| But of course... More quotes |
| Peter: Lois, you've got a sick mind! Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love. Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money. |
| Lois: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome any obstacle. Peter: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones. Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team! Brian: What the hell are you talking about? |
| Peter: Don't worry your mother, kids... When she worries she says things like 'I told you so,' and 'Stop doing that, I'm asleep'. |
| Peter: [writing letter] Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip, and a drinking straw. Please save my dog. |
| Brian: Peter, did you read the fine print on this loan contract? Peter: Um... If by "read" you mean imagined a naked lady, then, yes. |
| Peter: You know that whole Vietnam thing? Never happened. Brian: Oh yeah, but don't mention it around the Veterans Hospital. Those guys are really committed to the lie. |
| Lois: Peter, what did you promise me? Peter: That I wouldn't drink at the stag party. Lois: And what did you do? Peter: Drank at the stag pa-- ... Whoa. I almost walked into that one. |
| Death: You can't tell anyone that I'm here. For if you do, the consequences could be dire. Peter: Go on... Death: That's it. Peter: Go on... [to Lois] Death: God, what do you see in him? |
| Peter: I had such a crush on her. Until I met you Lois. You're my silver medal. |
| Lois: I'm upset because you never listen to me. This is Atlantic City all over again. [Lois and Peter at Blackjack table] Dealer: You've got 20! Peter: Hit me. Lois: Peter, don't! Peter: Hit me. Dealer: 21! Peter: Hit me. Lois: Peter... Peter: Hit me. Dealer: That's 30 Peter: Hit me. |
| [watching Cricket on British TV] Peter: What the hell is he talking about? Englishman: Oh, it's Cricket. Marvelous game, really. You see, the bowler hurls the ball toward the batter who tries to play away a fine leg. He endeavors to score by dashing between the creases, provided the wicket keeper hasn't whipped his bails off, of course. Peter: Anybody get that? Cleveland: The only British idiom I know is that "fag" means "cigarette." Peter: Well, someone tell this "cigarette" to shut up. |
| Head Scout: You've got three days to earn a badge. Peter: Three days! That's tomorrow! We gotta get going! |