I was told one time that I was too sensitive and that it might be a reason why girls don't like me. I was a little confused as I was always under the impression that girls preferred more sensitive guys and not those moronic heartless dipshits that laugh when a bus crashes. Well, I decided that if this was the case then maybe I should be more of an asshole than I am right now. I was going to hold back from writing this as I knew it is a touchy subject and I might upset a few people, but I stopped and thought about me being too sensitive. I mean, why should I really hold back my opinions just because I'm afraid of offending people? So, without further ado, here goes.

Recently in our town there was the death of a person that was sixteen years old. I'll spare you the details suffice to say it was a very tragic accident, but needless to say it was only twenty four hours before it was all anyone could ever talk about. Everyone was going on about it repeatedly, I heard three different accounts of how the event took place, and everyone I know has put R.I.P (name of person) in their msn name. I feel sorry for the guy, seeing as how it was way before his time, but that's all I'll feel. And now I'd like to say that I'm tired of constantly hearing about it like death wasn't something that ever happened in the real world. yes, we get the point, he's gone...you barely knew him...but since he died why don't we all act as if he was our best friend so that we'll have a story to tell when everyone gets together. We can all swap vague stories about how close we were to him, when in reality the closest you were to him was a few heys every now and then.

I'm tired of reading sappy emails, i'm tired of seeing everyone's msn name being the same old shit, and i'm tired of the fact that I know the only way to ever get attention is for me to die...let's get over it and on with our lives. I mean, shit, I recieved an email that stated that everyone it was sent to should write down something about what we liked about him and send it to everyone to read. I still havent written anything because I knew him the same way that I know a movie star. I only heard of him, never talked to him. Sure i feel bad...but that's all anyone'll get out of me...and nothing more. What if some guy hated him? He couldn't get away with writing down his true opinions of the guy. He'd end up having everyone bitching at him calling him an insensitive guy. This is clearly bullshit. If I hated someone who recently died, I would not let their death change my opinion of them while they were still alive. Death doesn't bring complete purification, actually, in most cases it brings quite the opposite. I also recieved another email that stated that many people were shocked about his death including his enemies, friends and even people who didn't know him. People who didn't know him? Yes we were shocked but I think that anyone who was never shocked before after watching the news for an hour are assholes. People die every day. What about them? Some months ago a lady in her mid forties was struck by a speeding driver on a local road and was killed almost immediately. What about being shocked for her? She died too. She probably had a much larger family, more friends, but I never saw a single damn email sent around for her. I don't understand it.

When I die I want everyone to forget about crying for a week. I want you all to forget and get on with your lives. Anyone who hated me I would prefer to continue hating me...in fact, I think I'd prefer them to spit on my grave. I don't want all the attention, because I know damn well it's all just sympathy pleas and most won't even actually know me. If you didn't know me well, just say it's a shame and continue on. Let there be just one day of rememberance and let's move on.

I probably went a little over board on this one. I don't care. If you have a problem with it, email me at chrono__black@hotmail.com and state that you think I'm an asshole and why.