A FEW THINGS THAT COULD HAVE IMPROVED "THE PUNISHER"
How many people have seen the recent version of the movie "The Punisher"? This movie stars Thomas Jane as Frank Castle, also known as The Punisher, also known as the angry, powerless super hero that's supposed to be so damn angry and badass yet spends the whole duration of the movie sitting around drinking and crying like a little pansy (Thomas Jane is also credited for his roles in Deep Blue sea and Dream catcher). The movie blows for the most part and seems like it could have used a few more brainstorms prior to writing the script. Don't get me wrong though. The Punisher character kicks ass and this movie had it's fair share of kick ass moments, but not enough to match the most badass super hero movie of all time. Blade.

So, I've decided that this movie could have been a lot better than it actually was so I've decided to list some ways the directors, producers, etc. could have changed this from a disaster into a 100% badass phenomenon. Enjoy.

(1)Eliminate everything but the first twenty minutes and the last twenty minutes.

The only parts of this movie that didn't make me nearly fall asleep were the last twenty minutes of it, in which The Punisher kills every bad guy in a single night, and the begining of the movie which showed that the hero had a purpose (which is what we all need in a super hero). Everything else that came in between was just boring and useless shit that they threw in there as a filler because they couldn't think of anything else to do. I mean, sure they could make a movie that has killing through the whole time, but not everyone wants to see that because apparently people are wusses and would rather watch someone sitting around, drinking and crying, and would rather watch useless characters just thrown in there to make the movie as boring as hell. Was there seriously any purpose to the three people living in the building there (one played by Rebecca Romijn-Stamos who seemed to serve no purpose throughout her entire performance). They spent all of two seconds explaining why his entire family was killed and no one was in jail, and they didn't even explain that one very well. Hell, even the action scenes that occured in the middle were just too boring (except for when the punisher stabbed the guy in the throat, right after his car got destroyed which sucked because he never even got to use some of the kick ass modifications he made). Face it. The last twenty minutes were jaw dropping. First off he has that badass skull shirt the whole time. He kills people with a bow and arrow. He blows up all of the body guards in the room by sending up champagne booby trapped with some C4. He kills any survivors of the blast. He pins a guy's hand to the wall with a knife, and then rams another knife under the guy's chin, where you can see the blade through his open mouth. He kills Howard Saint's (played by John Travolta) son by pinning him to a shelf, putting a bomb in his hand where the detonator is attached to a string tied to the ceiling, and then just walks away. And finally, he shoots Howard Saint in the legs, ties him to a car, pushes the car into the middle of the parking lot where every other car is rigged with more C4, and then blows his ass up. All of this in Twenty minutes. The whole movie should've just been spent with The Punisher killing EVERY one of the bad guy's henchmen one by one, and then kill a few other people just for the hell of it. That would rock.

(2)Find a better actor to play The punisher.

I have absolutely no idea who could replace Thomas Jane in this movie, but I seriously think that he wasn't cut out for this part. He didn't seem evil and angry enough. His voice wasn't raspy or dark, he sounded way too...shitty is the only word I can think of. Even his attempts at acting as if he's depressed blow. Where's the look of anger? If you can think of who could play a better part, let me know.

(3)Find a better actor to play Frank Castle's son...on second thought, just take the kid out altogether.

Face it, no one likes to see kids in movies. They're shitty actors and usually make a movie worse by just being in it. To me, the whole performance of everyone else is brought down by a kid with shitty acting. The kid in this movie was a huge perpetrator of this. I'm so damn glad he got killed earlier on. They should've made it be a daughter instead. Female kid actresses are way better in comparison. Nevertheless, the kids shitty whining got on my nerves way too much.

(4)Take into consideration the fact that John Trevolta makes a lousy enemy.

Who agrees with me? Alec Baldwin would have made a way better villian for this movie. Or Christopher Walken. They are major kick ass villians and would have knocked the socks off of That pussy ass performance put on by John Travolta. He was way too much of a cry-baby in the movie and not angry enough. Alec Baldwin's acting in Mercury Rising was majorly kick ass. And Christopher Walken...well that just speaks for itself. How many other movies has John Travolta playing a villian where he did a good job? Battlefield Earth? Give me a break.

(5)Hell, Just recast the whole goddamn movie.

Forget specifics, just recast everyone in the movie. And show more titty scenes. Those are what really count. There's not a single actor in this movie who really deserved a big thumbs up by me. The Punisher's wife was way too much of a ham, the kid sucked, the villians sucked, everyone sucked.

(6)More shots of The punisher in his skull shirt.

Seriously, there wasn't enough shots of The Punisher in his skull shirt. That shirt looks majorly badass. Yet they only showed him wearing it three times or thereabouts in the whole damn movie. Check out the picture below:
Doesn't that look majorly kickass? What a waste.

(7)Less sneaking, more shooting.

The Punisher spent parts of the movie sneaking around and coming up with plans to foil the bad guy's plans. What the hell? The Punisher is a run in and shoot them type of guy. He shouldn't be sneaking.

(8)More boobs.

Enough said.

 

And there you have it. Hopefully some directors will read this. Maybe then they'll get it through their skulls to realize what actually makes a great movie.
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