In an instant, Jon traveled back in time. Back to a place he hated, a place he never wanted to revisit. He was no longer in the recording studio, amongst friends. He was no longer the same age. He was a teen, once again. Instead of hearing the sounds of the laughter of his band-mates and producer, he heard the bitter yelling of his step-mother.
She was downstairs, yelling up at him to get out of bed.
“Get out of bed you lazy free-loader!”
Jon groaned and rolled out of bed. His step-mother, Sharon, continued to yell at him from downstairs. Not particularly wanting to put up with her screaming this morning, he walked over to his dresser to start his tape player. He opened a drawer and fished out one of his Duran Duran tapes. He played it while he began getting dressed for school. When he finished dressing and getting his stuff together, he walked back over to his dresser and picked up his eyeliner. He gingerly applied it while enjoying the music. He knew that his peers hated him for doing this; That their narrow-minded attitudes couldn’t see past what he wore, not who he was. But he was determined not to conform for them; To not give them the satisfaction of knowing that their opinion of him meant so much to him that he was willing to change himself for them.
Once Jon finally felt as if he’d worked up enough courage to go downstairs and face Sharon, he walked over to his tape player, stopped the music, and left his room.
He walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. He didn’t feel very hungry, and thought that he might be able to slip out of the house before Sharon could yell at him.
He was wrong.
“ ‘Bout time you got up,” she said with hate clearly showing in her voice.
“Sorry,” Jon mumbled, not slightly meaning it. He continued for the door, but Sharon stood in front of him, blocking the door.
“I want you to clean the house when you get home,” she sneered.
“Why? It’s all your mess,” Jon responded, speaking pure truth.
Sharon was outraged. She slapped him across his face as hard as she could. Jon swallowed the lump in his throat and held back his tears.
“Don’t ever touch me.” Jon said, pushing Sharon back. He turned and walked out the door before she could stop him. As soon as he was outside he dropped to the ground and cried. Why does she hate me so much, he thought to himself. The answer to this question he would never know. He just sat there on the ground, crying out all his anger and frustration. He could hear someone distantly calling his name.
“Jon… Jon?.. Hey Jon?”
* * * * *
Jon looked up. He was no longer outside on the ground; No longer a teen. He was back in the studio, with his band. All these memories had flashed back in his mind in an instant. The person calling his name was his friend, and band-mate, Brian.
“You ready, man?” Brian asked.
“Um.. I.. “ Jon felt dazed. “Yeah… Yeah, I’m ready.”
Jon noticed the camera a few feet in front of the microphone. The band was putting together a home video that they planned to sell. They hadn’t, however, told Jon that they were going to film him singing.
“Fieldy, what is that thing doing there?” Jon said, sounding a bit irritated.
“Oh man, didn’t we tell you? We’re taping you,” Fieldy replied.
Jon sighed. He knew debating it would do no good.
“Alright…”
Jon slowly walked over to the microphone. He saw their producer, Ross, start the camera. Jon picked up his headphones. He heard the slow beginning of the song, and relived the time he spent with his step mother…
“Living life… Don’t you cry” Jon began.
The words from his troubled childhood poured from soul. The tears began to well up in his eyes…
“Looking back, I was never, ever right. You were my step-mom who always wanted me out of your sight.”
The words kept coming. Jon lost control. His screams grew more and more extreme, until eventually, all his anger was spent. All that was left, were small sobs.
“How.. can I.. cry.. over someone I never loved…” Jon softly cried.
The music stopped. Jon stood there, feeling weak and hurt from his own memories. Fieldy emerged from dark corner of the studio and walked over to Jon. He put his arm around Jon and comforted him.
Jon forced back the tears and did his best to forget what he had just been singing. “I can’t believe I cried that whole song,” Jon said, trying not to sound as weak as he felt.
Jon and Fieldy walked out of the recording and saw the rest of the band. Jon looked around, and saw everyone from his band with teary eyes. He saw Brian talking into the camera.
“My favorite singer in the whole world is in my band,” Brian said, sounding very sincere.
“Oh man…” Jon said to himself. He wondered how the people listening to the CD would react to the song. He thought he’d just have to wait and see.