I will stop breathing before I ever hurt you
Do you remember the night you said those words to me?
You said you had never loved anyone the way you love me
And you would stop breathing before you ever hurt me
We had just made love
I was laying against your chest
You asked why I was crying
When you felt my tears drop
At first I couldnt answer
I didnt know why I was crying
Did I hurt you?
You asked, concerned that you hadnt been gentle enough
No, I attempted to assure you
It wasnt physical pain I was feeling
What I was feeling was emotional
So emotional
I was scared
Terrified actually
I had never loved anyone the way I loved you
And I was afraid that I was just a game to you
I was afraid that you finally got what you wanted
So you no longer had a need for me
I finally got the courage to say those words
You paused and told me to look at you
When I couldnt
You took my face in your hands and said
I will stop breathing before I ever hurt you
I believed you
In that moment if you told me the sun was purple
I would have believed you
We made love again
And again
Again
Till we couldnt anymore
Then we slept
The sleep only lovers sleep
Sated
Content
In love
Now
Nine months later
As I lay in this hospital room
Alone
With only your childs breathing to be heard
I wonder
Are you still breathing?
Shawntasy
copyright 2001
