YOUR CAR MAY BE ABLE TO GO 300 MPH, BUT IT'S NOT LIKE IT MATTERS I hate cars. There, I said it. So all of you offended people who love driving around your four wheelers, snow mobiles, and climax when you see your idea of what a "perfect" car is can blow me. I can't stand it when people obsess over their cars and yet think a person who obsesses over their guitars are just wasting their time (this doesn't happen to me too often but with what I've seen anything is possible). What is so interesting about cars anyways? They're huge hunks of metal welded together to get people from point A to point B, and are sure as hell not eye candy. Why do people collect cars and then not actually use them because they don't want to scratch the finish or some stupid shit like that? What good is something if you can't use it? Big deal if the older and more brand new a car looks the more expensive it is. People who collect classic cars and then restore them are doing it because they'll be worth millions of dollars in the future, but what's the point because you know damn well that no one is going to end up selling the car in the end anyways. Collecting an object because it's worth a lot of money is completely useless unless you actually eventually sell the object.

I hate when people see a "cool looking" car and they do pretty much everything except cum themselves over the looks of it. The spew out some stupid bullshit about the interior and the horsepower and some other shit that I really don't give two squirts of shit about. What's so cool about the car anyways? It looks impressive but how the hell are you going to know unless someone drives it? And even then, you should all get bent because just wondering how well it drives is stupid. I was once standing around somebody was stating that the type of car they want was a...shit I can't even remember all of the crap that they were saying. These morons even choose their type of car right down to a leather interior (like an interior really matters) and the seatbelts. Why the hell would someone even care about all that shit? Why the hell do these people prattle on about these specific details to everyone almost like they expect this shit to be universal knowledge? They don't seem to realize that there are some people who don't give a fuck about what the hell is on the inside of a car. I don't go up to people and start telling them what type of guitar I want because I know damn well that some people don't know what a pickup is, or what a fret is, or even what the tuners are. I take that kind of shit into consideration and I kind of expect people to think about that kind of thing. You know what type of car I want? Something affordable that will get me from my starting point to my destination alive, but if you want me to get specific about it then I'd say the type of car I want is red. You think that's pathetic? Eat shit.

The thing that really pisses me off about these people that obsess with their cars is that they think that speed is really important. I was watching the show "MTV's Cribs" (You know, that show that follows around famous musicians and useless has beens through their hollywood mansion where the audience is supposed to ooo and aww over all that these things that the musician has inside their twenty bedroom house, it's a stupid fucking show[I know I'm not proud of watching it but my friend was watching it and I was too lazy to change the channel]), and they had some black rapper showing off his huge car collection. He was standing in front of his "prized possession" of a car and going on about the different features it had. He stated "this car is one fast car. it can go up to 300 mph. My wife's car is faster". When he said this I felt this kind of pain hit my frontal lobe, I couldn't believe that there are actually mouth breathers who get off on how fast a car can go. Why the fuck would anyone care if their car can excede the speed limit by good 200 miles or more? These idiots all stand around bragging about their cars like they stand around bragging about their penis size. Hell, that's exactely what it's like. When guys start bragging about their car speed they go drag racing and almost get themselves into shit with the law just for the soul purpose of proving their car is fast, which in the universal spectrum of things is just as important as winning a pissing distance contest. When it all boils down to it, everything on this planet seems to be nothing more than the equivelent of whipping your dick out in front of a tape measurer in hopes of gaining male superiority throughout the tribe.

It's not like you can use the cars to their full potential during you day to day life. Where the hell are you going to find a place that allows you to go that fast without the fear of loss of human life due to an accident? At least when us musicians brag about how loud our amplifiers can go we can actually prove it. Just crank up the volume, get your guitar out, and start playing. And you can do this every day and actually accomplish something while doing so. Don't worry about not being able to show off your car speed though people. There's always the long stretches of land throughout Saskatchewan, Canada, but then again, who the hell wants to go there? Find a new hobby you morons.

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