by Joseph Anderson

Sequel, sort of, to The Great Goddess.

Warning: Devout Christians might not want to read this story. Nothing bad but it's not exactly reverent. I wrote it around Christmas but actually had qualms about offending people. I've gotten over them.

No copyright infringement is intended with this story. Though I think laying claim to a humorous take on Aphrodite might be a hard case to make.

"That is so RAD! I love it!"

Aphrodite was smiling looking up at Notre Dame in Paris. She was dressed like a medieval serving girl so she could appear to mortals and not attract attention.

A priest noticed her and approached her. "My child, is the first time you have seen the great house of Our Lady?"

Aphrodite looked at him. He was sincere but also wanted in her pants; just her kind of priest. "Yeah, one of my brothers said I had to come see this. That it would blow me away. He was right. Wow! How long did it take to put up?"

The priest warmed to his subject, seeing how devout though ignorant the girl was. He imagined her breasts. "Hundreds of years. The entire city, from the king and his nobles to the lowest peasants, contributed to it. To honor the Glorious Queen of Heaven."

Aphrodite whistled. "She appreciates it! Lemme tell ya! Tell ya what, how does Paris, City of Love sound to ya? All over the world people will think of Paris as a place of romance and love."

The priest was a little taken aback but charmed by her naivete. He smiled, "I think that sounds marvelous, child."

She nodded decisively. "Yeah, sounds good to me too. Nobody ever said the Goddess of Love was unappreciative. Not like some of 'em. Where would they be without worshipers, huh? Hanging around flexing for each other, bored outta their friggin' minds, that's where."

The priest felt he had to say something. "Child, God loves you.."

She snorted "I'll say!"

"You must show more respect," he said firmly.

Aphrodite studied him with a twinkle in her eyes. "Oh right, Appy said everybody was real uptight. That they'd split me in two. I blame those desert loonies. Why would anybody listen to 'em? Beats me. They couldn't get laid so decided no one else should either. Mortals are such sheep. Somebody comes along with the right emaciated look and wild eyes and you just fall in line. You really need us to keep you from sticking your heads so far up your own butts you can't pull 'em out." She put a finger in her mouth pushing against her cheek, and made a popping sound as she pulled it out.

"That's enough!" the priest said, really angry now. He gave her a disapproving gaze and marched off. He looked back at her. "I will pray for you. You don't know any better." The girl grinned and blew him a kiss. He said, "Consider the Merciful Lamb of God who died for your sins." He walked off.

Aphrodite frowned at his parting shot. That kind of brought her down. She'd had misgivings all along about that little production. Looking back up at the cathedral she supposed it had worked out. That kind of tragic stuff really got mortals wound up and motivated 'em. It sure wasn't anything she was in any hurry to repeat though. She'd manifested as human and lived out the whole thing, bawling her eyes out at her kid up on that cross. Cupid still didn't like to talk about it. She shivered remembering. It was as bad as when Osiris was dismembered. As Isis she had to go around gathering up the pieces.

Father Germaine tried to put that profane serving girl out of his mind as he entered the cathedral. He had duties to perform. A blinding light shone on him and he froze and looked up. Before him hovering a few feet off the ground and emanating light was a young woman dressed modestly in an ancient manner. She smiled at him. The priest fell to his knees. "Oh, blessed Mary, blessed Mother of God!" He felt the warmth of her divine love envelop him then she disappeared. She seemed oddly familiar to him.