A Ranma 1/2 mini-series. A mild R rating for language and situations.

This story and a few others can be found on my web page at
http://www.oocities.org/jlfenton65/
jlfenton65@yahoo.com

Ranma 1/2 is a trademark of Viz Communications, Inc. and was created by Rumiko Takahashi.
This story is of my own derivation and is not intended for commercial purposes, so please don't sue me.

     Morning in Nerima found Kasumi busy in the kitchen, preparing breakfast as usual. She enjoyed being up early; it was usually the only peaceful part of the day. Once the others started stirring, kami only knew what craziness would ensue. While it was all very interesting, Kasumi was beginning to understand the curse, may you live in interesting times.

     Today however, Kasumi was not alone in the kitchen; Nabiki sat on the counter, legs crossed at the ankles, nibbling on a carrot swiped from the pile Kasumi was slicing for the day's meals. Nabiki quit munching long enough to point out what was on both girl's minds.

     "This business with Ranma and Akane is getting old." She sighed. "How long must our lives be on hold before those two finally get it together?"

     Kasumi could more than sympathize; at twenty, she wasn't getting any younger. All she wished for was the chance to work things out with a certain young doctor, but that had to wait until Ranma and Akane were settled; the family's honor was resting on that much sought after event. The problem was that the universe itself seemed dead set on preventing the two from ever finding happiness. Kasumi sighed as well. 'Actually', she thought, 'those two seem just as set against finding happiness themselves.' Case in point: the recently failed marriage attempt; things had gone just about as wrong at the wedding after Jusendo as could be expected when dealing with Ranma and Akane.

     Nabiki continued, "I mean, what if I meet someone really wonderful at college this fall and we hit it off?" She noticed Kasumi's look and got irritated. "Hey! It could happen!"

     "I know, I know." She moved back to the stove and added the chopped vegetables to one pot while stirring another. "We need some way to get them to break the ice, to admit to each other what the rest of us have known for a year now."

     Nabiki nodded. "But more importantly, we need to get everyone else out of the way long enough for them to do that. All our previous plans have failed because one of the other girls, or enemies, or even parents stepped in at just the worst moment." She continued, "The problem with that is that everyone realizes they're being gotten out of the way and spoil everything by just not doing what we want." Nabiki mused on it a moment. "What we need to do is make plans for everyone, including Ranma and Akane; that way, no one gets suspicious. Then we make arrangements for just Ranma and Akane's plans to fall through."

     Kasumi nodded her approval. "Sounds good; then what? You know those two won't fall into each others arms just because they're finally alone."

     "Leave that to me." Nabiki kicked one leg while looking off into the distance. "I can get something that'll do just the trick."

     Kasumi glared at her younger sister. "Now, you know how I feel about love potions."

     Nabiki shrugged it aside. "Don't worry. I won't go for anything too exotic. Just enough to break the ice... get them talking instead of fighting."

     Noises from upstairs filtered down through the ceiling. Both girls looked up, then at each other. Nabiki hopped off the counter. "Okay, same time tomorrow to exchange info and ideas."

     Kasumi nodded while finishing breakfast. The ravenous hordes would be down soon, and they expected heaps of food to be waiting.

     The next morning found Kasumi and Nabiki in the kitchen once again. Nabiki was standing at the stove, stirring a pot, while Kasumi mixed some batter at the counter. She turned to face Nabiki, the mixing bowl braced against her while she continue beating it. "Okay, what do you have so far?"

     Nabiki paused in her stirring. "First, the one thing that everything else must be planned to coincide with: Daddy and Mr. Saotome are being taken out by the old lech for panty raids - er, training - in three weeks."

     Kasumi looked thoughtful. "They won't be gone long. Stirring..."

     Nabiki started, then resumed stirring to pot. "We only need an hour. Those three are the hardest to deal with, so everyone else must be worked around their plans." Her stirring slowed as she thought through other things. "The Kunos are away until the end of summer, as usual. Nothing to worry about there."

     "Stirring..."

     Nabiki sped up her stirring.

     "What about Cologne, Shampoo, and Mousse?" Kasumi asked.

     "That's not too much trouble. I've already arranged for one of my contacts to see that their alien residency papers get misplaced. It won't take them long to to clear it up, but they'll have to appear in person, and that'll keep them out of town for at least a couple of days." She looked at her older sister. "What about you? Any ideas on some of the others?"

     "I was thinking of giving Ukyo's folks a call, hinting that she's feeling homesick. There's nothing like parents to screw up a weekend." She smiled at the thought.

     "But suppose she won't go there to visit? That they come down here?"

     Kasumi gave her sister a knowing look. "If she won't go visit them, and they come to visit her instead while Ranma is out of town, what do you think she's going to do?"

     Nabiki waggled the spoon she had been stirring with at Kasumi. "Sometimes, you are just downright devious... I like that."

     "Stirring..."

     Nabiki quickly stuck the spoon back in the pot and started stirring briskly. "Okay, what about Ryoga?"

     "Easy, invite him over the day we want it all to go down. Be sure to tell him not to be late."

     Nabiki had to laugh at that one. "Okay, okay. Now we can't send Ranma and Akane off together or everyone will simply chase after them. I happen to know there's a pop idol Akane has been dying to go see. She has several concert dates around the week in question. Once we get a firm date, I'll make sure Akane gets a ticket and a ride that's guaranteed to break down before even getting out of town." Nabiki snickered a bit. "She'll owe me for the ticket even though she doesn't get to use it."

     Kasumi whacked Nabiki on the head with her spoon. "Nabiki! Do you always have to be so conniving?"

     Nabiki rubbed her head. "You're no fun at all sometimes."

     "Stirring..."

     Nabiki resumed stirring, grumbling under her breath.

     "What, Nabiki dear?"

     "Nothing, Kasumi dear."

     Kasumi smiled. "I have a task all lined up for Ranma; there's a certain tome Tofu-san has wanted for some time. I located a copy down in Yokohama; it's easy to find, but I'll leave out a few pertinent details when I talk to Ranma to make it seem like more of a challenge. He'll be back in a few hours, not days."

     "You do remember that this is Ranma we are talking about?"

     "Of course! I've already arranged for a friend of mine to personally hand the book to him as he gets off the train."

     "And this person will recognize him...?"

     "In both forms. I took the precaution of sending her pictures of both Ranma's forms; I told her that either of the two may show up looking for the book."

     Nabiki nodded. "Okay, what about us?"

    "What about us? With everyone else gone, we're just going to work on our own personal lives; in a sense, that's just what we're doing too." She now looked a little hesitant. "Did you, um, get... the stuff?"

     Nabiki gave her best 'no problem' look. "I've got a line on a compound that'll be just the thing." She held up both hands reassuringly, "Don't worry. Nothing dangerous or freaky or permanent, just something to help them loosen up a little."

     "Stirring..."

     Nabiki went back to stirring the pot. "How long do I have to stir this thing anyhow?"

     Shouts from upstairs followed by a loud thump and a shudder drew both girl's attention.

     "About thirty more seconds." Kasumi estimated.

     Akane went to answer the door; that wasn't very hard as said door was now lying on the floor a few feet from where she stood. She wrinkled her nose, 'Shampoo', she thought disgustedly.

     The aforementioned girl was now stalking around the house calling "Airen?" She stopped in front of Akane. "Where violent kitchen-destroyer hide Shampoo's airen?"

     Akane rolled her eyes. "He's not here."

     "Not here?" Cologne hopped on her stick up next to Shampoo. "Great-granddaughter wishes to see her husband before we leave."

     Kasumi appeared like magic behind Akane, who jumped a foot, "I sent him down to Yokohama for a book for Dr. Tofu. He'll be gone a few days."

     Shampoo looked suspiciously at Akane. "Then why kitchen-destroyer still here?"

     Akane bristled as red-ki energy outlined her body. "Me go with that baka for a few days alone? I wouldn't spend a few minutes with him!"

     Kasumi sighed. This morning's fight had been particularly bad. Ranma had suggested Akane skip seeing 'that karaoke club reject' and accompany him on his trip. When he finally landed, he found himself only a few yards from the train station.

     "Akane's going to a concert." She told the two Amazons. "What did you mean by leave?" she asked Cologne.

     "Nothing big." She answered. "Just some paperwork that needs person attention." She sighed; 'gods how I miss home.' she thought. 'These Japanese are fanatics on keeping their silly paperwork straight.'

     "We'll drop by when we return."

     "I'll let Ranma know if he's back by then." Kasumi gave one of her trademark smiles. "Have a nice trip; I hope everything turns out okay."

     Cologne hopped out the door; Shampoo glared at Akane for a moment, then followed her.

     Akane relaxed and turned to Kasumi. "With Daddy and Mr. Saotome gone, and me and Ranma out of town, what are you and Nabiki going to do?"

     Kasumi laughed lightly, "Relax finally! Seriously, I may try to have dinner with Tofu-san." She shrugged, "I have no idea what Nabiki has planned, but I'm sure she'll find something to keep herself occupied."

     "Yeah." Akane replied. "That's what worries me."

     They both laughed. Kasumi gave Akane a gentle hug.

     "I know you're not a little girl anymore, but do be careful Akane, and have a good time."

     Akane just smiled. "I already have a few things packed." She gestured at the bag next to where the door lay. "I'm looking forward to a little 'me-time' myself. Now don't you and Tofu-san get too carried away." She leered a little at her oldest sister.

     "Akane! I'm shocked! You know I never get carried away." She was laughing just the same.

     A car horn sounded. "That's my ride! See ya!" Akane hugged Kasumi once more, grabbed the bag, and bounced out the door.

     Nabiki came up behind Kasumi. "Wow, I'm slightly surprised! Everything's going according to plan for a change."

     Kasumi headed for the kitchen. "I'll start dinner."

     "What are you making?"

     Teriyaki stir-fry."

     "Isn't that Akane's favorite? I thought you might put on Ranma's."

     "Now why would I do that? You know Ranma will eat anything I've cooked. I want to make sure Akane feels like eating as well." She looked at Nabiki. "Only getting to one of them won't bring the desired result."

     Nabiki thought it over. "True enough."

     "By the way, do you know whether Ryoga is out of town?"

     Nabiki laughed. "Yeah! It worked great! I told him yesterday to be here early or he'd miss seeing Akane off to her concert. Last I heard from my sources..." she looked at her watch, "about forty-five minutes ago, Ryoga was wandering around Osaka."

     Kasumi chuckled a bit. "Good! One less worry. Ukyo called about an hour ago from her folks place. She's already bored to tears, but when I told her Ranma would be in Yokohama for a few days, she mumbled something about 'baka fiancés' and said to give everyone her love."

     Kasumi and Nabiki were almost through their dinner when Akane stormed in. The newly rehung door slammed open; they could hear her stomp all the way upstairs to her room, followed by a piercing "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!"

     Moments later, a dejected Akane flopped down across from Nabiki at the table; she just stared at it until Kasumi spoke.

     "Akane? What happened to your concert?"

     All they got from the other side was some muttering. "... piece of junk car... walking... tired and hungry..."

     Kasumi got up walked around the table and patted her on the shoulder. "I'm so sorry! I'll just put some food on to warm; you'll feel better after eating." She walked back to the kitchen.

     Just then, Ranma stalked in. He came up to the table and thunked a large tome down on it; everyone flinched at the sound. He looked rather disgusted. "Some damn quest! Never even got outta the station!" He flopped down next to Akane and suddenly perked up. "Hey! Food!" He made a stab at Nabiki's plate, which she adroitly moved away from his reach.

     "Kasumi is heating something up. You can just wait for your own plate."

     Akane gave Ranma a furious glare, got up, and walked over to the kitchen. Inside, she saw Kasumi heating a large pan of stir-fry; Kasumi took one of the spice containers and measured out a tiny amount with one of her smallest measuring spoons. She hummed to herself as she stirred it into the food.

     'Agh!' Akane thought. 'She knows I like my stir-fry hotter than that!' Kasumi left the kitchen a moment to welcome Ranma and retrieve the book. Akane sidled into the kitchen, knowing how the others felt about her being anywhere near that particular room in the house. She picked up the box Kasumi had used. 'Now I know I'm not using the wrong ingredient... I just saw Kasumi use this and she never adds in the wrong thing,' she thought wryly. She picked up the measuring spoon Kasumi had used and considered the pan before her. 'Ah, the hell with it!' She put down the measuring spoon and just shook the the box over the pan. 'I like it hot!' At that, most of the contents fell into the pan. 'Ack!' She stirred it a bit, then sniffed the fumes coming out of the pan. 'Smells okay; can't have done that much harm.' She eased back into the dining room, glad that no one seemed to have noticed where she had been.

     Ranma was currently trying to get Kasumi's plate. Akane pulled out her mallet and laid him flat. "You can just wait, you greedy pig!" Akane seated herself in her usual spot.

     "It should be warm by now," Kasumi rose to her feet. "I'll just bring out a couple of plates." She winked to Nabiki who steadfastly ignored everything going on.

     Kasumi returned with two large heaping plates of stir-fry. She set them in front of the couple.

     Ranma dug into his plate with his usual abandon. Akane watched a moment, then gave a sigh of relief and started on her own. 'Wow!' she thought. 'This is great! I'll have to ask Kasumi what that spice was. It really brings out the flavor.'

     Ranma paused just long enough to ask, "Not that I'm complaining, but why did you make so much?"

     Kasumi smiled sweetly. "I figured I'd put most of it away for later so I could have some free time. How do you like it?"

     "It's the best ever!"

     Akane sniffed at that and turned up her nose, but she noticed she was eating nearly as fast as Ranma. 'My! I know I was hungry, but this is ridiculous.' She tried to slow down, then gave up and returned to wolfing down the contents of her plate.

     Said plate was now cleaned off and Akane sat back, sipping the tea Kasumi had just poured. "Thanks, Kasumi. That really was fantastic."

     Kasumi beamed at the compliment.

     "Yeah." Ranma piped up. "Now if only you could learn to cook like that!" he seemed a bit wistful.

     Akane would normally at this point pull forth her mallet and use it on Ranma like a meat tenderizer; Kasumi held her breath and waited, but when the wait was over, the result was anything but normal.

     Akane burst into tears. "I-I-I'm sorry Ranma! I try, but I guess I'm j-just not g-g-good enough."

     Kasumi and Nabiki would have fallen except for the fact that they were already seated. Now, it's a proven fact that their jaws could not actually hit the floor... the table was in the way.

     What happened next put both girls in a catatonic state.

     Ranma took Akane in his arms, her head cradled to his shoulder. "Don't cry Akane! I'm sorry! I'm such an idiot. Please! I love you!"

     Both girls now fell over completely.

     Akane looked up at Ranma, tears running down her cheeks. "You love me?"

     "More than life itself! More than all the money in the world! More than - than - than," he struggled to find something big enough. "More than Kasumi's cooking!"

     "Oh! Ranma!"

     Akane and Ranma kissed, long, slow, savoring every moment. The world ceased to exist around them.

     Kasumi and Nabiki overcame their shock, and using each other for support, managed to sit upright once more. Seeing Akane and Ranma locked in a passionate kiss, they grinned at each other. 'Mission accomplished.'

     After a few minutes of continuous caressing, Nabiki had to speak up. "Hate to break this up, love birds, but some of us would like to keep our dinner in its proper place."

     Akane and Ranma stopped kissing, but didn't release one another. They looked across at Kasumi and Nabiki as if seeing them for the first time. Never releasing each other, they staggered to their feet and headed towards the stairs, once more locking lips and stumbling over everything between the dining room and the stairs. They eventually made it up the stairs after a few close calls, and shortly, Kasumi and Nabiki heard Akane's door slam open and shut again.

     Kasumi let out the breath she had been holding. "Well, that went pretty well. I just hope it's enough to settle their feelings for each other."

     Nabiki looked up towards the ceiling; a faint squeaking could be heard. "Oh, I'd say it's about as settled as you can get."

     They both continued to sip their tea. Eventually, the squeaking got louder and moans could now be heard.

     Kasumi reddened. "My, that compund was certainly - effective."

     Nabiki smirked at her. "Yeah, maybe you should use some in that dinner you're planning for Tofu-san."

     Kasumi got even redder.

     Some time later, the squeaking became a loud banging, the moans now shouts of ecstasy.

     Kasumi frowned at her sister. "I thought you said that potion would just break the ice."

     Nabiki frowned back. "Just how much did you use in that pan?"

     "Exactly the amount you said to use... one quarter of one teaspoon." She got up and retrieved the box from the kitchen; said box seemed quite a bit lighter to Kasumi. She sat next to Nabiki and opened it - it was nearly empty.

     Both girls stared, then raised their stare to the ceiling.

     In Akane's room, the couple in the bed had long since passed the point of passion, passed the point of ecstasy, and were well on their way toward a new level that had no name as none had ever reached it before. Their ki had risen and flowed around each other, much as did their bodies. The interaction of their ki was building to a level greater than any attack Ranma had ever used, even when battling Saffron. Things reached a climax - both figurative and literal.

     Downstairs, Kasumi and Nabiki both continued to stare at the ceiling, open-mouthed, as plaster was falling in places and lights swayed. A split-second of silence preceded an explosion that tore the roof off the house; all the upstairs walls burst, and the second floor fell to the first in the vicinity of Akane's room. Plaster filled the air in a choking cloud, and small fires burned here and there. Kasumi and Nabiki still sat at what was left of the table, covered in plaster dust. They blinked to clear their eyes, and as the dust settled, they could see that Akane's bed now occupied a place in the living room; it was clearly 'ground zero' of the explosion. Two figures now slept there, a happy look on both faces.

     Kasumi was the first to find her voice, and what else was there to say?

     "Oh, oh my."

Author's Notes: I don't really have any idea what Akane's favorite dish is... seeing how popular stir-fry dishes are, it's a good guess. I figure it's probably something like koyadofu itame (tofu stir-fry); add a little mirin (sweet cooking wine) to the basic recipe to make it a teriyaki stir-fry. Akatogarashi (Japanese dried red chile pepper) is a popular spice for making dishes like stir-fries hotter; it is supposed to be used in "modest" amounts. Given the quantity Kasumi adds to the stir-fry, that is what Akane assumes her to be adding. She's not an idiot, so when she spills most of the spice box into the dish, she let's Ranma try it first; she never tastes her own cooking, which is part of the problem she has in making edible dishes. When Ranma doesn't keel over, she tries it herself and discovers that it wasn't really akatogarashi (lucky for her), but something else entirely (unlucky for her). She resolves to ask Kasumi about it at some future time, but for some strange reason, never brings up the subject again. You can find good books on Japanese cooking anywhere; my current favorite is "The Japanese Kitchen" by Hiroko Shimbo.