Through my life I've felt alot of pain and hate. Ive have felt so much of both I dont really know how to feal anything else. I dont know what to do with all this Hate, and all these memories of Pain. I always have to deal with anxiety and paranoia, I see everyone as a threat, so because of all this I hate people, so I make myself deffernt from them. And I could hold onto the fact I wasnt like them, that I was somthing more than they could be. however I feal I have lost myself and everything I have ever stood for. Which leaves me fealing even more dead to this world, I only have one thing to hold on to, Jonathin Davis. everything else has been raped and taken from me. His music talks about hate and pain, I feal he is the only other person who understands me. I havn't had the same problems he has, but I have had a lot of pain in alot of the same ways. he understands what I feal. I feal like I am a part of him. I sit at home, sing his music as best I can. listin to him over and over, read every little thing I can find about him on the internet.

Yet he has no idea I even exist. if I died right now, he wouldnt care, he wouldnt even know. I am nothing to him. Yet he is the only thing I hold on to.

Jonathan started as small and weak. He became big. now he yells at this shit filled world throwing his hate and pain at it, tryin to make people feal and understand the pain he feals everyday, the hole in him he cant fill with anything. all the cuts that are still bleeding, he is showing this world what pain is. and they hate him for it. all I want is him to know I feal it. I feal the pain you feal everyday. I feal the pain of all the nothing inside. I have a hole in me I cant fill up. My scars arnt healing, there still bleeding. I admire your strengh to keep going so much Jonathan. I dont know what you had to to hold on to. If anything. but you keep fighting. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. or at least the bottom of the big bleeding place it should be, Thank you, I love you.