Walking down the hall. people throwing things at her. calling her a freak and a 'fag lover' they all knew of how her idol, Jonathan Davis, had been called a fag. people shouting other rude things. shoving her into the wall and the lockers in the hallway. the teachers laughing along with the other students as a rude comment was just said about her. people whispering rumors about her when she was standing right there.

A tear slid down her porcelain face. then another and another. they splashed silently onto the wood floor and formed dark puddles which seemed to be portals to new worlds. better worlds. happier worlds. worlds where people didn't judge so easily as the people at school did. she began to fantasize about going to these new worlds. dreams of friends and fun days at school formed in her tortured mind. dreams of having two parents. two, kind and caring parents.

her silent weeping soon turned into violent sobs as pictures of her alchoholic mother formed in front of her eyes. pictures of her screaming at her to turn her music down, to take the posters off her wall, to wear normal clothes, to stop crying, and other things like that.

she stared at her walls. the pictures were so beautiful to her...

"all i want in life is to be happy... happy" sang jonathan as his beautiful voice echoed from the speakers of her cheap stereo. "happy...happy...happy" the word echoed in her head....happiness wasn't something that she was famliar with.

"TURN THAT MUSIC OFF!" screamed her mother as she drunkly stumbled into her room and shattered Iris's thoughts of a better life. Her heart sank at the sight of her mother. she was convinced that a happier life was too far away for her to grasp.

Iris immediatly stopped crying and stared silently as her mother's large figure hovered over her like an animal waiting to feast on it's prey. She suddenly threw her bottle of beer that she had been holding, at the wall causing glass to fly everywhere. She held up her arm shielding her face from the shards of razor sharp glass. Then, as if she had lost the battle, she left without saying a word. Iris stared at the now closed door, her eyes glued upon it as the daze she was in slowly faded away.

Once she managed to grab hold of the time the music played on. but new thoughts raced through her mind. "i can't live like this...i have to end it.....i have to get away....i have to end my pain..." she said to herself as she crawled over to where a shard of the beer bottle was. she picked it up and admired it's razor like edges.

"constant paranoia surrounds me everyone i see is out to get me..." his voice sang on.

Iris brought the blade to her wrist. "i'm so sorry jonathan. i can't live with any of them any more. my life will always be like this and the only way to escape is for me to do this..." she said...hoping that if he read the story about her death in the paper or saw it on the news then he would understand and not blame himself. "you've kept me alive for so long, but no one can help me now." as she took her last breaths she screamed out the words along with him. "Sometimes i wish i could be strong like you...it doesn't matter..." and then with a flash, she brought the jagid glass across her wrists and as if only seconds had past, her small form soon slumped down to the floor and her own blood pooled around her. "Thank you" she whispered and her soft blue eyes rolled back into her head and her pain was, for once in her life, finally gone.

***

As Jonathan took his place behind the mic and was about to start the first song of that nights concert, something clicked inside him. "somethings wrong... someone has died" he thought. how he knew this, he didn't know. it just popped up in his head. 'Iris.' the name echoed through his mind. 'Iris. Iris says Thank you.' he had had no idea who had said that but he heard it clearly as if someone had whispered in his ear. but when he looked behind him, no one was there.