Let's make this simple. I have never seen the Japanese version of Digimon. I know nothing about it. All names, personalities, and places are derived from the dub shown on Fox. So please don't email me correcting me on how Davis really acts, or what Ken's real title is. I don't care. However, if you want to email me and tell me what a great writer I am, I'll be more than happy to recieve it ^_^.
One last note. Before anyone can say it, I came up with the idea of Davis being a cloud watcher totally independently of White Cat. In fact, when I read White Cat's fic I almost changed my own. Almost. But it was already done so I left it alone. Enjoy.
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Ken's story:
Ken and Wormmon appeared in the Digital World. It rare that they got time to come to the Digital World, to get away from the real world via a journey through the digital portal. The other Digidestined often came to the Digital World in their downtime. To picnic, to visit old friends, to reminisce about old times.
For Ken the Digital World still held too many memories of his time as the Emperor. He would never be completely comfortable here. Never feel like he was quite as welcomed as the others. Therefore, Wormmon had been both surprised and pleased when Ken had suggested coming here.
I know we haven't spent as much time together, Wormmon. You have to miss the Digital World. Let's go there this afternoon.
Even though Ken had first found Wormmon in the vast desert of the Digital World, he knew that Wormmon's favorite place was the forest. The trees formed a cool, shady canopy over head. Damp grass, leaves, and flowers held endless fascination for the short green digimon. Ken watched as his friend crawled over logs, explored shadows, and smelled flowers.
But eventually the worry that he had hoped to escape crept back into his mind. I have to tell someone. Kari is right. I keep to much inside. I need to tell someone. But I'm afraid. Ken kicked at a small branch with his foot. I can't tell the others. My parents will never understand. There is no one else.
Except Wormmon.
"Wormmon, there is another reason I wanted to come here. I have something I need to tell you." Ken finally said as he sat down on the roots of a nearby tree.
"What is it Ken?" the small green digimon asked. When Ken didn't immediately reply, Wormmon stopped examingin a particularly interesting flower and turned around. His master was hunched over on the tree root, shoulders slumped, dark hair covering his eyes. As quickly as he could, Wormmon crawled over. "Ken?" The apprehension that was always a part of Wormmon went up a notch.
"I have something to tell you. I've figured out something about myself recently, Wormmon. I don't know what to do. If anyone ever finds out... things could get bad. But I can't keep it inside anymore. I've already kept too much inside." Ken laughed then. It was a bitter sound, devoid of humor.
"You can tell me anything, Ken. You know that." Wormmon inched his way between Ken's legs, trying to look up into his master's eyes. All he could see was shadow. Oh, Ken. What's wrong?
"Wormmon... I'm gay." Ken forced the last words out in a rush, hoping to get it over with.
"I'm glad your happy Ken."
"You don't understand!" Ken surged to his feet. "It doesn't mean happy. It means I'm a freak. I like other guys. If anyone finds out they'll shun me, laugh at me. I'll lose all my friends. My parents will hate me." Wormmon scrambled away, flinching at the hard note in his master's voice. It reminded him too much of the dark times, the times when Ken was the Digimon Emperor.
"There's no problem with having guys as friends," Wormmon said. Why is he so upset about this? There has to be something else. He's liked guys for a long time. Just look at Davis and Cody and TK. They are his friends. Why is this time different?
"No Wormmon. You still don't understand." Ken stood before him, looming over him, eyes once again in shadows. His voice no longer held a hard edge. Instead it was flat, almost despairing. "I like guys the same way Davis and TK like Kari."
There was a pause while Wormmon tried to understand what this meant. Then his eyes got impossibly huge as what Ken was trying to tell him sunk in. "Oh Ken..."
The strength that had supported Ken throughout his confession drained away. He didn't so much sit as collaspe back onto the tree root. His head was in his hands, the blood roaring in his ears. There it is. I've told him. I've told someone. There is no going back now. I am gay. He gave another one of those strange bitter laughs.
"It's disgusting what I am. I'll understand if you don't want..." Ken choked, finding he couldn't finish the sentence. I'll understand if you don't want to be my digimon anymore. Pain ripped through him. The threat of losing Wormmon drove the breath from him.
"It's not disgusting. Just different. I don't care what you are, Ken. You're still my friend." Wormmon inched his way up Ken's leg. Ken jerked his head up at Wormmon's words, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The small digimon's own eyes were wet as well. "It doesn't matter. I'll always be here for you."
"Do you mean that Wormmon?"
"Of course, Ken."
"Wormmon..." Ken reached out and hugged his digimon. "You are the best." Relief spread throughout his chest. I thought... no one would want to be around me. I thought I would lose everyone. He squeezed tighter.
"Ken?"
"Yes?"
"I can't breathe."
Ken laughed, this time a genuine laugh.
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Davis's Story:
Davis lay on his back on top of a hill, watching white clouds in a sky that seemed preternaturally blue. A light breeze sent ripples through the tall grass. It would have been cold, but the grass blocked most of the wind and the bright sunlight warmed the ground.
"Hey Vee-mon. See the the cloud right above us? Don't you think it looks just like Wormmon?" Davis asked as he pointed above him towards the sky. From his vantage point on the ground, right beside Davis, Vee-mon stared up.
"I think it looks like Gato-mon."
"Vee-mon," Davis began, getting that slightly put upon sound to his voice, "Gato-mon and Wormmon look nothing alike. How can you think that the cloud that looks like Wormmon looks like Gatomon?"
"How can you think the cloud that looks like Gatomon looks like Wormmon?" Vee-mon replied. Davis mouth clicked shut on his reply. Up above the cloud drifted lazily, trasnforming itself into something new.
"Now it looks like my sister."
"Or a big ugly digimon."
"What's the difference?" Davis asked and they both laughed. There was a sense of peace here on the hill. It was rare that Davis and Vee-mon got to go to the Digital World to just goof off. Usually there was something that needed to be done, some new evil to be fought. But not today. Today there was nothing but the wind and the sun, the sky and the clouds.
Davis decided it time to get something off his chest. Something that he had recently found out about himself. The only thing keeping it from being the perfect day.
"Hey, Vee-mon? You'll always be my friend, right?"
"Of course, Davis." Vee-mon looked at another fluffy cloud, trying to see a shape in it before Davis could.
"I'm gay," Davis said. There was a pause. He thought about looking over and trying to read his digimon's reaction, but he never turned his head. He didn't need to. He'll either accept it, or he won't. There's nothing I can do either way.
"That's nice Davis. Don't you think that cloud looks like Angemon?" Vee-mon asked as he pointed to a grey bellied cloud haning low in the horizon.
"Do you even know what that means?" Davis asked as he propped himself up on his elbows. Large brown eyes turned towards him. Vee-mon considered it a moment before replying.
"I have no clue."
Davis thought about insulting the digimon. It would so easy to get away from the topic before Vee-mon could understand. To pretend it never happened. But that just wasn't his way. He needed someone to know, to support him when things got rough. And Davis knew that if things didn't go right, it could get very rough in the future. "It means I like guys."
Surprisingly, Vee-mon was pretty quick on the uptake. "You mean really like? Beyond friends like?" Davis nodded his head to both questions. Vee-mon lay back so Davis followed suite. They stared up at the sky again, both lost in their thoughts, neither one really seeing the clouds above them.
"Does this mean I have to stop liking Gatomon?" Vee-mon asked when the silence stretched too tight. Davis gave a short, huffying laugh lost somewhere between amusement and annoyance.
"No stupid. You can like whoever you like." Davis poked his digimon in the side. "Even if it is a girl digimon. Just because I like guys doesn't mean you have to like guy digimon."
"That's good. Because I really like Gatomon. One day I'm going to impress her for sure."
"Of course you will Vee-mon. You're the best. Who wouldn't be impressed by you?"
They lay back on the ground, watching the clouds once more. The grass continued to ripple. The clouds continued to shift into an endless variety of shapes. The sun beat down, slightly lower in the sky. Nothing seemed to have changed in the world.
"Davis?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm happy if you're happy."
"Thanks."
No other words needed to be said.
Coming Out: A Digimon fan fic
By Tsaiko
© 2001, Tsaiko