Notes: Part two. I don’t know how long this fic is gonna turn out to be, but I don’t think it’s gonna be that much longer. And there’ll definitely be an epilogue.

 

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the two who turned their backs on eath other have nowhere to go
they can't even hear the sound of the heavy, pounding rain

Kyo sniffled pitifully and dragged the back of his hand across his eyes, wiping away the remaining tears. His throat and nose were sore from crying and his makeup, what little he had even bothered to apply, was streaked across his face and the back of his sleeve. He laughed at the thought, the sound catching in his throat. There comes a time when all you can do is laugh or scream till your throat is raw. Kyo choked on the laugh, his eyes tearing up again. Baka, he berated himself, gonna choke to death in a hospital? Oh, that'll look good in the papers.

When he could breathe relatively normally again, Kyo sat up straight. His eyes focused on the silent, still figure on the bed. Kaoru's breathing was even, regulated by one of the many machines the prone guitarist was hooked up to. Kyo reached out and gingerly picked up one cool, unmoving hand. He almost started sobbing again as his warm skin came in contact with Kaoru's too cool hand. He tenderly rubbed his hand across the back of the string-callused hand, eyes never leaving Kaoru's face.

turning their backs on each other, they walk to a place they go to
their footprints vanishing, one after the other

Die curled up on the bed, large hands clenched tightly in a pillow, and sobbed. He cried until his whole body shook, until he could cry no more. Still shaking, he rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling, pillow still gripped tightly in his hands. The room suddenly seemed empty and unwelcome. The large bed felt empty without the presence of another, familiar, warm body that usually occupied the vacant spot on the other side of the bed.

No, Die thought to himself, he's in the hospital, hooked up to a bunch of goddamned machines, breathing with a respirator. The guitarist choked on another sob. He dragged one large palm across his face, cleaning away the salty wetness of tears. His stomach rumbled, loud in the stillness of the room. Kyo was right, Die admitted silently. You do need to eat. With that thought, he reluctantly rolled off the bed and stumbled to the kitchen. He doubted he would be able to hold any food down.

turn me into a memory and go to the new ocean
from my heart I wish you happiness
there is happiness beyond the tears
but you aren't there beyond the tears

Toshiya shivered in the indifferent cold of the hospital elevator. These doctors didn't give a damn if they froze the visitors, did they? The lift gave a cheery little ding that made Toshiya frown. He stepped off the elevator and walked the now-familiar path to Kaoru's room. As he rounded a corner, though, he walked straight into a familiar figure. He landed on his butt rather ungracefully.

Yoshiki didn't say anything as he helped Toshiya from the floor. The tall, slender bassist nodded a small thanks and pulled free, continuing in his path to Kaoru's door. Almost reluctantly, he paused in front of the door, raising one elegant hand to knock lightly on the door. Kyo must have said something from inside, because Toshiya disappeared into the room seconds later.

With a heavy sigh, the producer leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes. These boys didn't deserve to be put through this kind of pain. He clenched one hand in his jacket pocket, feeling his favorite lighter dig into his palm. He winced and pulled the lighter from the pocket. It was one hide had given to him not long before he...Yoshiki cut that line of thought and studied the object in his palm. It was just like the guitarist, loud, obscene, and brightly colored. He smiled slightly, remembering when the elfin man had given him the lighter. Hide had pressed it into Yoshiki's palm and kissed the drummer's cheek, whispering it was for Yoshiki to remember him by when he was in L.A.

Oh, god, Yoshiki thought, closing his eyes again please, PLEASE let Kaoru pull through. Don't take him before his time. These boys can't hold together without him. He felt a hot wetness trail down his face and realized he was crying.

we won't be seperated I don't want us to be seperated, but
your words pierce deeply through my heart don't you see?

Toshiya walked slowly to Kyo and wrapped his long arms around the vocalist. The blonde turned in the chair and buried his face in Toshiya's tee shirt, arms encircling the taller man's waist. Toshiya didn't say anything as he smoothed Kyo's tousled hair with one hand. He let the singer embrace him.

"I can't do this, Totchi," Kyo's muffled voice was thick with tears. "I can't fucking do this." The singer pulled back, his dark eyes wide and furious. Toshiya let his arms drop from Kyo's shoulders, shocked at his lover.

"Na-nani?" he stuttered.

"I will not watch one of my best friends slowly waste away hooked up to a bunch of fucking machines." Kyo was all but spitting at Toshiya. The bassist gasped, almost afraid. He had never seen Kyo act like this. There was a contained fury in his lover's smaller form, and he was scared.

"Kyo, stop it, please," he begged, reaching a hand out hesitantly. Kyo turned his back to Toshiya, hunching over in the chair. He started to sob again, a harsh, broken sound. Toshiya stepped toward him, intending to wrap his arms around him and try to offer some comfort. A soft voice from the doorway stopped him.

"Let him cry."

we won't be seperated I don't want us to be seperated, but
the waves erase your footsteps again, one by one

Shinya closed the door as quietly as he had opened it. Toshiya and Kyo both watched him walk to the bedside. He brushed a hand across Kaoru's high cheekbone. Sighing, he let his hand drop back to his side. He fixed his gaze on the petite singer.

"Feel better?"

"Hai, a little," Kyo replied, voice just above a whisper. Shinya smiled.

"Shin-chan, you should be in bed," Toshiya admonished. There was no real force to his words, just something to break the silence.

"Iie, the doctor said I'm fine. I wanted to..." the skinny drummer's voice trailed off as he gazed at the prone guitarist.

"We understand," Toshiya broke in. He offered Shinya a slight smile. The drummer walked around the bed to Toshiya and wrapped his skinny arms around his friend. Kyo stood and elbowed his way into the hug, burying his face in Toshiya's shoulder. The three stood that way, just holding each other. Shinya jumped when another pair of strong arms wound around the group. Yoshiki whispered reassuringly that it was just him and kissed the younger drummer's hair. The four men embraced, the only sounds in the room their breathing and the quiet hum of machines in the background. The lone figure on the bed never moved.

with the changing of the seasons
it's too late, but I want to hold your hand one more time
in the changing of the seasons
meeting someday...parting someday...and meeting with you