Season Two
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"Polk Defeats Truman"
Episode #2.06 | Original Airdate 11/16/1999
Written by Jeff Greenstein | Directed by James Burrows | Eric McCormack (Will Truman) | Debra Messing (Grace Adler) | Sean Hayes (Jack McFarland) | Megan Mullally (Karen Walker) | GUEST CAST: Gary Grubbs (Harlin Polk) | Elaine Bromka (Shopper) |
Summary: Will decides to let some of his old clients go after closing a deal for Harlin Polk that gains him a lot of money. But when the deal falls through, Will finds himself out of work and too proud to tell Grace. After running into Harlin, though, Grace finds out, but rather than rub it in his face, she just sits him down and cracks a joke.
Meanwhile, Grace finds out that Karen has cashed all the paycheques Grace has given her. Grace reminds Karen that, since Karen doesn't work, she also doesn't get to cash her paycheques. Karen reveals that Stan put her on a budget after she bought a ski lodge.
Grace decides to help her learn to live within the budget. But after seeing the tacky clothes and bad outlet shops she'd be forced to go to, Karen calls up Stan and threatens to buy a rhinestone studded track suit to wear to boating with the Bronfmans. Seconds later, the budget is off and Karen goes to wait on the roof for the helicopter to pick her up.
Quotes
WILL: "Everybody dance now!" [DANCING AND SINGING] "Dum duh dum duh dowt. Whoo!"
GRACE: "Those hips say someone had a good meeting with Harlin today."
JACK: "That song says somebody hasn't been to a club in about 10 years."
----
GRACE (to KAREN):" You cashed your paychecks? What? Are you insane? I thought we had an understanding: you don't do any work, and in return, you don't cash your paychecks!"
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GRACE: "Stan got upset because you bought a hat?"
KAREN: "Well, the hat was in Geneva, and it wasn't really a hat. It was a ski lodge. Oops."
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KAREN: "He actually expects me to live... on this!" [KAREN GIVES GRACE A PIECE OF PAPER.]
GRACE [SIGHS]: "Karen, I think you can learn to live on this. I mean, Spain does, so..."
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[THE TELEPHONE RINGS. KAREN IGNORES IT.]
KAREN: "Hey, if I'm not gettin' paid--"
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WILL: [INTO PHONE] "Hey, I gotta cancel lunch."
GRACE: [INTO PHONE] "Why? What are you gonna buy now, a goat?"
WILL: [INTO PHONE] "What? Why a goat?"
GRACE: [INTO PHONE] "It was a joke. I mean, it's like you already have everything else, so the only thing left would be...a goat."
WILL: [INTO PHONE] "That isn't really a joke."
GRACE: [INTO PHONE] "Okay, it was a bad joke, Will."
WILL: [INTO PHONE] "No. I gotta say it isn't a joke at all. I mean, it doesn't fit any of the joke criteria. A--it doesn't make sense, and b--there's nothing funny about it."
GRACE: [INTO PHONE] "Okay, we're done with this. Why are you blowing me off?"
WILL: [INTO PHONE] "I mean, maybe the word 'goat' is funny."
GRACE: [INTO PHONE] "Will."
----
GRACE: [INTO PHONE] "I think I liked you better when you were dissing my goat joke."
WILL: [INTO PHONE] "It wasn't a joke. Good-baa-ye."
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GRACE: "Let's talk about clothes. You spent thousands of dollars in the Madison Avenue boutiques. Do you know how much you'd save if you just shopped at that outlet mall in Paramus?"
KAREN: "Hmm. Honey, do you know how many things are wrong with that sentence?"
----
KAREN: "If you expect me to shop out of a bin with a bunch of mall-walking blue-hairs in "I Love Grandma" t-shirts, then you got another thing--"
----
KAREN: "Lordy, lordy, look at all the freaks."
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GRACE: "You got to get in there and sort through the rack."
KAREN: "The what?"
GRACE: "The rack. You heard the expression 'off the rack.'"
KAREN: "I know the expression 'Stan, hands off the rack.' Ha ha ha! Bang bang! Ohh. Even in the Midwest I'm funny."
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GRACE: "I've found some really cute outfits here. I wear them to work, and you tell me how much you hate them. [IMITATING KAREN] Honey, what's going on? What's happening? What's all this about?"
KAREN: "Honey, what's this? What are you doing? Who's that supposed to be?"
----
KAREN [TO A WOMAN PASSING BY]: "Oh, hey, honey! Can we get a couple of shirr dahi salads with honey mustard on the side?"
WOMAN: "I don't work here."
KAREN: "That wasn't my question, was it? Was it?"
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KAREN [ON THE PHONE WITH STAN]: "Stan. Hi, honey, it's me. Yes, I'm at Designer Markdowns in Paramus, uh-huh. Oh, the budget thing's fine. Yeah, I'm just about to buy a rhinestone-studded track suit. I thought I'd wear it when we go boating with the Bronfmans. Mm-hmm. Ok. Ok. Bye-bye. [HANGS UP; TO GRACE] Stan's sending the helicopter. Budget crisis over. Ok, Grace, buy yourself a little ugly for work tomorrow. I'll be on the roof."
----
GRACE: "I ran into Harlin today."
WILL: "Oh? He's still not pulling that practical joke where he pretends like he's fired me? Did he? He's so funny with that."
----
GRACE: "How many gay lawyers does it take to win a case?"
WILL: "How many?"
GRACE: "37. One to win the case and 36 to go out to brunch and trash him. Ahh! Ahh! I see a little smile! I see a little smile! That counts! That makes it official. Joke!"
Did You Notice...
~Karen's line, "Honey, do you know how many things are wrong with that sentence?", is similar to Will's line in "Love Plus One", "There's, like, 18 things wrong with that sentence".
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