Nothing like sitting around and watching the exploitation of a group of gullible idiots eh? Can we really call this entertainment? Hell no. Seriously, Who the fuck was the idiot who was sitting around one day and decided that he'd create a whole new genre of television for the mass media? I don't know who's more stupid. The guys who wasted their time making the shows, or the millions of befudled dipshits who waste their time actually watching this load of tripe.

Rather than attack the entire reality tv show in general, I've decided to choose the specific ones responsible for making the whole reality bullshit so fucking popular. The most painful thing about this whole ordeal is that I'd have to actually watch the shows just to get a good idea of what the show's actually like. So, rather than waste my time, I'll just give my biased opinion based on a small amount of information. The following are:

SURVIVOR-This sounded like a great idea for a TV show turned out to be totally botched more than Anna-Nicole Smith's Liposuction. You'd think a show where contestants are placed on an island and have to battle it out to be the last one still on the island would be a good idea for a tv show. And to be perfectly honest, yes it does. That is until I heard about how the show goes about. Jeez, they did the equivalent of what nintendo did to luigi's first actual video game (you know, the pitiful luigi's mansion ghost hunting bullshit). They totally fucked up a good idea. What is up with the whole tribe and voting off the island bullshit? that isn't surving. That's a fucking popularity contest. Piss on the corporate media. I'm going to make my own version of survivor. Twenty contestants placed on seperate parts of an island. Each contestant must stay in their designated area and if they try to leave then they will be shocked with 1000 volts of electricity. That way they can't leave. They must survive the raging elements and animals with the only equipment they have is the clothing on their back and their smarts. They must make weapons and tools out of whatever they can find, and search for food by themselves. The winner of all of the money is the one who is the only one who doesn't die. There, take that! No more of this voting off, and tribes bullshit.

AMERICAN/CANADIAN IDOL-We all know that we don't care about these people. I only watch american idol cuz I'm a shallow, horny sex fiend and I only want to watch the hot chicks up there strutting their stuff. I'm just kidding, that's retarded. So here are a bunch of lowlife losers that go for some auditions, and wind up having a good 15 minutes of fame before they see in a year or two that 99% of their CDs sold are now being used for coasters. The other 1% are stuck in the trash, which is coincidently what this show is. I just watch so I can hear simon make fun of everyone who sucks. That guy rocks. I think it's retarded how hung up people are on what he says. He says something negative about a singer people like, everyone hates him, he says something good about the person, everyone likes him again. People are idiots. I can't believe the fucking publicity people like Clay Aiken, Ryan Malcolm, Reuben and Kelly Clarkson(not Gary Beals or Justin Garuini, At least people see they're dipshits) have gotten from this stupid thing. Jeez, right now teenage girls faint if they saw Clay Aiken walking by. But before American Idol, no one would've given him their seat on the bus. They should cancel the show, considering noone likes pop music anymore. I hate this show.

JOE MILLIONAIRE 1 AND 2-Man, these women are the stupidest people on the face of the planet. Either that or this guy joe is moreso. Jeez, I thought they were bad enough with the first one, but when I heard about the second one, I couldn't help myself from asking "what the fuck?" over and over. Do these women even watch TV? If they did they would know that there has to be some kind of scam going on here. Considering they have the same host as in the first one, the idea behind it is exactely the same as the first one, there are camaras all over the place. The clues couldn't be more obvious if it walked up behind them and kicked them in the ass. And the fact that in the first show they said at the end that he had no money, she was disappointed, and then they both ended up getting double the amount he was supposedly worth. Riiiiight. So either these women are as retarded as I origanlly stated, or they know the whole scam and are still in it for the money that they know they will recieve in the end. And then that will totally defeat the whole purpose of it. Either way, watching the show is still the equivalent of having your dick stapled to your ass.

THE SWAN-The moment I heard of this show I knew that it would not only affect my gag reflex, but it would send it into a seizure. This isn't just stupid, it's immoral and just by watching it makes me feel like an asshole. For those of you who don't know, what they do is they get a group of "ugly" women to volunteer to get a complete free makeover. This includes a facelift, nosejob, liposuction, and a therapy session to help completely change their personality so that they can have that annoying bullshit possitiveness. As if this wasn't enough, the end of the season consists of these girls dressing up and going on some kind of beauty contests to see which one is most beautiful. This goes to show that they're not congratulating the women, they're congratulating the surgeons. Good job dipshits. Shit, this show goes against everything I believe when it comes to women. I believe that women are beautiful if they don't have to cover themselves in every kind of makeup imaginable. And the worst thing is, you know damn well they're getting away with one simple thing: They're brainwashing any gulible teenage girls watching the show. Telling them that it's best to look beautiful on the outside and to adopt the personality of someone who is not what you've been exposed to by society. Some of these women have husbands and children. Who the hell would want to change what they look like if they've already found love? Most people change how they look because they can't find love. Great, tell all the kids of the world that it's best to take society's image. Fucking hipocrits. Having all these commercials on TV stating to be who you are and not be anyone else, and then they come out with this bullshit? shit. Do yourselves a favor girls, if you're looking for someone to love, then don't change yourself. It may be hard to find someone, but in the end you'll find that someone who will look at you more than just a sex object or see past your slight imperfections. Guys like that are the only people who matter. In conclusion, this is a fucking retarded show.

NICK AND JESSICA-If you and your fiance are both struggling musicians, what is the logical course of action to get more money and fame? Write better music? hell no. Pimp out your marriage and "personal" life into a 30 minute a week reality TV show, or as I describe it, a huge bullshit fest. Yeah, as if we didn't hate them all enough, now we have to watch them and their oh so interesting lives. Shit, this isn't interesting...it's like shooting yourself in the foot. It won't kill you but it sure will hurt like a bitch. If I wanted to watch personal lives on TV, at least let's see them have sex or take a shit once in a while. That's something I can relate to (except the sex part). I don't want to have to ooo and awe over their big mansion, or a huge $2000 camping trip. I want to see the dirt. I want to see Jessica's ugly morning face and hear her early morning bowel movements. I might be a little off with my info, but in order to be correct I'd have to watch the show, and I'd rather do something more productive like nude scuba diving with sharks.

THE BACHELOR-Shit, do I really need to waste my time explaining this one? Beautiful way of finding love. By competing with a bunch of other PMSing women in a volley of cat fights, and for what? Some smart ass loser who thinks he's the shit? He isn't the shit. He IS shit. There's nothing more to say.

BIG BROTHER-Name taken from Orsen Wells' novel 1984, just watching this show is going to lower your IQ by 20 points. Shit, I watched one episode of this show...which season I don't remember...and I'm still wondering what all the hype was about. They stick some dipshits in a house filled with hidden camaras, people form relationships, people get cheated on, people get deceived, people end up having to leave the house, the losers still inside cry their pussy little eyes out for the person who has to leave, the end. Who cares? I have to put up with enough cheating people in my life to have to watch some other dipshit cry when some girl he met at the beginging of the season is screwing his friend....especially in a house with FUCKING HIDDEN CAMARAS!!! Stop your fucking whining, or just go kill yourself so I don't have to listen to it.

FEAR FACTOR- They really ought to change the name of this to DUMB FACTOR. There's really nothing having to relate with fear in this drudgery. Being tortured by method of screwdriver in your urethra, that's fear. Yeah, there's nothing I enjoy more than seeing prideless idiots eating pig assholes, maggots, electric eels and god knows what other shit. Probably shit. But anyone who watches this should get their head reexamined. Next they'll decide to do a reality TV show with some kind of redneck deer hunting theme. Winner is the one who can bag the most game. People are fucked.