I don't know why the hell people skateboard. I can't imagine a bigger time waster than pushing a piece of wood around with your foot while afterwards failing miserably at every trick they try to pull off. Everytime I go to the skatepark that is in my town (always against my will because I frankly don't give a shit about dipshit wannabe skaters, unless it's to watch them fall down) there's always a bunch of morons who try to pull off tricks that they can never do, and usually get pissed off when they can't do it. Get a clue, it's not your shoes, it's not because you're having an off day and it's not because there's too much sand on the pavement, it's because anyone who enjoys skateboarding is a psycho. My band played at the annual skateboard park competition where a bunch of people come to skate for fame, and whoever does the best tricks wins (I don't know if there's a prize or not but if it ends up being bragging rights then they really need help). We needed the gig and figured this would be a thing to do for the time being. We played for almost two hours before we realized that no one even gave a fucking shit about our band and would rather watch a bunch of teenagers pushing around a plank on wheels while attempting all of the same skateboarding moves that their "idols" do on TV. We didn't even get an applaud for our effort, yet they couldn't stop cheering for some stupid thirteen year old who managed to pull off...get this...an ollie. Ooooooo! Next thing you know they'll be able to grind a rail without falling down. What do you think is more impressive? A band that writes and performs their own music without screwing up once, or someone who finally manages to land a kickflip after trying about seventy billion times. Congratulations buddy, now pick up your board and try again, only this time try to impress me. I don't know why the hell girls think that skateboarders are awesome and think they're cool. What is it about a skateboarder that makes them seem so appealing to members of the opposite sex? A guy does a trick (that the girls never even know the name of) and all of the chicks start humping him like he's king of the world. Yet some guy has the ability to create subatomic energy and no one even gives a fuck. What is so important about skateboarding that makes the survival of the planet not important?
Why do people idolize skateboarders like Tony Hawk and Rodney Mullen? They're getting paid millions everyday not because of the fact that they're skateboarding, but because of endorsements, which means wearing the products that the advertisors pay them to wear in hopes that some easily influenced wannabe skater will see their hero wearing nike sneakers and figure that if they wear them then they might be as good as Tony Hawk etc. These morons will go out and buy all of this crap just because their favorite skaters wear them, and you people don't seem to realize this? What the fuck is up with that? Since when has skateboarding been considered a sport as opposed to a recreational activity? Why do we have to pay these people millions of dollars to turn the masses into corporate zombies? When will the fucking insanity end?!!
I don't know how to skateboard, I tried it once and failed miserably (and when I did succeed in doing something it wasn't very rewarding to me) and I sure as hell find nothing impressive about the abilities of the local skaters. I'm willing to admit that I suck at skateboarding, and so should everybody else. I would rather play Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 for Gamecube than to go out and throw a plank around with my feet (it's more fun and the results feel more rewarding). I know that the tricks you can make the skaters do in the game are impossible, but that's what makes it more fun. I love when I can pull off a 30 trick combo in a video game while somebody else can't even pull off a 1 trick combo. Big deal if I'm so lazy I would rather sit around and watch images on a screen rather than go out and excercise with an extreme sport, but if I were given the choice between kicking ass in a video game and going out to attempt skateboarding I'd ask "where can I plug this in". Give up your escapade for fame and glory in extreme sports you loser. No one's impressed.