HOW TO WOO MEN

by Nika

Genre: Comedy, Soap-like Drama, loads of confusion
Band: Pierrot
Pairing: Aiji x... *laughs*

As you can see I'm taking a break from No Heart to write a comedy.
But don't worry, No Heart 13 is already about 600 words long.
This is dedicated to all Pierrot Fans, especially to J-chan, who has
suffered much in the last week.
Here is her feel-better-story.
*bows to readera*

Part 1

"What does it take?", Aiji asked, next to him, Kirito stared out of the
window and mused about the world, seemingly. The band-leader turned to his
friend.
"To do what?", he returned the question, face full of concern. The
guitarist sighed and shrugged, before he mumbles a low: "Make someone want
you."
Kirito smiles puzzled, then he leans towards Aiji's ear: "You can't tell me
you never made anyone want you?"
"I made anyone want me, but it's... They always wanted me all by themselves
before, so I just had to ask, you see the difference?", the younger man
tried to explain, his calm expression somewhat troubles by the confession.
The band-leader grinned: "And now you want to woo someone who doesn't'
want you and don't know how?" The guitarist gets sank deeper into the seat
nodded shyly: "You're the man of words, so I though, maybe you can help
me." Inwardly Aiji hoped he had been right asking Kirito for advice. After
all, he was quite a dork, but no one could handle words better than their
singer. And since Kirito was the oldest, he might have had more experience
with this sort of thing.
"Maybe", the leader answered cryptically. "Depends on the hardness of the
nut you want to crack."
Aiji cleared his throat a few times, finding sudden interest in the tattoos
on his fingers, stalling the answer to the extreme, making the singer shrug
and turn to the window again.
"Do you promise, you won't tease me or laugh?", Aiji spurted out, suddenly,
again gaining the interest of his friend. Kirito nodded, but the other man
wasn't convinced.
"Say it", he commanded.
"I promise I won't laugh or tease you. But, please don't stall this any
further. It's really ridiculous, na."
Aiji shifted closer to the singer's body, whispering: "I'm really in a
pinch, because... because it's not about a girl this time."
"Really?!", the singer's eyes grew big, his smile returning to his face.
But when he saw his band-mate paling at his outburst, he pressed a hand to
his lips and patted Aiji's hand. "Gomen, please go on. Is it a special
someone? Taizo-kun, perhaps? He adores you, so that would be no problem."
Aiji's brows furrowed in wonder: "Taizo?"
"Yes, you never notice when he gives you those pining looks?"
The guitarist thought back, trying to find a situation where he would have
noticed.
"I had no idea...", he has to admit after some seconds, making Kirito shake
his head in an amused manner.
"If only it were him", Aiji continued, while he tried to get even smaller.
"So, it isn't him. Who else is there...? Me?", the singer gave his friend a
batting of his eye-lashes and a formidable smile as proof of his
irresistible charm.
Aiji laughed against his will: "No, self-conceited dork, not you!"
He grabbed Kirito's head and pointed discreetly. All Kirito saw was two
men, talking animated, and when he looked closer, he finally realized that
one of them was Jun and the one Aiji's hand was pointing to was... Kohta?
"You can't be serious!", he almost choked from the shock.
"But I am. Terrible, isn't it?", Aiji sighed and leaned back into the seat,
his face tired. "I've come to realize, that he's the one that makes my
heart go faster."
When Kirito finally settled back into his seat again, he was pale as a
wall, still trying to get over the shock that his friend was desiring his
own brother.
"So, do you now think that you can help me?", Aiji repeated his plea for
help softly.
"I...", Kirito was drawn into the pleading eyes of his friend.
"I...will...try...."
Then he started to work on a plan to woo his very own brother.
He failed at the very attempt to see his brother as anything than his
little pest of a sibling, and even though he loved the younger man, it
wasn't in his heart to find anything else except brotherly feelings.
Looking around the found Aiji's eyes, filled with the hope and believe that
he, Kirito could help him. The singer knew very well, that Kohta wasn't so
much impressed by sweet words but any other than that.
What in the world would make his brother, who always pointed out that he
was oh-so-manly, fall for another man?
Sighing he suddenly had an idea who to ask for help: Jun.
When they arrived, Aiji brought him out of his reverie, and Kirito smiled
at his friend: "I may have a bloody brilliant idea. Will get back to you
later, okay?"
Aiji nodded hopefully, before they all settled into their assigned
hotel-rooms for the night.


Kirito knocked at Jun's door carefully, hearing a the noises of the TV
coming from the inside. After some time, while actually nothing at all
happened, Kirito was taken aback when the door suddenly opened in a hurry,
revealing a smiling Jun.
The guitarist bit his lower lip and smiled excusingly at his friend:
"Sorry! I was not sue if there was actually someone at the door."
"Never mind", the singer gasped, "I have to talk to you Jun. It's
something...um...private."
The other man's eyebrows flew high and he gave Kirito surprise at it's
best: "Private?", he claimed.
"Shhh, yes. Can I come in?"
Jun shrugged and let the older man enter his realm, before he remembered
the TV was still on and also loud as hell, jumping for the remote to press
the mute-button.
"So what's this 'private' talk all about? Sounds like you're only looking
for trouble again. Or are you already in trouble?" [Probably ending up with
me having to take all the guilt and consequences, like always] Jun added
inwardly, sighed and flopped onto the couch, which happened to be green
for unknown reasons. Kirito made a face, showing that Jun was close to the
truth, making the other sigh again.
"So, what is it this time?", the guitarist asked, his voice already annoyed
an tired at the same time.
"Nothing too bad, but I really need your help", Kirito confessed, sitting
down next to Jun. "There is someone who really fancies...", the singer had
a hard time even saying it. "Who fancies Kohta."
Jun's face shone with an amused and cute grin: "So, what's so special about
that?", he giggled a little, "You can't cope with the fact that someone
favors your brother?" He received a LOOK from Kirito, only serving to make
him laugh harder, while the singer shrugged.
"Aw, please just shut up, Jun. Quite on the contrary, I was asked to help
winning his heart, but I know nothing about, you know, Kohta's taste in
such matters." Jun got a grip on himself and shook his head: "And so you
thought ask Jun?"
"I guess", Kirito admitted, giving Jun a small smirk. "Do you know any
trick that will make Kohta's heart beat faster?"
Jun pondered that question for some time, while Kirito suggests things like:
"Flowers?"
Laughter.
"Love letters?"
More laughter.
"Poetry?"
Insane laughter from both men.
"Food!", Jun finally utters. "He will always go for someone who is good at
making Onigiri for him." He nodded with determination. Kirito imagined Aiji
cooking for Kohta, reliving some of the less lethal meals, produced by the
guitarist and still shuddering from the memory.
"Definitely out of the question", he gulps down some stomach acid, turning
pale. The younger man feels Kirito's forehead with worry: "Are you sick?",
but the singer shakes his head, wiping the gentle hand away. The singer
took a deep breath, brushing away all thoughts about cuisine a la Aiji. His
face regained some of it's color.
None the less, a frown appeared on Jun's forehead: "I guess, it would help
if I knew who is actually after our bassist."
"I promised not to tell, sorry."
Jun sighed: "I don't know, Maybe we should at least try the love-letter idea."
Kirito agreed, so Jun searched for some paper and pencil to write it down.
"Dearest Kohta...", he started, reading aloud what he was writing, but
Kirito frowned. Jun growled: "What?!"
"Much too romantic and sweet. That won't work on my brother", Kirito stated
without any emotion. The small shoulders of the guitarist slumped: "Then
suggest something better, Mr. Smooth-With-Words."
Kirito thought about the way Aiji would talk to Kohta, but getting no clue
there either. Raising his hands in defeat, he sighed: "Dam it. If you were
in love with Kohta, what would you tell him?"
The guitarist's eyes grew wide: "ME?!" before he doubled over with
laughter: "Me in love with Kohta?" Kirito snorted and softly whacked Jun to
get his attention: "You're an artist, for heaven's sake, so be creative!
Just assume you are, what would you write?
Pouting Jun rubbed the sore patch on his upper arm, seeing Kirito taking
the pencil to write down any suggestion. "Mou, that hurt. Why did you have
to hit me?"
"You're not really helpful."
"Bastard", Jun mumbled and received another glare. "I suppose I can't help
you after all. Better find someone else to get that done. How about Aiji?
He gets all the girls", Jun tried to get rid of Kirito.
"Not true, you get all the girls", the singer stated matter of factly, a
big and naughty grin plastered on his face, before he threatened the
younger man: "I won't leave until we get this done"
"I never should have opened that door...", Jun mumbled regretfully, longing
to watch some anime and relax instead of writing love-letters to Kohta.
Kirito laughed: "You're right."
"okay, okay..." Jun gave in. He buried his face in his hands for a few
seconds, then he comes up, his face frowned in concentration, nodded to the
singer and started: "Kohta, I know you never notice, but I can't help
myself but admire..."
The pencil danced over the white paper.

Nika *squints and listens to Duran Duran*

 

to be continued

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