To Be pt 2

To Be .....part 2

"Okay everyone. Ready? Good. Cause we have to leave." Kaoru said to the other members of the band. Their stuff was packed and they were on the bus. Kyo was laying on his sofa/bed/chair thing flipping through a magazine and attaching various colored safety pins to his clothes. Toshiya was waiting patiently for Kaoru to sit back down with him on the bunk thingy that Kaoru was going to be occupying during the nights that they weren't in hotel's. And Die and Shinya were sitting on opposite ends of the bus and opposite sides as well. Shinya in the very back of the bus on the left side sitting boredly on his bunk reading a book, while Die was sitting in the front of the Bus on Toshiya's bunk (his bunk was to close to the back of the bus, and to close to Shinya, because Shinya's and his bunks were right across the aisle from each other ~_^-MC) looking through that month's issue of Shoxx and eating some random food he had pulled from the fridge.
"How long till we get there!? Do we get a hotel tonight??" Kyo whined at Kaoru as he sat down and snuggled up with Toshiya.
"We only have to travel five hours today, and yes we get a Hotel. We spend tonight, tomorrow's the first live, and then we spend tomorrow night and leave the next day. So Nights one and two we sleep in a hotel room. Night three will be spent in the bus and Four, Five and Six in a hotel. Then two nights on the bus, two in a hotel, one on the bus and three to four at two different places. Then we go home." Kaoru nibbled on Toshiya's shoulder and stretched as Kyo threw a pillow at him.
"Thanks a lot Leader-sama. Can't even stay the whole time in a hotel....Stupid bus..." Kyo grumbled and blocked the return of the pillow from Kaoru. Die laughed and Shinya grunted. Kaoru exchanged a look with Kyo and Toshiya before grabbing Die and pushing him down on Toshiya's bed and straddling him. Shinya looked up sharply and let out a low hiss towards Kaoru.
‘What? He's not yours Shin-chan. You dumped him, Fair game..." Kaoru smiled slightly at the younger man.
"Yeah? I don't care. But your making the bus....shake. Yeah...shake. I can't read with a shaky bus." Shinya tried half heartedly to save face as Kaoru smirked at him. Die looked up with a hopeful look in his eye and Shinya shrugged looking down at his book again.
"Yeah right Shin-chan. Yeah right." Kaoru then kissed Die's cheeks, all the while watching Shinya from the corner of his eye. Shinya steeled his face and no emotion showed through the mask, though he did feel a small tear slide down his cheek.
"Ah Ha!" Toshiya yelled and jumped up grabbing Shinya's face tilting it up so the tear caught the light and the other three members of Dir en grey could see it. Smirking he let go of Shinya's chin as a hand aimed at his face whizzed by. ‘You're crying!" (I'm gonna make them all cry I tell you!! ALL OF THEM!!!-MC)
"I'm not. My eye's are watering. And now seeing as you all expect me to beg you to leave me alone, here it is: ‘Please leave me the fuck alone.' That's as close to begging as you'll get. Now, I'll be in the wash room reading for the rest of the trip if anyone needs me. And if you need to use to toilet, tell the driver to pull over." Shinya glared and walked into the wash room slamming the door. Die heard the click of the lock being put into place and sighed.
"Look at that. Now I bet he hates me..." Die glared at Kaoru and Toshiya.
"Listen, that man loves you and WE just need to get him to admit it. You're both so damned stubborn why can't you just admit it to each other?" Kyo stated, just as sobbing could be heard from with in the washroom. Die visibly winced and curled up of Toshiya's bunk cursing himself for hurting Shinya.

As the bus pulled into the lot of the Hotel Shinya came out of the wash room. Book in hand and nose all red he walked over, grabbed his bag and marched into the hotel, with everyone else running after him. The group checked in and got into the lift. They all stayed silent, Kaoru, Toshiya, Kyo, and Die huddled in one corner and Shinya standing in front of the lift door's. When they opened he walked out, down the hall and opened his and Die's room. Standing in the doorway Shinya gasped at the size of the room. It was more like an apartment then a hotel room. There was a kitchen, sitting area, a t.v., and...Shinya frowned, one bedroom. And one bed. This was going to be a problem. *shit, what now?* Shinya turned and looked at the others who were just nearing the rooms.
"What's wrong Shin-chan?" Kaoru looked at his friend a bit worriedly. Shinya had gone almost pale and his lips were pressed into a thin line.
"There. Is. Only. One. Bed." Shinya bit each word off and glared at the others. He had never been a ‘scary' man but at that moment the others would not make fun of him for all the money in the world.
"Er....Like I said, we made the arraignments's before you two broke up." Kaoru frowned and unlocked his hotel door and pushed Toshiya in pulling the door shut behind them. Kyo wandered off down to his room and unlocked the door closing it behind him. Die stood staring at Shinya. With a frown Shinya motioned for him to move into the room. Die walked in and moved in a large circle looking in all the doors and checking under the rug and cushions of the couch. Shinya caught himself smiling in spite of himself and leaned back watching Die. He thought he had taken the smile off his face, but as Die looked up at him, Shinya realized that he still had a smile plastered across his face. From the look on Die's face Shinya decided that if the time came he would apologize and take Die back. *He's so handsome. Masculine. I wish I had his confidence. His ability to make everything that's wrong seem right. Why can't he make this seem right? It's wrong...we should be together...not apart...not like this.* Shinya winced slightly and looked away out the window. Looking down on the city he saw cars and trucks. People walking and running. It was all so normal. Why wasn't he down there? What was he doing here?
"Shin...chan...." Die reached out and let a hand rest on Shinya's shoulder. The younger man smiled slightly and turned around the face the older man. (Gah....Should I make them make up now? Or wait till after the first live? Hum.....*thinks** **decides on what to do**-MC) Die ran one hand down Shinya cheek and then there was a knock on the door. Die walked over and opened the door. Toshiya and Kaoru were standing there.
"Die, you wanna come over and watch some movies with us?" Toshiya swayed his hips a bit and the message was as clear as day. They wouldn't be watching movie. Shinya blinked and winced slightly looking out the window with an all to clear painful look on his face. Die coughed and shrugged.
"Shin-chan...is it okay with you?" Die turned and put a hand on Shinya's shoulder. He could feel the smaller man tighten and could almost see the struggle going on. Whether to say okay and let him go telling himself that they would only watch ‘movie's', or to say stay, and keep Die there. Because he KNEW they wouldn't watch movie's. Either was fine with Die, though the former would be what he would prefer over all. Whatever Shinya was trying to think of to say was cut off by Toshiya tugging on Die's hand.
"Oh, he doesn't have to agree. You're not his anymore." (I know I'm changing around Toshiya's roles, from totally uncaring to caring and promising never to ask to fuck with Die again, but I just can't decide which way I want him.-MC) Toshiya pulled on Die's hand and smirked in Shinya's direction. A single tear fell down Shinya's cheek and when Die touched his shoulder Shinya shrugged and turned away walking towards the bedroom.
‘He's right. You're -not- mine anymore. I don't control you." Shinya mumbled and closed the door to the room with a click. Die frowned. He had seen the tear slide down Shinya's cheek. Had seen the look of pain and the tension in his....Friend's....shoulders. Die looked at Toshiya and was disgusted by what he saw in the face of the younger man. *He doesn't care anything about me. He just want's to break me and Shinya up.* Die thought with a small growl. Another voice spoke up softly in his head *Why would he want that? What would your FRIEND Toshiya gain by breaking you up? He has Kaoru...Why would he want you or Shinya? Grow up Die, the world doesn't rise and fall with your every word.. But the least you can do is tell them no. Get a life and tell them to fuck off. Be a man, Die!* Frowning a bit Die listened to the voice.
"Listen, Totchi, Kaoru, I can't do this anymore. We can't do what we have been doing, ever again. I love Shinya. I can't believe how badly I've fucked up. I won't fuck up this night as well. Even if Shinya and I aren't together, I still love him. I belong with him...To him." Die stared straight into Toshiya's eyes and saw a flicker of, what was it? Pride? Trust? Love? All of them?
"We hoped you would say that, Die. We knew that you still were thinking about what you wanted and needed. But we couldn't sit by and let it happen. You two do belong to each other. We're sorry for what happened before..." Toshiya smiled up at Die and hugged him tightly. Over his should he saw Kaoru standing smiling at the pair. Die hugged back for a moment then Kaoru made a noise and Toshiya left Die and walked out with Kaoru closing the door behind him. (I LOVE Toshiya. ;_; he's so sexy....I just couldn't make him all....Meanie ass dude. O_o-MC) Die turned towards the room and heard sobbing from inside. He tried the door but realized it was locked. He was going to knock on the door but deiced that Shinya probably didn't want him anyway. (BAKA DIE!!-MC) With a sigh Die turned away from the Door and walked over putting in the CD he had received from a friend in America.

#Cause every time that I touch you, you feel so far away, and every time that you need me I feel so far away, I feel so far away, and I need find a way to break this silence, I need to break this silence, I need to find a way to break this silence that's between us, so I scream your name, I scream your name, I scream your name, but every time that I touch you, you feel so far away and every time that you need me I feel so far away and every time that you reach out, you feel me fade away, and every time that I touch you, that I touch you, that I touch you, I feel so far away...#

Blinking Die listened to the last strings of the song fade away and noticed that he was crying. Though he could not translate the song to perfection he got the idea of what it was about and what it meant. He felt like, that was how he felt with Shinya. It was what was happening. He couldn't touch Shinya....not at all without feeling like he wasn't with him, like he was some where far away from the man he loved. He had done something totally ignorant and selfish. And had rubbed Shinya's nose in it. Letting Toshiya bring to light what had been going on for more then that one night. Die felt so ashamed, tears started to corse their way down his cheeks leaving dirty little trails. This was his fault...His fault that Shinya, His Shinya, was upset. Laying down and curling up into a ball Die fell into a deep sleep, still crying.

Shinya, Laying on the bed, rolled over and wiped his face with the back of his hand. The wetness on his cheeks dripped down into his mouth when he opened it to breath. His nose was all stuffy from crying. Getting up he walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. His face was a shade some where between pink and red, his eyes were puffy and two clear trails went down the sides of his face, through the makeup he wore and reviled his pale complexion beneath the make-up. Shinya reached out and touched his reflection. With a sigh he took some toilet paper and wiped his face. Throwing the used tissue in the garbage Shinya walked out and into the bedroom again. Glancing around for the first real time, Shinya smiled. The room was very nice. *Perfect for me and Die...but he's with...No....What's that sound?* Shinya glanced at the door with a frown and walked out to find the Stereo on and Die laying shivering on the couch. The window was open and the room was ice cold. Shivering and running over to the window Shinya shut it with a loud thud and then turned the stereo off and knelt next to the couch. Reaching out a hand Shinya brushed a single lock of red hair off of Die's face. *So handsome...lovely also....My Die... No, not mine any longer....* another tear slipped down Shinya's cheek but he brushed it away with his thumb. Dropping a blanket over Die he leaned down and kissed the older man's forehead lovingly. Standing he walked back into the room, stripped and covered up falling asleep with the door open so he would see Die when he woke.

Die pulled himself lazily to the surface of sleep. He was in the middle of a nice dream where him and Shinya were in the middle of a live. Everything stopped and Shinya stood up and walked to Die wrapping his arms around the older man's neck and pulling his head down bringing his lips only half an inch away from the red head's. Then something snapped in the back of his head, he needed to remember something, something important. *WE HAVE A LIVE TODAY!! GET THE FUCK UP DIE, YOU LAME ASS!! YOU'VE OVER SLEPT!!* Die's eyes snapped open and stared around the hotel room in confusion. Where was he?? Oh yes, on the couch, in the hotel room. In the room next to Shinya. *Next to Shinya. Next to my love. Next to my heart. Next to myself* Die blinked back tears and stood. He walked out into the hall and banged on Kyo's door. Getting no answer Die frowned and banged on Kaoru and Toshiya's door. No answer. Walking back to the room Die found a note on the door. Pulling it off he walked into the room and sat down glancing in at the sleeping Shinya, Die sat on the couch and read the note to himself.
Die, Shinya~ (Insert doodle of Die and Shinya kissing)
Hey. What's up?? Well enough with pleasantry's. Remember we have a live today. How could you forget. We left around seven. You two looked soooooo Kawaii sleeping, but why weren't you sleeping TOGETHER!!! BAKA DIE-KUN!!! BAKA SHIN-CHAN!! So we went ahead without you. The live starts at six, you need to be at the hall by...noon. Who knows why they make us come there so damned early...Not like we do anything. Well Kaoru's pulling us out of here to go eat. See you at the hall!

Luv,
Kyo (Insert a doodle of a Devil face with lot's of piercing's)
Totchi (Insert a doodle of an angel with devil horns and a tail)
Kaoru (Insert a doodle of a annoyed looking Kaoru dragging both the Devil/Angel and the Devil out the door in chains)

P.S. DIE YOU BAKA DON'T BE A MORON!! Go make Shinya breakfast!! NOW!!! On second thought don't make Shinya breakfast. Order it up with room service.

Die smiled and put the note down on the table and picked up the phone. What was Shinya's favorite foods? Oh yes.
"Room service" Came a voice.
"Um, Yes, could I please have a bowl of Jell-O, some pancakes, syrup, and a....large pitcher of Dr. Pepper" (I have no clue as to if Shinya or Die like Dr. Pepper, (Though I seen LOT's of piccy's with Toshiya, Die and Shinya drinking from DP bottle's it could be nothing but extra sponsorship or whatever...) but I like Dr. Pepper. A LOT!! And it deserves to be in my Fic. Because it is GOD!!!!!BOW TO ALL DR. PEPPER!! WORSHIP IT! ^__________^;;;-MC) Die smiled to himself and gave the room number to the other person then hung up the phone. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door and Die opened it to let Room service in. Pushing a cart into the room a young woman looked up and gawked at Die.
"You're.....you're.....Die......from Dir en grey." The girl almost screamed and stared at Die.
"Yeah. Be quiet. Shinya's asleep. Put the trays on the table please..." Die smiled at the girl as her eyes widened at Shinya's name and knew that in a few days all of Tokyo would be saying Shinya and Die were screwing each other. Which, Die hoped, Would be true by the night.
"Um....Hai, I will." The girl did so never taking her eyes off Die except long enough to glance into the room where Shinya was sleeping. With a small smile the girl picked up a pair of Die's socks. "I'll have these...uh....cleaned for you. Yeah. That's it. Cleaned for you."
"Um...you can have them. You don't have to steal them. Want an autograph too?" Die smirked as the girl turned red.
"Er....Hai. If it's okay...Please?" Nodding Die took a piece of paper and signed it with a ‘With Love' handing it to the girl she turned and scurried out with his socks and paper in hand. Die smiled.

"Shinya....Shin-chan....Wake up.......breakfast." Die said as he carried the tray into the room and set it on the bed next to Shinya. He was now trying to wake Shinya up. Which, Under normal circumstances, would have been rather easy, But as Shinya had been up till at least, two in the morning, he was as konked out as Kyo usually was. Die grinned to himself and resisted the urge to dump water on him. *he is not your lover anymore you're not allowed to do that. Just wake him up normally and give him breakfast, apologize for what happened and kiss him. All better....Right?* Die frowned and shook Shinya again. "Bah Shinya WAKE UP!!!!"
"WHA......?!" Shinya sat up with a twitch and stared at Die.
"We have to leave in...." Die checked his watch. "Ten minutes. It's almost eleven and we HAVE to be at the hall by Noon. Kyo, Toshiya, and Kaoru left a note on the door."
"Oh...Okay I'll get up. I won't like it. I'll do it. I won't like it...." Shinya continued to grumble as he stood. Die almost purred. The other man was naked. Stretching Shinya glanced down at himself then looked at Die. "A-hem. Die, Friends....don't look at each other the way your looking at me. Stop." Shinya almost growled the last word and then walked off into the wash room to shower. Die blinked. Five minutes later Shinya walked out, still naked and dripping. Pulled out a towel, dried himself and then pulled on some clothes. Die sat the whole time on the bed looking down into the Jell-o he had brought to Shinya.
"I got breakfast sent up. You need to eat. To skinny. Only 42 kg....(around 84 Pounds if I did the math right. If not please someone e-mail me with the correct weight and conversion method-MC) Eat, ne?" Die looked up at Shinya and offered him the cup o' Jell-o (hehehehehe-MC) with a small smiled. Shinya looked at the Jell-o and then at Die. Tried not to grin to much he gulped down the Jell-o then dug into everything else eating it all. Die laughed and walked back into the sitting room and sat down on the couch. Pulling new clothes on Die smiled to himself. *It's like we're actually friends. We're not fighting. Maybe we aren't meant to be...together.* At that though Die's smile fell off his face and he felt like crying. *no...* Die looked up as Shinya walked in, picked up the phone and called a taxi.
"The taxi will be here in five minutes. Lets get downstairs." Shinya turned to Die and saw a look of pure pain on the older mans face. But the look passed so swiftly Shinya wasn't real sure it was there at all. *wishful thinking. He's happy with Kaoru and Toshiya. No love, just sex.* *But he didn't go with them last night* A soft voice countered. Shinya took Die's hand and lead him out of the Room and locking the door behind him, pulled Die into the lift and out to wait on the Taxi. Never letting go of his hand.
Die looked down at Shinya's and his linked hands and smiled. Did that mean his love had forgiven him?? No. He's just playing. Die pulled his hand away from Shinya and sat down in the Taxi stoned faced and stiff. Shinya, seeing this felt his heart wounds break open once more. *Why did he pull his hand away?* *Cause he's scared. Take his hand again.* *BAH!! Get out of my head I can think for myself!* Shinya frowned at himself. He was thinking to himself. O_o;; *Well it's better then talking I guess.* Shinya mentally shrugged and reached for Die's hand. Taking it firmly in his own Shinya held it firm, but lovingly all the way to the Hall. Paying the driver and giving him a tip he pulled Die into the Hall. Dropping his hand when they reached the dressing room and pushed the door open to find Kyo sleeping half naked on the couch and Toshiya and Kaoru cuddling and petting each other in a corner. *Well at least they're dressed.* Shinya walked over to a mirror and stared into it. What was wrong with him, that Die had to take new lovers? *My butt??* Turning so he could inspect his ass Shinya didn't even notice that everyone else was staring at him. Even Kyo had woken for the moment. *Maybe my chest?* Shinya lifted his shirt to look at his chest and frowned. *No...my face?* Shinya leaned into the mirror to see himself up close and pulled on the skin of his cheeks. (NOT ASS CHEEKS!!! FACE CHEEKS!!!-MC) with a frown he sighed and puckered his lips. Running a finger down his reflections cheek Shinya watched a tear roll down the side of on cheek. *No. Don't cry. The only person who has seen you cry is Kyo....and Die but Die doesn't count cause the only time he has seen them is when he was drunk. He doesn't remember them...don't cry now. You have a live in five and a half hours. Your face will still be puffy.* But Shinya couldn't stop the tears. He just stood there with a hand oh the mirror watching his reflection cry. Watching himself cry. He wasn't aware that everyone was watching him. Wasn't aware that Die stood there with his hands in his pockets almost crying himself. Sniffing softly Shinya tried desperately to wipe the tears away. He turned and stumbled blindly towards the make-up table and reached for a box of tissues. Not finding any he tipped the table over and ripped out his drawers. (Okay here comes a twist in the story. Pay attention. The next little part is an insecurity that Shinya has with himself. It's really meaningful to the story-MC) *so long, Shin-chan...So long, you've been holding in the rage. The fear and the madness. Trying to stay calm. Trying to stay happy for everyone. When everyone else was sad, you were happy. Holding them all up. Now it's your turn. Your turn to cry and them to hold you up. And they aren't here. Shin-chan, your alone. Your alone. All...alone. No one to hold you up. All your support's have fallen away, Shin-chan....Shin....Chan...don't hurt your beautiful hands...beautiful face....beautiful eyes....Beautiful stomach...Beautiful body. Shin-chan you are beautiful. Lovely. But......you're not. Not at all. Look closer Shinya. You're lips are to big. Lopsided too. You're face is chubby. Baby fat that never left. You're to skinny. Die said so this morning. Why did you look in the mirror just now? To find what was wrong? You're what's wrong. You....* Shinya turned and threw a drawer at the wall then grabbed the mirror he had been looking at and threw it into a wall also. He felt a pain and looked down. He'd cut his palm. *Red....Red as a rose...Blood red...* Staring at the blood as it dripped to the floor Shinya sunk down onto his knees and fell forward sobbing violently. His shoulders were heaving and his lungs were bursting. He didn't even notice the others....Didn't even know they were there....*Pretty Shin-chan...Pretty....Pretty....Shinya.*
Kyo and the others looked at each other after Shinya was done throwing and kicking.
"Whoa...who knew....Shin-chan..." Kaoru whispered and stared almost fearfully at the youngest member of Dir en grey. Toshiya had his face buried in his lovers chest and was crying. Crying for Shinya and for himself. Die was staring hard at Shinya and Kyo could see the battle that was going on inside the red head's mind. Kyo himself looked around and walked towards Shinya carefully. Making a bit of noise as not to startle the other man. Kneeling next to him he turned Shinya so he faced him and lifted his chin. Wiping his tear away with his thumb he held Shinya against him and rubbed his back.
"Sh.....Shin-kun... don't cry. I'm here. Everyone's here. It's gonna be okay." Kyo whispered.
"H....hai, Kyo. Hai...." Shinya nodded. Numb. He pulled away from Kyo and held out his hand. ‘I cut myself Kyo-kun. It hurts....it's bleeding.....blood....it's bleeding blood."
"Hai, it is bleeding blood Shin-kun. You don't want it to bleed Jell-o do you?" Kyo smiled and motioned for someone to go find a doctor or something. "What's wrong Shin-kun?"
"Am I pretty Kyo?? Pretty?" Shinya looked at the older man pleadingly.
"Hai Shinya, your beautiful." Kyo smiled at his friend.
"Why am I not good enough then, Kyo?? Not good enough for Die...he had to find other people. I wasn't good enough... never. I wasn't good enough for anyone. Never." Shinya looked at Kyo and then at Die. Then back to Kyo. Pulling Shinya up Kyo wrapped his arms around his friend and lifted him up carrying him over and laying him down on the couch. "How did you do that Kyo?? Your so short."
"Gah, SHIN-KUN!!" Kyo whined and herded the other Dir en grey members out the door when Kaoru came back with a doctor. Shutting the door behind him Kaoru, Toshiya, Die and Kyo stood there looking at each other. Kaoru looked at a clock.
"Five hours....Then we have to go on. This is so fucked up, what happened to him?" Kaoru looked at Kyo.
"Who knows. But he had a breakdown, it was bound to happen. I'm glad it did. We would all probably be dead if whatever pushed Shinya off the edge then didn't do it, and he ended up going postal and killing us all. You three better thank whatever pushed him. And we'll still go on. Shinya will insist, once he calms down. I think we expect to much from him. He's not as old as us. Not even as old as Toshiya...and we lean on him. He's the one who holds US up when we're upset. US. Now when he needed us we we're the ones who had hurt him. All of us. Die by screwing Totchi and Kaoru, Totchi by coming up with the idea, Kaoru for not stopping it and me for not being a good enough friend to warn him, to see it, to help him. All of us are responsible. We all did this to him. And now we have to help fix it." ( AAAAAAWWWWWW KAWAII!!! Kyo's being brave and strong and helpful for once in a fan fic of mine. ^____________^-MC) Kyo turned and looked at Die, who looked absolutely miserable tears were running down his cheeks but Kyo couldn't really feel to bad. "Die do you love him?? Really love him. Not just want him?"
"I do....the first time I told him I loved him...he didn't say it back. He didn't say anything. He just went to sleep...and I was looking forward to a night with Kaoru and Totchi....he didn't please me. He slept...He didn't care..." Die looked at the floor suddenly feeling like what he just said was so petty...so shallow...
"Oh Jesus on a Stick, Die!! If you just fucked him, said you loved him and expected him to be up to taking you down his throat you must be stupid! Even I know that when you fuck someone, you fuck them good. They get so worn out they can't even stay awake." Kyo yelled at Die and shook his head. "You should know that."
"I know now." Die mumbled.
"Well fine. You stay with him exclusively if he'll even take you back. You stay with him and you love him with everything you have." Kyo turned to Toshiya. "And Totchi? If you go near Die again I'll strip you make a bunch of tiny little cut's all over on you're skin and then throw you into freezing cold salt water, dump a vat of fine salt into the water and throw you over a cliff. Got it? You stay the fuck away from Die and let him and Shinya be!" Kyo growled at Toshiya.
"I got it." Toshiya mumbled.
"And you Kaoru, if you even think Toshiya's going to fuck around with Die and Shinya's relationship, you tie him to the bed or I'll do what I just threatened Toshiya with. And if I do anything to hurt Shinya, I want you all to tie me to the top of the car and drive down the highway, throw me into the ocean and let me walk all the way back. Got it?" He didn't wait for the others to respond. "Good. Let's go see Shinya now and see if he's up to the Live."
"Yeah..."Kaoru turned and pushed the door open to find the room the same as they had left it and Shinya laying on the couch with a bandage wrapped around his hand.
"Hey...Sorry about what happened...." Shinya looked away.
"It's okay. Not your fault. We worked it out. You up to playing the live?" Toshiya stared down at Shinya and the youngest Dir en grey member looked up into the eyes of the second youngest Dir en grey member.
"Yeah. I'll play." Shinya said shortly. Toshiya could almost feel the hatred in those eyes and looked away. Kyo, Kaoru, Toshiya and Die all nodded. Almost as one person and waved to the people standing at the door and told them to clean up.

Ten minutes before they were supposed to be on stage Die was looking for Shinya. He found him sitting along staring into a mirror.
"You're beautiful. Beautiful Shinya. Not mine...not mine anymore." Die whispered to Shinya, sitting next to him. Shinya turned to him and blinked
"I'm yours Die. Even if we are upset with each other. Even if I'm not a good enough bed partner..." Shinya looked down. Lifting Shinya's chin Die looked deeply into his loves eyes and smiled.
"You're great in bed. And now it seems shallow, but that first time I told you I love you, after we had sex. When you didn't say it back, and didn't try to please me like I had you, I felt like you didn't care. That it was sex and nothing more. But now that I look back, that night, it wasn't the first time we had sex. It wasn't even like that. But I told you I loved you, even though I had been cheating on you. It's weird. Cause that night it wasn't sex. It was love that night...but it is now." Die cupped Shinya's chin in his palm and kissed the tears away from his lovers cheeks. "Don't cry. We have five minutes before we have to be on, or by the stage.
"Die...I love you." Shinya smiled into Die's face. "That night, I couldn't please you because you had pleased me first. When we have sex Die, it's not special. Tonight I want to make love to you. Please Die...I don't even care if you go with Kao-chan and Totchi-chan....Not as long as you love me."
"I do love you. A lot....you're my other half Shinya....and I won't have sex with those two anymore. Only you, Shinya. Only you." Lowering his lips to meet Shinya's they were only a half inch apart when the door burst open and Kaoru grabbed them and drug them to the stage.
"Sorry guy's....wait till after the show. We're on. Now." Kaoru pushed them on stage and they all ran to where they were meant to be. The fans were screaming and yelling. Shinya smiled, Die Smiled, Kaoru smiled, Toshiya smiled, Kyo rolled his eyes and signaled for the first song to begin. Everything went perfect during the show. Die kept getting as close as he could to Shinya's Drums and Kaoru and Toshiya kept making ‘eye's' and Kyo just sang and sang. Giving it all to his fans.
As the group left stage everyone was cheering, they went back for three encores and when it was all over the collapsed on the couch. Kyo went in first and fell down leaning on his hand panting and grinning, then came Toshiya and Kaoru, at each other's faces and neck's like Bunny's on Prozac, making-out all the while and settling themselves on the couch. Then came Die and Shinya. Apart. Separate...Die turned to Shinya and took the younger man in his arms. Everyone stooped and turned to watch them. Shinya smiled up into Die's face and closed his eyes. Kyo, Toshiya, and Kaoru sucked in their breaths and held it. Die lowered his lips to Shinya's. The other three Dir en grey members opened their eyes really wide still holding their breathes. And Shinya pushed himself up and kissed Die. Kyo, Toshiya, Kaoru let out their breath and smiled at each other. Shinya and Die stood there kissing. It was sweet and loving yet fierce and hungry. Shinya parted his lips to let Die's tongue enter and then slipped his tongue into Die's mouth. Exploring the familiar yet new territory. After a about a minute they decided they had to breath and pulled away from each other gasping and panting. The others had gone back to doing what they did best. Kyo was sleeping and Toshiya and Kaoru were going at each other like rabbit's again, behind the couch. Shinya watched Toshiya's skirt fly over the back and land on Kyo, then Kaoru's shirt and pants, the Toshiya's shirt and then shoes flew through the air. Die and Shinya smiled at each other and walked over to the make-up mirrors on opposite sides of the room and removing their make up. Shinya remembered how Kyo had been on stage. Everything out and giving. He gave everything to the audience. Everything. Shinya smiled and glanced at Die. But that's how it should be. Right? I should give my all to Die. Like Kyo did for the fans.
*Damn straight. You finally figured out who's the perfect person around here. Kyo. Oh, don't call him Kawaii anymore....and be more like him....BE LIKE KYO!!!* Shinya frowned for a second. That voice. Turning his head he looked at Kyo, who had both eye's open and was looking at him. Shinya blinked. Kyo winked and then closed his eyes.
Die sat there and smiled at his reflection. Shinya and I are going to make love tonight. Not just have sex. Make love....Die smiled.
*HEY!! BAKA DIE!!! DIE BAKA!!! Look at Shinya. He loves you. Look at the glow in his skin. He's in LLLLLLLOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEE. All in love with YYYYYOOOOUUUU, BAKA DIE!!* Die blinked. That voice that had been bothering him all that time....sounded strangely like...Die glanced at Kyo and saw the man staring at him. With a wink and peace sign Kyo closed his eyes again. Kyo....Die looked at Shinya and found the younger man looking at him. They both looked at Kyo and then burst out laughing.

Fin

AAAAAAHHHHHH I know.....the ending was a bit.....stupid. But I liked it. E-mail me comments. I wish to know what you think ~_^ ~~~~~~MC

Please send comments to author: Mana Crystal

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