I'M RIGHT AND EVERYONE ELSE IS WRONG BECAUSE I SAID SO
My friend Ryan sent me a new "Ryan's Corner" article (which I recently posted in his section) which was in regards to something that this guy posted on his own little "corner" of another guy's personal website. This guy Andy (owner of Andy's corner) posted a rant on his rant page http://www.oocities.org/d12milkman/ (I'm too lazy to add a link) about how Ryan copied off of him with the name "Ryan's corner" with some honorable mention to my site (it was nice of him to put up a URL to my site on his). I had no huge beef with his rant on the whole Ryan's corner (though I'm going to comment on it anyways) but I did have a major problem with his other rant he made. It went as follows:

Okay... so im having trouble thinking of new shit to talk about so anyone who wants to have something bitched about email me ideas or stuff that piss you off dr_poop_sox@hotmail.com... but if i get anymore love letters ill be pissed off... its enough that i get them from favids hot ass sister Mel Graves 765-3026... i told her that its just not gonna work out, but no... all she kept saying was "I'm Favids hot ass sister and ill take any guy... one time i took favid in his sleep"... but anyways... favids sister will have to be another addition to "Andys Corner".

Anyways the only thing that i can think of is music right now... Like linkin part and simple plan and good charlette... I can't stand those whiny, out-of-tune, hyper-active mop-haired morons that look like Oscar from sesame street and dance like the fuckin muppets. Like that one baby faced pussy from good char... whos he tryin to fool!? Go Home! If a fuckin prep puts on a dog collar and plays a guitar it deffinately does not make u punk! I mean just look at Linkin Park they have that one gay lord that wants to fuckin play the piano the whole fuckin time, the other guy thats got a god damn mixing bord and wants to play fuckin rap, and then they try to go screamo... wow... ur

such rebles.... get a life!!! Then ppl seem to think they r awsome becasue they blend different sounds together... that doesnt make them awsome... that just makes them indecisive pricks just trying to fit in in the music world at the very end of a "talent rope" that was already very short to begin with.... and y do all these ppl complain about their parents... This is all the good char songs put together... so if u actually want to sit through a whole song of theirs cover up whats in the quotes up here because i dont wanna end up ruining it for you... "I Hate My Dad!" ....god damn!!... Do u think i care... and if i did care then dont you think that it would have gotten old like 10 songs ago... if not more... seriously!!! if i said i felt sry for u would u just shut up already?!?!?

i have no respect for a band thats just like "ooh i have an idea lets put out a new album... oh well we need songs to put out an album... hhhmmmm ~pretending to think~... well um lets make a new song!!! this time we will complain about our dad with a bit different tune! Its genius, we will make millions, and all those 9th graders and little girls out there will gain some sort of feeling of self worth and think they r someone cool just by listening to how much we hate our dads... becasue ppl who listen to us r obviously cool"....Did u ever notice how many Asian teens r at those god damn concerts... and maybe if they just chose a fuckin genre then ppl wouldnt hate them so much, except the little 7-9th graders that r just listening to what ppl say is cool... develope an opinion!!

And if u hate pop music so much i have news for u... u dont make fun of it by becoming it!!! I mean iv heard like 5 evenescence songs and somehow iv heard them all... if that makes any sense... Now theres a lesson to learn in all this useless rambling... First of all, Favid has a hot sister, Second of all you shouldnt just listen to music ppl think is cool. Be your own person (Insert smiley face picture here because I can't do it on this). Because u know what, thats what is really cool. Not what is on much music or whatever. Now dont get the wrong idea, im not one of those hardcore Beethoven fans that just hates everything out there...Im just saying develope ur own tastse... But those hard core Beethoven fans r weird rnt they... They think they are so cool, when they, they.......they AREN'T! Ha ha ha Ha HAA hA ~creepy evil laughter~!... showed them...

I seriously felt a pain in my frontal lobe after I read this shit. I don't know whether it was the content or the style, but it was horribly done and I don't know where anyone gets the balls to say he's funny. He's not funny, it's just an awful attempt at it. Let me break down every problem I have with this "rant" (if you can call it that).

PARAGRAPH 1: What the fuck is this asshole trying to prove in this first paragraph? I'm no level of a good charlotte fan (can't stand them anymore) but what the hell is he trying to say? "...just look at Linkin Park they have that one gay lord that wants to fuckin play the piano the whole fuckin time, the other guy thats got a god damn mixing bord and wants to play fuckin rap, and then they try to go screamo... wow... ur such rebles.... get a life!!!". Linking park with their one "gay lord" who wants to play the piano the whole fucking time? Heaven forbid if someone wants to play piano in their band. The other guy with the mixer boards who wants to play rap and then they try to go screamo? I can't think of anything to say to this other than the fact that he doesn't have a goddamn thing to back up his opinion in this regards and he's just throwing shit on the page to make it look like he has a reason. I don't feel like touching anything else on this one. PS: I don't care what anyone on this fucking planet thinks, I like Simple Plan and Linkin Park.

PARAGRAPH 2: You say Linkin Park are indecisive pricks just trying to fit in the music world because they blend different sounds together? Why would blending different sounds together make them indecisive? Could it be that you're running out of things to say in regards to them? That little "talent rope" bit was interesting though, I only fail to see what the hell you mean by it. Was it to make your opinion seem more important by throwing in some deep shit in there? As for the rest of this paragraph, I hate good charlotte too, but the writing style here was just way too redundant, poorly done and unfunny altogether.

PARAGRAPH 3: Reading his little story about what a band he doesn't respect thinks when they make a new album was so yawn inducing that I almost passed out just re-reading it. I'm sure bands automatically come up with the idea tha they should make a new album, THEN they realize it needs songs, THEN they decide to make a "new song" (after all, a new album can't have old songs on it). Your story could have been funnier, too bad your wit is dryer than a skeleton fart in a sand storm. You have a point though, Asian teens sure are into good charlotte music. They just buy all the tickets before any caucasian or colored people can get there, therefore causing the entire stadium to be filled with tens of thousands of screaming asian fans. Do you see the point I'm trying to make here? You make some dumbass comment about Asian teens being over abundant at the rock concerts, but maybe you haven't taken consideration into the fact that maybe the concert was in, I don't know, say, Asia perhaps? They do tour over there too you know. I don't think they need to choose a genre to make people stop hating them. They've already chosen a genre and it's whatever the hell their music is classified under. And finally, you throw in the phrase "develop an opinion" at the end which I'll comment on later on down the road.

PARAGRAPH 4: This is the paragraph that really made me shit myself in anger. First off, what does 5 evanescence songs all sounding the same have to do with musicians saying they hate pop music yet are classified under than genre? The way you structured the sentence there suggested to me you were making an example, only to get off topic completely. You say that you should just listen to music that people think is cool, and that you should be your own person (rounded off with a smiley face which would suggest to me that you're satisfied with this train wreck you call a rant). Here's the question I have for you: Why are you telling us what to do when you're also pitching off corny bullshit about us being ourselves? If I listened to what you told me then wouldn't that make me not my own person anymore? This whole phrase made me feel like I was reading some sappy shit off of an after school special. Hell, why do you automatically assume that people who listen to popular bands are only listening to it because they think it'll make them cool (not saying there aren't people like that)? I actually know this Andy guy, and if I'm not mistaken, he likes listening to Blink 182, which is by far the most mainstream, popular music around. Are you listening to them because they are popular, or because you like their sound? Stop being a fucking hypocrit. You say not to listen to whatever is on much music and yet Blink 182 is on Much music too. Hell, half the bands you like are on much. You are yet again telling us to develop our own taste. So does that mean we should develop your taste in music? Not so unique anymore. The people who listen to this shitty music already have their own taste developed, and that would be a taste for this shitty music. I like Linking Park and Simple Plan, sorry if I don't pander to your tastes in music but I listen to them because I like the sound. I don't give a fuck about being unique or not, because it doesn't matter who I listen to, there's always someone else who likes the band too. Actually, when you think about it, I'm being more unique than you by listening to Linkin Park and Simple Plan because all I ever hear is that people hate them. You have a right to your opinion, but stop trying to tell us what we shouldn't listen to and then tell us to have our own tastes in music. You just sound stupid that way. As for the rest of this rant...Yikes. So much for integrity.

That just pissed me off...I don't know why. His rants are pure shit though, nothing funny about them at all, no good points made, nothing compared to mine (because I rock). I guess while I'm at it I'll also pick apart his other rant.

Unfortunately I have not written any new "Andy's Corner's" lately... yes, I know its a sad thing. I don't think that I am making an overstatement in saying that Connors made this amazing site, and worked his poor lonely fingers to the bone make this site, and putting a corner in it just for little old me... Then someone ripped it off... that's right (www.chrono-black.co.nr) as soon as you put out something that people think is kind of funny, and you are kind of proud of, somebody else wants in on it and makes one themselves in a sad attempt at being cool. This "Ryan's corner" has been put out by none other than Ryan Matheson (all though I have been known to do him in the bum and often cuddle with him after dark.... I am not pleased with this recent turn of events at all) and his dastardly side kid ( cough-side bitch-cough ) Jeremy Harris... I mean I spend time on bitching about stuff then typing it all up on the computer... And I definitely don't do it be imitated... its not even an original name... Anyone can take something like Andy's corner and change the name in the beginning... and maybe they say imitation is the highest form or flattery... but I don't often buy into that psychological bull shit... Mind you I use it my self on people all the time... but no... I wont let this one slip... SO unfortunately, my addition this time is not as funny as past ones have been... But that is for good reason... I am calling out RyRy's Rip-off of my treasured corner... And I challenge him to a bitch about shit duel if you will.... I can bitch about shit better, longer, and wittier than he ever can... So maybe to make up for the lack of funny in this Andy's corner, Connors will be kind enough to put up a couple of my old ones just to keep the good times Rollin... until next time ...

latex

Andrew

So sad that no one gets to read your witty comments or interesting points that you make such as...wait...nope, sorry, I didn't see any. I don't know how you can say that your friend Conners (I know him too) "worked his poor lonely fingers to the bone make this site" considering I've been there, and it looked like next to no effort was made into making it. Hell, I work harder on my site, and it's just plain black and white (I draw all of the pictures on this site, minus the ones I found off the internet and modified). You say that my friend Ryan ripped off your "Andy's corner" bullshit? I don't care if he did or not, but I do have to say, his ranting is a vast improvement over yours. You call me Ryan's "side kid" "side bitch"? Let's not forget one thing here. I started my site back in late April 2004. I made this site almost a year ago and I'm still at it, and you have the nerve to call me his bitch, or side kick? Here's some news for you. I am a veteran over you in the ranting department, and I can totally verbally kick your ass any day, any time. My rants are infinately better than yours, funnier than yours, and I make better points in mine. You say that you made something that people think is KIND of funny? I've had people almost shit themselves laughing at my material. All I ever hear is positive remarks towards my website, and I get more traffic on mine than you ever dreamed of (most of which are from people I haven't even met, or don't even know). Ryan is not making a sad attempt at being cool. Aside from the spelling errors, lack of punctuality, and grammer mistakes, Ryan's rants are a million times funnier than yours will ever be (and every now and then, he'll make a damn good point that'll get you thinking). YOu spend time bitching about stuff and then typiing it all up on the computer and you don't do it to be imitated. Who gives a shit if Ryan made "Ryan's corner". You don't have a monopoly on the name, or the idea behind it. Like I said, even if he is imitating you, he's doing a better job at it. And if you think that I'M imitating you, then you have another thing coming, because I doubt you even go onto the site and put your own material in it yourself. I, on the other hand, created my whole site myself, from scratch, and I do all the work myself. If you want to challenge Ryan to have a bitch dual with you, then you're also challenging me. And let me tell you, when you battle with me, it's not pretty, and the only thing that'll keep you from realizing that I'm superior and that I'm winning will be your inability to realize that you suck at bitching. Hell, I'll send this webpage to your email, then we'll see what you have to say about it. Quit being so full of yourself. You're not as great as you might think.

UPDATE: (04:12:05): I recently took Ryan's corner off the website. He said he was too lazy to keep going.

 

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