The Unfortunate Wizzie
There once was a Wizard who searched far and wide
For a Genuine "Lady" to stand by his side.
At last he found one that quite fit the bill
And he courted and married a girl from the Lysierian Hills.

At the wedding the wizzie made one big mistake,
'Twas not in omitting the wine, nor the cake.
The ring was well chosen, and no one was bored.....
     But he didn't ask what she meant by "Dance of the Sword!"

That night in their chambers the lady arose,
And began to prepare to retire in repose.
The husband sat near her, admiring the charms,
That gave him such pleasure to hold in his arms.

She doffed off her surcoat of white, to reveal,
A belt that was lit'rally dripping with steel!
And the rose in his cheek quickly grew very faint:
When he saw they were live blades, an not wood-and-paint!

She went to the mirror to take off her belt
And saw in reflection how her husband felt.
Said she "don't be frightened or shiver in dread...
For I'll only wear two when we get into bed.

She took twenty more from her boots and her hair
Then proceeded to doff a gown so fair,
And her trembling husband got quite a surprise
For beneath it she wore chain-mail made to her size!

Now for all you Wizards who would marry for life,
Be sure you examine your Warrior Wife.
Don't be like the turkey who trusted his eyes
And a little bit later got quite a surprise!



                                         The Bard Lyricaen
                                         Not to be trusted as a Matchmaker...