MARCH 31 “ Do you think things
are still the same
in the other world?” March
31, he stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door hard behind him. My
heart pounded fast, I wanted to stop him but my pride had made me mute at
that moment. I
waited for him to come back so that I can apologize to him but he never
gives me a chance. That day was the last time I saw
him. It
should be a joyful day for me, it’s my birthday today and he had promised
to bring me out for dinner and accompany me for the whole day. I know he
would never break his promise nor lied to me but he had broken his promise
on this very special occasion. It
was the first time but also the last time. He just left me…
1st
April. Someone
tries to make fun of me, thinking that I can easily be tricked. They
called and called again even though I keep hanging up their phone. I was
still waiting for him to come back and was in no mood to play with ‘them’.
The
phone rang again; it had been several times since I had hanged it up. ‘
Why can’t these peoples stop harassing me?’ “
Hello!” I exclaim when picking up the phone again. “
Toshiya! Stop hanging up the phone!!” The person yelled at the other side
of the phone and it seem that it was not the first time he had screamed at
Toshiya. “
Kyo!” Toshiya yelled back. “ Please, I’m in no mood to joked with
you!” “
I’m not JOKING!!” “
Kyo… I said I have no mood…” Toshiya’s voice was shaking
now. “
Toshiya…” Kyo could hear sobbing sound at the other side of the
phone. Toshiya’s
voice finally broke down. He knows Kyo was not joking with him at the very
beginning. He treated it as a joke because he just doesn’t want to admit
what he had heard from his friend. “
Why? Why can’t you just admit that you’re joking with me? ……
Why?” The
wind was blowing strongly at every one of us. The fans were crying, Shinya
was crying even Kyo’s eyes were reddened. Everyone who knows him was
weeping quietly or crying out aloud. I
just don’t know what is wrong with me. I was standing in front of his
grave and stare blankly at it. No pain, no tears, no anything which was
not suppose to be what a lover should be like. The
ceremony went on smoothly. I saw the worker lowering his body into the
ground slowly until it can’t be seem. Friends and relatives went forward
to have a last look at him, but I did not. Shinya pulled me, Kyo pushed me
but I still did not move until they finally give up. Kyo
and Shinya approached me again when everything was done. I was stilling
standing there staring at don’t know whatever. “
What do you think you’re doing?” Shinya spoke angrily at
me. “
……” I remained silent. Kyo
pouted. I
smiled. I
laughed. My
laughter becomes more and more hysterical. Kyo and Shinya looked at me in
surprised, others stared at me. I
just came stop laughing until my surrounding starts to
blackout. “
TOSHIYA!!?” My name was the last echo I heard. Kyo
and Shinya walks out of the ward, Toshiya was still sleeping and they
decide to proceed to the emergency department where Die was now
in. Die
had not wakened up since that day he and Kaoru met the accident; he was
lucky that he had survived in such a serious crash. Kyo
sighed. Shinya
looked worrying at his sleeping bandmate. Kyo
just could not imagine what Die would react when he know what had happened
to his best friend. Shinya
prayed for Die to wake up soon but the person he was more worried about
was actually Toshiya. He knows the strike for Toshiya was too big,
especially after seeing how he had behaved during the
funeral. <Flashback> March
31. Die
was keeping Kaoru accompany after he know that Kaoru had quarrel with
Toshiya. They were both drunk when they left the pub where the owner of
the pub still warn them not to drive but was being ignored of
course. Then
the accident happened the very next moment when they were on he road. Die
was at the driver seat while Kaoru was sitting behind; therefore Kaoru was
thrown out of the car during the impact while Die was save by the safety
belt. “
Kao…ru…” Die called in a weak voice when he sees his friend lying on the
road just in front of him before he loses consciousness.
Lying
on the road, Kaoru was still in conscious and was having difficultly
breathing. He tries to move but he could not, his body was all in pain.
Slowly, he felt like sleeping and closes his eyes. Totchi…
sorry…I broke my promised. <End
of flashback> 4th
April. Die
opens his eyes. He stared vacantly at the ceiling, trying to regain his
thought. Die!
Die, can you hear us? Someone
was calling his name, somehow a familiar voice to him. Kyo? What’s going
on here? Where am I? Why’s Kyo shouting at my name? And why can’t I speak
out? Followed
by, he could see doctors and nurses moving around him, touching him and
talking to one another. He was so tired that he falls asleep
again. Toshiya
wakes up in the dark ward. He look around, no one was there. Where’s
Kaoru? Where am I? The
door opened lightly, Toshiya looks at the direction whereby he saw someone
walking in, someone who look familiar. “ Who is it?” That person switches
on the light; Toshiya stared at that person. Who’s this guy? He… somehow
looks like… “
Toshiya! You’re awake!” Toshiya?
He called me Toshiya? Oh yes I remember now, my name is Toshiya and I
am… Shinya
look worried, Toshiya seem to not recognize him. “ Are you alright,
Totchi?” “
Shinya?” Shinya
finally felt relief when Toshiya called out his name. He was so afraid
just now that his friend wouldn’t recognize him. “
What happened to me?” “
…You don’t remember?” “
Where’s Kaoru?” Shinya
was in dilemma, wondering what should he do now. He didn’t expect Toshiya
will ask him this question, he didn’t expect Toshiya would forget what had
happened to Kaoru. Should I tell him the truth? Will he be able to take
it? What if…? Kyo
enter the room at this moment, which let Shinya felt relief. He was really
afraid to tell Toshiya anything now. “ He’s not free at the moment!” Kyo
answered without second thought. Shinya
look at Kyo then back to Toshiya and give the latter a nod of agreement.
It’ll be better this way now. 6th
April. (2 days later) Shinya
enter the ward where Toshiya was in, the thing in his hand dropped, his
heart pump wildly when he saw his friend. “ Toshiya!? Why are you crying?”
He asked anxiously wondering have his friend remember
everything. “
……” “
Toshiya…?” “
Shinya, where’s Kaoru?” What
should I do now? Should I tell him the truth? But the doctor told us not
to excite him now! Toshiya
interrupt Shinya thinking again. “ Why isn’t he’s here these two day?”
Shinya’s
heart was beating faster and faster. He know he is not a good in telling
lie but he have to now. “ Totchi… actually… actually… he… he had went
oversea!” Toshiya
stared at his nervous friend. Shinya felt himself tensing up.
I
don’t think he’s going to believed me…
Die
sits up from the bed looking out of the window. It was a sunny afternoon;
he had just waked up from a dream. He held his hand up and touches the
bruise on his face, he could feel the pain and something watery from his
eyes, tear had formed around his eyes. Kaoru…
sorry, if I haven’t insists of driving when drunk…
Sorry. He
buries his head in both of his hands, he was confused now; he had cause
the death of his best friend and had hurt the heart of anyone who loves
Kaoru. The fans was sad; friend and relative was sad; and especially
Toshiya, the man whom he also in love with since long
ago. How
am I going to face you? Totchi…
Die
quickly wipes his tears away when he hears someone opening the door.
Shinya was standing outside the door with both of his hand carrying bags
of thing. He gives Die a smile, which look rather a tiring one and enter
the room. “
How’s Toshiya?” Shinya
turns around facing Die. Again!
Please stop asking me the same old question! I
tired!
“
He’s fine.” Shinya answered with a force smile. Do
you expect me to tell you that Toshiya is also in the hospital and he had
totally forgotten about Kaoru’s death? And then you start to blame
everything on yourself again. I don’t want to see the sad expression on
your face, you know Die!? “
He must have hated me now…” Die muttered softly. He
has not visit me since the day I woke up. Of course he won’t! You’ve just
killed the love of his life and you expect him to forgive
you!? “
What are you saying?” “
Nothing.” Die
remains silent again. He looks out of the window, the wind feels so
comfortable to him and the sky was so blue. Everything seem so beautiful
to him suddenly, just then he realized how much nature beauty he had
neglected ever since he start to love nightlife. But it is all right
because he can start enjoying this nature beauty again as soon as he
wishes. He was given this chance to admire it again. Is
everything the same there in your world Kaoru?
“
Shinya.” Die call suddenly. “ Do you think Kaoru could see what we are
seeing right here now? The beautiful blue sky, the colorful world?”
Shinya
looks out of he window, the weather was so good. He looks back at Die and
nods his head with a smile. “ He will.” Shinya could feel the pain in Die,
the pain was worse then being stab by a knife. Shinya wanted to hold back
his tear so badly; he does not want to cry in front of Die because he
knows Die may break down anytime. He wants to be strong in front of Die so
that he can be someone who can comfort Die when
needed. “
Really…?” Die said looking at Shinya who was standing there unmoved
staring at don’t know whatever. “ Shinya? Are you
alright?” “
Yes. Kaoru will definitely see it.” Shinya answer and walk to the table
taking up the flask. “ I go to get some hot water.” The
tears were so heavy for Shinya now and he know it may drop down anytime.
He can’t stay in the ward now. “ I’ll be back soon.” Shinya opens the door
and steps out of the ward where he knock onto someone who is walking pass
the ward. The flask in his hand dropped. Die look out of the ward when he
heard the noise. “
Ouch.” Shinya yell when the flask drops onto his
leg. “
I’m sorry… Shinya!?” The person apologizes. Shinya
looks up at that person when he hears his name being mention. “
Toshiya!!” Die
walks to the door and sees the two of them standing there staring at one
another. “ What’s going on?” Die asked. “
Nothing, just…” Shinya was about to explain when Toshiya suddenly
interrupted him. “
KAORU!!” Toshiya exclaimed and hugged Die tightly. Die
was stunned but stand there unmoved. Shinya was confused. Toshiya was
smiling sweetly still clutching onto Die. “
Shinya, why do you lied to me?” Toshiya asked suddenly.
“
Huh?” “
You said Kaoru had went oversea?” Shinya
was still in confused situation. Toshiya is calling Die as Kaoru? What’s
going on? Die was still standing unmoved. Toshiya was staring at Shinya
for an answer. “
Err…” to
be continue… by
Tsmrhara Author: Another fic. A sad one?? I killed KaoKao this time, pls forgive me. If you don’t understand what’s going on in the end, I’ll explain now. Toshiya is calling Die as Kaoru!? Yes. The story will go on like this, Totchi could not take the blow that Kao is death so he starts treating Die as Kaoru. (He is not forcing himself to believe it but he is really thinking that Die is Kaoru) some sort. Shinya>
He likes Die since long ago but he never tells Die because he know Die
loved Toshiya. Ill-fated Shin-chan. Die>
In love with Totchi who is his best friend lover. Another ill-fated guy
but his chance of getting Totchi is higher. This
fic will have another part(which is part 2) and will end.
(Properly) ++
See in part2, how Shinya get mad at Totchi. Jealousy finally take
control of Shin-chan. How Totchi will end up like… Thanks for reading!
^^ |