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Jason waited as the small group was led out of the club by Luke, his eyes never leaving Carly. She had remained standing where she was, eyes glued to the ground. When they were finally alone Jason made his way toward her.
"You ok?" he asked her softly.
Carly looked up at him, finally registering that she and her husband were alone. "Huh?" she asked distractedly.
Jason softly squeezed her shoulder. "I asked you if you were ok, but I think you just answered my question."
She sniffed and the corner of her mouth upturned into a sad smile. "I'm fine . . . I mean it's not like I didn't know what happened. Bobbie and Luke -- they both have gone over and over why they put me up for adoption. I've heard the horror stories too many times to count, but I guess hearing it again, after so long . . ."
He titled his head to the side, waiting for her to finish her thought.
"It still stings. Knowing what Luke knew about that place . . ." she trailed off and shrugged her shoulder. "It turned out for the best, that's what matters, right? I have no reason to be mad . . . Luke's right. I took the home Virginia gave me for granted and I don't think I've ever realized how much until this shit started."
"Carly . . . you know that Luke loves you."
"I know," she agreed quickly. "I know Bobbie loves me too. And I know that Virginia loved me. But it still . . . hurts." She laughed humorlessly. "I'm being stupid, I know," she told him crossing her arms and looking down at the ground again.
"No, you're not," he told her and lifted her chin with his thumb and index finger. "You can feel any way you want."
A tear slid down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. "I hope Blair's ok," she told him.
Jason watched her curiously, unsure if she was asking in genuine concern or if she was trying to change the subject. "I'm sure she's fine. She's got Manning."
"I know, but," she bit her bottom lip. "She had to hear worse things than I did. And if I feel what I feel right now, I can't image what she's going through."
******
"Blair, slow down," Todd told her again.
They both were long-legged and he was having difficulty keeping up with her longer than usual strides. But Blair continued to ignore him hoping to put as much distance between herself and anything associated with that orphanage. The more she thought about that time in her life, the more unwanted memories assaulted her minds eye.
"Blair!"
Todd grabbed a hold of her hand and tugged at it forcing her to slow her steps until she came to a halt.
"Todd, what the hell is wrong with you?" she yelled at him.
He could already see the unshed tears in her eyes even as she avoided looking at him. He clenched and unclenched his jaw, trying to keep himself from going after Luke. "You're walking too fast," he told her with a smirk. "My little legs need a break."
She rolled her eyes in response. "Liar," she told him, blinking her eyes quickly desperately wanting to keep her tears at bay.
"Hey," he called softly. "Look at me."
Her gaze finally landed on his concerned face. She couldn't hold back any longer and the tears began streaming down her cheeks. Todd cursed under his breath and reached out to take her in his arms.
"No," she told him determinedly. "No. No. No. I will not fall apart, Todd."
"It's ok, Blair," he told her, trying again to reach out to her.
"No," she told him as she slapped his hands away.
"Blair, come on."
Her hands continued to push his own away determined not to allow him to touch her. Her swatting hands flew past his reach and she began to strike his chest with her fists.
"I won't fall apart!" she cried.
Todd let her continue to hit him until she finally fell into his embrace. "It's ok," he told her gently, his mouth pressed against her ear. "I got you."
She continued to cry into his chest, the past two days of reliving horrible memories finally taking their toll. Todd continued to murmur into her ear, unsure if she could hear him or not but feeling it was the most he could do for his wife.
******
"Forget about Blair for a minute," Jason told Carly softly. "I want to know how you're doing. If you wanna keep talking about what happened with Luke, you can."
Carly wrapped her arms around herself and walked over to sit on top of Luke's desk. "What do you want me to say, Jase? Luke and Bobbie decided to put me up for adoption instead of taking their chances and raising me on the streets. If I were in their shoes, I probably would have done the same thing. Bobbie and Luke gave me a chance at a good life and I got it. I just never realized it until I came here."
He walked over to stand in front of her. He knew his wife and she was definitely holding something back.
"Or are you waiting for me to say that I think I'm an ungrateful bitch?" she muttered sadly.
He shook his head at her, surprised at her thought. "That's not true, Carly."
"Sure it is," she argued. "I was given this life--this life on a silver platter. I had a mom who loved me so much that she didn't care that I wasn't her biological kid. She loved me even though I was mean to her and didn't listen to her and--and screamed at her and so many other shitty things, Jase. And even after knowing all of that, the only thing I can think is 'why couldn't Bobbie love me just as much'. When I know--I know deep down in my gut that she did and that's why she put me up for adoption. If Bobbie and Luke didn't care they could have just sold me or left me on the streets or any other horrible idea that I can think of. You tell me, Jason, who besides an ungrateful bitch would think like that?"
He stood there for a moment and reached out to wipe away the tears flowing down her cheeks. "Someone who's confused. Someone who's been put through a crazy game that's bringing up bad memories. Carly, this isn't you," he told her thoughtfully. "Think about it. You haven't talked about yourself like this since before we got married."
She cocked her head to the side contemplatively. He was right. It had been years since she had talked so lowly about herself. She had come so far along since she had first showed up in Port Charles. She wasn't that insecure young girl who wanted love and revenge from her biological mother. She was strong and secure about herself. Hell, the last time she had self-esteem issues was when she was married to Sonny.
Jason immediately recognized when his words sunk in and he couldn't help but tease her. "I mean, yeah, you're a little crazy and you can be bitchy, but that's just normal for you." She laughed and hit him across his arm in response. "But you're not evil. You're human."
His hand settled on her face, cupping her cheek. Her own hand came up and settled on top of his. "Thank you."
"I didn't do anything."
"Yes, you did. You love me and you listen to me when I get in these crazy moods of mine," she told him sincerely. "I don't know how you do it."
"Easy - I love you."
She beamed at him in response and leaned into him wrapping her arms around his neck. "And God knows how much I love you too."
His hands reached out to hold her by the waist before kissing her softly. She pressed her forehead against his and sighed contently.
After a few quiet minutes, Carly finally asked him what was nagging her in the back of her mind. "Who do you think is behind this, Jason?" she asked him quietly, reluctantly pulling away from him. "From what Laura's told me, Frank Smith wanted to kill her and Luke at all costs."
Jason sighed and shook his head as he slowly let go of her. "I don't know. Frank Smith has been dead for years. Why would any of his old associates wait this long to go after Luke? And nothing that we've got is linking back to Luke. It doesn't make any sense." He shook his head lost in his own thoughts. "I'm going to contact some of the families in Florida to see if they've heard anything just to be careful." He gauged Carly's reaction carefully as he asked her, "You sure you're ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," she told him waving her hand at him dismissively. "Bygones and all that."
He nodded once in return. "I'm going to call Johnny and have him meet us at the airport just as a precaution."
"Good," she smiled.
He leaned down and kissed her quickly. "I'll be right outside if you need me."
She watched as he made his way out into the alley and immediately stood up after he closed the door behind him. She quickly made her way into Luke's bathroom to wash her face and conceal her red-rimmed eyes.
*******
"I'm sorry," Blair mumbled into Todd's shoulder. "I didn't mean to go off on you like that."
Todd snorted in return. "Sure you did," he teased her. "Any reason to hit me and you find it."
She pulled back from his embrace and reached out to wipe away her tears, but he beat her to it. "You ok?" he asked her quietly as his thumbs wiped away at her tear stained face.
"Yeah, I think I am," she told him in the same tone. "Thank you."
His eyebrows knit in curiosity. "Why are you thanking me?"
"For being you," she told him softly. "For knowing exactly what I needed."
He looked away for a moment before refocusing his gaze on her. "Half the time I don't know what you need, Blair. You freaked out and I followed my gut."
"Your gut is usually right," she told him reaching up to take his face in her hands. "I'm lucky I have you, Todd."
He couldn't help but snort in reply. "Yeah, right."
"I'm serious," she told him quietly.
He shifted uncomfortably on his feet. Todd was never one to take Blair's compliments easily so he side-stepped their conversation. He took her hands away from his face and leaned down to kiss her softly. "You sure you're ok?"
"Yeah," she sighed. "I just lost it there for a minute. All that stuff with Luke . . . it made me remember some other things that weren’t so great."
Todd clenched his jaw wanting to go after Luke for putting his wife through so much misery.
"Todd, it's ok," Blair told him, immediately noticing his anger. "I'm not mad at Luke."
"What?"
"It's not his fault I was there at the orphanage. Any of them. It's not his fault that Addie was sick and had no way of taking care of me. I don't even think I'm mad at him for leaving Carly there. He was right. Families are more willing to adopt babies than older kids. Carly had a good home and a good mom, she said as much." She bit the inside of her cheek. "And now that I remember him, Luke helped me when I was a kid too."
"Wait, you saw him again?" Todd asked her confused.
"No. No, I didn't. But I remembered his voice. I remembered him calling me doll face." She smiled then, a peaceful look on her face. "It helped me when I was in tight situations. Believe it or not, after I met him when I was a little girl, I felt safer. His voice was a comfort. It was soothing. I'm surprised I forgot about him to tell you the truth."
Todd snorted and Blair laughed softly. "You're such a softie," he told her with a roll of his eyes.
"I know," she grinned. "But it's true."
He gave her a once over and his eyes wouldn't leave her face. "You sure you're ok? You're ok with going to Florida even after all of this?"
She let out a small sigh. "Yeah, I am. I can't be afraid for the rest of my life and I have you with me." She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes. "You'll protect me from anything, right?"
"Right," he told her softly. "I love you, you know."
Her eyes misted over again and a genuine smile crossed her face. "I know. I love you too, Todd." She kissed him, running her hands through his hair. She released his mouth and smiled. "Let's go to the hotel. I want to call the kids."
"Whatever you want, Blair."
Chapter 12
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