Title: Ohayougozaimasu, Totchi, kajitsu
kanaderu, ne?: maatarashii dei, maatarashii suki? Maatarashii
kirinuki. (Good morning, Totchi, beautiful day to play (An instrument), no?:
Brand new day, Brand new love?
Brand new cuts.)
Author: Mana Crystal
Part Five
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When Toshiya woke up the next morning, well it was more like night. He
checked his watch. *8:30? I’ve
slept for a whole day....* He was immediately assaulted by the sound of someone
pounding on the door. Standing
up he tosses the sheets back and winced as he moved the leg that was attached to
the hip he had sliced up the night
before. Standing up he winced and pulled some loose jeans and a shirt on
before throwing the sheet over the blood
stained bed sheet. When he opened the door Toshiya saw everyone standing
there. Rubbing his eyes he arched a
brow seeing they were all only clad in a towel.
“Come to the bathes with us, Totchi-kun.” Kyo said and grinned as he
bounced up and down. They all
noticed how he immediately paled and shuttered slightly.
“No. I don’t feel like it...” Toshiya mumbled and started to
shut the door. Kaoru’s hand kept the door
from closing.
“You need to relax. You’re coming if we have to drag you.”
Toshiya could see he was dead serious.
“Let me get some swimming trunk’s...” Toshiya sighed.
“Nope. We have this one private but they told us we weren’t allowed to
wear anything in them.
Contaminates the water or something.” Die said with a glint in his eye.
“No. I really can’t go. I don’t want to.” Toshiya
growled and tried to shut the door again.
“You’re coming with us.” Kyo and Shinya each grabbed and arm and
pulled the kicking Bassist to the
bathes. Die held Toshiya down as the others tried to pull his clothes off.
Toshiya broke away and scrunched back
against a wall.
“Come on kid. Take the clothes off. We wanna get in.”
Kaoru said with a poke.
“No...please...” Toshiya mumbled. No one heard him and they
pounced again and this time managed to
get his shirt and pants off. With a yelp and a cry Toshiya got away and
grabbed a towel holding it around him, but
to late to stop the others from seeing his mutilated skin and way to skinny
body. They stood back and stared at him
in shock and horror. Toshiya looked down. “I said I don’t want
to...please...”
“Totchi....tell us what’s happening...why are you doing this?” Die
asked looking at Kaoru. “We though
you were better...that you were over it...”
“I am. I’m over it. I’m fine. I’m going back to my
room.” Toshiya tried to move past them but Shinya
blocked his way.
‘Totchi, why?” The younger man asked.
“Ask Kaoru, and Die.” Toshiya growled and tried to push past.
“I’m asking you.”
“I’m giving you an answer.”
“You are not. Now tell me dammit!”
“It’s not for me to tell...” Toshiya tried to push past again
but Shinya slammed him into the wall.
“Tell me damn you...” Shinya growled with his mouth right next to
Toshiya’s ear.
“I CAN’T!” Toshiya screamed and struggled against Shinya with tears
beginning to falls from his eyes.
“Tell me...” Shinya whispered and held Toshiya against him suddenly
stroking his hair. Toshiya was
aware of the nakedness of Shinya’s chest. His breathing slowed and the
tears sped up.
“I can’t...Shinya...you love Die. I can’t tell you what
happened...it wouldn’t be right. If they want to tell
you, they will tell you...” Toshiya wailed and trying to get away, all
at the same time that he was wanting to cling
to the younger man.
“No. Totchi...” Shinya mumbled and lifted the other man’s chin
with his hand. Die growled and tried to
pull Shinya away and Kaoru was sending Toshiya
“don’t-tell-or-your-screwed” looks.
“Please...Shinya....don’t...please..” Toshiya cried and decided that
clinging to Shinya would be bad.
(O_o;;;-MC)
“Die...tell me.” Shinya turned to Die and stared at him.
“It was nothing. We just told Toshiya that I liked you...and
he....um...offered to let me have you.” Die
lied through his teeth.
“Is that what happened, Totchi?” Shinya asked, turning his eyes back
to Toshiya who, he could tell lied to
him.
“Hai. That’s what happened...but...it’s not what this is about.
Don’t worry about it.” Toshiya pulled away
and limped away. Shinya reached out and grabbed Toshiya again.
“Don’t go anywhere. I’m coming by tonight to talk to you...”
Shinya whispered into Toshiya’s ear. The
blue head nodded and winced walking away. The mood was ruined and no one
really felt like bathing.
They all went back to their rooms except for Kyo who walked to Toshiya’s and
knocked on the door. Not
receiving an answer Kyo tried the door knob and found it unlocked. Pushing
the door open Kyo walked in quietly
and saw Toshiya sitting in the dark pulling something across his leg.
With a frown Kyo walked over and sat next
to Toshiya. The other man didn’t even look up and he cut a deep oozing
gash in his leg.
“Totchi-kun...why do you do this to yourself?” Kyo asked quietly
taking the razor from Toshiya’s hand.
“Because...I love him Kyo...I really do...” Toshiya leaned his head
down and laid it on Kyo’s should.
Dropping the razor in the garbage Kyo slid his arms around Toshiya and held him
as he felt the younger one start
crying. (Again-MC) Holding him close Kyo ran a hand through Toshiya’s
hair and felt emotions well up inside
him, pushing them down he growled softly. *He doesn’t like you that way...*
Kyo though to himself fiercely
holding the second youngest in his arms, protectively. Toshiya sobbed
against him, shoulders shaking and tears
streaming down his cheeks. Kyo had never seen him cry so much or so hard
in the time that he had known him as
he had in the past month. Rocking the young man back and forth Kyo stroked
his friends head and back trying to
comfort him.
“Kyo...I don’t know what to do... I’m going to leave the band...I want to
die...” Toshiya looked like a
broken doll sitting there staring at Kyo, begging him with his eyes to help him.
Getting a sudden image of Toshiya
sprawled out on a bloody floor, Kyo pushed the blue head back and laid him
out on the bed, undressing him and
pulling the covers over the all to thin body. Planting a soft kiss on his
forehead Kyo growled and stormed out of
the room with a ‘go to sleep. I’ll be back, soon.’ (“I’ll be
back...”-AS-MC) Kyo stormed about ten feet to the next
room and slammed his hand against the door. A grunt was heard, then a moan
and a whimper. *Good. Right in
the middle of fucking...* Kyo thought with satisfaction. Die came to the
door.
“What!?” He growled at the small man, Kyo smiled, looking very
un-kawaii and very frightening. Die
blinked and stepped back a little.
“You and me and Kaoru need to talk. Now.” Kyo purred.
“I’m busy.” Die grunted and started to shut the door.
“If you close that door, tomorrow I will tell the whole world what happened.
And you will probably also
have the blood of a certain Bassist on your hands.” Kyo growled just low
enough for Die to hear and no one else.
Die paled and nodded.
“Be there in five minutes...” Die muttered and shut the door. Kyo
turned and walked down the hall.
Knocking on the door to Kaoru’s room he only had to wait a moment for the door
to open and Kaoru to motion
him in.
“What do you want Kyo?” Kaoru sighed and went to the couch stretching
out and flipping the t.v. on.
“We have to talk. Die should be com-” Kyo was cut off as Die opened
the door and walked in. The two
visitors to Kaoru’s room walked over and made themselves comfy around the
couch and t.v.
“So...” Die started and looked at Kyo,
“So, you two have destroyed Totchi.” Kyo said staring at the t.v.
“He’s not DESTROYED, he’s depressed. He’ll get over it...”
Kaoru mumbled
“He said that he want’s to die. He says he’s going to leave DEG.
He’s starved himself, sliced himself,
done everything he could to stay alive. He feels like the pain in his
heart should be matched by Physical pain. I
know what he feels. He’s probably thinking that if he doesn’t match
the mental and emotional pain with physical
pain he’ll die. And he doesn’t want to die cause then he will never
see Shinya...” Kyo said softly twisting his view
to look out the balcony door. He heard Kaoru click the t.v. off.
“You love him.” Kaoru stated, matter of fact.
“Hai, I do.”
“So tell him...”
“Fuck you. You are just looking for a way to keep Die with Shinya.
Why don’t you ask Shinya, Kaoru.
Do it real nice. I’ll even stay with you, help you ask. And if he
even gives a hint as to Toshiya is the one he loves,
then Die lets him choose. That’s it. Got it?” Kyo growled
and stood up.
“Yeah sure. I know he loves me...” Die said confidently and they
all stood up to go find out.
-Meanwhile-
As soon as the door to the room shut Shinya stood and pulled his clothes on.
Well, he stood and pulled a
huge night shirt thing, on anyway. Padding quietly over and opening the
door to the bathroom he stepped inside
and shut the door behind him. Turning on the light Shinya locked the
bathroom door and then walked over and
opened the door that led to Toshiya’s room. Stepping into the older mans
room Shinya walked over and sat next
on the bed next to the sleeping form, smiling down in the darkness of the room
Shinya brushed his fingers over the
sleeping man’s face.
“So beautiful...what have you been doing to your body?” Shinya whispered and
leaned down pressing his
lips gently to each eyelid before sitting up again. “Did you lie to me today?
I could tell that you did. Standing
there. You looked into my eyes and I saw something flicker.
Something that tore at my heart. Die lied to me. I
know he did. I don’t even know if I still love him. But I love
you. And I think I love him. That night on the van,
die said that Kaoru and him were watching. They saw. And Kaoru
pushed you away. He pushed away his
thoughts of you, and Die says he want’s you to hurt because you hurt
him...he’s so gently, loving, and we hurt him,
but then you hurt me, let me count off how we all hurt each other, shall I?”
“Ehhh....uhh...” Toshiya shuttered against the coldness of Shinya’s
hand but continued to sleep.
“When you first came to the band, you hurt me because you were pretty.
Then Die hurt me because he
started to lust for you. Then you hurt Kaoru by not kissing him, Kyo hurt
you both by pulling you away, you and
Kyo both hurt Kaoru by sleeping together then moving in with him, hurt both Die
and Kaoru, then they both hurt
us when we caught them kissing. I never knew what happened with
that...anyway...then we hurt them with our
lies, hurt them more when we fell in quote un quote ‘love’ and you know the
rest...we’ve done nothing but hurt
each other...is this what it’s about...love and hurt?” Shinya mumbled
and leaned down again covering Toshiya’s
sleeping mouth with his own kissing the other man lovingly and tenderly.
“I love you Toshiya...I love my
water....but I love Die also....I love my fire. And fire and water don’t
mix...” Trailing off Shinya stood up and
walked out of Toshiya’s room shutting the bath door and stood looking in the
mirror. He heard three people enter
the room he shared with Die. *What do I do?* *Baka, go talk to them.* Shinya
listened to the voice and walked
into the room, sitting down next to Die and staring around d at the others.
*It’s only the third day since we got
here...everyone’s so serious...*
“Shin-kun, we need to talk...” Kaoru started.
“We need to know something...” Kyo said at the same time.
“Who do you love....?” Die spoke softly and at the same time as the
other two but Shinya turned and
looked at him first. Then Kyo, then Kaoru.
“Er...what do you mean?? Out of you guys?” Shinya coughed and
blushed before putting a hand behind
his head and laughing a bit nervously (MC’s been watching just a little too
much DBZ and reading just a bit to
much DBZ fan fic....x_x SHINYA IS GOKU!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahehehe...he...hehe..ooookkkaaayyyy...
no more DP for me...^_____________^;;;;;-MC)
“Whhhhhhaaaa..... no......we need to know if you love....wait....first
there’s something that Die and Kaoru
need to tell you...” Kyo raised a brow at the other two and leaned back.
“Um...yeah. Totchi lied. So did Die. He didn’t give you up
to Die, we told him that he had to or we
would kick him out of DEG....” Kaoru mumbled and looked away.
Shinya sat in shock and turned to look at the
red head.
“You what?” The youngest asked softly, everyone could hear the edge on
his voice. It was like a razor.
*Like what Totchi uses...* Kyo thought suddenly.
“We told him that I was in love with you....cause I am, I was, I have been
forever, and then told him that
maybe since you liked me before him, that it would be best if he gave you to me,
and we kinda hinted that if he
didn’t we would kick him out after the live...” Die sighed and turned
a bit pink realizing that he must have been a
complete imbecile to have done what he did to the blue headed bassist.
“You did that to him? And then you let him mutilate himself, his body
and his mind, you let his pain eat
away at his sanity and you knew why he was doing that. You should have
just told me how you felt without
dragging me through lies, and dragging Toshiya’s heart through the mud....Die
let me ask you this, ARE YOU
FUCKING STUPID!!??” Shinya stood and screamed in Die’s face.
“That man loved me, I loved him too. I
thought I loved you. And I think I still do. I don’t know how.
But you had the nerve to threaten a man who
probably didn’t know that you liked me because you were busy playing games.
You have the NERVE TO DO
THAT!? And then sit here basically asking me to take you over him? You
dumber then I thought.” Shinya
growled and turned storming out of the hotel room. No one ran after him.
BAH!!!! x-x
to part 6