Rendezvous

by Hikaru

**

  The first time he came to me, I didn't know whether he was a man or a
woman. I mean, I had the notion that he was a man, but the long auburn
curls of his hair and the beautiful dress that he wore confused me. He
just stopped in front of me as I strummed on my guitar, the open case
scattered by coins as the only border between us. He neither spoke nor
gave a donation to my playing, he merely stood there quietly, watching
me.

  The next time I saw him, he wore a deep satin dress and held a
parasol by his side. He stopped in front of me again, either staring at me or
listening to me play. I hoped that it was both.

  He stayed in front of me as I played through the day, not at all
caring at the curious glances given at him. He didn't budge as gentlemen
tossed coins into my guitar case but he did nod to the ladies who
curtsied slightly at him. I thought that he was a lady then, but as I packed
my guitar, ready to leave, his voice stopped me and instantly all doubt
was gone.

  " Sir?"

  His voice was young, innocent, and curious-but it had a deep edge to
it that confirmed him as a man. I looked up at him, trying to brush
away the long strands of my hair that had fallen into my view.

  " Yes?" I recall answering to him.

  He had hesitated, chewing the bottom of his lip thoughtfully before
lowering his eyes bashfully.

  " Would you mind playing for me, privately?"

  I was greatly tempted, the blush of his cheeks perfected the
porcelain doll face of his. But reality of our social differences hit me
quickly and I had to sigh.

  " I'm sorry, I can't."

  When his eyes looked at me with surprise and sadness, I couldn't help
but feel guilty for having caused those emotions. He shook his head
though, smiling at me so sweetly I almost thought of reconsidering my
answer.

  " No, I'm sorry," he apologized, taking a step back from me, " It was
out of line for me."

  He left then, the hems of his dress swaying at the quick pace of his
feet. He had walked away without glancing back at me and I thought that
that would be the last I would ever hear or see from the beautiful man
again.

  Fortunately though, I was wrong.

  He continued coming to see me play on the streets, everyday without
fail. I knew that he was getting noticed by the people who passed us and
I thought that it would be better if I played in a new location. I
wouldn't want to bring shame on him. I played in a new section of the town,
strumming away on a song I had composed the night before in my mind,
when he came by, strolling towards me like he had seen me playing there
all the time.
 
  I tried to lose him, going to places I never thought I would've gone
to. But each time, he would come to see me play, and each time he found
me, my heart would skip a beat. I felt like an angel had found me.

  The silences were filled with short questions by him. And I would
answer them shortly.

  " Why do you play your guitar in the cold without another layer of
clothing, sir?"

  " Not enough money..."

  I never knew whether to call him "ma'am" or "sir"... Though I knew I
should be calling him 'sir', I couldn't bring myself to. He didn't look
much like a 'sir'. But I couldn't really call him 'madame', it might be
humiliating him.

  So in time, I asked the questions.

  " What's your name?"

  " Terachi Shinya desu."

  " May I call you Terachi-san?"

  " You may call me Shinya."

  Months passed, and he grew more accustomed to me. I didn't know why
he would spend the day with a starving musician such as myself when he
obviously came from a very well-off family. I wondered if he knew the
risk he was taking for his family. But I never voiced the question, I
didn't want to cause him any discomfort.

  He never did leave coins in my guitar case, and for some strange
reason, it made me feel relieved. As if though I wasn't playing for his
pity. More that I was playing just for a friend.

  One day though, he came to me with a forlorn look on his face. I
could see tears gathering in his eyes and I saw how hard he tried to keep
them from falling. His perfectly masked face was threatening to crumble
as he came to me with the same sweet smile, though it lacked the warmth
it usually brought.

  " Play me a happy tune."

  It was his first request. And since I didn't want to see him cry, I
played the happiest song I could think of, strumming away as if though I
was the one who needed cheering. His expression eased towards the end
of the song, and I could see the strain gone from his eyes. It was the
first time I felt happy for being able to bring joy to others by music.

  It was also the first time I was paid handsomely for my playing.

  He gave me a kiss. It was short and simple, but the imprint of it
lasted forever. I could still feel the warm touch of his lips against my
cheek. It warmed me completely and the smile that accompanied it was
enough to last me through winter's cold.

  Shinya didn't only offer me butterfly kisses as rewards, sometimes he
would take me out for lunch in lavish restaurants, though it was
awfully uncomfortable of me to sit next to him sipping tea, he would shower
me with presents and then sometimes he would just embrace me so tightly
as a way of thanks. He was unexpected with these little things and I
loved him for it.

  Yes, as time passed on by, I fell slowly in love with him, though I
was never sure of how he felt for me. He was from an upper class of
society while I played by the streets, I knew it was foolish of me to dream
of his love.

  I realized this when he came to me late one day, looking very
closed-off; I wanted to continue playing but his hand stopped mine. I looked
up at the beautiful man, wandering what was playing in his mind.

  " I'm getting married."

  My heart definitely stopped that instant as he crumbled into my arms,
sobbing uncontrollably. I didn't know how long I held him, I just
remembered thinking was light he was, how I was afraid to wrap my arms
securely around him for fear that he might break. When he finally finished
crying, he looked up at me through tear stained eyes, a pleading look. I
was afraid of the request he might make because I knew I couldn't
refuse him at that moment.

  " Please sir, take me in for the night."

  I didn't say no.

  I held him that night, my beautiful Shinya, it was the first and last
time I would ever be able to have him rest by my side. He was truly
miserable and didn't bother to hide it this time. But I was glad that as I
stayed with him through the night, he looked a little less sad since
his smile was the most brilliant then. I don't remember anyone else being
able to look so angelic; he lay in my arms wrapped only in the
hardly-soft blanket I had offered him, a peaceful and contented look on his
smooth face.

  I remembered kissing his forehead before I dared to close my eyes,
sleep was calling me. When I awoke, he was gone. Only the scent of
wildflowers as the memory of the night before and a blanket clutched at my
side.

  Terachi Shinya, son of the doctor Terachi Kazuki, had slit his throat
in front of his bride-to-be earlier that morning when he had gone to
confront them. He died almost instantly amongst pool of flowing blood.
Not even his father, the great doctor respected by everyone in all
society, could save him. I was grieved by this news that swirled through town
like fire.

  He had left me a note in my case which I had noticed only when I was
through mourning for him. I was about to start playing when I found the
paper carrying his scent. The note was short but it had the same impact
his first kiss had on me:

  Towards my dear guitarist,

  Miyabi-san,

  Thank you for filling my days with wondrous music, thank you for
filling the last moments of my life with your love. I had fallen in love
with you since the first time I saw you and I knew I wanted no one else
other than you. That is why I could not live on, I dare not shame my
family by going against their wishes, yet I dare not leave my love for
you. This is the only way I can carry my love and yours-forever.

  I am grateful to be able to hear you say "aishiteru"; I've been
longing to hear that particular word since the moment I saw you.

  Aishiteru, zutto.

-Terachi Shinya

  I keep the note in my case, even now when I'm breathing my last
breaths of this world's air. It was sort of a representative of Shinya, the
one person whom I loved and would continue loving. And as I saw the
morning light slowly fade away, I could smell the scent of wildflowers
greeting me.

**
The End
 

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