Bands: Dir en grey

Pairing: Kyo x Toshiya, Shinya x Kaoru, Shinya x Toshiya, Die x Toshiya

Warnings: OOC, Lime, some lemonish stuff.

Comments: um, my internet is down. (Stupid Qwest!!!!) So I'm writing this. It's a beginning of a trilogy of Aerosmith songs. :) so I think I'll call it ‘The Areosmith Trilogy' hehehe..x-x;;; I'm really bored. ;_; also, the song is called ‘Falling in Love (Is hard on the Knees)' by Aerosmith and I've never heard the song, I was looking through Aerosmith Lyrics on the A-Z lyric page and found this, go the idea and am typing it. :) so if the lyrics are wrong...to bad. Not my fault. Don't sue me I have no money, don't sue my parents they have less, don't sue anyone involved, no one I know has money. Song lyrics are between ~'s and thoughts are *'s

~~~~

You're so bad you're so bad you're so

You're so bad you're so bad

~~~~

Kyo yawned and pushed a hand through his unruly hair. He was watching Shinya argue with Kaoru. A now common occurance since the drummer began writing songs on a regular basis. With a chuckle he pushed himself up from the couch and walked out of the room. *Those two....I wonder when they'll finally get together...* Practice was going to start in a few minutes and Kyo wanted a smoke before it began. Taking his own sweet time he wandered up to the roof where Die and Toshiya had fled to when the arguing began. Kyo frowned when he opened the door to the roof. He didn't see the others anywhere. *where....* he frowned again as he heard a moan from behind the little building that the door opened from (you know what I'm talking about, right?) He peered around the corner to find Toshiya bent over and Die slamming into him from behind. Kyo yelped as the two frowned and turned to stare at him.

"Fuck, oh my god....I'm so sorry...sorry....sorry." Kyo apologized and turned stumbling blindly down the stairs before stopping and leaning back against the wall. He leaned his head back and cried softly. Tears falling down his cheeks. He heard the door open above him and he ducked into the washroom door next to him. He turned on the water in the sink and splashed water on his face, hoping that it wouldn't look like he had been crying. The washroom door opened and Toshiya stepped in. Kyo grabbed some paper towels and wiped his face off.

~~~~

You think you're in love

Like it's a real sure thing

But every time you fall

You get your ass in a sling

~~~~

"Kyo..." Toshiya spoke softly and blushed slightly.

"Where's Die? I hope I didn't spoil anything...." Kyo asked tossing the paper towel in the garbage.

"I love him, Kyo..." Toshiya said suddenly.

‘You do?" Kyo turned and raised a brow Looking at his roommate and friend. *He's doing it again* every few month's it was someone new. Kyo had sat by and watched as every month Toshiya ‘fell in love' with someone new. It was sad because every time he ended up falling. Not in love but flat on his ass. *If thats possible and everytime it's me who picks him up and keeps him safe till he gets a new one. And somewhere along this fucked up line I ended up falling for him. Dammit I hate breaking my ass for a guy who doesn't care one rats ass about me.* Kyo smiled a bit painfully and patted toshiya on the shoulder lightly.

"I'm happy for you." Kyo smiled and brushed past Toshiya with a quick kiss to the cheek and walked down the rest of the stairs to the Practice room, leaving the bassist staring at him.

~~~~

You used to be strong

But now it's ooh baby please 'Cause falling in love is so hard on the knees

~~~~

Kyo sighed and put the key to his and Toshiya's apartment in the lock. He had just come home after going to see a movie. Practice had ended a few hours ago and Kyo wasn't ready to come home until now. With a tired sigh he pushed open the door and walked in flipping the lights on to find Die leaning against the far wall, naked and Toshiya on his knees in front of him. Kyo sighed and walked past them ignoring their glares. He opened the cupboard and pulled out a cup, filling it with water then walking back out, flopping down on the couch and turning on the t.v. Die cleared his throat. Kyo sighed and turned to look at him.

"What?" Kyo asked.

"You think maybe you could leave us alone?" Die asked and Kyo raised a brow. Toshiya was leaning his cheek against the red heads thigh staring at the vocalist with a strange look on his face.

"Hum, I have an idea. How bout you two leave? I just got home, I'm exhausted, I'm also sick of having to see you two go at it like rabbits. Fuck for the last three months (Yeah it's about 3 month's after the last little part) all I've opened doors to is you two fucking. This is my apartment too. I think I've been nice enough leaving almost every night so you two can fuck in the living room...why can't you just use Totchi's bed? I want to watch t.v. You two can deal with it. You can leave or go to his room, or fuck right there for all I care. Just leave me alone." Kyo snarled a bit angrily before turning his attention back to the t.v. After a moment he heard the two resume their activity's and sighed with resignation. Focusing on the t.v. Kyo ignored the two men behind him.

~~~~

You're so bad you're so bad you're so

You're so bad you're so bad

~~~~

"Kyo...." Toshiya stood in the darkened doorway of Kyo's bedroom. The vocalist looked up from his little gerbil rats things that sat in his lap he stared at the bass player silently. *Die left him....*

"Yes?" Kyo put his friends back into their cages and opened his arms to his friend. The black headed man ran into them and sobbed against his chest.

"I left him...Kyo...me, I left him and I don't know what to do...." Toshiya sobbed. Kyo blinked.

"You left him?"

"Yeah."

"Why...?"

"I want you." Toshiya stopped crying and pressed his lips to Kyo's harshly. Kyo stood still for a moment then responded to the kiss. *Dammit Totchi....you're so awful......*

~~~~

We was making love when you told me that you loved me

I thought ol' cupid he was taking aim

~~~~

"Kyo.....K...Kyo.... I love you..." Toshiya moaned as Kyo thrust into him. The small vocalist pounded into the younger man. Toshiya bit down on his lip as Kyo hit his pleasure spot again and again. With a sharp cry Kyo grabbed Toshiya's hips and buried his full length in the other man, feeling him clamp down around him.

"Totchi...." The name fell from the vocalist's lips softly as he heard his lover say those words for the first time.

~~~~

I was a believer when you told me that you loved me

And then you called me someone else's name

~~~~

Kyo moaned and came tossing his head.

"I love you...love you....Shinya...." Toshiya cried out softly as he came forcfully. Kyo heard the name and collapsed ontop of the other man. He didn't say anything about it. Toshiya didn't notice that he had said the name aloud. The older man smiled and kissed the others forehead as the younger man drifted off to sleep. After a moment a tortured sob came from the smaller mans shaking body.

~~~~

There ain't gonna be no more beggin' you please

You know what I want

And it ain't one of these

~~~~

Kyo woke the next morning to find a note on the table.

Kyo~

Went to lunch with Shin-chan. See you tonight.

~Toshiya

Kyo sighed and stared at the hand writing. Picking up the phone he dialed Kaoru's apartment.

"Moshi moshi?" Kaoru answered.

"Kaoru? It's Kyo. Where's Shinya?"

"With Toshiya..why?"

"I need to tell you something can you come over?"

"Sure. See you in a few."

Kyo hung up the phone and sat naked, except his boxers on the couch. A few minutes later Kaoru knocked.

"Come in!" Kyo shouted and smiled sadly at the other man as he sat next to him.

"Kyo, what's wrong?" Kaoru asked and pushed a hand through his hair with a frown.

"I want to tell you, Kao. But then again, I don't. If I tell you it's gonna fuck up what you have with Shinya....and I don't want you to hate me for it..." Kyo stared at his hands, twisting them in his lap.

"Tell me."

"Toshiya called out someone else's name in bed last night...."

"How does th-"

"He called out Shinya's name. Right after he said he loved me for the first time. He said ‘Kyo....I love you, I love you, love you....Shinya.'..." Kyo moaned and fell against Kaoru's chest weakly.

"Jesus, Kyo....what now?"

"Don't know." Kyo didn't cry he just lay there in Kaoru's arms. "Just know I don't want this....you think maybe I should just kick him out?"

"No. Yes, I don't know....why don't you stay at my place for a while? It's not like I live with Shinya....or anyone else, and it's big enough..." Kaoru said with a nod, pushing his anger at Shinya to the back of his mind, wrapping his arms around Kyo the older of the two rocked his friend gently.

"Fine. Whatever."

Kyo's mobile phone rang softly through the apartment. Kaoru was gone to talk to Shinya and Kyo was left, sitting and watching t.v.

"Where are you?" Toshiya's voice drifted out of the phone.

"Kaoru's. I'm gonna stay here for a while."

"Why?"

"Because, Toshiya, you don't love me. You don't and you never will. That's why I'm staying here at Kaoru's apartment. You don't have to move out, when I can view you as a friend again, we'll talk. But not until.

"Why? What are you talking about? How can you say that?"

"Because. You called out Shinya's name last night. And I'm not Shinya. And it wasn't Shinya fucking you. Goodnight, Totchi." Kyo sighed and hung up.

~~~~

You're bad to the bone

And your girlfriend agrees That falling in love is so hard on the knees

~~~~

Kyo pushed a hand through his hair, happy that there was no practice for about two weeks. Kaoru's phone rang. Kyo sighed and lifted it to his ear.

"Moshi, moshi?"

"Kyo?" It was Shinya.

"Hai?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know he was with you...I really didn't know."

"Do you love him?"

"No. Not if it would mean losing Kaoru, beside's he likes me on my knees.....so loving him would be hard on the knees." Shinya chuckled and Kyo smiled in spite of himself.

~~~~

You're so bad you're so bad you're so

You're so bad you're so bad

~~~~

"Fuck off, Kyo..." Toshiya said with a growl as Kyo knocked on the door. Kyo sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. For three month's he had been living with Toshiya again, every moment was pure agony. Toshiya dropped the subject the moment he moved back in, and every night someone new was in his bed. He didn't care about anyone but himself and Kyo stood there like an idiot as Toshiya abused his friendship. Kyo sighed. Just last night the other man had hit him across the face when he had suggested that he not bring people home anymore. Calling him a pathetic fuck who couldn't get over him. Kyo shook his head and wandered back into the living room, putting a Raphael CD in the CD player.

~~~~

Chip off the old block

Man you're so much like your sister

~~~~

Kyo sighed as he watched the sky out the window Toshiya was so strange. So much like someone he used to know, it was scary. It was like the Toshiya he had fallen in love with was only a sibling or a mirror image of the one that was now living with him. *what's it matter anymore?*

~~~~

My fantasy, it must be out of luck

My old libido has been blowing a transistor

I feel like I have been hit by a fuck

Yeah

~~~~

Kyo dreamed at night, dreamed of Toshiya coming to him and telling him that he loved him. Crying he woke up every morning and got dressed to face the day. *I can't believe this...I love him....I don't even want to live without him....* Kyo laid in bed on day, not bothering to get up with Toshiya yelled that practice was in two hours and to get up. Kyo laid there silently as Toshiya pushed open the door and stared at his unmoving form. The only thing he did was curl into a ball and cry when the other man touched his arm gently.

~~~~

I'm Jonesin' on love

Yeah I got the DT's

You say that we will

But there ain't no guarantees

~~~~

"Kyo?"

"You're like a drug Totchi and I hurt without you and I hurt with you and I'm sick of you but I want more. I hate you Totchi...and I love you just as much..."

"We'll be together again, Kyo..I know we will." Kyo rolled away from his friends touches. No promises....

~~~~

I'm major in love

But in all minor keys

Cause falling in love is so hard on the knees

~~~~

Kyo didn't go in to practice that day and Toshiya left, saying that he would come back as soon as practice was over. When he returned he took Kyo in his arms and kissed him gently. That night Kyo ended up on his knees again. When it was over he lay in the cirlce of Toshiya's arms and sighed softly staring blankly at the window.

~~~~

What are you looking for

It's got to be hard core

Must be some kind of nouveau riche

~~~~

Kyo stood silently in the door watching Toshiya flirt with Shinya. The drummer didn't look like he was going to protest. Kyo cleared his throat and walked into the room, making the two jump apart and look innocent. The shorter man felt his heart harden in his chest as he stared at his love. *Not again. I won't let you hurt me again.*

~~~~

Is this your only chance

Or some hypnotic trance

Let's get you on a tighter leash

~~~~

The older man walked up and grabbed the Bass player by the back of the head, crushing his lips to the younger ones. Toshiya gasped as Kyo pulled away. The others had gone out for a smoke, or in Shinya's case had tagged along to bitch about the danger of smoking. Kyo growled softly kissing the other more gently allowing the other to savor it before letting go and walking away to go and smoke as well.

"Kyo?"

"You're mine, Totchi, mine. I won't let you hurt me anymore." Kyo stared at the stunned man for a moment before walking away.

~~~~

Own it own it own it

You're so bad you're so bad you're so

You're so bad you're so bad

~~~~

Kyo shook his head n anger and sadness as he watched Toshiya steal a passonate kiss from the youngest of the band. Kaoru stood next to him watching with sad eyes. Kyo clentched his fist and watched as the two began to undrss themselves. Kaoru took his hand and pulled him away. The vocalist allowed himself to be pulled but kept his eyes fixed on the two figures.

~~~~You ain't that good

Is what you said, down to the letter

But you like the way I hold the microphone

~~~~

"Tell me why." Kyo stood in the doorway of Toshiya's oom while the younger man sat on his bed. The bass player rolled his eyes.

"Because he's better in bed. And you aren't that good." Toshiya smirked and turned back to read his magazines. Kyo gripped the doorway and watched the still form of his lover. The next day at practice, Kyo had found it strange, Toshiya was giving him that strange look again as he sang, screaming the words into the mic.

~~~~

Sometimes I'm good but when I'm bad

I'm even better

Don't give me no lip

I've got enough of my own

~~~~

"Leave, you have till tomorrow to pack you're shit and get the fuck out of my apartment. Anything that isn't gone by twelve I'm going to take to the roof and burn." Kyo said this quietly and walked out of his former lovers room. It had been a week since he had asked him why and Kyo had spent it locked in his room trying to think of what to do. Toshiya jumped up and followed him.

"What? Why!? Where will I go?" Toshiya asked.

"Leave, you know why, and I don't care, just as long as it's away from me. Now shut the fuck up and start packing. I don't want you around when I come back. And I swear to fucking god if you start talking back to me I'll hit you so fucking hard you won't wake up till next Christmas." With this Klyo slammed the door andw alked to his car, getting in and driving away.

~~~~

There ain't gonna be no more beggin' you please

You know what I want

And it ain't one of these

~~~~

After Toshiya called three times, Kyo turned his mobile phone off. He gave Toshiya and extra day by not returning for two days. Waiting till he knew that even if Toshiya had staied he would be gone for practice. He went home and changed all the locks. Looking around the apartment, Kyo found only half of Toshiya's stuff was gone. Instead of burning it he packed it into boxes and shoved it in the closet's. When Toshiya returned he couldn't get in, and Kyo wouldn't open the door. Kyo sighed as he heard the other man shout and then leave. He didn't know where the other man was headed but he really didn't care *No that's not true, I do care, but I'm not going to beg him to come back and hurt me again. Let him go to Shinya.....* the vocalist sighed and fell back into the couch, staring blankly at nothing.

~~~~

You're bad to the bone

And your girlfriend agrees

That falling in love is so hard on the knees

~~~~

Kyo sighed and finally told Kaoru he would come to practice. When he got there, Kaoru and Die were on the roof and Shinya was on his knees in front of Toshiya, in the practice room. Kyo walked in and dropped his bag before heading to the roof. The two men in the practice room froze and stared at Kyo. As he left he heard Toshiya burst into tears and then Shinya's words of comfort.

"You know their fucking again?" Kyo asked as he came up onto the roof.

"Yeah. I'm getting sick of it. They are worse then Toshiya was with me." Die said. They finished their smokes then headed back down to find Toshiya gone and Shinya crying that the bassist had told him that it was over. Kyo stood back staring at the youngest member of Deg. With a sigh he took him in his arms and comforted the other man.

"I told you....and you agreed that he was too hard on the knees. Why?"

"Oh...Kyo.." Shinya sobbed as the other handed him over to Kaoru and stood up walking out of the building.

~~~~

I'm Jonesin' on love

Yeah I got the DT's

You say that we will yeah

But there ain't no guarantees

~~~~

Kyo flipped through the channels. No one had heard from Toshiya for a while and they were all getting a bit worried. Kyo knew that the other man would show up when he decided to and not a moment earlier. At least this way, Kaoru and Shinya ended up back together and Die was dating a "nice boy" from the band L'Arc en ciel. Kyo settled on the music station and stood up walking into the kitchen. He missed Toshiya. A lot. Since the other had dissapeared he was all that was on Kyo's mind. *He really is like a drug....* Kyo laid back down on the couch and stared at the little dancing figures on the t.v. *he said we'd be together again....he's a liar.*

~~~~

I'm major in love

But in all minor keys

'Cause falling in love is so hard on the knees

~~~~

Kyo woke the next morning and opened his closet to find all of Toshiya's clothes and boxes gone. He stood there as a note fluttered to the floor. Picking it up he read it slowly.

Kyo~

I took my stuff. See you at practice. Now you can't say that love's hard on the knees. You don't have to get on them for me anymore.

~Toshiya

Falling to his knees, Kyo clutched the note and sobbed.

"Liar. Look I'm on them right now." Kyo cried out. With a sob he ripped the note in half and curled into a ball.

~TBC~

Hum, nice hum? Well um...dyed my hair, didn't really work. Anyway, more will come in the next part of the trilogy. :)

~Mana Crystal

8:04 PM 4/20/2002 (4:20!!!!!!)