Close To You

-Hikaru-

Part 11

**

Yumi played with a strand of her hair, sipping at her drink while gazing at the nervous Die intently. She hadn’t shifted her gaze for the past few minutes and the red head was beginning to feel a bit intimidated.

" Yumi.., well," Die scratched the back of his head.

There was just no way he could really just say out loud that he didn’t like her without hurting her feelings. And even if he had wanted to say it anyways, he couldn’t find a way to really just open his mouth to speak those words. Yup, he was as clammed up as he could get, practically chewing away on his long hair.

He glanced back at Yumi and realized she was holding onto his words from before.

" Well.., Yumi," Die started again.

He was cut off this time though when the young girl leaned in towards him and brushed her lips quickly over his. She withdrew easily but the brief touch had startled the man, making him scutter back, almost falling from his chair.

" Y- Yumi.. I..," Die felt himself stammering. " I, that is, we.. I mean you.. Shinya.. I.."

The blond girl sighed.

" Die, for someone who could be so canny with jokes you sure don’t know much about rejecting girls."

Die gulped. Were his prayers actually answered? Did Yumi just speak his words? His intended words? Did he no longer need to say them?

" Umm.. excuse me?" Die pulled his seat back to the table, though leaning back against the chair, not wanting anymore contact with the girl.

Despite his efforts to keep away from her touch, she switched into the seat where Shinya had sat before, taking his shaking hand in hers. Yumi chuckled at his nervousness, sighing woefully afterwards.

" Oh Die.., why was it you that I had to fall for?" Yumi looked up at him, her eyes searching. " Why did I have to fall for someone so unreachable?"

Again, his mind was a total blank.

" Well..," Die picked at his words, trying to find a logical answer to her question.

He felt her hands tighten on his. Looking at the girl again, he noticed that she had lowered her head, her blond hair covering her face like the veil of a moon. Her shoulders were slightly shaking and he feared that she was starting to cry. Fortunately for him though, there were no sounds or a slight indication of a sob and she remained quiet.

After awhile, Yumi looked up again, shaking back her hair so that they were not covering her eyes. She offered him a wistful smile.

" You’re with Shinya, I can see that clearly. You love him, don’t you?"

This was one question he knew he could answer,

" Yes."

A sigh.

" And he loves you?"

Again, he was confident with his answer.

" Yes."

Yumi tilted her head to one side, taking in the sight before her, wanting so much to have him hold her in his warm arms.

" And I love you." She managed to whisper out.

" Y--," Die stopped himself. His eyes widened at her confession.

‘ No! You’re just supposed to have a silly crush on me! You’re not supposed to love me, Yumi!’

Die felt as if though the situation was growing steadily worse.

" Where does that leave me, Die-kun?" She continued, her voice lower than a whisper now. " I love you so much.. but you only love him, don’t you?"

He realized that his hand was still in her’s and quickly withdrew it, sighing as he gave his answer.

" I love him only, yes," Die forced himself to look into her tear-filled eyes, " I can’t love anyone else, I just know it. Even if he stops loving me, I’ll never stop loving him. He’s the only one for me."

Yumi nodded.

" I understand."

She stood up, pushing her chair back in a gesture that she would be leaving and he was to see her out. Die quickly followed suit, looking down at his hands, at his feet, anything other than her sorrowful expression. He loved her like a sister but she was nothing more than that, he couldn’t offer her more. It was impossible.

They walked towards the door.

" But…"

Die looked up only to feel her lips against his again. Her hand gently touched the back of his neck, running through his hair in a loving gesture she had dreamed of for so long. When she moved closer to press her body against his, she was pushed away gently, but firmly away. Their contact was broken. The red head could only hold his hand to his lips, shocked that someone could catch him off-guard twice.

Yumi smiled lop-sidedly.

" ..but..," she raised a finger to touch his lips then returned it to her own, " I’m set on changing your views, Die-kun. I won’t back down so easily."

She gave a wave then walked out of the restaurant’s door.

Die watched as she disappeared into the crowds, mentally bashing himself.

‘ You just couldn’t reject her totally, couldn’t you?!’

~~

Sugizo took a last sip from his coffee before making his way towards the front door.

" I’ll be working late tonight," he said, " There’s a bit of a problem with the accounting department and they *still* haven’t fixed it."

Jiro smiled, handing him his jacket.

" Don’t stress yourself out."

The pink haired man smiled at his lover, setting his jacket aside and gathering the young man close to him. The blond blushed at his sudden gesture but eased against him before he was released. He handed the jacket to Sugizo again.

" I’ll be going now. Ja!" Sugizo waved to his brother and Jiro, closing the door shut.

Jiro sighed and went to clean up the breakfast they all had just finished eating. He was about to take Teru’s plate away when he realized that the man was staring at him in a reproachful manner.

" What?" He questioned, picking up the empty plate and stacking them on the kitchen’s counter.

" You look like a housewife."

Jiro snorted, turning on the tap so that the water ran over the dirty dishes.

" At least I’m keeping this house clean- which is something both of you have neglected to do."

The blond was turned away from Teru so he didn’t catch the thoughtful look that had come across the dentist’s eyes.

" If you marry Sugizo, you’ll make a good wife, ne?" Teru spoke up, taking another sip of his coffee.

He could feel the pissed-off aura that was now radiating with extreme force from Jiro. The blond had turned around so that he was now facing Teru but his glare earned him no reaction. He decided to shrug the comment off.

" If you marry that girlfriend of yours, I’m sure you’ll make an excellent husband." Jiro retorted, turning back to his dishes.

Teru’s grip on his mug could’ve smashed it to pieces on will.

Jiro hummed a cheerful tune, not caring at all how his statement had hit the dentist. The brat of a man needed someone to give him his faults once in awhile. Stupidity really does whack the brain at times.

" What was *that* supposed to mean?" Teru narrowed his eyes at the blond’s back. " Was that meant to be sincere or sarcastic?"

Jiro whistled, wiping the plate he’d been washing, putting it away before turning his head to glance at the enrage Teru.

" You decide. You know everything, ne?" Jiro gave a contempt smirk before turning to wiping more plates and mugs.

" I know a lot more than you do." Teru stood up from where he’d been sitting, stomping over to where Jiro was finishing off the last of the dishes. " Did you hear? I know *a lot* more than you do!"

" I’m sure." Jiro shrugged, wiping his hands before turning completely to regard the older man. " And what might you know more than me?"

" For one thing, that stupid brother of mine isn’t all that you’re making him out to be!" Teru spat out, still mad.

Jiro chuckled.

" I must’ve really touched a nerve with your girlfriend there.. You’re totally pissed off."

" I could say the same thing about you." Teru sneered back. " Were you really planning to marry my brother?"

Hurt flashed momentarily in Jiro’s eyes.

" What would you know of my plans?"

" What would you know of my capability?" Teru retorted.

Jiro gripped the rag in his hand, flinging it onto the counter top, next to the dried dishes. He gave a sigh and looked pleadingly at Teru.

" Listen, I don’t want to fight with you." Jiro shook his head. " I don’t like fighting with anyone. If my being here bothers you so much, I’ll start looking for another place to crash. I don’t want you to be so.. unbearable."

His gaze turned soft.

" You striked me as a very nice person."

Teru was taken aback by Jiro’s words. He was dumbfounded for a moment, unable to find any wise words of anything kind to return to the young man. He dug his hands into his pockets, lowering his head as he walked away.

" I guess your first impression was wrong- I’m not a very nice person. I was the one who started the fight anyways." Teru shrugged. " You don’t need to look for someplace else to stay. I don’t want Sugizo to be noisy when he finds out you’re moving out because of me."

Jiro nodded, staying quiet before deciding he should probably say something to end their conversation.

" Arigatou ne. For accepting me into your home."

Teru looked back, the anger within him dissipating slowly.

" My pleasure."

~~

Toshiya awoke next to Hisashi. Stretching himself to be rid of the ache in his back, he noticed that they had fallen asleep on the living room sofa. He smiled a small smile and gently tried to lay the sleeping man into a more comfortable position. Hisashi immediately awoke.

Yawning, he too stretched his arms.

" Is it morning already?"

Toshiya smiled at the adorable sight.

" It’s way past morning. I’ve got to get ready for work."

Hisashi rubbed at his eyes and glanced up at the clock. He mumbled something before lying back against the sofa.

" Ne, Tono-chan, don’t you need to get to work too?" Toshiya tried to nudge the man awake again.

" Break..," Hisashi mumbled, pushing away Toshiya’s hands.

Toshiya smiled.

KNOCK!KNOCK!

He turned to the door.

" I’m coming!"

Hisashi looked up from his half- awake state of sleepiness.

" Who is it?"

" Wait a sec, I’m not there yet!" Toshiya laughed then opened the door. His eyes widened, " Shinya!"

The auburn haired man gave him an odd look.

" Toshiya?"

Arms wrapped around the slender model and Shinya’s eyes widened when he realized that Jiro’s brother was hugging Toshiya in what looked like a more-than-brothers-can’t-you-see-we’re-lovers hug.

" Hisashi-san?" Shinya tried his voice, feeling a bit unsure of the whole situation. " Am I disturbing anything?"

The smaller man shook his head then turned to the both of them.

" You two know each other?"

Toshiya and Shinya exchanged glances.

" You could say that."

" Yeah, that’s sorta true."

Hisashi shrugged, holding the door open for Shinya to enter.

" That takes care of the introductin then. If you’re looking for Jiro though he’s not—"

" Uh, I know, that’s why I’m here." Shinya turned to the both of them. " But now I guess I understand a bit of what’s going on."

Toshiya gave him a look that clearly said ‘Please don’t tell him anything!’ before he quickly placed a kiss on Hisashi’s forehead.

" I’ve got to get ready for work!"

Hisashi nodded, sleep still in his system. He gave a tired looking smile at Shinya.

" How can I help you?"

Shinya bit his lips.

~~

Ami sat inside her bedroom, covers up to her chest, feeling miserable. She couldn’t turn up for work today. Not in the state she was in. A picture on her nightstand caught her attention and she took it in her hands.

A picture of herself in Teru’s embrace, both of them smiling like old lovers into the camera.

Feeling fury, Ami threw the picture at the mirror in front of her, wincing when the glass broke like the tears that had just stopped flowing from her eyes. Sobbing, she drew up the covers tighter around her, burying her face into them.

" Teru…"

~~

Die woke up, feeling alone. He reached for Shinya but when all he felt was empty sheets his eyes instantly flew open and he was suddenly wide awake. He looked around the room for any signs of his beloved but there was only silence to greet him.

Letting out a sigh, he grudgingly got out of bed. He noticed a note taped onto Shinya’s drawer. The flashing neon color was not to be missed.

All dread left him when he read the simple but relieving note:

Dear Die,

Of course he’d meet Shinya that night. He’d meet that auburn haired beauty every night if he could help it.

Grinning, the red head sauntered off to the kitchen and sure enough there were sausages and eggs on the table. He poked at them a little and decided that they needed to be heated just as Shinya had predicted.

First though, he needed to get himself cleaned up.

~~

Toshiya walked into the building, nodding at the people who stopped to bow respectfully. He tried to rush up to the top floor as quickly as possible but he knew that he was already late enough as it was. The platform ankle-cut boots he was wearing didn’t help his rush so much either.

He sighed in relief when the elevator doors finally opened to reveal the main office. He was greeted by his worried looking boss.

" What’s wrong, sir?" Toshiya strode up to him, trying not to bend over too much. He didn’t realize that he was towering over a lot of people.

" Thank goodness you’re here Toshimasa!" The man grabbed Toshiya’s wrist and pulled him to his office. " Your sponsor from France just flew in today and had been demanding to see you."

Toshiya felt his heart drop into a pit of darkness.

‘ France..?’

The door to the office opened.

‘ No.. not now.. ‘

Revealing a pacing purple head man, the man he’d been striving to leave in his nightmares.

‘ Hisashi…’

" Kaoru-san! Toshimasa is here!" His boss announced.

~~

" So.. Teru…," Jiro started, " How are you and.. um.. Ami, is it?"

The two of them, Jiro and Teru, were seated in front of the television set. Teru was sprawled on the sofa, claiming all space to himself, while Jiro sat below him, hugging his knees to his chest. They had been watching the black box in silence for awhile, allowing for the only sounds to come between them to be from the inanimate object. Afterawhile though, even the sounds from the television weren’t enough to fill in their lack of conversation.

Afterall, when two people who had once been thrown together meet again and be left alone in a house, they would want to know of each other’s happenings.

" Ami and I..," Teru looked as if though he was pondering over the topic. " I don’t know. She doesn’t want to see me now. But I know she loves me.. I just don’t know how I feel for her. At times I feel as if though I do.. but then.. I feel as if though I’m lying to her."

" Sou ka..," Jiro looked back at Teru, " Did she not want to see you because of Toshiya?"

Teru heaved a big sigh.

" Sort of. She said I’ve been keeping too many things from her. She says she doesn’t really understand me."

" Well, have you?"

" Have I what?"

" Been keeping things from her?" Jiro inquired.

Teru shrugged.

" I don’t know. There are just some things I wished for her not to know about."

" But if you were once involved with someone, a man- nonetheless, who you thought you had loved, it makes sense to let her know something about it." Jiro turned back towards the television. " Some surprises aren’t very welcomed."

" Well, how was I supposed to say that to her?" Teru mumbled, pouting like a spoiled child. " I couldn’t really say that I loved another man before her, could I?"

" If you care about her, you should let her know straight out. So that she won’t be mislead." Jiro said.

Teru grinned, unbeknownst to Jiro.

" You talk as if though you were a girl yourself."

Jiro leaned back so that he could look up into Teru’s mischievious eyes.

" You know what? I’ve had enough of you talking about me like I’m a weak girl. I’m a guy too, you know?"

Teru smiled.

" I know."

~~

Shinya sat across from Hisashi, just finished listening to the whole story behind his relationship with Toshiya. The auburn head man gave a sigh as he was finally given the full insight to what was going on.

" So… Toshiya’s the one who left you for another person?"

Hisashi nodded.

" And you’re willing to forgive him for that?"

Hisashi started to nod but stopped in mid-way. He gave a thoughtful look as if though thinking hard about the question. Then, he smiled gently at Shinya.

" Shinya, if the person you loved cheated on you, how would you feel?"

Shinya instantly thought about Die and tried to imagine him cheating on him. The thought was ridiculous since he couldn’t imagine such a thing. He knew the red head was straight forward with everything towards him and wouldn’t hide anything nor would he do anything to hurt him. Die was just that sort of guy.

But then.. if the inevitable did happen and he found out that Die cheated on him…

Shinya closed his eyes, giving a shudder.

" I’d feel like dying."

Hisashi nodded.

" That’s how I felt when I saw Totchi on the front cover of a magazine, in the arms of another man. Now, when the person you love left you…"

" I really would die." Shinya answered the unfinished question. " I would cease to exist."

" But what if fate is kind to you and brings that love back to you?" Hisashi prompted. " Would you accept that person then?"

Imagining Die away from him was torture enough, having him return after… It would be bliss.

" Yes." Shinya breathed out the answered, wrapping his arms around himself.

" Would you be willing to forgive your love?"

" Of course!" Shinya answered immediately and then realized that he was answering his own question for Hisashi. He lowered his head. " I see.."

Hisashi sat back against the sofa, mug of hot Nescafe in his hands.

" I couldn’t let Totchi leave again.. you said it yourself, it would be like dying all over again. Ceasing to exist. I just want the person I love with me."

Shinya nodded.

‘ His pain.. it’s so deep.. they’re still clear in his eyes..,’ Shinya shuddered again, ‘ I hope I’ll never have to experience that.. to have Die.. no, no. Die would never cheat on me. He’d never.’

~~

Teru leaned over Jiro.

" So.. how are things between you and my brother?"

The movie they had been watching had just come to an end. The two were cleaning up on the popcorn and chocolate wrappers. Again, silence had befallen them and again, they were in need of conversation. The only topic that seemed to be in the knowledge of both people were their own relationships.

Jiro smiled up at the question.

" Can’t you see for yourself?"

" You’re happy with him?"

" Haii." Jiro gave a nod.

" My brother can really charm the people he wants." Teru muttered beneath his breath.

The blond chuckled.

" It wasn’t his charm that attracted me to him, Teru-san. It was his sanctuary. The protection he offered and gave to me. I found it very attractive and comforting."

" His sanctuary…," Teru repeated, " Protection from what?"

Jiro looked up from picking up the bits of trash lying around, not quite meeting Teru’s eyes before bending down to take more wrappers in his hands.

" From.. everything." Jiro answered as truthfully as possible.

‘ I can’t really say…’

" From me?"

Jiro stood up slowly, throwing the trash he had taken into a nearby plastic bag. He closed his eyes and hoped he didn’t look too shaken. Teru had a way of shaking his nerves, wrecking them, poking about them at his own will.

" Like I said, from everything." Jiro gestured around. " From my life, from insecurities, from threats, from unwanted thoughts, from.."

" From me?" Teru repeated.

The blond bit his lip. He looked down. He couldn’t really acknowledge that fact. He stared at his feet only to realize that Teru was walking up to him.

Instinctively, Jiro took several steps back.

Teru gave the man a thorough look before placing a hand on the slightly trembling shoulders.

" You need protection from me?"

Jiro pulled back from Teru’s touch, looking up so that he could see the emotionless mask the handsome man before him was wearing. He reached up to touch where Teru’s hand had been, as if though afraid there was poison that could seep into his body.

" Yes.." Jiro choked before recovering, his eyes aflame. " I need protection from you. You! You, out of all people! Because, goddamnit, I just can’t shelter myself from you! I just can’t! I thought I can.. I *tell* myself I can, but I can’t! Fuck it, I can’t!"

Teru gave him a searching look before sighing.

" Well, your shelter isn’t here now. How do you feel about that?"

Jiro trembled involuntarily.

" What do you mean?"

Even though he felt as if though Teru had just once again, stolen into his deepest thoughts, he needed to keep his voice calm. To keep himself within his own control.

" Sugizo. My brother. Your lover. He’s not here. Your sanctuary, is not here." Teru said slowly. " How do you feel being with me, when he’s not around?"

Jiro took another step back. Should he tell the truth or lie? Either way, Teru would see right through him. Just like Sugizo, the other man could read his mind easily.

" Like I’m facing storm." Jiro willed himself to say. " Like I’m about to be drowned."

Teru opened his mouth, about to say something when Jiro waved a hand.

" But, like in a storm, I always try to swim for shore. I don’t surrender to it easily." Jiro narrowed his eyes. " I fight back."

There was a flash of memories. Teru remembered this Jiro as the one he’d first encountered in his clinic. The frightened man who was afraid of a simple check-up. The one whom he had invited for a vacation. The one whom he had had a rush of feelings for in such a short amount of time.

" Really?" Teru took several steps and easily covered the distance between them, wrapping his arms around the startled blond. " Would you fight me now?"

Jiro’s eyes widened as Teru closed the remaining gap, his lips lightly skimming his at first. Jiro didn’t know why, but he felt his arms travelling upward to wrap themselves around Teru’s neck, holding him closer. And for another reason unknown, he found himself urging the other man to deepen the kiss. They lips touched each other’s gently, swiftly, like winds playing with each other, then there was tongue, caressing the other with such care, a whisper of desired longings, surpressed feelings…

Teru diverted his attention towards Jiro’s neck when the other man had tilted his head back to moan softly at the kisses. Just as their shared kisses had been, Teru gently placed his lips on the soft skin, trailing the kisses down the pale neck, unconcsiously pushing Jiro onto the sofa they had just arose from. Jiro pouted slightly when their contact broke but Teru claimed his lips again, pressing against the moistened area with all the passion he’d been holding back. Jiro’s hands travelled from the back of Teru’s neck to his shirt, trying to tug them off, unsuccessfully.

The dentist chuckled, about to help the young man with his task when the door next to them suddenly bursted open.

" JIRO, I’M HOME~~~~"

Sugizo stared at the sight before him.

Jiro and Teru looked up from their engagement, shocked at the sudden interruption.

" Su.. Su- Sugizo! You’re home!" Jiro quickly wiped his mouth as Teru hastily backed away from him. " You said you’d be late!"

He immediately regretted saying those words.

" So I did." Sugizo’s face was a replica of ice. One that Jiro had never seen before. " Thank God I came back early, or not I would have missed a wonderful.. production."

**

End of Part 11