"Come along Katherine dear, we're going to be late"
I
sat next to the stereo letting the beat dance through my mind. I felt
a hand on my shoulder.
"Come on honey, we don't want to be late for Swetha Swapna's
performance.
"I
anxiously stood up, not believing what I was going to do tonight. The
house was a mass of confusion. There were bodies everywhere, a
strained look on my mother's face as she called my brothers and
sisters. Finally we were all grouped together in one room. Mom
examined us all to ensure we were clean and tidy. Satisfied she
pointed to the door and we all streamed out.
I
have two brothers and two sisters. I'm the youngest of them all�I'm
nineteen. Going to this "entertainment night" at our school was
becoming a family tradition ever since my brother's Varma and Vamsy
entered secondary and played his drums for the school. My whole family
had entered at some point in their high school career. This year
Swetha Swapna would be playing piano.
I
walked into the cool night thinking about my plan and thinking about
what people's reactions would be. I thought about how no one's ever
asked me if I was interested in entering in "entertainment night" one
year. People just assumed that I wouldn't. It was almost like they
forgot me; or maybe there were just trying to protect me. I find it
hard to be the youngest. There is a lot to live up to.
My
parents bought me a violin three years ago. I spend hours hidden away
in my room practicing. To others it probably sounds horrible when I
Practice, but I'm just excited to be making music. My parents never
listen to me play or practice. I used to play for them when I was
younger but they haven't heard me in a long time. That would soon
change.
Quickly jumping into the back seat of the car. I casually glanced into
the trunk. It was still there! Covered by a blanket. My palms began to
sweat as I thought about what I was about to do.
I
had been planning it for a long time. Tonight I would finally play.
Not letting my parents, or anyone else know, I signed up to play my
violin. Tonight I would finally be noticed.
We
pulled out of the driveway. Everyone was cheerfully chattering around
me. I turned and looked outside at the dark sky. I started into the
millions of stars; pole star and tried to connect them with invisible
lines, making patterns in my head. The moon became the center of my
web. It was like a destination that the lines would never meet up
with. I wondered if anything ever met up with this destination. I got
lost in my thoughts and was startled when a hand was waved in my face.
"Halo... we're here!"
I
snapped back into reality and gout out of the van, carefully leaving
the back door unlocked I absentmindedly followed my family into the
space central school auditorium. We sat down in the plush chairs.
Swetha Swapna left us to get prepared backstage, and that was when it
hit me. What I was doing? How was I going to get away from my parents?
What if I totally messed up? I wish I could just forget the whole
thing and just relax... but I couldn't. The lights dimmed and a
teacher walked on stage to give an opening speech. It was hard for me
to see her.
The
night dragged slowly on. Students performed, hands clapped, people
cheered. Swetha Swapna did wonderful, mom looked so proud. Then the
time came. My performance was after 2 more people. I whispered to mom,
"I
have to go to the bathroom." and then left
I
walked casually out of the auditorium and quickly rushed outside in
the direction of the car. Oh, no! What if the door was locked? I began
to walk faster. I reached the car, lifted the handle and... yes. It
was open. I grabbed my violin and hurried inside.
The
act two places before me was just ending. I saw an empty chair beside
the girl performing after me. I sat down. She looked nervous but
smiled politely. I wiped my hands on my pants as I waited for the
person on stage to finish. I thought about my song, letting the
pattern of the notes fill my mind. My stomach felt tense and I could
feel my heart pounding in my chest. I opened the case of my violin and
made sure everything was in place.
The
cool wood was comforting and I held it close as I tried to forget
about the crowd behind the curtain. The black curtains suddenly made
me feel extremely closed in. I felt a little faint. Suddenly my heart
leaped as the performer ahead of me exited the stage. I stood up,
steadied my legs and walked to the curtain, I could tell my name and
had been called because I was receiving several nods from the
supporters backstage.
I
took a deep breath, parted the curtain, and stepped into the light of
the stage. The audience was a big blur as I focused on what to do
next. I set up my music on a stand in the middle of the stage. My
hands were shaking and a wave of panic rose inside me. My fears were
pushed aside though, as I lay my violin in place.
I
focused on the music ahead of me and just let my hands do their work.
Each note vibrated through my entire body. The feeling of fright was
replaced with something else. A glowing feeling � an immense feeling
of pride and accomplishment.
As
my song came to a close I took it strong right to the last note. I
held this last note a little longer. As if expressing a sigh of
relief. Happiness flooded through me. Silence came and then the stage
began to vibrate as the audience clapped.
Tears stung my eyes, as everyone began to stand up and clap. I could
see people cheering out loud. I felt like I had wings.
Somehow in the mass of people I spotted my mom. Tears were streaming
down her cheeks as she clapped. That night, as I stood looking out at
all these people, I knew I had reached my destination, my own moon.
Thought no one believed it would be possible for me to create such a
profound voice.
For
no one in that theater thought that such a beautiful music could be
created by someone that was deaf.
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