Let it be known these are things that girls I know have said to me, including a traslation of what they actually meant. These are real life occurances that happened to me so don't bullshit me by saying "BUT JEREMY, NOT ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT"....pleeeeease. *rolls eyes.
1)I DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW: god you look so ugly with a shaved head!
2)I WOKE UP THE OTHER MORNING AND I REALIZED THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE: I met some guy yesterday over the internet so I decided I'd throw away a six month relationship, but If you hadn't have asked me if I loved you anymore I would've strung you along until the end of next year so I'd leave school and wouldn't have to see you again. (I'm not fucking kidding)
3)SHE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU SHE'S NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP: She still can't believe your her cousin's half brother! (let it be known that we weren't blood related)
4)I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU ANYMORE: I just went out with you to make some other guy who acts and talks like Adam Sandler in the movie The Waterboy jealous, regardless of the fact I already new he liked me and it's pretty obvious by the way he lets me kick him around and have him pussy whipped.
5)SHE SAYS SHE'S BREAKING UP WITH YOU: She decided she was too fucking hypocritical to dump you herself so she got me to do it, she's also breaking up with you for some girl named Christene
6)YOUR BEST FRIEND'S GIRLFRIEND IS GOING TO MAKE OUR LIFE MISERABLE SO I THINK IT'S BETTER THAT WE BREAK UP: I decided I wanna fuck a gorilla (long story)
7)YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR ME: i didn't really want you anyways
Here's the thing I want to say. STOP BULLSHITTING ME! It doesn't matter what your excuse is, I'm still going to be pissed off if you break up with me. So why not just tell me straight out so I don't feel like I'm getting fucked over again. Why do women feel like guys aren't going to be hurt if they lie about the reasons and make up some dumbass excuse? if us guys did that to you and you found out, then you would be on our asses so fast. You'd tell your girl friends that we're two timing liars and then we'd never get laid. Stop yanking me around by my balls and tell me the reasons why. I don't care if "it's not you, it's me" or "I think we should see other people" or "I don't think it's working out.". Just tell me how you really feel. "It's deffinately you and I'm just too chicken shit to tell you for fear you might a teensy bit more angry than usual" and "I AM seeing other people" and finally "It could be working out, but I'm a bitch and you're passive".