A Ranma 1/2 mini-series. A PG-13 rating for language and situations.

This story and a few others can be found on my web page at
http://www.oocities.org/jlfenton65/
jlfenton65@yahoo.com

Ranma 1/2 is a trademark of Viz Communications, Inc. and was created by Rumiko Takahashi.
This story is of my own derivation and is not intended for commercial purposes, so please don't sue me.

Author's Notes: There have been a number of stories like this, mostly lemons. Some seem to be attempts at comedy, but none lived up to the promise, so I dug this out of my old files and polished it up a little.

     Soun sorted through the mail. It was the usual mixture of advertisements and bills for the most part. He examined the lone postcard a little more closely. The front showed a panda chewing on some bamboo; the back was penned in an almost illegible scrawl.

     'Bringing Ranma from China. Saotome.'

     His hands shook as tears ran down his cheeks. "Ranma's coming? Oh, how long I awaited this day!"

     He hurried into the house. He needed to gather his girls and share the wonderful news.

     A strapping young man with black hair pulled into a pig-tail ran down the rain-spattered street. He had a large pack in one hand, and a look of panic on his face. It might have been due to the giant panda racing behind him; the men who turned as the pair raced past could be forgiven the initial assumption. After all, a seven foot giant panda with sharp teeth and long claws would frighten anyone. They could also be forgiven the assumption that the men chasing the pair were trying to help the poor lad. The men had an odd assortment of make-shift weapons: sticks, poles, boards, bats, and the occasional golf club; one had found a pitchfork somewhere. More puzzling were the women who trailed behind the men. They weren't armed and didn't seemed incensed as the men were.

     "FIANCE?!"

     The girls sitting on cushions on one side of the low table looked across at their father.

     Soun nodded. "Yes. He is the son of a very good friend of mine. His name is Ranma; if one of you girls were to marry him and carry on the dojo, the family legacy would be secure."

     Akane leaned forward to get a little more emphasis into her reply. "Now wait a minute! Don't we get a say in who we marry?!" Her anger was evident on her face.

     Kasumi gave her father a mildly irritated look. "She's right, Daddy. We've never even met this Ranma."

     Soun looked at the card. "Well, that's easily fixed."

     The boy came to an intersection and looked frantically back at the panda. "Which way?!"

     The panda stuck a paw to the right and the two turned without breaking stride.

     "Ranma and his father have been on a training trip to make him a Master of The Art. It seems they recently returned from China!"

     Nabiki looked excited. "Wow! China!"

     Akane gave her a disgusted look. "What's so great about going to China?"

     Nabiki ignored her younger sibling, pressing her father for details. "Is he cute?"

     Kasumi still looked irritated. "Is he young? Younger men can be so boring."

     Nabiki pressed on. "What kind of guy is this Ranma?"

     Soun laughed a moment, then sobered instantly. "No idea."

     Nabiki glared at him. "What?!"

     He elaborated. "I've never met the boy."

     Akane blew her stack. "How can you engage us to a boy you never met?!"

     Soun was interrupted by a yell from the front gate.

     "AHHHHHH!!!! Quick, Pop! Lock the gate!!"

     Kasumi no longer looked irritated. She stood, uncertain what to do. "We have visitors!"

     Nabiki stood. "Oooo! It must be Ranma!" She ran toward the entryway.

     Soun stood and followed her. "Saotome! Is that you, old friend? We've been waiting!"

     Nabiki and Soun stopped by the entryway and looked over the boy. Nabiki started drooling as Soun addressed him.

     "You wouldn't happen to be..."

     Ranma looked a bit sheepish. "Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this."

     Soun moved to embrace the lad, but was trampled as Nabiki glomped onto the boy.

     "Thank you Daddy! Mine! I call dibs!!"

     Akane had come up behind her sister, then face-faulted at what she heard. She gave the boy another look. "Are you nuts, Nabiki?! What's so great - about - about - about -" She trailed off as she continued to look at their guest. She failed to notice Kasumi standing next to her with a matching look.

     Kasumi stepped forward and pulled Nabiki away from the boy with almost casual ease. "Now Nabiki, as the oldest, it is my responsibility to uphold the family honor." She gave him a shy smile and a low bow. "Please make yourself at home. Can I be of any service? Do you need anything to eat? I think you'll find my housekeeping skills quite superior to either of my sisters."

     Akane glared at her oldest sister. "Kasumi! He's a guest here!" She smiled at the boy. "Do you want to see my room?" Her look changed to horror. "I mean, the dojo! Yeah! Heh, heh!" She gave him an embarrassed smile.

     Soun still lay on the floor where he had been run over by Nabiki. He looked in shock from one girl to the next. He then looked at the other figure, as yet unnoticed by the girls. His eyes widened as he looked over the giant panda. The thing pulled a sign from behind him.

     'Can I get some hot water?'

     Soun nodded dumbly, pulled himself off the floor, and headed for the kitchen.

     Once more, the girls sat on one side of the table. Soun sat at the head, while the black-haired boy and a portly man with glasses and a bandana covering his bald head sat across from the girls.

     The girls looked equal parts embarrassed, nervous, and angry, with a hint of hunger left from earlier. Nabiki was the first to voice her feelings.

     "Who the hell is this?! And why the hell were we acting the way we were toward this - boy?!"

     Akane looked ready to pound someone at the slightest provocation. Even Kasumi had lost her air of indifference. She had not had any idea she was even capable of acting the way she had earlier; she was scared to even look at the boy.

    Soun cleared his throat, then proceeded with the introductions. "This is my old friend and training partner, Genma Saotome, and his son, Ranma."

     Genma nodded brusquely.

     Ranma raised a hand. "Yo."

     Soun turned slightly to face his girls as he addressed them. "The answer to both your questions are the same: while they were in China, Ranma and his father both picked up curses."

    ~~~~ obligatory flashback ~~~~

     Ranma faced off with his pop across the small pools, perfectly balanced on the thin, bamboo pole. They leapt at the same time, but Ranma had the advantage as he spun in mid-air, then propelled his father toward the water with a kick of his legs. He landed on another pole as he smirked at the pool his pop landed in. His smirk dropped as a large panda burst from the pool.

     "P-p-pop?" He glanced over at the guide.

     The guide provided an explanation, such as it was. "He fall in 'Spring of Drowned Panda!' Is very tragic story about panda who drown there two thousand year ago! Now, whoever fall in pool take body of panda!"

     Unfortunately, while Ranma was listening to the guide, the panda was springing at him with a roar. Caught completely unaware, the boy was sent hurtling into another pool.

     The guide went completely white and screamed. "AAAIIIIIIEEEEE!!!! Not THAT pool!!!"

     Ranma surfaced and frantically checked himself. The way the guide was screaming, he must be hideous! He was still patting himself and not finding anything out of the ordinary.

     The guide looked around. "Quickly!! Young customer must jump in other pool!!" He gestured at the 'Spring of Drowned Girl' next to him. "Here good pool! Anything but that pool!"

     Ranma couldn't find anything out of place as he clambered from the pool. "Huh? What's the problem?"

     The panda walked over and looked the boy over. He growlphed a question at the guide.

     The guide tried to settle down enough to explain. "Young customer fall in most horrible pool in Jusenkyo - 'Spring of Man Drowned by Jealous Boyfriends and Husbands For Being Too Attractive to Women!' Whoever fall in pool become too too attractive to opposite sex!"

     The panda stood for a second, then made a run for the pool. He leapt into the air, tucking his legs up and wrapping his arms around them for a 'cannon-ball' dive. Ranma caught him as he flew past and tossed him away.

     "What the hell are you doing, old man?! Didn't you just hear what he said?!"

     The panda looked at his son angrily.

     The guide looked like he had almost had another heart attack. "Mr. Customer very lucky! This additive pool! If Mr. Customer had jumped in pool, would be attractive only to other panda."

     Ranma burst out laughing, then waved toward the pool. "Go ahead, dive right in! I dare you!"

     The panda swatted the boy on the head. The guide came up behind him and poured hot water from a kettle over the panda. Ranma watched as it morphed back into his pop.

     Genma looked at the guide in pain. "Did it need to be so hot?" He waved off the reply. "Never mind! Can I jump in it now?" He looked greedily at the pool.

     The guide shook his head. "No. Pool not override existing curse. 'Spring of Drowned Boy' is pool you need to remove curse."

     Genma sighed. "Okay. Where's that?"

     The guide hesitated a moment. "Pools normally marked." He gestured at the little signs in Chinese kanji next to some of the pools. "Big storm last month blow down all signs. Not know which it is yet. Will contact Mr. Customer when have located pool." He turned to Ranma. "Please! Young Customer must jump in other pool! Not understand what curse mean!"

     Genma had been thinking. He had done everything he knew to make Ranma a 'Man Among Men.' Knowing Nodoka the way he did, the boy's curse would be the clincher - he could finally return home! "Not a chance! This curse is the best thing that could have happened to the boy." He walked to their packs and hefted his. "Come on, boy! Time to head home."

     Ranma forgot all about the curse as he heard these words. He was going home! He'd finally see his mother again! He scooped up his own pack and hurried after his father.

     The guide sighed in frustration, then followed them. He'd better stay with them until they cleared Amazon territory. It was just as well they were leaving; there was no way he wanted that boy around when his daughter came back from the nearby village.

     ~~~~ end flashback ~~~~

     Soun shook his head sadly. "Until now, the true horror of the legendary ground of accursed springs has remained a mystery."

     Ranma jumped to his feet. "True horror?! I had girls chasing me halfway across China!" He grabbed Genma by the collar. "What's the idea of draggin' me to a place like that, old man?!"

     Genma broke the boy's grip and tossed him in the koi pond. Ranma came back dripping, then splashed his father with a conveniently placed bucket of water. The pair began fighting.

     Soun noticed as the girls stared, drool starting to form again. He grabbed the kettle and doused the pair. They looked at him in irritation.

     The girls shook their heads, trying to clear the lustful thoughts that had been accumulating.

     Genma rounded on his old friend. "The water need only be hot, not boiling!"

     Soun laughed. "Well, I don't think we have a problem then, do we Saotome?"

     Genma laughed and slapped Soun on the back. "Not at all, Tendo! It couldn't be better! Except for my curse, of course."

     Ranma just stared at the pair. "What are you talking about?"

     Soun draped an arm around Ranma's shoulders and steered him back into the house. He gestured at the girls. "This is my oldest daughter, Kasumi. She's nineteen. Then comes Nabiki." He gestured to the short-haired girl. "She's seventeen. Then my youngest, Akane. She's sixteen. Pick the one you like and she'll be your fiancée."

     Akane leapt to her feet. "There's no way I'm marrying some pervert!"

     Ranma boggled. "Exactly how am I a pervert?"

     Akane couldn't very well say it was because of the way he made her feel. "Um... because - you have all those girls chasing after you! You said it yourself!"

     Ranma looked angry. "Hey! I can't help that! It's a curse!"

     Soun looked at Genma. "What do we do? They don't look all that enthusiastic."

     Genma smiled. "I said it was the best thing that could have happened - watch." He poured some water over the boy. The girls went from cringing away from Ranma to hanging all over the boy.

     Akane tried pulling Ranma away. "You heard Daddy! This is to carry on the dojo! I'm the heir to the Tendo School!"

     Nabiki pulled just as hard. "Ha! The way you handle money, it'd go under in a month! I'm the one capable of running the business end!"

     Kasumi merely held the boy as her sisters tried to tear him in half. "I'm the only one around here that can run a household! The two of you would poison him trying to make dinner!"

     Soun watched as his girls fought over the boy, then smiled widely and laughed. "Ah, Saotome. When you're right, you're right! All we need is for the boy to pick one and we can hold the wedding right away!"

     Genma nodded, his smile widening. "I've contacted Nodoka. We can't have her missing her own son's wedding!" He watched his boy and the girls; there was no way Nodoka would think the boy unmanly. That contract was as good as resolved; surely this more than made up for the Cat-Fist training.

End Chapter One

Next chapter: Ranma goes to school, and we learn the unspeakably horrific fate of Ryoga.

More Author's Notes: I think that most folks agree with Ryoga's statement in the Ranma manga - there are worse curses than being a girl. We'll see if that's true.