Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.
(Dylan Thomas, "And Death Shall Have No Dominion")

On the frosty autumn morning that Julia Beatrice Hoffman was born, besides her Grandmothers' names, her mother's smile and luminous hazel eyes, and her father's auburn hair and disposition, she received a sterling-silver rattle from her Godmother, a patchwork baby quilt from Cousin Sue, and an antique music box from her father's youngest brother, Steven. The latter came, as all his gifts did, with no card or greeting and wrapped in plain brown paper, and became her most prized possession. It traveled with her through the many moves in her childhood, to college, and then to medical school, and finally to Wyndcliffe where it sat in a place of honor in the curio cabinet in her small living room. Hand carved of cherry wood, richly red, and polished to a soft warm glow, the box was covered with the symbols of love and romance, and lined with faded velvet that once was emerald green. Its tinkling tune accompanied her first dance steps with her imaginary prince, had been the song she hummed softly under her breath on her first nervous plane ride, and had kept her company in those long lonely hours after her mother's death.

Whenever she was lonely, or needed comfort, Julia would run her fingers gently across the carvings, and open the box, and when she closed her eyes she would hear her mother's voice again…

"...Once upon a time..." her mother would always begin, and then she would weave the story of Beauty and the Beast around the box. The oval in the center of the rose was the mirror that Beauty saw the dying beast in making her remember her promise to be ever faithful.  The rose inside the heart was the rose that Beast held waiting for her return, a symbol of new life, and the heart a symbol of their love.  A gazebo on a moonlit night was their trysting place, and a key was for unlocking the mystery of it all.  And then the story would end as it always did.  "And they lived happily ever after...and so will you, my sweet Julia...so will you..."

But fairy tale endings of happily ever after were not for Julia, for she had lost the only man she had ever truly loved, Barnabas Collins. Now the little wooden box sat silent and dusty in the unlit cabinet, unable to comfort her.  As she sat in the silence alone with her memories, she thought of Barnabas and the moments they shared in those last weeks, glad they had them happy and without shadows of the future. 

* * *

Even the weather seemed to know that this was a special night for the three who had returned from 1840 exactly one week to the day.  The winter winds that had blown steadily and bitterly cold for the last three days calmed and warmed, and the clouds disappeared to show the myriad of pinpoint lights shining brightly from the velvet dark of the sky.  The three, their celebration of their success coming to an end, walked from the warmth of the Old House to Eliot's car skirting the patches of ice, laughing and talking about his theories on changing time.

"…And so you see, if you went back in time and killed your grandfather when he was a child, you would indeed exist to do the deed, but the moment you killed him you would cease to exist in any other time. In other words, you would still be alive in your grandfather's time, but if you went home...of course no one would know you..."

Barnabas interrupted Eliot with uncharacteristic abruptness. "Which reminds me... What about the way that I returned? It wasn't until we were here in the present that I remembered that I had gone to the past by I-Ching. I half expected Elizabeth to demand to know who I was."

Eliot laughed as he got into his car, and rolled the window down. "Why wouldn't she know you? You had no ancestors in America at that time.   Since I was the only one with family in Collinsport at that time, and at risk of being changed, it would more likely be me that no one knew." Then he looked a little sheepish. "I didn't want to tell you at the time, but something happened to you while you were...shall I say sleeping. It was come back by stairs or not at all...But everything worked out well. I must say that Willie outdid himself with supper tonight…"  Eliot started his car.  "We should do this again.  Perhaps make it an anniversary. Maybe make a trip back once a year."  Eliot laughed at his own humor and with a wave disappeared down the drive.

As Barnabas and Julia turned for the walk to Collinwood, Julia pulled the collar of her coat up to protect herself from the cold that even as a human being Barnabas didn't seem to feel.  She took his arm, grateful that they had slipped back into the old closeness they shared before the past, and Angelique's death.  Julia felt a sudden chill, but it wasn't from the wind.  There before them on the path was a dark figure, silently approaching them. Something about the way he moved, as though he was more part of the wind than the land, reminded Julia of someone else and  made her  pull at Barnabas' arm to stop him from moving forward.

"What is it Julia?"

"Don't you see him?  We better go back."

It was already too late, for the man came upon them with a speed that confirmed Julia's suspicions. This was a vampire. As his face became visible in the pale moonlight, Julia recognized him and gasped. "Desmond!"

"Good evening Julia, Barnabas. I thought I might find you here. It's been a long time. One hundred and thirty years, almost to the day." The look he leveled at Barnabas was red with hate.

Julia felt a wave of fear, for this creature who seemed to be made of stone and mist was no longer the Desmond they had known. She stepped forward putting herself between Desmond and Barnabas, not seeing the fear cross Barnabas' face, fear for her. "What happened?"

"After you left, days after,  Leticia changed, grew pale and tired.  We were newly married.  I hoped..." For a moment the man that had been Desmond showed through, only to be ruthlessly put aside as the voice grew distant and hard again. "Hope died.  She grew too weak to move from her bed, and yet there were mornings when there were signs that she had walked in her sleep.  She remembered nothing, but her feet were dirty and cut.  Then one night I heard the dogs and remembering Roxanne, waited and followed her into the woods, where she met you, Barnabas. I tried to stop you, but it was too late.   It was as Leticia died at dawn the next morning that your power over her weakened, and she could finally tell me everything.  I made vows to her.  Vows I kept even though it meant my becoming the monster you were."

Barnabas put a hand on Julia's shoulder, moving her back so that he stood before Desmond.  "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry." The laugh shivered through the woods as he motioned to Julia. "I put a stake through my love's unbeating heart, while you lay chained in your coffin safe to be rescued by yours."  Desmond looked at Barnabas with unveiled hate. "You traveled in time before, and you can travel again.  Use whatever other means you will, but you will go back and change the past or I will change your future."

"But, it's not that easy.  You yourself destroyed the staircase!"

Desmond reached past Barnabas toward Julia. As Barnabas' hand tightened on his cane, Desmond turned toward him. "I wouldn't." Then he turned back to Julia. He ran his fingers down her face, tracing the curve of cheek and chin, then ran his fingers down her neck to rest on the pulse beating frantically in her neck. "Over a hundred years to plan this…I found out many things about you Barnabas Collins.  I know your weakness." 

Memories of what Tom had done to her flooded Julia's mind, and she fought the trembling that spread from her stomach to her fingers and toes.  Looking into his pitiless eyes, she knew that whatever had been Desmond was gone, and this vampire was no novice as Tom or even Barnabas had been, using her own memories to frighten her. As her already pale face became bloodless with fear, he dropped his hand with a smirk, and turned toward Barnabas. "You don't have much time." With those words that could only be a warning, he disappeared into a mist.

*

The drawing room was ablaze with the flicker of candlelight from every corner of the room.  Like children, Barnabas and Julia had clutched each other's hands and hurried back to the Old House where they locked the door quickly behind them, leaning against it out of breath, and then lit the candles as though the light could dispel the shadows of their fear as easily as the shadows of the room.  But like the boogieman that that lives in the corners of a closet, or the 'thing' that hides under a child's bed, Desmond could not be kept out if he was determined to get in, and the house didn't feel safe.  

You don't have much time...echoed in Julia's mind, as she held the steaming cup that Barnabas had gotten for her.  She didn't want the coffee, but holding the cup warmed her hands, and blowing across the top, gave her something to do in the silence that had lasted too long.  Barnabas holding his own cup and sipping slowly, pulled his chair over to beside hers, instead of sitting in the seat across from her as was his habit.  

"I could leave here."  Julia finally ventured.  "He only wants to hurt you, and he thinks he can do it through me."

Barnabas looking into his half-empty cup spoke softly, but Julia caught his words.  "He knows he can."

Julia waited for him to say more, but he seemed deep in thought.  As long as Barnabas was here, as long as he cared for anyone, herself, Elizabeth, even Roger when he was being his stuffiest, Barnabas was vulnerable.  "You could leave..."

"There's no where far enough to go."  Barnabas looked around the room.  Signs of their earlier party had been left for Willie to clean up the next morning.  "Eliot."

"You're not thinking of I-Ching?  Barnabas if you become a vampire again...you will stay one."

"Remember what Eliot said...about making another trip?"

"Surely he was joking."

"I'm not sure." 

Barnabas turned toward Julia.  "He's helped us so many times.  I think we can trust him, have to trust him."

After a night of debate and discussion, Barnabas carefully avoiding Desmond's charge of deeper feelings for Julia, they decided that to ask for Eliot's help.  Despite their worries and fears, he took the news of Barnabas' history and the results of their excursion to the past with a grace. Except in his chastisement of them for not trusting him all along, when he might have been of so much more help in curing Barnabas' vampirism, and preventing the events that followed their departure from 1840, there were few signs of his hurt feelings.  After venting them, first shaking his finger in Barnabas' face, "No wonder you thought Elizabeth shouldn't have known you."  Then turning to Julia, "And you should have known that if you let a vampire out, someone was going to have to put him back."  The three of them worked through the day, and the next night trying to recreate the staircase on paper. By the end of the next day, the sound of saws and hammers rang from the Old House as the duplicate of Quentin's staircase rose from the basement floor.  If the workmen were curious why Barnabas would need a staircase built to exacting specification and seeming to go nowhere, the generous amount they were being paid, and the heavy scowl constant on Barnabas' face kept them from asking any questions.  

Julia didn't protest when Barnabas demanded she move to the Old House, seconded by Eliot's opinion. Although they hadn't seen Desmond, more than once they were made aware that he was never far away, waiting to see if they would succeed, or fail.  Late at night, when the workmen finished for the day and Eliot went home, Julia lay awake in her bed, Josette's bed, while he in another room not far away lay awake in the dark in his.  The time was growing short and while Julia wound up her affairs at Wyndcliffe, Barnabas and Eliot busied themselves with the stairs. 

It was only when  Julia once again wore her black and gray dress that she retrieved from the attics, and stood with Barnabas ready to go to the past, that Eliot expressed the doubts they all had.  "Even if these stairs work, there's no guarantee that you'll end up at the right time. They may not be able to take you to the past where they didn't exist." Eliot looked at Barnabas, who shook his head slightly, then looked at Julia. "You don't have to go. We can find where this Desmond rests by day."

Barnabas eyes met Julia's and without saying anything, they seemed to come to an agreement.   "The sun set and the workmen are done.  Desmond's not far, and morning, even if we can find where he rests, could be too late." He reached over and took Julia by the hand.  "We did this to Desmond, and we have the chance to prevent it.  We have to try Eliot."

Eliot looked like he might argue but Julia's chin was lifted, and Barnabas' eyes were dark.  There was nothing he could say to stop these two, and after all they did to save Hallie and the Collins family in the past, he couldn't try. "Good luck."

Barnabas and Julia still holding each other's hands climbed the stairs.

* * *

Desmond sat at Leticia's bedside, her thin cold hand in his, watching her chest rise and fall with her labored breath. The cross that she could barely tolerate just hours before, lay undisturbed against the sores on her neck, for Leticia had ceased clawing at it before she slipped into this uneasy sleep. Desmond pulled the strands of her long flaxen hair away from the chain they had tangled in, and then touched the cross finding it cold, not warm as the glow would imply.  It was only the reflection of the candle as he thought.  In her innocence Flora believed that the glow and Leticia's stillness were signs that the evil warring in her daughter in-law's body was being destroyed by a Godly power, and as much as he could not believe it, hope did not die so easily. Desmond looked at her still face, and swallowed hard.  He had seen death before, and saw it now on Leticia's face.  The knocking, almost a banging, at the door downstairs startled him, but he ignored it.  His mother would answer it, or not, but it had nothing to do with him, or this night. 

Promise me...Desmond...promise me... Leticia's words kept echoing in his ears.  He had not made the promise.  Only Barnabas' death would make anything right again.  But looking down now on her pale features, hearing her breathing grow more shallow, there was no more room for anger and hate.  Not knowing whether she could hear him or not, he gave his word as she asked of him.  "I promise, Leticia.  I give you my word.  Barnabas Collins will live, and you will not rise as a vampire."

Her breathing seemed to ease.  She had heard him.  "I love you, Letty."

"Desmond.  Are we too late?"

Recognizing Julia's voice behind him and feeling hope that she had come, Desmond turned standing up, then his face darkened as he saw her companion.  As Julia hurried to the bed and felt Leticia's neck for a pulse, he ran at Barnabas, with fists in tight balls. "How can you show your face here? You've killed her!"

Barnabas caught unaware was slow to defend himself, and Desmond's fist connected with his cheek, breaking the skin.  As he moved to strike again,  Julia's voice stopped him. "You have your choice. Save Leticia's life, or get your revenge on Barnabas."  She turned to Barnabas rolling up her sleeve, and gesturing to her medical bag. "I need your help.  She needs blood, right away."  

Desmond noticed the cut and the blood on Barnabas' face, and frowning, rubbed his own tender knuckles, and stood back as Barnabas approached the bed and did as Julia bade him. As the blood flowed from her arm to Leticia's, he thought he could see the life of the one giving life to the other. As Leticia's face lost its death pallor, Julia's paled.  

"Will she...live?"

Julia nodded, but it was Barnabas who answered.  'If we can stop him...but we have to find him first.  Our best chance is if he doesn't know that we've interfered with Leticia.  We have tonight, and tomorrow..."   

Desmond glared at Barnabas.  "Then we're wasting time."

*

Dawn was nearly upon them when the pricking at the back of Julia's  neck told her she was being watched.  Grasping the cross she had kept near her all night, she  looked up to find Barnabas in the doorway.  She held her breath, her heart beating hard in her throat.  Which one?  She held out the cross, and Barnabas raised his eyebrows, the action reassuring her that this was her Barnabas.  Looking first at her patient to see if she was asleep, Julia motioned Barnabas out into the hall, and followed him, leaving the door open and Leticia in her view.  "Have you found him?

Barnabas turned and lifted his hand, tracing the curve of her cheek.  "You are so pale. I suppose it's no good telling you that you should be in bed?"

Julia shook her head.  "Flora means well, but I was afraid if he returned, she'd be no match for him."

"Neither will you."  Barnabas dropped his hand. "He will come back here.  In fact, I was hoping that he was here." He was silent a moment.  "I know how he thinks, and what he would do...why can't I find him?"

"What if he did come here?  What if he saw us arrive?  Think, Barnabas.  Where would you go?"

"Don't you think that I've tried that!  I've tried all the places that I've hidden in."

"Then look for one you would hide in where he couldn't find you.  If all your places were unsafe, if you were hiding from yourself, where would you go?"

Barnabas looked through Julia, through time.  If he were in danger, alone without Ben, Willie, Julia, where would he go?  "The caves.  It was one of the few places I was happy in as a child.  I would never take my curse there, and yet..."  Barnabas turned to go, then stopped.  "I've never...When Desmond, in our time, said that..."  Barnabas smiled.  "I just wanted to tell you that I care for you...I..." They were standing close, so their talk would not disturb Leticia, so close that when Barnabas looked into Julia's worried eyes, he instinctively put his arms about her, and pulled her to him.  His lips brushed hers lightly, then he let her go.  "For luck" he whispered.

*

The stones and dead twigs, old leaves from the Autumn long past, crunched under Julia's boot-shod feet as she walked to the mausoleum, standing gray and cold on land set apart for the dead.   She lifted her heavy skirts slightly as she climbed the few stairs, and pulled open the door, resisting and squealing on its rusty hinges.  Certain that Barnabas would be there, she crossed the shadowy room without hesitation and pulled the ring hanging from the lion's mouth.  As she entered the secret room, her eyes met Barnabas', but he quickly turned away.  Standing in the doorway, she took a deep breath.  "Desmond returned and said you were successful."

Barnabas stood facing the coffin, once again in place, and chained as it had been before Julia had released him.  "Yes. I suppose we were."

Julia moved to stand beside him.  She lifted her hand to place it on his arm, then dropped it. Reminding herself that this was the man that hugged and kissed her for luck only a few hours ago, she slipped her hand in his, relaxing when he squeezed her hand and held onto it.

"It was the hardest thing I ever did. I should have died in 1795 and prevented this all.  You cannot know what pain the loneliness of that narrow coffin gave me. It would be kinder to put a stake through his heart."  He looked down on the coffin, running his hand along the chain.  "I can stop it all now, he wouldn't even feel it.."

Julia swallowed hard.  "Barnabas, you've refused to talk of Angelique...do you still feel so bad over her death...do you think your life is so meaningless that you would risk it?  If  Eliot was wrong…"

Barnabas grabbed Julia by the shoulders turning her to him. "You, Julia...You are the one that makes this difficult."  He dropped his arms and turned away from her.  "Only the thought that I could lose you would make me let him, me, endure more than a hundred years as I was.  Only the thought of you makes me let him lie there, and Leticia suffer."  He paused.  "Desmond thinks that it's all over, but you and I know differently." 

"Desmond knows it's not over.  I told him that it might be some time before Leticia is completely free.  He and Leticia talked it over, and only asked that we stay until she is."

Barnabas turned back to her.  "And if she is never free?"

Julia shook her head, for that was a question she couldn't answer.

*

For six nights the dogs howled.  A cross was nailed over Leticia's bed, and although Barnabas scoffed at its usefulness, he helped hang garlic at the windows, after nailing them shut.  During the day, Leticia seemed her old self and although weak, enjoyed Barnabas' visits, often beating him at cards, but as soon as the sun set, she would scream at his presence, so it was left to Desmond and Julia to stand watch at Leticia's bedside all night.  Although the sedatives kept her from becoming violent in an effort to get away, Leticia fought them and sleep, calling for Barnabas, while Barnabas sat outside her window, his gun loaded with silver bullets.   

Julia saw little of Barnabas, and he saw to it that they were never alone.  Each night his face seemed have added lines, and there were circles under his eyes.  Desmond tried for Leticia's sake to civil, but at times he looked at Barnabas with accusation and hate.

The seventh night the woods seemed filled with an eerie silence, broken only by gusts of winds that blew across the chimney, and pressed against the windows and doors, tapping with skeleton fingers of tree-branches unto the panes and moaning to be let in.  All eyes were on Leticia waiting for a sign, but for the first time since the attacks began, she was calm.  "I don't feel him calling."  She smiled at Desmond, and they sat on the bed together whispering, only Barnabas' gun resting near them on the counterpane, showing the calm wasn't trusted.  

Leaving the two alone, Julia and Barnabas went downstairs to the parlor watching out the window side by side.  "It's over?"  

He shook his head.  "I can't believe so."

"But Barnabas..."

"You want it to be so...so it is.  Unscientific of you."  

 Several times he had accused her of this same thing, and it always hurt.  Julia moved closer to the window, peering out. "And I'm always wrong."

His hands were suddenly resting on her shoulders, pulling her back against him, looking at each other, pale reflections in the window.  "And I've always hoped that you were right."  

He leaned his head against hers.  "I don't know what the future will hold, Julia.  He'll never lose his hold on Leticia, but eventually he will lose interest in her.  I just feel it is too soon.  Too soon for a lot of things."

His arms went around her holding her, until they heard steps approaching.

All  night they waited and nothing happened.  Tired, but happy they sat around the dining room table at dawn and celebrated their victory, no one noticing that Barnabas didn't quite seem to share in their joy.  But as one night of rest and silence was followed by another, and yet another, and Leticia seemed to heal in mind and body, even Barnabas began to hope it was over.  As the days became weeks, Barnabas and Julia's short evening walks became long evening walks, often leading them to the gazebo.  Goodnights ending with a glance soon ended with a touch, then a kiss, and the kisses first soft and quick became deeper holding promises that neither had spoken, and neither knew if they could keep.  When a month had passed, Desmond and Leticia made plans for them to leave Collinwood immediately after they would bid Barnabas and Julia a grateful good-bye.  Only one more night in the past, and they would be home again, hopefully never to have to return.

The sun was setting when Julia approached the gazebo.  It was a strange place for trysts.  It seemed hidden, yet there on the raised floor, the brush running all around them, the gazebo actually afforded little privacy at all for those inside of it.  And yet somehow there was a spirit of romance there.  Perhaps the Collins that had built it was the only truly happy one at Collinwood.  Barnabas turned, as though he had heard her footsteps, but that couldn't be possible, he must have been looking for her.

"Julia. I was worried."

Julia laughed, then grew silent as she saw he was serious.  She showed Barnabas the cross around her neck. "I'm armed. Are you still worried that he will get free."

Barnabas smiled. "I don't know.  I only feel that time is short.  Maybe because we are returning, and this time will be over for us."

As Julia came to him, he opened his arms and embraced her, rubbing his face into her hair. "Time.  So many times I've wanted to tell you how I feel.  I waited and then something would happen to pull us apart.  I'm afraid."

He pulled away from her, and handed her a rose that was in his hand.  "A little crushed...I took it from the green house."  

Julia took the rose, and there in its heart lay Barnabas' ring.  She looked into his eyes, finding them soft and deep.  "I would have liked to give you my mother's ring, but...I dare not wait.   Will you marry me?"

Julia smiled, biting her lip to keep it from trembling.  "Yes."

He took the ring from the rose, and taking her left hand slipped it on her ring finger.  Fearing she'd lose the ring, so large and heavy as it slid around her slender finger, she held her fingers together, and Barnabas kissed her fisted hand.  As the sunset turned the blue sky to all shades of red and purple, Barnabas put his arm around Julia and pulled her close. "Your love changed me, Julia. I saw what I was in that monster we chained up. I cannot even think that it was once me." Barnabas held Julia close. "I have searched for love in so many times and it was standing beside me the whole time. I love you." And as the sun disappeared below the horizon, their lips met.  Kissing, whispering, touching, talking, caressing, planning, and kissing some more, they stayed far later then they had expected, and only as the moon shone down so brightly, making it obvious with its movement that time was passing, did they reluctantly leave, and start toward the Old House where Leticia and Desmond would be waiting to see them off.

* * *

Desmond was alone to say his good-bye, Leticia having remained home with a rare headache. After giving Desmond a quick hug, and taking a last look around at 1841, Julia started up the stairway, Barnabas' hand on her back urging her forward. Suddenly his hand was wrenched away, and there stood two of them, twins, fighting. Leticia stood nearby, pale, uncaring, the vampire's servant. Julia should have realized that Leticia would free him someday, but it was too late. A knife was plunged down, and the lower stairs were already disappearing, the two fighting men already lost in the mist. Unable to go down, and afraid to be caught on the stairs, Julia had no choice but to continue her journey upwards. It wasn't the first time that she had to leave without Barnabas, and she clung to the hope that he would not be far behind her. As she stepped from the stairs, they disappeared.

She was still looking for him in the space that had been the stairs when a voice interrupted her thoughts. "Dr. Hoffman?"

Julia turned, startled at David's appearance, and the hesitant way he said her name. "Yes…"

"My Aunt Elizabeth wanted me to invite you to stay for dinner when you are done poking around here. Dr. Woodard wouldn't say yes unless you did." A smile broke on his face. "I used to play here, when no one knew where I was. I know this house from top to bottom. Did you want me to show you around?"

Realizing the implications of Woodard being alive, Julia looked down at her hand.  The ring was gone.  A gray suit and black blouse had replaced her gown.  She knew the outcome of the battle, or at least half of it, the Barnabas of the past had died in 1841.  The Old House was crumbling and dirty , for Barnabas never lived in this time to restore it.  The dress was gone for she had never gone to the past, and Barnabas had never given her a ring.  And yet it did happen.  She remembered it all. 

Julia gratefully accepted David's offer to show her the whole house. She made the most of the tour, shining her candle into any place where she felt Barnabas might have left her a message, and pumping David for information. As she looked through the gloomy, unloved house, she realized that this was how it must have been for Barnabas to find when he first rose from his coffin. She hadn't realized just how hard it must have been to see it this way. Expecting someone you love to come from around the corner, or to be sitting in front of a fireplace, grown cold. She left the house feeling empty and heavy.  Dining with familiar strangers became unbearable, and  as she made the trip to Wyndcliffe, she wondered what else their trip to the past had changed.

*

Hours turned into days, and days into weeks and still Julia heard nothing from Barnabas.  Soon without realizing it she slipped back into the empty routine that her been her life before she had ever heard of Maggie Evans or suspected that vampires really existed. At first in the evenings, she would wind the music box and think of the past, but as winter turned first to wakening spring and then into hot summer, and the hoped for signs that Barnabas was alive never came, she put the box away. As she would have told a patient there was a time to move on with your life.  She tried to put away the past, only to pick up the books and papers and her notes and again look for Barnabas in the Collins family  history.  

The August heat was nearly unbearable, but even without the oppressive heat, sleep still would have been as illusive as it had been in the cold winter and the damp spring. If only she could dream of him, she would have gladly slept her life away, but the only thing she had of him was the occasional mention in the family history, and that is where she searched for him and a way back to him each night.  The clock in her bedroom ticked away the dark hours unnoticed as Julia sat at her desk. The shower she took  earlier in the evening was but a memory as her hair clung to the back of her neck, and her shirt stuck to her curves.  She pushed her chair back, her neck and back aching, and looked at her desk covered with open books and papers and none of it able to help her. Only last week she sought out Eliot -- she couldn't go back to thinking of him as Professor Stokes -- having to introduce herself to him.  He had been interested and willing in helping her to travel back in time by I-Ching, but not without giving her warnings. It couldn't be permanent, and she could do harm by changing history. As if she needed to be told that. No, she could not take Woodard's life to change history back to what she alone remembered, not even to be with Barnabas. She leaned back to rest her dry tired eyes and to decide what to do next, slipping into sleep without even being aware of it. In her dreams she was with Barnabas again.

"Barnabas!" Julia woke up to the sound of thunder and cool breezes blowing through the windows, scattering her papers.  She absentmindedly brushed away the tears on her face something about the dream was teasing her. Just as her mother had told her the story of her music box, the symbols of the box were in her dream. The enchanted rose that the prince held, the moon shining on the gazebo they stood in. Your love has changed me… It hadn't been a dream. It was a memory. She got up and went to the curio cabinet and took out the box. The designs all so familiar to her, but it wasn't the tale of Beauty and her beast, but of herself and Barnabas.  The oval was not a mirror but his ring, the gazebo, their gazebo.  There on the box was the evening that they confessed their love. But how? Julia looked at the clock. Although the hour was late, even by LA standards, she had to know.

"Uncle Steven? I'm sorry to wake you...Then I'm glad I caught you home. Do your remember the music box you sent me when I was born? Yes you sent me...You didn't...Are you sure? Yes, I'll come to see you and Aunt Kate soon..."

Julia took the box with her into the kitchen and took out a razor blade and with shaking fingers gingerly cut away the velvet. She tried not to get her hopes up as she noticed that the bottom was loose. Taking a knife, she pried the bottom up. There next to the mechanical workings of the box was a tightly folded paper, yellow and brittle with age. As Julia tried to open it, bits flaked away in her hands. Taking a deep breath to will away her frustration, she lay the paper on the table, and gently opened it with tweezers and a great deal of patience, piecing the bits together where the folds would not let go. Tears filled her eyes, to be ruthlessly wiped away so she could read the precious letter.

I miss you, more than words can say.  The way your eyes go green when you're angry, and softly brown when you are sad. Your hand on my arm, you standing by my side... I can only believe  that one day I will see your eyes, and feel your touch again.  Love is never lost My Darling, Julia. We will find each other again,

Your loving Barnabas.

Julia left the note on the table, a bit of it floating to the floor from her moving. Tears ran down her cheeks unheeded.  She had to see Barnabas one last time.  Going to her desk she took out a sheet of her stationary, and began a letter.

* * *

Julia could tell immediately by the fishing ships at sea that they had been successful with the I-Ching. Hoping that it wasn't an omen that she arrived in the past on Widow's Hill, she ran to the Old House and opened the door. The drawing room was empty, and Julia called out Barnabas 's name. No answer. Heart pounding she went out the gardens and saw Barnabas standing in the gazebo staring out away from her. When she got close, he seemed to sense that she was nearby and turned. If Julia had had any doubts about Barnabas' feelings, the joy that lit his face when he saw her would have sent them away for ever, and with a swiftness of movement that she always associated with him, he closed the distance between them and took her into his arms.

"I found your note."

"I hoped you would."

Their lips met hungrily.

"How did you get back here? I suppose I should say goodbye to the family at Collinwood, they have become almost as dear to me as the family in our time." He stopped at the stricken look on Julia's face.

"You can't come with me."

"Then you are here to stay!" Barnabas saw the pain in Julia's eyes. "You must be here to stay. Julia?"

"I'm afraid that things are more changed in the future than you can imagine. "

"I don't understand. We were successful weren't we?"

Julia leaned against Barnabas. "Too successful. If there is a way to come here, or to return to our Collinwood, I can't get near enough to find it. They don't know me there, Barnabas. Willie didn't find you in your coffin, and you never kidnapped Maggie...I met Eliot Stokes for the first time a week ago, and talked him into an experiment with I-Ching. I can't even stay here long."

Barnabas sat down on a bench as though he needed the support. "I never thought..." He pulled Julia down into his lap and cuddled her. "How long."

"Minutes...Hours...Time seems so fluid."

"Then we won't waste another minute of it." They kissed again and spoke soft words.  For a time they thought of ways that they could once more be together, for always, but there was no such way.   Barnabas touched Julia's face with gentle fingers, as though memorizing it's every curve and plain. "You gave me my future Julia, I never thought I'd have to spend it without you. Promise me you'll go on with your life."

Julia was silent. "Will you go on with yours? You must, Barnabas. This house deserves to be happy."

Barnabas looked around, and shook his head. "I think I'll go to England. I was happy there in my youth." He looked deeply into Julia's eyes. "If I can be happy without you, it might be there." He took Julia's hands in his and stood. "We are wasting time, already we are grieving as though the last parting has come. He stood up taking her with him, and humming the tune to the music box in a slightly off-key way, they danced together, whispering sweet words as though their lives together were just beginning instead of ending, until Julia saw things around her fading. "Goodbye, my love."

"Barnabas!"

Barnabas' tender smile and warm eyes faded, replaced by Stoke's plump cheeks and excited grin.  "Barnabas? Did you mean Barnabas Collins? I don't mean to pry, but I heard you mention his name.  Was he the purpose in your going to the past?"

Julia shook her head, looking away. "I'll tell you all about it...someday."

Eliot walked her to the door. "Remember you promised to write down everything of your journey."

"I won't forget." Julia wiped the tears from her eyes and stood straight. She was loved and would take that strength away with her.

Eliot walked her to the door. "If ever I can help you again... maybe send you back again..."

Julia stopped in the doorway, but did not turn back. "No. That won't be necessary. We've said goodbye. Thank you, Professor."

* * *

Julia had not promised Barnabas that she would go on with her life, but she knew there was no other choice. There were no other messages from Barnabas, not in the box, or among her things, or in the papers she had searched through. At least the ties to Collinwood had been broken for her so there was no one to pity her. She made one last trip to Collinwood, to take back the books and move on in her life, finding out from Elizabeth, Mrs. Stoddard, the information she had looked for so hard at the beginning of her search. After the death of his beloved wife, Barnabas Collins remained at Collinwood for a several years, then moved to back to England. So he did go to England. I wonder if he was happy? I hope he was.

Several weeks later Julia received a letter…

* * *

Julia looked at the clock. He would be here soon. She took out the music box and wound it. She had intended on giving it to Barnabas' descendant, but decided she couldn't since it was the only thing she had to remember Barnabas by. The music was tinkling softly in the background when the waited for knock sounded on the door, and with her heart in her mouth she opened her door, and then froze. The man looked so much like Barnabas. As she studied him, she realized that this man was older, his hair a bit grayer than Barnabas' had been, and Barnabas had never worn his hair so loose, or clothes so comfortable.

He put out his hand.  "You must be the Dr. Hoffman.  I'm Barnbas Collins. A cousin of Mrs. Stoddard's from England."

Julia searched his face. There was no recognition in the eyes so familiar to her. Julia swallowed hard. Being without Barnabas had been hard, but faced with a look-alike descendant was painful. She looked at him with sad eyes, almost disguised with a polite smile, and reached to shake his outreached hand. "Yes, I’m Dr. Hoffman."  

Barnabas took her hand then pulled her into his arms. "I had meant to tease you, but I have waited so long." Their lips met and the kiss turned to fire in their blood.

"How?"

"Did you think anything could keep us apart my love?" Barnabas laughed. "I hounded poor Desmond until he took my part and made Quentin rebuild his stairs. A one way trip, for Desmond stood ready with the ax as I climbed them. It took several years to come back to you, but I never gave up hope." He heard the music and crossed to the box and smiled. "Nor did you?"

He wound the music box and put it down on the shelf, and took Julia in his arms. The music played again and again until it wound down and was finally silent, but the two locked in each other's arms didn't notice…at all!

Never the End