My Support System

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These people have made a world of difference in my life.  They have given me hope for the future.  They offer their love and support when times are rough.  They are understanding and thoughtful.  They  give me that little smile to boost my day.  But most of all, they stand by my side through thick and thin, and help me realize that there is more to life than calories, exercise, weight, fat grams, etc.  This page is dedicated to those special people that have reached out to me and made an impact.  I love you all!

My Therapist: Hmmm...I've known her for quite some time now.  She has helped me begin to understand my disease.  At first, I wanted to believe that she was the devil; only concerned about making me "fat."  But I realized that she is more concerned with how I am feeling and the thoughts that I have, rather than the number on the scale.  I now look forward to my appointments.  She's there to listen to me and she's there to give me some much needed advice and guidance.  We've been through a lot together, but she continues to push me down the road to recovery.  She's taught me that an eating disorder is about so much more than food and weight.  Although I still fall into the trap of thinking that I am not thin enough (i.e. "sick enough") to continue with treatment, she's there to illustrate to me that there are still many underlying issues that must be resolved.  She knows that I am doing much better physically, but  she also knows that there is still a lot of work that needs to be done emotionally.  I'm not exactly sure where I would be if I did not have her continual guidance, advice, and love.

Teri: Where do I begin?  I cannot say enough about this woman.  Despite only knowing her for about four years, there are no words known to man that can explain what she has done for me.  She has been there for me everyday.  She has helped me fight this battle every step of the way.  As a matter of fact, she helped me get started in treatment (which I am very grateful for).  She's been there herself, and she has been able to talk me through situations based on her own experience.  She always offers a friendly smile that makes my day a little bit brighter.  And on those days when I am ready to give up, she isn't afraid to give me a hug and tell me that things will be alright and that she cares about me.  This woman is the most sensitive, sweet, phenomenal person that I know.  We will continue to battle this illness together.  She is my inspiration.  She gives me the motivation to keep fighting.  Our friendship started solely as a form of support and understanding...but it has blossomed into so much more than that.  The common saying holds true -- "something positive always comes out of something negative."  If I had never fallen into the arms of an eating disorder, God never would've sent Teri my way.  Our common struggle with an eating disorder is what brought us together, but it will not be the only link that holds us together..  She will remain in my heart and on my mind for all eternity.  She is my perfect flower.

Scarlett: I have known her for 6 years.  During that time, she has helped me out so much.  I knew her long before the eating disorder began, but she was there to help me through other difficult times.  She's always willing to make a sarcastic remark just to get me to smile.  She tells me she loves me.  In the past, I had made several unexpected trips over to her house.  And despite the fact that they were totally unexpected visits, she never turned me away...she always welcomed me into her house and would listen to what was on my mind.  I cannot even explain how much that meant to me.  I was just a young teenager at this point.  Maybe 14 years of age. I was lost and confused, yet she was there to guide me along.  She took me under her wing.  She believed in me when I didn't believe in myself.  That, in and of itself, helped me more than she could ever know.  We have shared so much over the last 6 years.  Although she has moved far away from me, we have vowed to keep in touch.  Yes, I cried when I found out she was leaving.  I felt like my heart was being ripped out.  But I was able to realize that the great friendship we established will not diminish because of distance.  I love this woman and I look up to her.  No matter where she goes, I will always remember her.

Kim: Well, I must admit that she is the first one that ever got to see the "true" me.  She is the first one that I ever revealed the "not so pleasant" side of myself to..  Yes, she was the first to ever see how truly depressed I was.  In hindsight, I don't really think that I was depressed, I was more or less just a confused teenager.  But in any case, I could no longer hide it from everyone.  I had to break down and tell someone that I am not perfect and that I hate having to act like I am. I had to tell someone that I am not the "model child" like it seemed to be.  She was the first to make me realize that I had several issues I needed to deal with.  Over the 5 years that I have known her, she has always been the "blunt" and "straightforward" type of person.  If I ask her something, she tells me flat out.  She does not beat around the bush...and although it hurts sometimes, she helps me face reality.  I really do thank her for that.  The truth does hurt...but after all, it IS the truth.

My Parents: Oh boy.  I could go on and on.  They have dealt with so much.  The sleepless nights.  The temper tantrums.  The moodiness.  The irritability.  The "I don't care about anything" attitudes.  The sudden outbursts.  The constant crying.  Having to please MY wishes.  Having to worry about my well-being.  Gosh.  There is so much that I could say, but I don't know how to say it.  Just as my eating disorder is an everyday thing for me, it is an everyday thing for them.  They struggle just as much as I struggle.  I love them with my entire heart.  Although they are not the most undestanding people I know, they try.  Both of my parents have done research on eating disorders in order to understand what I am going through.  They tried to educate themselves by paging through books and by surfing the net.  Through this research, they came to realize that eating disorders are about so much more than making someone eat.  I commend them for their efforts in trying to understand what is going on in my mind, but no one can truly understand unless they have gone through it themselves.  They tell me that they love me and that they are anticipating the day I return to my happy and healthy self.  I must admit that sometimes they do manage to get on my nerves...but whose parents don't!!  They are there for me, and that is all that matters.  As my mother always says..."all I want is for my kids to be happy, healthy, safe and out of trouble."  (*wink*)

SAED: Yes, you girls are next!!!!!  Under Construction.