Better Left Forgotten
"You mustn’t stray too far, Ruby. Nor be gone beyond sunset. There are chores to be done, and—"
"Oh, mama, look at me! Look at me!"
Miata tried to escape the horrible memory, to keep it from happening, but she was trapped. She had just been a little girl…her mother had no right…
Good-bye, Miata." The mother’s voice was stern, and Miata knew she had to run, or face a scolding. She moved stubbornly, kicking up dust with her steps, until she came to the north edge of the Forest of Songs—the cold edge, where there was a sudden change in temperature. Inside the forest it was as warm as a pleasant autumn day—outside there was a blizzard. Miata’s mother had told her to never leave the forest. There was good reason for that—no creature in the Forest of Songs could hurt a Byrde—but her curiosity was stronger than her will to be obedient, and she stepped out into the snow…
"Stop," she murmured. "Go back, you’ll—"
"Miata? Wake up!" Someone was shaking her. "You obviously aren’t all right, but just how not all right are you?"
"Oh." Her voice came out as little more than a whisper. "A dream—"
"What is this place?" Clef wanted to know.
"My home."
"It feels different, somehow," Clef said. "I can’t place it…"
"You are in the one place in Cephiro where the Pillar holds no sway," Miata explained. "Her prayers do not affect this place."
"I never knew such a place existed," Clef replied.
"And that’s something you shouldn’t know, but you must. For now, at least."
"I don’t understand any of this."
"That’s because you’re drunk. And drugged." Miata looked up at one of the trees that towered over them. "Would you—no, don’t say that, I’m sorry. I just had to leave the forest or I’d go crazy." She looked apologetically at Clef. "Plants. Always rooted in one place, they don’t understand a person’s need to move around. Either that or they become jealous. That oak over there has a particularly nasty streak."
"What are you talking about?" Clef asked, knowing it was more that simple inebriation that caused his swimming head. This was all too strange! One moment they had been in the palace courtyard, the next in this unfamiliar forest—
And Miata was acting as if nothing strange had happened. And talking to plants! It all gave him a headache.
"It’s—it’s the way of this place," Miata said softly. "The Forest of Songs, for centuries the domain of the Byrde. Most of these trees are thousands of years old, and more intelligent than most people."
"Well, after that, I guess they’re entitled to it, eh?" Clef tried to smile, but he still felt as if he were sick. "So, we’re safe here?"
"No one can enter here without me knowing and allowing them to do so. I am sure of this. We are safe."
"That’s right," Clef sighed, his voice sleepy. "That’s what this place is like. It just—it feels like you."
Miata blushed, taken by surprise. "I—what do you mean?"
"I mean, it has the same sort of…I don’t know. It feels the way you do. I can’t put words to it."
"You’re a drunken idiot," Miata replied, turning her back on him.
"No use arguing with you," Clef sighed. "You always have your way."
"Only when I am right!" Miata defended herself, looking back at him. "You’re sleepy and you’re drunk. You cannot be trusted to say reliable things!"
"Maybe not." Clef was smiling, which confused Miata even further. "You would not argue if you were not right."
"Clef, I—" She stopped herself abruptly. "It’ll never work out. I—I really am sorry. You need to get some rest."
"You should get some sleep as well," Clef replied. Miata laughed.
"I don’t think I can sleep tonight," she told him. Clef tried to protest, but she cut him off. "No. You will sleep. I’ll be fine, and so will you." She turned to look sharply at the stately maple she had spoken to earlier. "Keep an eye on him!"
Then, all of a sudden, she was gone.
The water was so still it could have been ice; one would have taken it for such, as it was surrounded by snow.
Miata knew it was not frozen, but she still felt odd as she dove in. Her clothes lay folded on the shore of the lake, protected from the driving snow by a simple spell she’d placed on them. She didn’t need to worry about wild animals—nothing was alive so far north as she was.
Except for me. The water was warm—it was intended as a bath, to cleanse those who wished to approach what was on the other side. And also a test—but that test Miata has passed many years ago. She shivered at the memory.
I’m lucky to be alive. But she could not dwell on that now; rather, she swam quickly for the opposite bank. Finally she reached it, and as she raised out of the water, it cloaked her in shining fabric—
And she yelped as she saw her reflection. She wore the Byrde’s dress—her mother might not have been the only one to wear it, she tried to rationalize herself. But to see herself in the red dress that her mother had always worn—the resemblance was jarring, as if she looked at her mother across many years.
"I only wanted you to be happy—Ruby."
It was her imagination—the powers around the Cathedral made strange things happen. She had only been there once before, but the memory—
NO! It was all a long time ago—things were not the same…
She laid her hands gently on the Cathedral doors, and they swung open with eerie silence. There was no way human hands could move those doors—they looked like blocks of carved jade, twice as tall as she was and at least a foot thick. The design was of three women on one door, the three Mashin on the other. The Magic Knights, the Legendary Battle which was to come all too soon—
And yet, not soon enough.
It was hard to believe anyone could have actually lived in the awesome structure, the Crystalline Cathedral of the Pillars. The building was so awe-inspiring she didn’t understand how it could have been designed for everyday use. But this was the place where the pillars were born—as much as one could say that they were born. It was also where her long-dead ancestor had lived, a renegade priestess who set up her own fortress, the Forest of Songs, to protect the Cathedral. She did this rather than give up her own life and individuality to become a part of the structure and guide one Pillar for the good of all of Cephiro. But her loneliness had been her downfall, the first of the line of Byrde. Loneliness was the destiny of all who followed, until the Legendary Battle—
And the Return. When a child born of both Pillar blood and human would come to the Cathedral and put a permanent end to the age of the Pillars. Only this part of the Legend had been completely forgotten, except to the Pillars themselves—and the Byrdes. They could forget nothing.
No matter how much they might like to…
There had always been mischief in Aurora’s dark eyes. She was the youngest ever to be named a priestess of the Crystalline Cathedral—and many regretted her induction. They only saw the flirtatious prankster she appeared to be on the outside, rather than the mature woman within. She looked like a child, but within her was a too-mature soul, the result of a childhood much too cruel that forced one to grow up quickly—or be destroyed.
So was it any wonder that she tried to make up for that lost childhood? Others did not see it as such, though, and they made their disapprobation known. She was irresponsible, they said, not trustworthy. Aurora paid little attention to their criticism, or at least it seemed that way. No one’s opinion had any effect on her.
Not outwardly, anyway.
But some arguments were valid—people came more and more to the Cathedral, their desires more and more selfish. They began to depend on the Cathedral, rather than solving their problems for themselves, and the Priests and Priestesses became overworked. They needed all the help they could get—and Aurora’s appearances were… sporadic, to say the least.
Her argument? "If it were important, I’d be there!" Which was true. When someone came with an important problem only a Priest or Priestess could solve, she would do anything in her power to be there. But when the problem did not meet her standards of "important", Aurora was nowhere to be found. At first, she was glad to hear the Cathedral was going to do something about the problem.
Then she found out what was going to be done.
Aurora was skipping another session, trying to decide what she would do. She could not give up her life now—it had been too short, too sad! She would not join the others in their plan to become one with the Cathedral itself, and their creation of one leader—they called this theoretical person a "Pillar"—was destined to fail. When she had pointed this out though, she was told that the system would fail when the people were ready to go back to the old ways, when people could take care of themselves and the Priests and Priestesses of the Cathedral provided only minimal support. Aurora complained that no one would be able to kill a pillar in the system they had planned—but they had replied that the magic of the Cathedral was powerful enough to summon three people from another world to take care of that job. Aurora was disgusted--she refused to take part in the construction of the Mashin, and she cried when the new jade doors were unveiled.
Aurora knew that over the years of being a Priestess of the Cathedral, she would slowly lose her humanity—everything but devotion to the Cathedral and the people of Cephiro was eventually lost. However, she was not only the youngest Priestess, but also the newest—making her the most human. The two Priestesses who had been inducted before her, Cressida and Emeraude, also had doubts about becoming a part of this new system, but they finally chose to become part of the system. Aurora was the only one who held out.
The Pillar would have to bear the spirit of a Priest or Priestess, who would have no memory of their former life during their term as Pillar. They assumed that the end of the Age of the Pillars would come soon, that people would learn to take care of themselves within a few centuries. Then the Cathedral would be awakened.
Aurora still didn’t like it. She knew there must be a better way, something else that she could do.
Miata blinked. She had known the Cathedral could do strange things, bring about strange visions—but that was like she’d just spent weeks in another person’s body! And now she was blinking again—
Aurora stood before the High Council, the smile on her face triumphant. She had her solution—to not become a part of the Cathedral, but rather to protect it, until the end of the Age of Pillars. She could still bear children, which the Pillars could not—and she promised that her children, and their children after them, would guard the Cathedral as long as need be. They would also be able to test those who would approach the Cathedral to determine their worthiness.
When she left the Cathedral, trees sprouted beneath her feet. The land where she walked was attuned to her, and only her—it was a part of Cephiro only in name, for even the new Pillar created by the Cathedral could not enter the Forest of Songs without Aurora’s permission. She bid her friends good-bye, and watched the age of the Pillars begin—
But she never, in her long life, found love. It was not until she grew old that she gave birth to a daughter, but it was too late. Loneliness drove her sanity out of her grasp, and Aurora died alone.
"The price of clinging to one’s own selfish desires at the expense of the world," the walls seemed to whisper all around her.
"So why should her descendants be punished in the same way?" Miata demanded. Her cry echoed on the glass-smooth walls.
"She promised her children her same fate." The voice of the Cathedral was many voices speaking at once, ringing with the crystal of its walls. It was both musical and discordant—it made her want to tune it, somehow.
"Why must everyone in connection with this place be doomed to a life alone?" Miata demanded. "The Pillars, the Byrde—"
"Only in total isolation can a Pillar truly pray for the entire world," the Cathedral replied. "But you know that this time is coming to an end. Soon Emeraude will summon the Magic Knights, and end the Age of the Pillars. And the Cathedral shall Awaken."
"But what will it do to Cephiro? Already, the weakening of the Pillar’s power is causing trouble. This land is no longer peaceful. How long will it be until it is turned into a living hell?"
"The people are strong, now. They will survive."
"But at what cost? Is there no better way?" She shook her head, disgusted. "I see why Aurora had so little to do with you."
"Do as she promised, so long ago, and you will be rewarded." The Cathedral buzzed with many individual voices, a low whine that hurt Miata’s ears.
"With what? What do you consider important? Maybe you were individuals once, but you’re not anymore—you’re just some—some thing, the kind of thing that counts people as numbers, the kind that has no feeling beyond the ‘greater good’—no prize can repay what you owe me, what you owe to all those who went before me." She spat on the perfect crystal floor.
"It will still be there for you to claim, when you need it."
Miata changed the subject. "And Guru Clef. What about him?"
"That is not for us to say," the Cathedral replied, with no emotion. Of course there were no feelings left in the structure. "You must speak to Emeraude about his fate."
The mention of Emeraude made her realize there were now two conflicting images of the Pillar in her head—the girl she had grown up beside while training with Cressida, and a young woman, a friend, who was torn between staying with her and going to the Cathedral. Cressida was a similarly split image—
"Emeraude—you mean—" gasped Miata.
"We have each taken our turn as Pillar," the voices of the Cathedral explained. "She was the youngest, and now, she is the last. And she was the least of the—"
"The least what? The least brainwashed into your scheme? That’s why she’s fallen in love! And Cressida—she loved Ferio’s father, I know she did!"
"She has no memory of her first life. No Pillars do during their lifetime—they only know where we are to be found."
"My friends…" Miata’s fists were clenched, though she didn’t know—there was no one tangibly available to punch.
"She is Aurora all over again." This was only a single voice, rather than the many that composed the Cathedral’s voice.
"I’m not Aurora, I’m Miata!" she cried.
"Indeed you are." This was another voice, a familiar one. The speaker took form before her—still somewhat transparent, but solid enough that Miata felt more comfortable in being able to talk to someone, rather than just the air.
But that form—
"It really is me, Miata," Cressida said. "And you are really you, though you were Aurora at one time."
"I…I don’t understand…" Miata replied.
"We change a great deal when reborn—I can never be the same Cressida that you were friends with as Aurora. But yet, the friendship remained, despite the many changes—at least, I believe it did."
"You were my only friend in the world, and you abandoned me," Miata accused.
"You never were one for attracting many friends," Cressida replied. "More for getting into trouble."
"Cressida, I never told you—your son—"
"Yes…Ferio…" Cressida got a sad look in her eyes. "Emeraude tells me about him. He asked her to erase all his memories of her."
Miata looked away. "Yes…he didn’t want to be a burden. He’s been gone for some time, now."
"I’m sure he’s grown up strong. Maybe he has become a swordsman…like his father."
"Who was his father?" Miata asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. Cressida smiled mysteriously.
"I will not tell you," she said. "Instead, I ask you—how is Guru Clef?"
Miata felt her face grow hot. "He’s inside the Forest of Songs. I had to take him there," she added quickly and apologetically, "to save his life. There were no other options."
"There’s no problem. He must be protected, to train the Magic Knights. And you, Miata, must teach him."
"Me? But how am I supposed to know what he has to do? You never taught me—"
"No, I didn’t teach you that. But someone else did, and if you look far enough back in your memory, you’ll find the answer."
Miata closed her eyes, reaching back into her memory. All of a sudden, all the thoughts that had been settling in her mind’s waters were swirling up to the surface.
My mother…
Mother abandoned me! So did Cressida!
I don’t have anyone!
The first voice to confront her within her mind was that of her mother…
*Come back soon, my Ruby*
She was singing—and then she—I thought the rope was for a swing—
Then there was Cressida’s voice…
—Protect him…the Guru…Clef—
She left me, too—no one can ever stay with me—
Each hurt her, but the third blow cut her even more deeply, as she struggled to deny it.
~We both know this~
NO!
~I’m going to stop denying it~
NO!
~I think I’m in love with you…~
MOTHER! What can I do?
*You should know by now.*
But…I can’t…