WELCOME

Well folks, I finally got my Web Design web site up and running. It is still rough, but it it there and it works. I will be working on it a lot over the next few weeks to get it the way I want it, but for now you can visit my site at:

- Lucy :)

- P.S. If you click on the affiliate links on the right I would appreciate it.

- P.P.S. Also wanted to let you know that the weekly computer info newsletters will be going up at my site and some of you may be interested in subscribing. You can take a look at this week's computer newsletter and decide for yourself if you are interested.
This weeks Computer Information Newsletter

CHRISTMAS WITHOUT FRUITCAKE IS LIKE A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION WITHOUT A PRESIDENT -- UNFULFILLING.

• 1. Trivet. Self explanatory.
• 2. Centerpiece. Put on the table center atop a bed of pinecones, holly and evergreen branches.
• 3. Guest Towel Holder. Place two fruitcakes side by side. Insert popsicle sticks to hold your favorite guest towels. Decoupage if you feel up to it.
• 4. Knife Rest. Cut the fruitcake into rectangles and put one at each place at the dinner table. Your guests will marvel at your creativity.
• 5. Place Card Holder. Cut the fruitcake into rectangles and make a small groove in the top to hold your card. Coat with polyurethane so you can use year after year.
• 6. Holiday Door Knocker. Super-glue a hinge to the fruitcake bottom and use removable double stick tape to attach the back of the hinge to your door.
• 7. Votive Candle Holder. Make holes to hold votive candles. Insert candles.
• 8. Punch Hole Ring. Freeze your fruitcake in a block of ice and throw it in your punch bowl for an unusual, yet attractive garnish.

Party411.com

COME CLOSER

The parish priest very furtively calls the mother superior into his office. This is how their conversation went:
"Sister, I want to show you something."
"What is it, Father?
"Come into my private room & close the blinds."
"WHAT?!"
"I said....."
"I heard what you said - I just can't believe you're saying it!"
"Well, I really need you to come in."
Curious, the nun does as she is told.
"Here, sit on the bed beside me."
"I have to get out of here."
"Aren't you the least bit curious?"
Well, the nun was so she sat down beside him.
"Get under the covers."
"WHAT?????!!!!!"
The nun was really freaking out.
"It doesn't work otherwise!"
After much coaxing, the nun does get under the covers with him.
He whispers: "Come closer,"
Nervously, she does get closer.
"See," the priest whispers gleefully, "my new watch does glow in the dark!!!!"

(Thanks, Don)

A POLITICALLY CORRECT HOLIDAY GREETING

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice , but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all; plus... A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.

Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.

I MUST GO SHOPPING

(Thanks, Rick)

WEB SITES WORTH A VISIT

GET YOUR DESKTOP IN THE HOLIDAY MOOD

It's that time of year again when we deck our halls with boughs of holly. Don't forget your computer! Get into the holiday spirit with these fun downloads that put snowflakes, lights, and holiday tunes on your desktop.

http://www.microsoft.com/insider/mi/pfholidown.htm

Welcome to Net 101

Go from Not-Com to Certified Surfer in six short weeks! Gwen Schertel, About.com's Internet for Beginners Guide will take you through a FREE six-week course especially designed for beginning Internet users. Learn how to use email features, find what you seek and comparison shop online.

http://specials.about.com/channels/internet/net101/index.htm

SCRATCH N SNIFF

Thanks to the power of the Internet, and new technology we would like to welcome you to the worlds first scratch and sniff webpage.

http://www.smilebug.com/scratch-sniff.shtml

NEW BREED OF PSYCHOLOGICAL VIRUSES EMERGE

Thu, 07 Dec 2000 07:04:55 GMT
Jane Wakefield

Hey man, the virus told me to do it... honest

Virus writers are turning to psychology to victimise unwitting PC users, according to one antivirus expert Wednesday.

The warning comes as the MTX virus gains momentum. This virus has a particularly sinister element to it as it blocks access to antivirus Web sites, effectively preventing users from seeking help. According to Graham Cluley, technology expert at antivirus firm Sophos, MTX is also a perfect example of the current trend for pyschological viruses.

"It used a number of ways to get people to click on the attachment," he explains. Invitations to view a new Napster site, to look at hardcore porn and one asking "Is Linux good enough?" were deliberately aimed at a wide audience, Cluley says. "It used clever psychology and we are increasingly seeing this in new viruses."

Cluley says people need to remain on the look out for suspect attachments over the Christmas period as many viruses will come disguised as festive gifts such as tunes and screensavers. "Don't lower your guard just because you have had a few too many sherries at the Christmas party," he says.

(ZDNET)

TEENAGERS

For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats:

• 1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
• 2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
• 3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
• 4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile.
• 5. No cat or teenager shares you taste in music.
• 6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
• 7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
• 8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.
• 9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
• 10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior.

Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.

(Thanks, Rick)

QUICKIES

A chicken goes into a library and says, "Bok," so the librarian gives it a book. Ten minutes later the same chicken comes in again and says, "Bok bok." The librarian gives the chicken two books, but being a bit curious, follows the chicken down the road where the chicken meets a frog. The frog says to the chicken, "Redit, redit!"

A little old man was escorted into the witness box. After being sworn in, the lawyer asked him to explain what happened. After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident, he finally got around to the meat of the case.
"...and then she hit me with a maple leaf."
"Surely that couldn't have caused you any serious injury?" said the lawyer.
"Are you kidding?" exclaimed the old man. "It was the leaf from the center of our dining room table."

On their 25th anniversary, a husband took his wife out to dinner. Their teenage daughters said they'd have dessert waiting for them when they returned.

After they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!"

"I suppose," the husband responded, "we could vacuum."