SAM AND BECKY

Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, "Becky, I was wondering - have you ever cheated on me?"

Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..."

"Three? Well, when were they?" he asked.

"Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Becky, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life. I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me, Darling. I couldn't be more moved.

So, all right then, when was number 3?"

"Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short..?"

(Jokes4U)

Memory

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it made a huge difference for me."

"That's great! What was the name of the clinic?"

Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember.

Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"

(Jokes Plus)

No Excuse Sunday

To make it possible for everyone to attend church on Sunday, we are proposing to have a special 'No Excuse Sunday.'

1. Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say,'Sunday is my only day to sleep in.'

2. They will have steel helmets for those who say, 'The roof will cave in if I ever came to church.'

3. Blankets will be furnished for those who say it is too cold and fans for those who say it is too hot.

4. There will be hearing aids for those who say, 'The pastor speaks too softly,' and cotton for those who say, 'He preaches too loudly.'

5. Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.

6. Some relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sunday.

7. There will be TV dinners for those who can't go to church and cook dinner too.

8. Golf clubs will be available for practice swings for those who like to golf on Sunday.

(JokeADay)

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TRIVIA QUESTION:

Why is one side of aluminum foil shiny, while the other is always dull?

One is tempted to speculate on the cosmic connections of this conundrum. For example, one side of the moon always appears to be bathed in light; the other obscured in darkness. Some people are born with high IQ's, others just plod along. Ying and yang, alpha and omega --nature always seems to be of two minds.

Sheets of aluminum are pressed flat into foil by putting them between heavy rollers, two sheets at a time. The outside surfaces in direct contact with the polished rollers pick up a shine, while the inner surfaces, facing each other, are condemned to permanent dullness. The consolation is that the dull side is the one from which you can lick the icing - not that you would do something so uncouth.

(Mail Bits Trivia)

CARVE YOUR OWN VIRTUAL PUMPKIN!

This is a busy site, so you may have to keep trying, but worth it.

http://www.thepumpkinfarm.com/jack/jackboard.html

(Thanks, Lara)