To me he was kind of cute. His brown, shaggy, hair hanging in his solemn face. He wore a t-shirt, and torn jeans with leopard print stockings underneath.
I really wanted to go over and talk to him but I felt it wasn’t the right time, even though he looked so alone. Slowly I turned and left the cafeteria. This place was too negative for me so I turned and went outside.
I was new to Highland High from Alaska and so far I didn’t like what I saw. The building though dingy, dark and dilapidated- I didn’t mind. It wasn’t the teachers either. It was the students. They were so mean spirited I couldn’t believe it. For example, the way they treated that boy in the cafeteria. My first day and I was already seeing the cliques.
The bell rang and I got up and brushed the grass from my backside. ‘Damn pants’ I thought, which were purple fake velvet- and gripped everything. Slowly I re-entered the dark building and went to my locker. I had two more classes left- Science and History.
Science was incredibly boring and I did not want to be in the class but I had no choice. The other students were just as bored as I was. I was relieved when the bell rang and I started on my way to my Grade eleven History class.
When I stepped into the classroom I noticed something; paper flying towards the back corner. Towards a boy. Towards him. I looked around the room at everyone, it seemed that they were all either throwing things at him or making comments. I noticed that there was no teacher present yet. I was amazed at how he just sat there taking it all. Then I noticed an empty chair beside him. Slowly I sat down. He didn’t look up as he doodled on a piece of loose leaf paper. That’s when a girl with perfect curly, blond hair, turned around.
“Why are you sittin’ beside the fag honey?” she asked in a southern drawl. ‘What a bitch to say that in front of him.” I thought.
“Because I’d rather sit beside a fag than a bitch like you!” I responded. I had delt with people not speaking to me all day, which I could deal with because I hated people for the most part. With that he looked up. His brown eyes flashed with something I couldn’t identify. Then I realized that I may have offended him.
“Oh my gosh” I cried “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that you are a fag I-“ “It’s okay.” he said quietly and with that looked away. For the rest of the period the guy didn’t pay any attention to me. But I did find out his name. “Jonathan!” the teacher said sharply and with that the guy next to me snapped to life.
“Uh-wha-“ he said cluelessly. I looked over to see his notebook covered in drawings of people, dead in some way, shape, or form.
“What…” the teacher started to say but I didn’t hear the rest of her question because I had resummed in living in my own world. It seemed like hours before the bell finally rang signaling the end of the class and the day.
I pushed my way through the crowded, dingy halls in an effort to get to my locker within a reasonable amount of time, after all I did have to catch a bus. I lived with my aunts because my parents had problems with me. It’s not like these problems were my fault. It’s not my fault that my Mom’s a hopeless drunk and that my Dad can’t handle looking at me because I’m not truly his daughter. So I live with my aunts, who aren’t even my real aunts. Aunt Violet is slightly insane but very cool. However there is Aunt Charlotte- my primary care giver and she is a bitch to say the least. If I did anything wrong I’d get smacked around. Aunt Charlotte was Dad’s older sister and Violet was his younger sister.
“Where’ve you been?” Aunt Charlotte asked harshly as soon as I walked in the door.
“At school” I answered. ‘That should be obvious.’ I thought.
“It’s four o’clock” she continued as if I hadn’t said anything. I tried not to get mad or mouthy. It was my first day at the school and she didn’t even ask how it went.
“I know. School lets out at 3:05” I answered “and my bus leaves at 3:15” It took fifteen minutes for the bus to get to my stop and another fifteen minutes for me to walk home. I was only fifteen minutes later than I should have been. “Don’t talk back” she hissed in response. “You have a therapist appointment in twenty minutes, we have to go now.” With that my aunt grabbed me by the elbow, dragging me out the door. I rode in the car in complete silence, watching the houses turn into business’ as we rode to Dr. Terrington’s office.
I ended up going to Dr. Terrington because Aunt Charlotte thought that I was abnormal like her sister Violet. Well no kidding, you’d be abnormal if you had the family life I had. I stayed in my room a lot and wrote- mainly songs and poetry. I also wasn’t a die-hard Christian like my aunt, in fact almost the opposite. I tried to keep it a secret from Charlotte, even though I told Violet, I had my own religion. At fist I was outraged at having to see a shrink once a week. The idea of somebody getting into my head really bothers me. But now it’s all a game. I will tell him complete bullshit about me to keep him happy, and to keep my aunt Charlotte at bay.
As usual we walked into the office at 4:30. The office was a pleasant, happy shade of yellow. As usual my aunt turned to me before she left. “Behave yourself- I’ll be here at 5:30 to pick you up.”
“Sure” I said, then added “Let the games begin.” My aunt gave me a look that said ‘Behave yourself or else.’ I returned the look with one that said ‘Bite me.’
It wasn’t long before Dr. Terrington opened his door. He smiled down at me.
“Come on in Ms. Potter” he said.
“Lily” I insisted as I stood and followed him.
Dr. Terringtons office was cool. He was a child and youth specialist and so his office had a number of different toys, including a jungle gym and trampoline. His office was huge.
I ran over and flipped onto his trampoline, my usual position. “So how are you doing Ms. Potter ?” Dr. Terrington questioned. “Lily” I insisted abruptly as I bounced on the trampoline. Suddenly I sat. “I’m doing terrible. I think I might kill myself” I said as seriously as I could.
“Mmmm” he responded. I almost burst out laughing. I could see the wheels turning round in his head. He couldn’t even tell that I was lying through my teeth. “What makes you feel this way?” “My aunt, school, my parents abandoning me, the drugs.” I responded.
So far in the past month I had manipulated my therapist into thinking that I was a depressed, mutilator that was into drugs and had an anger management problem.
After “playing” with Dr. Terrington for an hour my aunt came to pick me up.
“Some guy called you.” Was the first thing she said.
“Who?” I asked.
“He didn’t say his name” she said .”I told him you were out.”
“Why didn’t you say I was at psycho therapy?” I said spinning my finger around beside my head, making the ‘crazy’ gesture.
“Because I don’t need it to get around that my niece is mentally unstable.” she hissed.
“Well they’re going to figure it out” I said “ I’ve been her for two months and just started school. It’s quite obvious that I have some problems.”
“I kept you out of school so you could adjust” Charlotte argued “obviously that did no good.” With that comment she dropped the subject “Anyway did he’d call me back?” I asked.
“No” answered my aunt Charlotte and for the rest of the ride we were silent.