Dreams and Time

by Maharet

comments: I think i've been playing Chrono cross too much lately, and i think
this story is abt the only thing that i really fear in this life ( ok, spiders
too ^^)
Anyway English isn't my first language so plz bear with me.

part 1

I feel really ill...

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea go for a walk.

But it feels so nice.

The fresh air in my face, the rain falling for my burning body, wetting my hair.

I've always thought, that when i have fever, there's nothing better than a grey
day, cold rain and a little walk. It feels great.

But Kaoru's gonna be really mad at me if i get even more ill or something, not
because he cares, of corse, but cause we have a LIVE soon, and he wants
everything to be perfect.

The city's so lonely, like if i was the only living soul here, there's isn't
any sound more that the rain and the wind through the trees.

Nobody's in the street with this storm..

That's exactly the reason why the steps behind me are starting to worry me.

Damn!! Who can be in the streets with a storm like this???

"Just me, stupid little Totchi, ne?"

Toshiya turn around and there he saw the only person or thing he could ever be
afraid of.

"me?" said Toshiya surprised, or maybe not.

"What do you think?" said the other Toshiya with a little smile in his
beautiful lips.

"I think that you better go back to the fucking hole where you came from" His
face full of anger.

"I don't think so.."

The other bassist ran and stand in front of Toshiya blocking his way.

"You fucking slut!" said Toshiya feeling fear in his heart, and noticing that
the fever was racing up again, he felt dizzy.

"There's no way you can beat me, i'm so much stronger"

"You wish.." he couldn't help but be the ironic guy he always was.

Even if he knew this was different.

"Aren't you even a bit curious?, I mean is not like if this is a everyday
'situation'" said the other man with a sensual smile in his lips.

"Really? You think so?, well, not at all!"

He's right.

But i don't wanna know, i'm afraid to.

This can't be good. Why now? I'm gonna faint any moment, damn fever!

*Cough, cough*

"C'mon, don't be so stubborn! You can't hide it from me hon"

"Ok! You have 5 minutes"

"So arrogant! Even if you know that you're in real danger, and you know it. I
really like you.. But you still need a bit more than that, I'm gonna make
everything perfect, Cause i love you."

Toshiya blushed hearing those words.

This has no logic at all!

Please Kaoru, Help me, i don't wanna be here, i don't want anything of this
shit.

I just wanna be warm in your arms, safe.

You knew i was ill, you should take care of me, you know me, it was obvious
that i was going to put myself in danger.

But you don't care at all, right?

You're only worried about aour LIVE..

Totchi felt the tears forming in his eyes.

Dont! Not now.

I must be really alert if i wanna make it out of this.

And that way the bassist pushed a certain guitarist outside of his mind for the
moment.

"You have all my atention"

"I'm you, from the future" said The other toshiya seriously.

"C'mon tell me something i don't know already"

"Yeah.. I guess it's pretty obvious ne?" he grinned beautifully.

"You're really pretty, you know? What year from?"

"2007"

"That means I'm gonna look really gorgeous at that age" said Toshiya happy,
with the sweetest smile in his lips.

It suddenly started to feel like if he was talking to a friend, he felt that
he could trusth the man, after all it was just himself, wasn't?

That shocked the other man, he looked truly surprised.

"What's this?, It wasn't supposed to be like this" said the other Toshiya
worried.

"What's wrong?, are you alright?" said toshiya placing a hand in his future
being's forehead.

"What are you doing?" said the other man, pushing toshiya away.

"umh.. nothing, I just thought that you were feeling ill or something, you
know? I'm reall ill right now, I'm burning, you see?"

said toshiya placing the other man's hand in his forehead.

"."

"It's awful to feel this way, I have a LIVE soon and i must be good for that
date, I hope you're not getting ill too, here in the rain. Why don't we go to
my place and talk there; Kyo's at Shinchan's cause they are working in a new
song that shinya's writting"

"i still haven't told you, why i'm here for"

"You can tell me later"

And then Totchi held the other man's hand and lead him to his apartment, a
couple of streets down.

~At toshiya's~

"Here we are, take a sit, i'm gonna make some coffe" said Toshiya leaving his
other being in the couch while he entered the kitchen.

What am i gonna do?

I don't know if this's right, it's kinda cool talk with me from the future, but
i'm afraid. I'm sure this is something really bad.

Besides he doesn't look like me that much, he's so much cold and strong, he
also seems a bit sad, and hurt.

But he looks gorgeous.So sexy and smart, really strong.

What happened that make me turn out that way?

Thinking about it, he has the same look in his eyes that yoshiki-san.Maybe i'm
gonna lose someone really important to me.

He felt his hearted ached.

"here, take this"

"What's this?" said the man looking weirdly at the cup of coffe.

"Coffe. you love it!"

"No, i don't, I have never seen this before"

"Are you sure you're the same person as I but from the future?" said Toshiya
really stranged

"Toshimasa Hara, Ex member of the band Dir en grey"

"Ex?????"

"Let's see.."

"Why are you here?" asked Toshiya feeling the fear creeping over his heart.

"I'm here, cause you were too weak, I wanted, No, I need to be stronger, I have
to."

"Nani??"

"I'm sorry, I really like you, and i know it must be wrong somehow came here to
your time, and change future, but i really have to, It's for the best"

"Change??"

Totchi was starting to feel like in some kind of movie, no, not even a movie,
but a book, one of those fantasy books.

And suddenly he felt the fever over him, and the world turn black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Totchi??"

nothing happened the bishonen didn't move at all.

"C'mon beauty, It can't be that bad, right?"

Kaoru was getting really worried as he held the younger man in his arms,
shaking him a little.

But still nothing.

"Totchi please...wake up, what's wrong??"

His hand touched the bassist forehead softly.

"Damn!!!!! You have fever, i knew that you were going to be even worst today."
Said the guitarist sad.

"I'm an asshole, please forgive me Totchi"

"Leave me..I'm not gonna let you change anything, it's my life you know.
MINE!!" said Toshiya screaming.

"Totchi?? It's me Kaoru, don't worry i'm gonna stay here, you have fever, i'll
call the others to tell them that today practise's cancelled, please you need
to rest" said kaoru lovingly

"Kao-kun?? Please don't leave me, he'll be back anymoment i can feel it...But
if you're here then nothing matters anymore" said totchi just before he fainted
again.

"I'll be here my love, don't worry.i'll be here always to take care of you from
now on, but nothing's gonna happen, is just the fever that makes you see things
that are not there, that makes you feel danger where there's only love." said
Kaoru placing the dark haired beauty in the bed and a soft kiss in those
gorgeous lips.

He knew that even if the only thing that he really wanted to do was to be with
Toshiya forever, it was just a dream.an impossible one.

They couldn't be together no matter how he felt abt the bassist, cause the band
was more important than anything else, and it was wrong to mix their personal
affairs with work, that would change everything and he just couldn't risk
everything why they've worked so hard all these years..

And even putting that aside, He knew that Totchi could never love him back..

But no matter what he was going to help Totchi through his illness, he wasn't
going to leave the man he loved alone now.

After all he still could use the LIVE excuse to be around, taking care of the
younger man.

Suddenly he heard the doorbell through his thoughts.

to be continued~

email Maharet

back to fics page