Bust Up In Town
| Local tabloids have gotten wind of a scandalous story
involving Newtown Celtic players from last weekend. Apparently there was a
mass brawl amongst senior players on Sunday night following a hard days
drinking after the defeat to Nenagh Celtic in the shield that morning. The
row apparently erupted in the very respectable Maximus nightclub, after
new signing Richard Jones criticized the clubs management and training
facilities, describing Barry Park as "like a f*cking car park"
and complaining about the lack of training tops, water bottles and
footballs.
Jones is believed to have been in a very bad mood all day as he is now so ugly and deformed that his girlfriend has refused to sleep with him. Jones went on to say that he had no respect for Newtown PRO The Grunt, as a player, a manager or a man! This provoked the Grunts son, Pat 'Curly' Quigley Jnr, and a number of punches were thrown between the two men. Colm O Brien, who was rotten nearby, was accidentally hit in the face so his best mate in the whole wide world Darren Mitchell jumped in and threatened to "kill all a yeez", and the fight escalated into an all out brawl. Assistant manager Ger McCarthy was quick to deny all rumours but it is believed that Newtown players Colm O Brien, Dick Jones, Curly Quigley, Damien O Brien and Quagmire Brophy were taken away by police and detained overnight, while Jack Barry, Tom Cruise and Mexican born Tan Cleary were escorted off the premises in drunken heaps. The team had been spotted drinking heavily in Barry's all day Sunday, and Barry's have confirmed to paparazzi that alot of tequila was indeed consumed, with the finger of blame being pointed largely in the direction of Chinky Brophy. Club captain Mick Dunne was mysteriously not present and it is believed that some of the players feel that this would never have happened under the leadership of Derek Ryan who remains on a promotional merchandising tour of the USA. |