First the disclaimer thing. The characters of Fushigi Yuugi are not mine. They belong to Watase Yuu, and various other companies. Story not written for profit.
That night, continuing on a theme. Implied yaoi.
"It was Kouji, wasn't it no da?"
"Huh?" said Tasuki blearily, pulling his mind from the edge of sleep. The supernaturally normal day had taken a sudden turn for the worse, presenting them with one of those summer squalls that blows up out of nowhere, knocks you off your feet, and rains on your parade. And what a parade it had been.
Tasuki had been especially unfond of the ending, which involved their hurried arrival at a crowded inn, with one available room. Chichiri hadn't said anything, but Tasuki knew from the look on his face he was seriously considering finding shelter elsewhere. Given the earlier topic of conversation, Tasuki could understand why, if not exactly sympathize.
"It was Kouji, right no da?"
"#%$^-ing what was Kouji?" said Tasuki, with some irritation. All he wanted to do was sleep. A long walk on a dusty, hot day followed by a cold dousing, was not his idea of a fun day.
"You know ... the one that made you think of that particular scenario, no da."
"What @#&^%-ing scenario?"
Chichiri glanced over at the shadow that was Tasuki, wondering if he was playing with him, or he really didn't understand. In the darkness of the room it was easier to say; not having to see Tasuki's face, not having to hide his own reactions. It was a strange combination of intimacy and distance, feeling easier with the other seishi, closer to him, but with the reassurance of distance and anonymity.
"The one that you suggested about ... the one about friends who misunderstand a friendship."
Tasuki blinked a few times. He was pretty sure that wasn't the way he had put it. Hmph. Too bad I didn't think of putting it that way. Guess that's why he's the monk and I'm not. "Huh? What would Kouji have to do with friends that ... oh. No, no, not him. Really #$%#%-ing not him."
"Well you acted as if you'd been in that situation before no daa ..."
Tasuki's voice was flat and emotionless. "I have."
"If not Kouji, then who no da?"
"You, Chichiri."
"NANI???" Chichiri almost shrieked, bolting upright in bed. There was a moment of absolute silence before he heard a dry chuckle.
"It was a joke, Chichiri. Go to sleep."
"Not funny, Tasuki-kun! Not funny at all!" Chichiri could almost see the bandit's smirk as he rolled over. He stayed upright for a few more minutes, listening to the small sounds Tasuki made in the dark, listening to hear if he'd say anything else. When he didn't, the monk lay back down, pulling up the coverlet.
Hours later Chichiri still lay there in the dark listening to the even sound of Tasuki's breathing.
The other seishi had long ago fallen asleep after their conversation, but the monk still lay there too worked up to rest. He was trying desperately not to think about what Tasuki had said.
It was impossible.
Despite all his efforts not to, Chichiri kept replaying memories over and over in his mind. Memories of Hikou, of growing up together, of laughter, of tears, of being best friends. Except to Hikou it was more than just friendship.
He should have known. Why hadn't he known something was wrong with his friend? Had he been that self-centered? It wasn't as if there weren't any signs.
Looking back, Chichiri could remember little things that he should have noticed. The way Hikou would let his hand rest on his shoulder for a few seconds longer than was necessary. How quick Hikou was to smile and laugh, but only for him. The way Hikou was constantly watching him when he thought Chichiri wasn't looking. The desperate pain/hunger that he would see in his friend's eyes whenever Chichiri was with his fiancee or another one of his friends.
He had known there was something wrong, but whenever he confronted Hikou about it, his friend had played it off. Or changed the subject. Or made excuses. And Chichiri had accepted them, because he hadn't wanted to acknowledge the truth. The thought of his best friend liking him that way had scared him. It still did.
And it was happening again.
For a full minute Chichiri lay there frozen, hardly daring to breathe for fear that Tasuki would somehow hear that thought. There was only that thought; the rest refused to come. Finally his muscles started to quiver from strain, and Chichiri began to do a relaxation exercise to calm down.
With the familiar rhythms of the exercise came the ability to think. It was happening again. Only this time it was with Tasuki. Carefully, Chichiri went back over everything that had happened with him and the bandit.
Some of the signs were there. The way Tasuki watched him sometimes for no apparent reasons. The way he was quick to pat him on the back. Of course, Tasuki was like that with everyone. Then there was earlier tonight when he had joked about thinking about Chichiri that way. There was something in his voice that made him think that Tasuki really wasn't joking.
This was crazy. What if he was wrong, and Tasuki really saw him as nothing more than a friend? But that was what he had thought last time. He had been wrong, and his best friend and fiancee had paid the price. He couldn't go through that again. He couldn't lose anyone else. Not like that. Not again.
But where did that leave him? Chichiri had no idea how to react to the fact that his friend may like him as more than a friend. Especially since that friend was guy. How was he suppose to react to that? What was he suppose to do?
One thing he was sure of, he had to know how Tasuki really felt. Even if he made a fool of himself asking it he had to know. Chichiri turned, and wrestled with his thoughts for a few more minutes before sleep finally claimed him.
On to One of Those Moments Or Return to FY fanfics
Tsaiko: There we go. The second part is done, YEAH!
Miome: (whimpers) I can't believe we wrote that.
Tsaiko: I know. Isn't it cool?
Miome: Something like that. Like maybe cold. As an iceberg. At the Antarctic. In mid-winter.
Tsaiko: And just think, we're not done yet!
Miome: We're not!?
Tsaiko:(evil laughter) Just when you thought the insanity was over...
After this part, Miome no longer works on the story. Please don't email her. Instead contact Tsaiko with your comments and praise. Flames will provide hours of amusement to me and my friends before they are deleted. So don't send them.
One of Those Nights
Susan Lee Gidley
© 1998, Tsaiko