this whole idea to give Canadians a separate identity from Americans, may have to merge with Coors of the USA to compete in the Canadian beer market.
  • My name is Joe,
  • and I'm un-Canadian.