I think pretty much my whole life sucked. My real father left before I knew him. My Mom got remarried and married my step dad. He would beat me all the time and eventually broke my arm (nobody call dyfs, it's already taken care of). I lived in fear of my dad most and prolly the rest of my life. My mom was rarely there and did drugs with the downstair neighbor. She would cheat on my dad and have sex with other men in my presence. Through the period of 5 to 10 I was raped on and off by a number of people. eventually my dad got taken away from us and I was stuck with me Mom. then one night my Mom tried to commit suicide, so then we were taken away from her and put into a foster home. I was transferred to three foster homes until I could finally stay in one spot. The last and third one I was in I aquired a taste for drugs at the age of nine. So everynight I would sneak out my window and go and get drunk or high or whatever I could do. I finally went back home with my mother again and then soon after my dad returned. I got more heavily into drugs as time went by, and started cutting myself. So now I have scars on my body. We moved from where we were living at the time and all the raping stopped so that was good. But I was still using and cutting. The kids in school all hated me and thought I was crazy ( I think partly cuz I am disociative and I would switch personalities whenever something got to hard for me to handle) But anyways, they thought I was weird and they would throw things at me , come to my house and yell stuff like freak and psychogirl, and just do all kinds of mean things. That's when I started listening to Korn. I would sit there and listen to Jonathan pouring his heart out, and it seemd in a way that he was trying to tell me somehing. No, I wasn't delusional, I was just trying to explain something I felt. I then began to think in a whole different way. And I didn't care what the kids said anymore because I knew there was this great man named Jonathan Davis out there that seemed like he could say anything he felt and it also seemed sometimes he would speak for me and all the others going throught tough times. When Jonathan stopped using drugs, I kicked my habit too. It was hard to stop, cuz I was on a number of drugs, including, herion, speed, cocaine, and I would drink constantly. But I figured if he could do then so could I. So I got help, and along the way I have visted to some emntal hospitals so people could figure out what is wrong with me. It took seven of them, but I have made it. And now all I have to thank is Jonathan Davis for helping me cuz I prolly would have never made it. And that is how I feel about Jon Davis, the man who saved me from suicide.