Close to You

by Hikaru

**

Part 6

**

“ I could never imagine you as a cook.” Shinya said, looking over the counter to where Toshiya was busy mixing ingredients in a bowl.

“ Hm?” Toshiya looked up from his work, a lock of blue hair falling in front of his eye. “ Well.. I’m not really a cook.. I just used to be a waiter here.. but I do know how to make a few of the recipes here.”

“ I bet they taste horrible.” Shinya smiled crookedly.

Toshiya looked up again, sending a glare at the auburn-haired man. Shinya laughed at his expression, taking a seat next to where the model-turned-cook-for-the-day was working.

“ Toshiya-kun can cook!” Kiki spoke up, suddenly appearing by Shinya’s side.

“ Oh really?” Shinya smiled at the young girl, “ Are you living proof?”

Kiki nodded.

“ Before he left for France he used to cook for me all the time!”

“ He really is a nice big brother… isn’t he?” Shinya looked pointedly at Toshiya while saying this.

The blue-head bit his lip before turning to smile at his ‘little sister’.

“ Kiki-chan, could you leave Shinya and I alone for awhile? I need to speak with him.”

The girl shrugged.

“ I need to go see to the people outside anyways….,” she looked at Toshiya then at Shinya, then back to her older brother again, “ Don’t fight!”

“ We won’t!” The two chorused as the girl walked out of the kitchen.

Shinya shook his head at Toshiya.

“ So now we’re gonna talk about Teru, am I right?”

“ That’s why I came to you in the first place.” Toshiya replied curtly.

He looked down at the bowl and nodded to himself, as if though satisfied with it. Toshiya carried the bowl over to Shinya and held it out for the other man to look at. Shinya obediently did so and saw that Toshiya wasn’t intending to cook anything; he had been making chocolate chip cookie dough.

“ You said you wanted to eat, right? I make the best chocolate chip cookie doughs ever so… eat up!” Toshiya was still holding out the bowl to Shinya. “ What’s wrong? You don’t want to try it?”

Shinya sighed and stuck a finger out, poking at the dough before bringing back a goop of it to his lips. He smiled upon tasting it and nodded his head, his eyes clearly showing his delight. Toshiya returned the smile and reached into his apron, taking out two large spoons. He gave one to Shinya before sitting himself on the counter.

“ So… about Teru?” Shinya asked through a mouthful of cookie dough.

“ I want to know…,” Toshiya hesitated. “ I want to know how Teru’s relationship with Jiro is.”

~~

Jiro looked around. His fingers were twiddling themselves in a nervous manner, his feet hitting the leg of the stool he was sitting on. Raking a hand through his honeyed-hair, his expression grew even more nervous.

‘ Where is he?’

As if on cue, two hands closed themselves over his eyes.

“ Sugizo!” Jiro turned, glad that his wait was finally over.

His smile immediately fell once he saw that it was not Sugizo, but none other than Teruhiko Kobashi.

“ Hello Jiro.” Teru’s face wasn’t smiling, his tone was clipped with practiced politeness. “ Waiting for my brother?”

He could feel his heart start to beat against his chest rapidly. Unable to look at the accusing glare Teru was directing at him, Jiro’s eyes travelled towards the pavement. With his head bent, he saw Teru’s hand reach for his face. He stood up reflexively, taking several steps back, bumping into a much more taller person.

Teru’s eyes narrowed.

“ Sugizo.”

Sugizo gave him a half-smile, draping an arm around Jiro’s waist.

“ What a coincidence to meet you here, dear brother.” Sugizo’s smile turned sickeningly sweet. He turned towards Jiro, his smile softening, “ Gomen ne, for making you wait.”

“ Iie… it’s alright.. iiyo..” Jiro managed to stutter out, still nervous from Teru’s prescence.

“ I’d love to chat with you but we’re going somewhere so…I’ll see you tonight.. ja!” Sugizo gave his younger brother a fast wink, steering Jiro towards the direction he came from.

Teru’s hand clenched into a fist from the sight.

‘ Damn you.’

~~

“ I’m really sorry…,” Sugizo murmured, his face serious, “ I didn’t know he’d show up.”

“ No, it’s really alright.” Jiro sighed, leaning against Sugizo. “ Let’s just go.”

Sugizo looked at Jiro for a moment, contemplating whether or not to say something. Shaking his head, he decided not to. Actions speak clearer anyways.

He leaned in and kissed Jiro’s lips briefly, smiling again as he drew back. He’d really grown to love the taste of Jiro.

“ Let’s go.”

~~

“ Die-kun!”

He perked up at the voice, smiling once he saw that it was no one other than Yumi herself.

“ Yumi, I thought you were working?” Die asked, shoving his hands into his pockets, walking towards her.

“ I was.. but then we closed early because our boss wanted to go see her son’s drama or whatever..,” Yumi shrugged. “ I was on my way to grab myself some lunch… and then I saw you..”

“ And here you are!” Die finished.

“ Here I am…,” Yumi’s voice trailed off, her eyes looked up at him bashfully, but the admiration that shone went unnoticed by the red-head.

“ I know a really great café near here… a friend of mine used to work there.” Die said. “ Wanna have lunch with me? I’m also starving.. can’t believe I’ve lasted so long..”

“ Sure!” Yumi agreed immediately. “ I wanted to ask you something about Teru-kun anyways. Ami was a bit upset this morning.”

Die tried not to look at the girl.

“ Upset?”

“ Hm.., she said something about Teru-kun mentioning someone named Jiro or Hiro or someone.. and she’s pretty worked up about it.” Yumi tried to make eye contact with him but Die didn’t seem to want to look at her. “ Do you have any idea what’s going on? I told her to calm down but..”

“ Jiro?” It took him every bit of practiced smiles to be able to say the man’s name so indifferently.

“ Haii, I think that’s his name anyways.. or maybe he’s a she.. Teru-kun’s really difficult when it comes to gender..” Yumi shook her head.

Die couldn’t help but grin at her comment but he stuck to the answer he had planned.

“ I’ve never heard of him.” Die shrugged nonchalently.

It was better that Jiro didn’t have anything to do with Teru anymore, Die thought to himself. It would create a lot of problems if Ami knows about his relationship with Teru.

Still trying to smile as naturally as he could,

“ So, still up for that café trip?”

~~

“ Jiro?” Shinya’s voice was a bit muffled by his stuffed mouth. “ Why are you interested?”

Toshiya gave him a tired look.

“ Don’t ask me that, you know why.”

He shook his head.

“ No, I don’t. Tell me.”

The model sighed, looking even more tired.

“ I love Teru, ‘kay?” His eyes flashed with pain, “ Before I became obsessed with my career, we used to be really happy. I was contented just to be with him, but then I got my offer and things changed.”

His shoulders slumped, making him bend forward towards Shinya.

“ But that doesn’t mean I don’t love him anymore, I still do and I need to know who’s taking my place with him.” There was a deep sorrow in his voice that touched Shinya. “ Jiro looks real nice and all but I want to know if he’s making Teru happy.”

He then looked up suddenly, a wistful smile appearing on his face.

“ That is, if Jiro and Teru are together. That’s why I want to know about their relationship.”

Shinya licked the dough on his finger, thinking for awhile.

“ Well, you don’t seem as cocky as I made you out to be so I’m just gonna tell you now while I still like you.” He paused. “ There’s nothing between Jiro and Teru. Well, something happened but they’re not together or anything.”

There was silence and then Toshiya’s tired look completely disappeared, replaced by one of utter relief.

“ Really?”

Shinya rolled his eyes.

“ Baka, why would I lie to you?”

“ Well, you don’t really like me all that much…” Toshiya’s voice trailed off, his tone still happy.

“ True, but I just told you that I like you right now.” Shinya pointed out, nodding at Toshiya. “ So just trust me.”

“ Alright.” He also nodded.

~~

“ Here we are.” Die looked around, as if though trying to find someone. “ Ah! Kiki-chan!”

The girl looked up upon hearing her name before a wide smile crossed her face.

“ Die-kun! You’re also back!” The girl rushed hurriedly into Die’s open arms.

He gave her a bear hug, covering her small body with all his warmth. Yumi had a peaceful look, gazing at them from afar.

“ Yup, I’m back…,” he stopped short, “ What do you mean ‘also’?”

“ Toshiya-kun came back today too!” Kiki looked absolutely pleased. “ He’s in the kitchen with a friend of his… I think he’s a guy but he’s so pretty!”

‘ A pretty guy? Could it be….?’

“ Kiki-chan, talk to my friend Yumi for a sec, ‘kay? I wanna go see Totchi.”

Without waiting for a response, Die made a run for the kitchen.

Kiki watched after Die, not understanding why he was in such a rush to meet her Toshiya-kun. Maybe he also missed him the way she missed her brother. Thinking that that was the cause for his mad dash, she looked up at the person Die had brought.

“ Are you Die-kun’s girlfriend?” She asked straight-forwardly.

Yumi was taken aback by the question but recovered quickly. She smiled at the girl.

“ I hope to be.”

~~

“ You know, what you’ve said has taken a lot of my shoulders.” Toshiya exhaled loudly, stretching his arms. “ I feel so much better now!”

Shinya smiled at his childish behavior, still devouring the cookie dough. Toshiya caught his eye then walked up to him, placing a hand on Shinya’s shoulder.

“ I’m really grateful…” Toshiya looked at him seriously.

He nodded, his mouth still full to be able to respond correctly.

“ Let me thank you in the only way I know how to..”

~~

Die found the kitchen, about to burst through the doors, when he saw Toshiya. Then he saw Shinya and smiled in spite of himself, he had been right! It was just fate bringing the two of them together!

But then his smile fell when he saw Toshiya lean into Shinya, his lips covering the other man’s completely.

~~

Shinya closed his eyes, letting the feel of Toshiya’s lips against his reach his senses. It was a warm feeling, a strange sensation, an impulsive act no one had ever acted on him. As Toshiya’s lips pressed harder on his, he didn’t know what else to do other than to respond.

Reaching a hand up to push away the blue hair that had been tickling his cheek, he parted his lips, allowing the feel of Toshiya’s tongue into his mouth.

~~

His heart practically dropped into his stomach, dissolved into nothingness. Die watched as the two kissed on, completely unaware that they were being watched; or uncaring if they were being watched or not. He wanted to step back and run, he wanted to leave the sight before him, but for some strange reason, his feet wouldn’t obey his mind and he was rooted to the spot.

He heard a low moan escape Toshiya’s lips as Shinya’s kiss deepened.

‘ Get out. Now.’ His mind told him.

‘ I can’t….’ he felt himself protesting weakly.

‘ Get out! Don’t do this to yourself!’ His mind practically shouted to him, making his ears ring from the mental thoughts.

“ Toshiya…”

Die looked up, noticing that they had broken apart. He wished so hard that what had happened was a mistake; it didn’t matter that he had seen Shinya responding willingly to Toshiya, it didn’t matter that he was saying the blue-head’s name with laced feelings,.. it didn’t matter! He just needed to know that it was a mistake.

~~

“ What was that for?” Shinya whispered words fell against Toshiya’s cheeks, his face resting against Toshiya’s own.

“ I told you… it was to thank you.” Toshiya replied, his own words breathy.

“ What a wonderful way to thank someone…,” Shinya’s hands cupped Toshiya’s face, admiring the man’s beauty for the first time, “ Mind if I return the thanks?”

Toshiya smiled, shaking his head slowly.

Shinya also smiled, pulling Toshiya’s face to his.

~~

“ Die-kun, what’re you looking at?”

Die was startled from his misery by the innocent question. He looked away from the door, noticing that Kiki was looking at him with a curious expression. She was holding onto Yumi’s hand; the picture they painted was one of mother and child. Die wanted to smile so badly at the beautiful artwork they would’ve made but his heart was still weighed down.

“ Die-kun?” Yumi’s voice carried worry.

He was about to shake his head when Kiki pushed past him, looking through the doors. She practically squealed with delight.

“ I knew that he was Toshiya-kun’s girlfriend! Or boyfriend…,” she shook her head, correcting herself, “ And Shinya-kun denied it… well, I have proof now..”

He saw her hand reach out, ready to push open the door. His eyes widened, he didn’t want to know what would happen should she interupt the two. But he was too late to stop her, she had already bursted into the kitchen, making both Toshiya and Shinya break apart from each other in a haste.

“ Toshiya-kun!” Kiki’s voice was absolutely innocent and playful. “ Why didn’t you tell me you had somone? I wouldn’t have minded you know?”

Both Toshiya and Shinya didn’t know what to make of the sudden interuption.

Shinya then noticed that there was another figure by the door. Red hair and those awfully hideous boots told all.

“ Die?” He whispered out.

Die grinned sheepishly.

“ Sorry to have interupted you two but Kiki insisted on entering.” His smile never wavered.

“ I..we…,” Shinya had the sudden urge to defend himself.

For what reason, he didn’t know. He knew that he had wanted to kiss Toshiya but having Die witnessed it was somehow… nerve-wrecking. He hadn’t wanted Die to know this had happened and yet…

Why didn’t he want Die to know anyways?

Shinya was starting to become confused.

“ I wasn’t ready I guess…,” Toshiya’s arm was placed on Shinya’s shoulder.

Again, Shinya couldn’t say anything intelligent. It was then that he saw that Die wasn’t alone. Standing by his side was a kawaii girl/woman (?) who was looking at him thoroughly.

He knew the girl from somewhere…

“ Die, hurry up will you! I need to go home too!”

Shinya turned towards the voice and saw an annoyed, but rather cute, girl looking out of her car window. Die waved to her, chuckling.

“ Wait a sec, Yumi, I’m almost done!” Die called out.

“ Who is she?” Shinya asked, curious.

“ Yumi? She… she’s a friend.” Die answered.

That girl Die was with that night!

‘ Was she really just a friend?’ Shinya suddenly felt protected by Toshiya’s arm. ‘ Or was she Die’s….. girlfriend?’

~~

A few minutes later, the café was closed for break and the five of them sat together around a table. Shinya was finishing his cookie dough silently, not looking up from his food. Toshiya wasn’t eating anything, chatting happliy with both Yumi and Kiki, his hand holding onto Shinya’s arm. The auburn-haired man didn’t seem to mind the touch, he was too lost in his own thoughts to really care. However, Die seemed to really care about the touch and had been eyeing Toshiya’s hand eversince it placed itself there.

‘ Why is he being so intimate with him?’ he fumed silently, still trying to keep his composure. ‘ They don’t even like each other!’

Toshiya laughed at a joke Kiki made, turning to Shinya and smiling up at him. Shinya seemed to snap out of his reverie just for that instant, returning the smile.

Die felt his heart twist in pain again. How could he stand being with them? His plan was for *him* to have Shinya… why couldn’t anything go right? Why did Toshiya have to get to him first? Didn’t he realize that this was *Shinya*, best friend of Jiro, who slept with Teru, ex-koibito of Toshiya? Why was Toshiya interested in him?

As Shinya laughed along with both Yumi and Kiki, he realized that there was nothing surprising about Toshiya falling for him.

His heart skipped a bit at the angelic face.

‘ He’s so beautiful…’ Die thought to himself longingly, wanting to reach out and touch the person in front of him, ‘ I wish he was mine…’

Shinya looked down at his watch, gasping as he realized the time.

“ Sumimasen! I’ve got to go…”

“ Now?” Kiki looked sad, her face scrunching up as if though not being able to stand the thought of him leaving.

‘ Yes, why now?’ Die wanted to say.

“ I need to get back, I promised to meet with someone tonight.” Shinya smiled easily. “ Thanks for lunch and it was really nice to meet you, Kiki-chan.”

She smiled happily upon hearing those words.

“ Come back here again anytime, Shinya-kun! And make sure Toshiya-kun doesn’t bully you.. he’s prone to doing that!”

Shinya laughed.

“ I’ll be sure of that.”

Toshiya pushed back his chair, also standing. Die raised an eyebrow. Was he following Shinya out?

“ I’ll walk you out, Shinya.” Toshiya offered.

“ Uhh.. no, it’s alright.” Shinya shook his head, looking the slightest bit embarrassed. “ I’m fine.”

“ No,” his voice was firm, “ I insist.”

Shinya sighed, then smiled.

“ Well then…”

Die wanted to shout out to Shinya ‘No! Don’t let him!’ but his mouth was pressed shut and he was inable to move for the moment.

Shinya looked back at him, pausing, hesitating. Then,

“ Sayonara Die.”

‘ Sayonara…’ Die replayed the word in his mind. What was the real meaning of that word?

Good-bye, the end of my dreams? Good-bye, the finishing of an unfinished story? Good-bye, my life? Good-bye.. my unreturned love?

~~

“ Do you want me to accompany you home?” Toshiya asked once they were outside. “ I’ve got nothing to do tonight.”

Shinya bit his bottom lip, looking up at Toshiya carefully, not knowing how to properly look at the man at the moment.

“ Toshiya.. Even though.. uh.. *that* happened just now..,” Shinya started nervously, “ I didn’t really think of going out with you in *that* way….”

Toshiya smiled, as if though expecting Shinya to say this. He nodded, apprehensive.

“ I understand. What happened back then will stay in the past and we’ll never mention it again.”

Shinya shook his head.

“ No, we don’t exactly have to never mention it…”

“ Just forget it?”

“ Haii.” He nodded.

Toshiya nodded again.

“ Wakarimasu. But… can I request something from you?”

Shinya looked up. He knew what was coming and he was longing for it.

“ Haii.”

“ Last kiss?”

Shinya let out a sigh, feeling his body shudder from anticipation. That was the question he’d been waiting for.

“ Haii.”

They kissed, for the last time. It was brief, only their lips touching each other. They neither touched hands nor embraced while this short period of time passed. Both men cherished the moment, only feeling what was there at the present, not thinking what would happen in the future, nor remembering the past.

There was only them and their kiss.

Once ended, Toshiya arms flew around Shinya, finally holding the other man in a tight embrace. Shinya let himself be hugged, leaning into the lean body.

“ Like I’ve said before… thank you..” Toshiya whispered, “ For giving me this.”

“ And I return your thanks.” Shinya murmured, “ With all my heart.”

~~

Die watched them from inside the café; their silhouttes were so clear from the window. Kiki and Yumi were too engrossed in their own world to realize what was happening outside, but he had been watching them intensely ever since they held hands, walking out. He lowered his eyes, not wanting to watch anymore. All his energy was gone, so was his will to ever try to be with Shinya again.

‘ He’s already happy.. I won’t take it from him..’ Die thought to himself miserably.

He looked to Yumi and Kiki, forcing a smile as they laughed.

‘ I’ll focus on what’s in front of my now.. and be happy myself.’

**

End of Part 6

to be continued~

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