RIDDLES FROM RIDDLENUT.COM

1. A black dog stands in the middle of an intersecton in a town painted black. None of the street lights are working due to a power failure caused by a storm. A car with two broken headlights drives towards the dog but turns in time to avoid hitting him. How could the driver have seen the dog in time?

2. A grandfather clock chimes the appropriate number of times to indicate the hour, as well as chiming once at each quarter hour. If you were in another room and heard the clock chime just once, what would be the longest period of time you would have to wait in order to be certain of the correct time?

3. What occurs once in every minute, twice in every moment, yet never in a thousand years?

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BE MY VALENTINE

Awesome Valentines
http://ecards.marlo.com/holiday/v/vale.htm

Valentine's Day is almost here, so I thought some V-Day trivia would be appropriate.
-Did you know that in the Middle Ages, lovers would sing or recite their valentines? Written valentines did not appear until after the 1400's.
-Cupid means desire in Latin.
-During the Middle Ages, Europeans believed that birds chose their mates each year on February 14.
-If you rearrange the letters of the word rose, you get Eros, the god of love.
-Teachers receive the most Valentine's Day cards.

PICKS FROM MOUSE-CLICKS

The Joy Luck Club
Great sites for families to visit. There's games, screensavers, freebies, animations, more links and chat.
http://www.thejoyluckclub.com/

Printable Love Cards and Coupons
A nice selection of printable cards and coupons to give on Valentine's Day. Post a dedication to your loved one online, browse the love songs and send one to that someone special. Lots of romantic mushy stuff here.
http://www.getromantic.com/cards/printable.shtml

Planet Pals.com
Free stuff for the kids....
Free recycle kit, email stickers, card games, coloring book.
Learn about the earth, the weather, save the planet and more.
http://www.planetpals.com/

PC Insanity.Com
There is some tips and tricks here to boost your PC's performance.
http://www.pcinsanity.com/

MOUSE CLICKS
http://hometown.aol.com/mouseclicks1/list.html

SOME QUICK FUNNIES

A young man comes home and says "Dad, I just got my driver's license, can I use the family car." The father replies, "Okay, son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make certain the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we'll see."

Several months pass and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. "Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I've been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. Can I use the car now?" Father replies, "That's all true, but son you didn't cut your hair." The son responds, "But, dad, Jesus had long hair." The father replies, "Yes, son, you're perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went.

When I was younger I hated going to weddings...it seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.'

They stopped that after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

An elderly couple had a parlor in which they kept a couple of food bins. One of those bins contained apples, and the other bin contained nuts.

They were having quite a bit of trouble with mice, so one evening before going to bed they set a couple of mouse traps, one by the bin of apples and one by the bin of nuts.

During the night they heard a trap snap. The old gentleman got up to see which mouse trap had caught a mouse.

On returning to bed his wife asked, "Well did we catch him by the apples?"

The old gentleman replied, "Nope, try again."

A MAN AND HIS DOG

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there" The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."

~Author Unknown~

INTELLIGENCE

MYTH: Intelligence declines upon reaching the age of 25.
FACT: No, it does not. As a matter of fact, intelligence even increases slightly until we are at least 65.

MYTH: One does not need intelligence to be successful in a career.
FACT: It is people who are intelligent who get to the top in their professions. If you look at these people as a group, they will clearly show that they are more intelligent than others.

MYTH: A high bulging forehead is a sign of superior intelligence.
FACT: There is no basis whatsoever for this popular belief that a person with high and bulging forehead indicates above-average brainpower. A high, bulging forehead means just one thing: a high, bulging forehead!

http://www.myths-facts.com/

GREAT SIGNS

On a ski lift in Taos, NM:
"No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted."

Official sign near door: Door Alarmed.
Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened.

Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus
(translation of the Greek):
"Caution: Road Slippery from Grapejuice"

(MORE OF AN AD THAN A SIGN, but...)
A billboard seen next to the highway, traveling from Johannesburg International Airport into town. An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the roof and all the windows down. The caption reads: "Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!"

Sign in front of church in Montpelier, VT:
Bingo Friday night at 8:00pm
Quickies Thursday at 7:30pm.

Seen in a health food store:
"Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot"

RIDDLES FROM RIDDLENUT.COM - ANSWERS

1. It was daylight.

2. You would have to wait 90 minutes between 12:15 and 1:45. Once you had heard seven single chimes, you would know that the next chime would be two chimes for 2 o'clock.

3. The letter 'M'

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