Untitled
~Part II~
"Kyo! Where were you?" Kaoru demanded.
"I was ... uh ... caught up with something," the vocalist explained, all the while fidgeting nervously. "Sorry, Kaoru..."
Seeing the blond vocalist so nervous, Kaoru immediately felt sorry for being so harsh on him. "Well, don't get so nervous! It's just like all our other lives, 'kay?" Kaoru statement soften.
Kyo was only able to respond with a nod before he was pulled to a side by Toshiya.
"Well??"
"I did it..."
"Where'd you put it?" Toshiya inquired urgently.
"Inside his makeup kit with his makeup remover--"
"Why there?" the bassist interrupted impatiently.
Kyo rolled his eyes, the effect was scarier than normal with his contacts, "He HAS to remove his makeup, so there's absolutely no why he could miss it!
Toshiya hugged the vocalist tightly, "You're so smart! you wittle wittle cutie pie!"
A vein popped out the side of Kyo's forehead, but luckily for the bassist, they were given the signal to get on stage.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hanako! Hurry up and grab Kaoru-san's makeup kit!" A crew member shouted into the dressing room. "They'll be back for a change of clothes anytime now!"
"Hai~!" came the short breathed response from within the dressing room. Three crew members were waiting, patiently enough, outside for the makeup kits ... all the while wincing inwardly at the cacophony wrought up by *one* girl in an *empty* dressing. Suddenly, there was a loud clatter of many items dropping accompanied by the sounds of shattering glass coming from within the dressing.
//UGH!!! >_<!!//
The three rushed in to assess the degree of damage.
"Hanako, what happened?"
"I- I dropped Kaoru-san's makeup kit," Hanako whimpered. "I swear I didn't know it wasn't closely properly!"
"Nevermind," piped in another one of the three. "Hana-chan, just brush all the broken bottles and stuff into a waste basket and then come meet us when you're done okay?" With that, the crew members rounded up what they could use and left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kyo felt like strangling his makeup artist.
Every time the vocalist moved to look at a certain guitarist, the makeup artist would just pop right back into his line of vision, trying to fix his makeup.
Kyo managed to catch a glimpse of Kaoru doing something with his makeup kit...before the persistent makeup artist obstructed his view *again*.
"Look, Hiro-san! Someone else needs your help!" Kyo lied, pointing in a random direction.
"But Kyo-san, I need to finished fixing your makeup--"
"No need." Kyo interrupted firmly.
"But you'll look awkward if I don--"
"Hiro-san," Kyo interrupted again. "I'm *supposed* to look disturbing.. That's the image I wanted... awkward will be fine... now GO!" the vocalist finished, practically shoving the makeup artist aside.
Having finally rid himself of the nuisance, Kyo thought he could finally observe Kaoru's statement..., that is until another nuisance popped out to replaced the first.
"Does he know yet? How did he react to the letter? Was he happy? Distressed? What?" the nuisance named Toshiya inquired with all out curiosity.
Kyo was trying his best to keep himself from hurling the blue-headed bassist to the far ends of the earth. "Totchi," Kyo started through clenched teeth, "I wouldn't know unless you are transparent."
Toshiya blinked a few times in confusion, then...
"OH! I'm sorry!" and the bassist ducked out of Kyo's line of vision, but unfortunately they were signaled to get on stage again....
"Damn!" Kyo growled out while getting up, almost knocking his chair over.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time Kyo was enjoying the performance, the concert was already coming to a close. Fanservice had went on as planned,... with maybe a bit of spontaneity on Kyo's part (more specifically Kyo's part that involves Kaoru). Aside from that first change of costumes, Kyo hasn't been able to talk to Toshiya at all....
//Did he read the letter?... I hope.. I didn't scare him....//
Well, to Kyo, the fanservice between himself and the pink haired guitarist went smoothly... even the impulsive ones...
//Maybe it's not that bad...?//
As the concert went on, Kyo was becoming more and more at ease on stage. By "Garden," Kyo was so moved by the response of the audience that Kaoru and The Letter was almost pushed to the back of his mind....
Almost....
Kaoru had decided to surprise Kyo with his own spontaneous fanservice as well. During the piano version of "I'll", when they were tossing out guitar picks, drumsticks, and water bottles ((just gotta mention that! *____* ~Gackt no hime)), Kaoru had just walked up to the blond and hugged him!
//Okay okay.. Maybe not 'hug', but he still initiated the contact!// Kyo thought warmly. //A semi-hug...//
And that "semi-hug"+playful jesting brought the brightest smile to grace Kyo's features since Toshiya's confrontation with him. But all that couldn't be compared to the shock of being picked up by the aforementioned guitarist. Kyo's feelings at that moment can be described as elation, surprise, shock, overwhelming joy, and all in all... //Kami-sama! I can't believe this is happening!!//
~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Dir en grey was finally making their last trek back to their dressing room, Toshiya once again entered into another whispering session with Kyo. Unknown to the pair, someone else was paying more attention to them than they know of...
"Kaoru-kun, you really need to stop glaring at them every time they get physically close like that," Shinya said in a low voice to the guitarist.
Kaoru tore his eyes away from the vocalist and bassist and blinked at Shinya, "Glare? I didn't--"
"Kaoru, you should've seen yourself when you saw Kyo lick Totchi. If looks could kill..." Shinya trailed off with a roll of his eyes. "Then you went on to look all depressed when you saw those two talking during the time we changed into our second set of costumes."
Kaoru blushed at that, "Was I that bad? You think they noticed?"
"Yes you were, and I don't know," came the honest reply.
"Shin-chan!" a red-headed guitarist interrupted. "Come help me with my love life!" the same guitarist said as he slid his arms arm the drummer's waist, hugging him from behind.
"Die! Let go of me!" Shinya all but screamed at the redhead before he felt himself being dragged away unwillingly... well, only half unwillingly...
//At least some of us have their love returned...// Kaoru thought, a somewhat forlorn smile playing on his lips as he watched Die drag Shinya away.
//Well, better get this coat of paint of my face.... Ah shit! >_<! I needed to borrow some makeup remover from Shinya!!... I hope Die doesn't take too long....//
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Die! What are you doing?" Shinya hissed angrily at the guitarist who still had a firm hold on him around his waist.
"You spend all your time with Kaoru and none with me nowadays!" Die complained with a hint of a pout.
"Die, I hardly ever spend time with you anyways," Shinya stated, finally able to wiggle his way out of Die's grasp.
"Maybe I *want* to spend time with you, Shinya," Die countered in a soft voice laced with...
//With what?... sadness?// Shinya thought before he responded.
"If I didn't know any better, I would've have thought you're jealous, Die-kun."
"Maybe I am..."
That caused Shinya to whipped around and face Die.
"Wha--?!!?!" Shinya tried to asked, but the word was caught and died in his throat when Die's mouth covered the drummer's for a soul searing kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Kyo was terribly nervous, sitting in front of his mirror *attempting* -- because his hands shook too much-- to remove his makeup. Every time he saw the Kaoru's reflection crossing the room behind him, he would almost jump out of his seat. Finally having had enough of this, Kyo decided to focus only on the task of removing his heavy stage makeup. He was so focused with staring at his own reflection that when someone tapped him on the shoulder, he nearly jumped out of his skin.
"Ne~~ Kyo, calm down! It's only me..."
"Totchi! Are you trying to scare the hell outta me or something??!!"
"Heheheheh... gomen ne, Kyo," the bassist said with a sheepish smile. "I was just curious if Kaoru talked to you yet."
"No..." Kyo let his voice trail off with a disappointed tone.
Toshiya flashed Kyo a warm supportive smile. "Don't worry Kyo-chan, he's probably waiting for all of us to go before he talks to you. Don't be so tense about this..."
"You're right, Totchi, this is ridiculous," Kyo tried to laugh, but recognizing that he had failed miserably, he quickly added, "I'm gonna get hot chocolate from the vending machine..-_-..."
"Look out for rabid fangirls, my dear wittle Kyo-chan!" the pretty bassist called teasingly after the blond vocalist.
Kyo was thinking of 101 ways to exact revenge on Toshiya, and when he was finishing the last mouthful of his chocolate, he got to idea #98. His devilish little mind continued to churn up a myriad of ideas as he stepped back into the dressing room, looking for a waste basket. Finally finding one, Kyo tossed his paper cup and was about to turn away when something in the waste basket caught his eye...
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Totchi! Have you seen our little devil of a vocalist?" Die asked with a very happy smile ((Wonder why... XD...~Gackt no hime)).
"He just stepped outside to get hot chocolate 5 minutes ago," the bassist informed. "Why?"
"Just to give him back some of his stuff. Some of the gifts the fans gave him got mixed up with mine..." Die explained.
"Ohhh... well, I'll get him for you," the bluehead offered, hopping to his feet. And before the guitarist could stop him, he was already retracing Kyo's path.
~~~~~~~~~~
Toshiya was surprised to find Kyo staring-- or more like glaring-- into the waste basket, gripping a piece of crumbled and dirty paper in his fist so hard that his knuckles where turning white.
"Kyo?" Toshiya called tentatively, sensing that something was terribly wrong.
No response.
"Kyo-chan..."
Still no response.
Finally, as Toshiya reached out a hand to tap his friend on the shoulder, Kyo gave a response.
"Stop." It was said so softly and so brokenly that the bassist had almost didn't hear it.
"Kyo?"
"...."
"Kyo, what happened...?"
".... He..." the petite vocalist turned around to face his friend with such a painful statement that the bluehead gasped involuntarily, rushing up in a attempt to hug the blond.
But Kyo stepped backwards, putting distance between himself and the bassist.
"I- I need to be alone right now Toshiya," and with that said, the vocalist turned around and began heading towards one of the exits, not even noticing that he dropped the paper he was at first holding onto so tightly.
"Kyo? Kyo! Where are you going?!" the bluehead shouted as he chased after the blond, unfortunately, Kyo had already disappeared into the winter night.
"Toshiya! What are you doing out there with only those thin layers of clothing?!" came Shinya's startled exclamation from within the building.
After his little... interlude... with a certain red-haired guitarist, the drummer found himself in need of some fresh air to cool down (( mwahaha! what have you been doing, shin-chan? ~Gackt no hime)). As he neared the exit, he could hear the shouts and sounds of heels clicking on the linoleum floor, so he picked up his pace as well, expecting some sort of trouble. What he didn't expect was finding their bassist out in the freezing cold with only his costume on.
"Toshiya!" the drummer called again. "Get back in here unless you have some sort of death wish!"
At that, the blue haired man suddenly turned around and ran back into the building, almost knocking the slim drummer down in the process. Worried about his friend's strange behavior, the auburn-haired man followed closely behind.
"Totchi?" Shinya ventured.
"Help me find it, Shinya!" Toshiya voice sounded almost frantic as he looked around.
"What are you looking for?" the drummer asked, eyes scanning for anything that the bassist could have lost.
"It's... a crumpled piece of paper."
//crumpled paper, crumpled paper...//
"Is this it?" Shinya asked, holding up an impossibly dirty and crinkled piece of paper.
Toshiya didn't reply, just grabbed it out of the drummer's hand.
He was at first determined to find out if that paper was really what he thought it was,... but now, with the paper in his hands, he was almost afraid to find out.
//Kaoru wouldn't...would he?//
Shinya watched as hesitation flashed across the bassist's features.
"Do you want me to read it to you?" the drummer offered.
"No...no, it's okay. I can do it..." Then, taking in a deep breath, Toshiya opened and straightened the paper.
Shinya saw Toshiya's eyes widened in shock and disbelief as the bassist saw whatever was written at the top of the paper, then narrowed into angry slits as they reached what was written at the bottom of it. Noticing that the bassist's hands were shaking with fury as he folded the paper neatly, the drummer couldn't help but wonder what was written on that paper. "To--"
"Where's Kaoru?" the bassist interrupted in a cold voice, as he pocketed the now-folded-paper.
"In the dressing ro--" and before Shinya could finish, Toshiya was already making his way to said room.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Well, I'm glad you got it together with Shinya," Kaoru said, genuinely happy for his best friend but at the same time couldn't help feeling sorry for himself.
"Thanks," Die blushed, then noticing the sadness in the pink-head's eyes, tactfully changed the subject. "Wonder what's taking Totchi so long?"
At that same moment, the door swung open revealing Shinya and an unusually calm and... *cold*.. Toshiya.
"Speaking of the devil, here he is!" Die announced in a joking manner. "Welcome! Come in! Come in!"
Kaoru's soft laughter in response to Die antics served to add fuel to the bassist's rage. In five purposeful strides, Toshiya was in front of Kaoru. And before anyone could begin to perceive what was happening, the bassist had raised his fist and slammed it into Kaoru jaw with all the strength he could muster, successfully knocking the guitarist out of his seat.
"You ASSHOLE!" Toshiya screamed, grabbing the stunned guitarist by the collar of his shirt. "HOW can you be so FUCKING HEARTLESS??!!" Another fist came down onto the guitarist's already injured face.
By this point, the shock that Dir en grey's pretty bassist is initiating a physical fight with Dir en grey's leader has worn off some, and the remaining two members remembered to pull the outraged Toshiya away from Kaoru.
"Shinya, go check on Kaoru," Die commanded as he placed a firmer grip on the bassist to compensate for the loss of the drummer's assistance. "Toshiya! Calm down!"
"Let me go, Daisuke!" Toshiya growled.
//He's using my full name, this cannot be good...//
"No! Not if you're gonna keep hurting Kaoru!" Die stated firmly.
"Hurting Kaoru?! HURTING KAORU??!!" Toshiya's voice turned sarcastically incredulous. "What about hurting Kyo??" the bassist demanded angrily.
"What are you talking about?" Kaoru shouted, finally regained enough senses to become angry.
"How could you do that to Kyo?? He gave you his heart and soul! Even though you may not feel the same, it doesn't give you the right to trample on them as if they aren't worth shit!" the bassist screamed, struggling to free himself.
"I didn't trample on anything of Kyo's! I LOVE him! God dammit!"
"Love? If your idea of love is to hurt him, then keep it to yourself! I was so STUPID! I thought that you were a kind and loving person despite your appearance... God! I'm as much at fault for hurting Kyo as you are! If I hadn't urged him to confess, then he wouldn't have been hurt..."
"C-confess?" Kaoru's voice all of a sudden quieted down. "To...*me*??"
"Don't act like you don't know!" Toshiya spat out. "I saw what you did to the letter Kyo wrote to you!"
"Letter?... What letter? I've- I never got any letter! Not from Kyo!"
"Don't try to act innocent!" Toshiya hissed venomously, finally wrenching himself free of Die's grasp. "What do you call this?!" the bluehead demanded, pulling out that folded piece of crinkled paper, and throwing it onto Kaoru's face.
The guitarist, filled with an odd sense of anticipation but at the same time, dread, managed to catch the letter before it glided to the floor.
"Shinya asked if I had a death wish when he found me standing outside dress like this," Toshiya said, gesturing at his attire.
Kaoru hands shook as he unfolded it...
Turning to Shinya, the bassist continued, "What you don't know is that I was outside like this because I was trying to find our vocalist, whom disappeared into the night dressed in clothing that provides as much protection against the cold as mine can!"
Hearing that, Kaoru's eyes, wide with fear, shot to Toshiya's....
"If I had 'some sort of death wish' standing out there for only a few minutes," the bluehead went on, voice cracking, but eyes unwaveringly met Kaoru's gaze. "Then Kyo's out there catching his death...!" With that said, Toshiya finally let out the tears he's been holding, collapsing into a crying heap onto the floor.
Die and Shinya looked at each other helplessly, unsure of what to do.
"Kaoru," Die ventured after a few seconds. "I'll go lo--"
"I'm going out to look for Kyo!" Kaoru interrupted suddenly, throwing on a heavy coat. "You guys stay here and take care of Toshiya."
"Kaoru!" Toshiya called as the guitarist was stepping out of the room. When the pink-head turned around to face the bassist, he continued in a softer voice, "Please, bring Kyo back..."
"I will Totchi." A pause. "I love him!" And the guitarist was out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~
<Kaoru,
I don't know how-- or even when-- my feelings for you has turned from friendship... to something more.>
"Kyo~!" Kaoru shouted into the night. "Ky--!" the second cry was cut off by a sob.
//Don't worry Kaoru, this is a city.... Kyo probably went back to the hotel...// Kaoru tried to convince himself as he ran back to the hotel they were staying at.
<Am I scaring you?>
"Excuse me, but has my friend, the blond guy staying in room 216, returned yet?" Kaoru breathlessly asked the man at the counter.
"I'm sorry, I just started my shift so I don't know," the man replied. "Sakurako-san!" the man called to the lady next to him. "Have you seen the blond gentleman staying in room 216?"
"The kawaii little man that always tries to look scary?" she asked.
"Erm... I don--"
"Yes!" Kaoru interrupted.
" No I'm sorry," she told Kaoru with an apologetic smile.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure," she blushed. "Because I've been trying to spot him the whole night..."
//He's not here!//
//You knew he wouldn't be here... you should know Kyo enough by now to know he's the type that hides himself from the world when he's hurting-- //
//WHERE IS HE?!?!// Kaoru screamed in his mind as stepped out of the hotel.
<Haha...I hope not. I've been hiding these feelings for so long that I thought...>
Kaoru ran up and down the streets looking for signs of the blond vocalist. The freezing air burned his nostrils with every breath he intakes, and little puffs of steam clouds form at every with every breath he exhales.
He searched every big street and scouted every dark alley for Kyo, *his* Kyo, but to no avail.
//Kyo,... where are you?//
Another empty dark alley.
// I didn't know you feel the same! I never saw your letter!!//
A plead that no one can hear.
//I should have told you my feelings when I had the chance! I'm such a coward!//
Another street without any signs of Kyo's unruly blond hair.
//What if... something happened to...!!//
Kaoru picked up his pace. //I have to find Kyo! I have to find him and tell him my feelings are the same!//
//He HAS to be okay!//
<maybe it's time I told the truth... I love you.>
Tears stung at the corners of the pink-haired man's eyes as the night turned colder. The last strand of hope he had was that maybe Kyo had sense enough to find somewhere indoors to hide,...but he had a sinking feeling he wouldn't.
<I hope I haven't ruined our friendship in aspiring for a deeper relationship between the two of us.>
Kaoru was openly crying by now, a growing sense of loss spreading within him as he continued his near-frantic search. With his vision blurred by tears, Kaoru had narrowly missed knocking someone over in his haste.
"Gomen..."
"Kaoru?!" the figure gasped, backing away.
//That voice...//
"Kyo!" Kaoru cried out with relief, blinking away his tears.
At the sound of that name, the vocalist turned around and broke into a run....but not for long.
To Kaoru's surprise and horror, Kyo's legs buckled under him in only a few steps distance. Luckily, the guitarist managed to catch the unconscious blond just before he hit the pavement.
<I'll understand if you don't feel the same,... but if you value our friendship as much as I do...please, we need to talk things out.... I will be what you want me to be and act as you dictate, but if you ignore me...I will know to disappear from your life ...>
All the members of Dir en grey were crowding around the frail looking blond sleeping in the large white hospital bed, intently watching the bed's occupant for any signs of waking up... and they weren't disappointed.
"Kyo-chan!" the bassist was first to cried out happily as the vocalist's eyes began to flutter open. Soon, other sounds of relief was made by the other members... all except one, and he was the one Kyo was ignoring.
Soon, the doctor and the nurses came, informing the patient how lucky he had been having only came down with a fever and that he needed plenty of rest to restore his lost strength. A few more words were exchanged between concerned bandmates with the doctor regarding the vocalist's health before the doctor and the nurses finally left.
The rest of Dir en grey, minus a certain pink head, resumed their inquiry of the blond's comfort, and statement of relief and gratitude over his safe return.... all of which were answered with taciturn remarks interspersed with coughs, and a dead gaze.
Finally, the pink-haired guitarist, in a not so subtle manner, signaled for the others to leave. And one by one they did, parting with wishes for Kyo to get well soon.
As soon as the door shut with a soft click, the blond occupant of the bed immediately burrowed himself deeper into the blanket ad sheets, turning onto his side so that his back was facing the guitarist.
"Kyo..."
Silence.
Suddenly angry, Kaoru all but stomped to the bed and forcefully turned Kyo onto his back so that the vocalist now faced him. Ignoring the blond's involuntary gasp of surprise, the guitarist began his tirade.
"Do you have a death wish?? I was worried SICK for you! Everyone was! What the HELL were you THINKING wandering the streets in the freezing night, dressed in only your costume?! "
//The cold numbed me from feeling the pain in my heart...//
"What?" Kaoru voice suddenly turned soft, eyes widening.
//God! Have I said that out loud?!// Kyo thought, looking away. "Nothing..." he whispered.
A moment of silence.
Kaoru opened his mouth to speak, but Kyo beat him to it. "What do you want Kaoru?"
The guitarist found himself unable to answer that question when he saw the amount of pain reflected on Kyo's face.
"You message was clear enough when I found it.... Yet you brought me back." The vocalist looked directly into Kaoru's eyes. "I don't get it, what do you want from me??"
"I- I um... you?" Fear made the usually poised man stutter, praying to all the powers that be that this misunderstanding will not wrench the petite vocalist from him.
"I don-"
"I want you!" Kaoru stated firmly, blushing like crazy but doing all he can to keep himself from looking away from Kyo's searching eyes. He knew the vocalist would need to confirm that he meant what he said himself.
Though finding nothing but sincerity, Kyo still had his doubts, // but the letter...//
"I never got the letter!" Kaoru rushed to explain, as if sensing the unspoken question. Silence hung in the air, and because of that Kaoru continued to relate the story of how he finally got the letter in order to fill in that void. "I was so shocked when Totchi threw the letter in my face," Kaoru laughed nervously. "You can't imagine how happy I was as I read it, then Totchi told us that you disappeared into the freezing night with only your costume, and I was suddenly filled with a sense of dread. I was afraid of losing you before I even fully found you," Kaoru's eye's met Kyo's. "The only thought on my mind as I searched the streets of Osaka was you, where you could possibly be, and your letter... I wished desperately then, that I had had the courage to tell you my feelings before, then none of this would have happened! I hated myself then and I ha--"
"That's enough Kaoru," Kyo said in a tired voice.
//He doesn't want me anymore...!// the terrifying thought crossed Kaoru's mind.
"I'm tired ne..." the blond continued, scooting away from where Kaoru sat on the bed.
"I- I understand, " Kaoru replied, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. "I guess I'll lea--"
"Won't you cuddle with me?" Kyo interrupted with a tired but sweet smile. "I need a teddy bear," he pouted, opening his blanket invitingly.
A slight frown crinkled the vocalist's brows when the guitarist made no move to get into bed. "Get in here before you make me catch something deadly!" the blond commanded with a pout.
Kaoru's face lit up with a silly grin when what Kyo is really saying sunk in...
<No matter what though, I will never stop loving you...
~Kyo >
[Epilogue]
"Ne, Kao-chan," the vocalist said with a yawn as he felt himself being pulled into a tighter embrace by his friend-now-turned-lover. "What happened to your face?" he asked fingering the two bruises on the pink head's face.
The guitarist winced slightly. "Let's just say... never piss our pretty bassist off."
"Hmm..." Kyo responded sleepily. "Wait a sec, TOTCHI?" Kyo exclaimed, suddenly very much awake. "Are you telling me that TOTCHI hit you?"
"Kyo, koi, not now...rest," Kaoru tried to get off the hook.
"But I wanna know~~~!" came the whining tone.
A sigh.
"Pretty please~~?"
The pink head can already feel a major headache building....
~~Owari!~~
::bows:: please R&R!! ::begging on hands and knees::
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