He got to work little earlier than his boss as usual. He sat on the steps, waiting. Thought about his life, how it almost was how he wanted and he had to mess it up somehow. “What am I gonna do about her? Why’d I go and do that”, he thought out loud, not thinking anybody was there.
“What you do now Jon?” he heard a thin voice in front of him, he felt his hole body get goose bumps, that voice sounded like the times in his childhood “I’ll be your daddy...” ringed in his ears, he didn’t dare to look up, until the voices hand reached out and touched his shoulder, which brought him back here, to where he looked up and saw his boss, he stared in confusion.
“What?” his boss, Drew, (small, chubby man, with a small nose, now red because of what may be a cold, that probably made his voice sound different) asked him noticing he was staring. Jon got up and went in after him. Jon worked on two bodies that day, distracted by all that was on his mind.
He got home before 6:00pm and he saw no sign of his father or even his sister. Before he could sit down, the phone rang, he dreaded the fact it could be Laura.
“Hello?” Jon said into the receiver.
“Hey man! Whaz up??” a voice, familiar to him, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.
“Hey? Whos this?”
“You don’t remember? Dam Jo-”
“Ohh... whats up Sam? What you up to?” Finally remembering his voice from to tattoo parlor.
“Thank you. Dam. So your gonna come tonight?” Sam, Jon recently meet him at the parlor when he finished his bishop tattoo. “Yeah im thinking about it...”
“Yeah you can bring your little girl-friend”
“Oh god, not you too... Who told you?”
“Just Head... listen what time you gonna get there?”
“Uh....10:00 at Al Azar right?”
“Yeah. See you there. Bye.”
“Alright.”
Jon laid on the couch, with his arms over his eyes, thinking if he should call Laura. He closed his eyes, he fell asleep, he dreamed about Alex again. He woke up when he felt the door open and he almost fell off the couch. It was Alyssa with his band mates.
“It’s 8:00pm, you don’t need to be sleeping now. Were gonna be late.”Munky said to Jon. Jon looked up at him, wondering why he said that.
“You forgot again didn’t you?” Head said sitting next to Jon. He still didn’t know what they were talking about. “Didn’t Sam tell you on the phone?” Munky said sounding kinda annoyed.
“No, he didn’t say anything...” Jon said getting a little anxious. “What is it? “Well he wanted to meet with us now, something about joining him on-stage tonight.”
“Really? Shit...not again.”
They all got up and started from for the door.
Jon was up and on-stage with the band, Companions. When he looked down to the crowd he couldn’t believe want he was seeing, could it be? Was the only thing running through his mind. “Was it her?” He couldn’t help but stare, she looked so beautiful, she looked older...wiser, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He even lost himself on what he was singing. She looked back at him, and gave him a little smile.
They kept in eye contact all the time he was on-stage. As soon as Jon came off stage he tried to find her, but he didn’t see her. He thought it probably his mind playing with him, “anyway what would Alex be doing here?” passed through his mind. He sat down at the bar, and ordered a drink, “ it will take my mind off her” he though as he pulled the glass to his lips.
He got up to use the bathroom, just when he was entering the bathroom, he felt a someone tug at his arm, he didn’t believe who he saw, ‘it couldn’t be Alex, she’s gone.’ She looked at him, with a smile on her face, she knew what he was thinking.
She put her arms a round his neck, like before, Jon felt himself, tense, with her show of emotion, as she pulled him in, the tighter her arms around her neck, the closer he was to her lips, he couldn’t believe what was happening and thought he would wake up at any moment it probably was one of his sick little dreams. They kissed for a few moments, he felt like he was in heaven and he didn’t want to step down, to this twisted little world if his. She broke the kiss after slipping something into his pocket and walked away from him not even looking back. His mind was blank, he leaned into the wall, after realizing this was no dream, he remembered she put something in his pocket. When he opened up the folded paper, he recognized a sketch, one she made, he figured after he left. His eyes filled with tears, then he noticed there was something written:
“well, I thought I’d never find you. We always go back to what we truly love, I guess i wasn’t really ever happy when I wasn’t with you. 565-7890”
When Jon walked out the bathroom, and got lost in the crowd. He tryed to find Alex, but it seemed like she was gone again. Jon got home, dead drunk, he couldn’t even walk strait, Alyssa helped him to the bathroom, she knew he was about to vomit any moment and as soon as Jon saw the toilet, he let it come, and he puked until he was knocked out. Head and David carried him to his room and set him on his bed, where Alyssa was, “I wonder what todays’ reason”
* * *
Jon woke to the sound of very loud hammering and the sound of a lawnmower. He couldn’t barely move himself, he was so strung-out. He remembered what happened, he wondered if it was a dream. He didn’t really remember much after coming off stage, he put it away in his mind and decided to think it was another dream. He got up, nauseous and walked to the bathroom holding on to the walls, so not to fall down. He came out and went to see if there was any sign of his parents or any root to all the noise. There was no sign of his parents or even Alyssa. He walked out the front door and saw Alyssa talking to a girl, across the street, where Alex used to live, he looked around at the front lawn and saw where the noises where coming from. They were gonna sell that house. He looked closer at the girl, wondering if it was Alex, her back was facing him. He turned around and sat down in the living room couch. He sat still on the couch, thinking about his dream, he got up to take some pills and see if he could get rid of his headache. He remembered she had given him a paper, in his left pocket, he reached down to it, just to make sure what was real. He didn’t believe what he found....it wasn’t a dream. He sat down on the couch again, swallowing down his pills. He started at the phone number in his hand, couldn’t make up his mind on wether to call or not. He looked at the phone, carelessly thrown on the couch.
Alyssa walked in and told him something about some new neighbor, he didn’t pay much attention to it. He picked up the phone and dialed, the phone rang about 4 times before anybody picked it up.
“Hello?” the voice said.
“Hey, how you doing?”
“Oh hi Jon, fine. I didn’t think you call again. There something wrong?”
“No, I just felt I should call and at least say thank you for a very nice time.”
“Ok well you should know this can’t go on Jon. My ex called and were back together and we might get engaged, this is something we both really wanted. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
Jon felt relieve as well as rejection, he felt glad it was over, but wished it wasn’t so ruff on him. “Oh ok. Well i guess, congratulations-“ Jon said in a ordinary tone and hung up.
He sprung out on the couch, thinking about what had happened and how screwed up it all was. He though about how ironic it all was, he was gonna turn her down too, but it hurt that way for some reason. He didn’t think he could get attached so fast to her, but he never had a taste of rejection, even though nobody too normal could. Jon almost dozed off again, then the phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Hi is Alyssa there?” a girls voice called, it was probably Kelly or some other of his sisters friends. He called to Alyssa even though he knew she was across the street, but to his surprise, she answered and was coming up the front stairs of the porch. When he looked up to give her the phone, he realized she wasn’t alone, she was with the girl from across the street. Jon recognized her but really didn’t know where but his bodys response was one that took him to a night during his time at college. She was wearing almost the same thing that he first saw her in, a black mesh under a strapless shirt, chains on her neck, piercing on her eyebrows, under her lip and her nose. She had on a short black skirt with black fishnet pantyhose over light blue pantyhose, with black combat boots. She stood outside on the porch while Alyssa was on the phone. Jon couldn’t help but stare at her, she had such a pretty face, light brown eyes and black hair with light brown roots, her lips were thin and pouty. She noticed Jon staring at her and started to play with her tongue ring. Jon felt bliss remembering where that ring had taken him last time, he grew tense just watching her and decides to head to his room to get his mind off all that. He turned on the radio, and laid on his bed and he kept thinking about her and when they had been together, her and her girlfriend, they were exhilarating and inspirational to watch. He didn’t want to do what was on his mind since he saw that girl, but he couldn’t help it. Jon laid back and thought about them and took himself to a place where he had not gone in a long time alone. Jon kept playing with his emotions and himself, but was disturbed by a knock on the door. Jon quickly got up and got himself together, so he could answer the door.
“What?” he called to who ever was on the other side of the door.
“Open the door Jon” Alyssa called out to him.
Jon open the door to find his sister with the two girls, Trix and Jane, Jane was the one with a pieced tongue and Trix was the other one. She was also dressed in black, black t-shirt, the chain on her neck was like a dog collar, and Jane was holding the other end, she had a band logo on her shirt he couldn’t remember where he had seen that before though, she had black baggy jeans with a few chains off her jeans, almost long enough to drag on the floor. She had very short hair, blonde with red spots.
“Jon this is Jane and Trix.”
“Yeah, we know him-” Trix said to Alyssa, “he went to the same college with Jane”
“Oh alright then. Jon I’m going off to Kelly’s she called me.” Trix walked into his room and started to look around and Jon stayed next to Jane who seem a little shy. Jon wondered what he was to do know with these girls...
“So you guys just moved in?”
“Yeah. Now were neighbors.” Jane said to Jon surprised that she spoke.
Jon could see his recent fantasy coming alive, but the Trix was looking out the window and saw a moving van pull up in front of there house.
“Well man take care, we got to go, all our thing are here.”
“Alright” Jon walked the girls out the front door and watched them walk across the street and up to there house. Jon looked at the clock an the wall and decided to start to get ready for work. He was in the shower, taking longer than usual trying to wash his hair. Jon was reminded that his parents weren’t thee, and it felt good not to have that bitch knocking down the door.
Jon started off to work, when he noticed there was no car in Jane’s driveway, and wondered where they were off to.
Jon got to work a little early and saw Drew’s car parked next to Jane’s. Jon walked in, and got dressed in his coroners coat and went to Drews office to see who he’d work on that day. To his surprised his dark office wasn’t so dark, and he saw Jane sitting at his desk, looking through his desk. Drew was at the file cabinet, writing something on a new document. When Jon walked in, Drew stopped what he was writing, and gave Jon a awkward little smile, patented to his old, worry filled eyes and a face wrinkled with his troubles and worries, but seemed a little less stressed than usual.
“Hey Jon,-” he said in his thin voice, “- This is my daughter Jane, she just finished school and gonna get experience here”
“Hi Jon.”
“Hey.”
“She’s here with her friend Cherrie or something, I think there on your same street. Well, anyway, you’ll have time to get to know her, this is your first patient. His name is Christian O’Donnell, cause of death AIDS probably.”Drew watched his daughter get out of his chair and watched her put on his coat, he seemed proud, very proud of her. “Show her how we do things here.”
Jane and Jon stood across from each other, staring at the finished body and disgusted by all they found. There was bleach in his stomach, acid in his blood and it seemed as though somebody else had poisoned him. He was bruised all over his back, thighs and chest, but the beating he took wasn’t enough to kill him. He had bruises on his wrist, where they found some fibers of plastic rope. Jon thought about how he had been beat, and tortured, Jon felt so bad for him, but at least they put him out his misery... Jane stared at Jon, questioning him and the reasons for his emotions. Jane probably wouldn’t understand him. Jon covered him up and started to roll him away.
Jon sat on the floor, staring out the small window and Jane sat down on a little stool that was next to the table with all the tools on it. They sat in an awkward silence. She looked at him, and he looked out the window, he found himself thinking about Alex again. Was she really back? He didn’t want to believe it. Jon got up, walked put to the hall way, to where his closet was, he started to take off his coat. Put everything away and stood by the back door. After being there for a few minutes. He feels a had on his waist, he turned around scared stupid, and was relieved to see it only was Jane. She had a flyer in her hand. He recognized the flyer.
Jon looked at his watch he remembered where he had to be at 9:00pm.
“Somewhere else you rather be?”
“Yeah, my band plays tonight.”
“Band? Where? When? Is it this here?” Jane asked him, passing the flyer to him.
“Yeah this is it. Are you gonna go?”
“Thinking about it, but we don’t know where it is.”
“There gonna pick me up at 9:00pm, so if you decide to come, you’ll have to follow us ‘cause I don’t think you’ll fit in the car.” Jon informed her in an unusual melancholy voice. He felt lost in all those new feelings. He wanted to be with Alex, but the way his life had turned around, he didn’t know if he could be tied down to her or any other girl. As much as he still thought he loved her, he was unsure of this life.
“Jon-”Jane said and started to shake him to try and bring him back, “-Jon”
“Oh, sorry...what?”
“Well go to your house before 9:00pm”
“O.K. I’m going home. See ya soon...” Jon walked out the back door and into his deepest thoughts once again. As he walked home, he felt the cool evening breeze caress his face, and brush his hair away from his face. As he walked, he watched what was left of the sunset, the orange turn into dark red and into a dark blue...until almost black. He though about the first time he was with Alex, and how everything seemed to hold still for them. Jon got home at about 8:00, he got to his house, and went to his room, he laid in his bed, his heart raced as he thought about her... he though was he was to do if she came around the show tonight. How would she react? How would he react? He was so nervous, he kept going back to the last night they were together...he felt so dirty and sick thinking of her like that, he was stimulated and he felt so bad for feeling like that. He knew were that feeling always took him. But he thought about it, "it's only been a week, why can't I even go a week????" Jon got up, to take a shower. As he washed himself he remembered the way she ran her hands all around him...he remembered what it felt to touch her, and to have her close, and feel her tremble as he would cum into her.... and Jon couldn't help it any more........Before he knew it he was crying over her.... he never expected to finish like that, but he loved the way his heart raced when he thought about women, but he hated feeling so guilty about thinking of Alex, sweet beloved Alex.
He felt like a baby crying over his favorite toy after it was taken away. He couldn't help it, he knew he wanted an escape to him emotions but he never wanted to cy about it, he felt so weak when he cried, even though he knew it was ok to. Jon got up, to stop feeling so sorry for himself, tonight another night, "who gives a dam if she shows up? it will only go were she takes it." Jon got ready for tonights show. He was almost late for his ride. Jon went outside to greet his new neighbors. They were all ready for tonight, Jane was all in black...again, she was in tight leather pants with a few chains off her pants, she had a black long sleeve shirt long enough to cover her rist. She had black eyeshadow, black lipstick, and her hair was in lots of little buns all over her head, Jon watched her come out the house followed by Trix, she was in almost the same clothes Jane was, her hair was in short spikes, and the red was only on the tips on her spike. She had a little more chains on than Jane and she had a short sleeve shirt and her arms were covered with spike bracelets, on her left arm he noticed a tattoo she didn't have before...he couldn't really tell what it was.
"Hey Jon." Jane said followed by Trix.
"Hey."
"Your gonna ride with us right?"
"well if thats what you want. but we got to wait for the guys. they like to make sure that I show up...its not much of a show when there no vocals." "oh ok I see, you’re the vocalist?"
"yeah." Jon. said smiling under his recent achievement with his band.
"thats gotta rock"
"yeah, I guess so..."
Jane looked at the car pulling up into Jons drive way... "Look at that, Jon's getting his mak on!!!!" Head yelled out as he was getting out the car. It was Munkys' car and he didn't seem too happy about him having to be the one to chofer them around...
Jane and Trix didn't seem to mind much the comment said, that seemed to turn Jon from white to almost pale to almost red. Jon tried to hide behind his hair but it wasn't really working. Jon introduced everybody to every body and went inside to get Alyssa, she seemed to be ready.
"come on Alyssa, there here and were gonna leave."
"hold on, im still not ready."
"well were leaving."
Jon heard Alyssa throw a few things and came out the door, and walked outside.
Jon was outside, and the guys had left with Alyssa. "Jon. do you wanna drive?" Trix asked handing him the keys.
"uhhhh-" Jon said thinking about it all and feeling his stomach turned and a knot form and tighten.
"its ok, you don't seem to comfortable with that, I’ll drive." Trix said pulling back the keys and opening the drivers side door.
"thanks Trix,-"
"I guess working at the morgue made you paranoid too. Jane doesn't even like getting in a car anymore."
"yeah thats gotta be it." Jon said smiling at Jane, something else they have in common.