I have been through so much shit in my life. I used to cry every night, just to find somebody. I prayed someone would feel the same way I do.... and one day I found that person. One day I sat infront of the Tv and saw Jonathan.... I saw all the pain he gave out and I knew where it was coming from. I sat there and cried cause I knew I loved him from the start. That was 7 years ago and my love for him is still burning. He's not just your ordinary person... when he speaks, he puts out so much passion, when he sings, he puts all the emotion in it. He helped me realize that life isn't fun and games. He helped me realize the only true person in life who you can rely on is yourself. He opened my eyes to a world I never saw before. Everything he has ever said has meaning. Nothing that he says is pointless. Everything he has ever said helped change my life and I owe it all to him.

(what I would really say to Jonathan)

"Life's been though and you helped me realize what its all about. I was swallowed by your passion towards life and its keeping me there. When you feel pain, I do too! I feel like part of your body, I feel like I know you personally. I know I am not making any sense what so ever about all this, but I live my life for you. I know its insane and I need mental help, but I would do anything for you. I would lie for you, I cry for you... I would die for you! I love you more then anything in the world. When I see you on Tv I shake... I won't stop shaking til your face disappears on the screen, But your face is always in my mind. If I was to get one chance to sing one of your songs... it would be FOR YOU. That song has so much meaning for me to you. I would do anything for you.... I would seriously die for you just to keep you alive. I know thats sick and twisted.... but as being a Korn Queen.... I'd do it for you :)"