Echoes of the Past

“Finished.” He breathed, “Hmm, what a beauty.” He sat down in the large leather chair and looked around in pleasure. With gentle fingers he moved his hand across the control panels situated around his chair. He closed his eyes, satisfied, but what he saw was not what he expected.

“No! I don’t want to die. What? What am I seeing?”

He stumbled blindly out of the cockpit, eyes open but not seeing a thing. His foot touched thin air and he plummeted, screaming, down the length of the mobile suit. The last thing he saw before he reached the cold, stone floor were children, crying tears of blood.

AC 196. After the war…

Catherine Bloom peered out from behind the dressing room curtain. It sure was packed tonight. She could see the children’s eyes alight with pleasure as they watched the clowns’ performance. She turned round.

“Trowa?” she said. Squinting in the dim light she could see the eerie glow of his mask.

There was no reply.

Walking over she realised it was just the costume.

Trowa, where are you? She thought. Were on in about five minutes.

There was no sign of him.

Where could he be? Was he in trouble? No. He was a Gundam Pilot after all. But we’re right next to a Mobile Suit base…

Shaking the thoughts out of her head, Catherine went to see if she could find a replacement for her knife-throwing act.

As she stepped out into the backstage area the ground shook beneath her feet. Catherine heard the explosion echo through the tent.

Trowa! She thought, but then as the frightened screams came from the ring her heart quickened. The children!

Without a second thought she ran out into the cold night air. The lights had gone out but she could see the horrifying scene before her all too clearly.

All around the Mobile Suit base fires were springing up. The sound of gunfire and screams wailed out into the night as within the flames the huge suits fought.

Catherine watched, too shocked to move as the suits came closer and closer. Behind her men, women, children and animals poured out of the tent.

They’ll never get them all out in time. She though in horror. So many people, they’re all going to die.

The sky thundered as Mobile Suit carriers dropped even more soldiers on the once forgotten base. They rained out of the sky like a thousand tears of death. The ground trembled with every step they took and Catherine looked around to see that the audience was still piling out of the tent.

Trowa, where are you? She though as the sick feeling began to rise in her stomach. Was he in there? Was that why there were so many Mobile Suits?

“Trowa!” she yelled as she ran towards the base.

She didn’t dare to look up as she ran through the battling Mobile Suits. The ground seemed to move beneath her feet and it took all her concentration just to keep her balance and run towards the cold, dark building before her.

It was dark and eerily quiet inside. Catherine could still hear the battle taking place outside, but it was muffled by the thick walls of the base. There was not a soul in the building. Catherine began to worry.

What if he’s not here? Why did I even come her? Damn it why do I care so much about him?

The seemingly never-ending corridor opened up into a large hanger. Cautiously the young circus performer stepped in. Every step she made echoed like thunder around the room. It was completely empty, save one Mobile Suit at the very far end. Catherine looked up in surprise; she had never seen a suit that looked like this one before. It looked like a Roman centurion, tall and proud, much bigger than the Gundams but strangely similar. She was on a long, thin bridge that ran the length of the hanger and when she reached the end of it, Catherine realised she was on level with the great suits cockpit.

She stared into the open cockpit.

Could I save the children in this?

Slowly, cautiously, she sat down in the large, leather seat and ran her fingers gently over the system’s controls. The cockpit sprang to life, illuminating her with a strange, yellow glow.

“I shouldn’t do this.” She said out loud and closed her eyes, but as she did she thought she could see the circus tent, alight with flames and the dying screams of the children, trapped.

She snapped open her eyes in terror, but she could still see the suits fighting.

“What’s happening to me?” she yelled and without even realising it she lifted the huge beam cannon to the suits shoulder and turned around to blast off the head of a suit behind her. She was too scared to realise that she shouldn’t have even seen it was there.

^^^

“What’s going on?” yelled Quatre over the noise of the battle. “Trowa? Trowa, are you alright?”

“The circus tent, Quatre, it’s been completely destroyed.” His voice was emotionless.

“Catherine?” asked Quatre quietly then raising his voice he cried, “Trowa! Trowa, what’s that suit?”

“The Tallgeese!”

“No! I thought it was destroyed!”

Sandrock and Heavyarms descended into the flames of the battle. Back to back they fought off the suits at the base. Heat seeking missiles flew from the red and orange suit while Quatre sliced his opponents down the middle.

“Tallgeese. Tallgeese please respond.” He called

“Stop fighting or I’ll kill you all.” The voice was desperate and all too familiar.

“Catherine?!” yelled Trowa, his legendary self control crumbling as he heard his sister’s voice, “What are you doing?”

“They’ve all gone crazy!” she cried

Quatre and Trowa both stalled. Long ago memories they that wished to forget suddenly flared up in their minds, making them both feel utterly sick.

“No.” said Quatre weakly, “Not the ZERO…”

The enemy took advantage of the momentary shock of their opponents and within seconds had both Gundams surrounded. Quatre spun his blades but the other suits were in perfect positions.

“Trowa?” he called out uncertainly

“Don’t give up Quatre.” came his friend’s quiet reply. Trowa covered up his emotion well. Glancing over he saw that the Tallgeese was also surrounded, but the enemy was treating it with caution. The ZERO system and an untrained pilot were very dangerous.

“Catherine!” he called, “Get out of there! I thought you said fighting was wrong.” His voice shook only slightly, but Quatre noticed it.

“Catherine.” He called out gently. He could almost see what was going to happen. It was going to be just like that day after he had built the Wing Zero. Someone was going to loose a close friend.

“It’s all my fault.” He choked, fighting down the feeling of extreme nausea. He couldn’t give up. Not now. His friends needed him.

“Catherine.” Trowa’s voice was more emotional than he had ever heard it before. He remembered that day too.

The sky lit up with flames, and out of the smoke came an unexpected extra to the battlefield.

“Wufei!”

“This is a breach in the peace!” he yelled, “Drop all your weapons immediately.”

Catherine’s voice sounded calm but cold over the radio.

“I want to protect my family.”

“What?” Wufei’s voice sounded surprised. He looked up to see the Tallgeese. “They repaired it.”

“This is a fight for justice!” she screamed, and pulling out the beam sword hacked off the heads of two Mobile Suits. The suits began to move closer to the Tallgeese, surrounding it and gradually overpowering it. It may have had the ZERO system but it’s pilot was inexperienced.

“NO!” cried Wufei, startling both Trowa and Quatre. “No. Not again! I won’t let this happen again!”

The Altron extended both its arms and spun in a circle of flame, destroying all the Mobile Suits surrounding it. In the confusion, Quatre and Trowa made their way to the Tallgeese and in a barrage from the Heavyarm’s machine cannons and Sandrock’s vulcans the enemy drew back.

The thin white blade screamed from the top of the suit’s head down to the cold muddy ground below and Sandrock stepped back, the last of the enemy defeated. Quatre looked round. It had taken both the Heavyarms and the Altron to hold the Tallgeese still, but it was Wufei who jumped out of his cockpit to help Catherine.

What does he want with my sister? Thought Trowa as he slid down his suit to aid the Chinese pilot.

The cockpit hatch hissed open and the girl fell out into Trowa’s arms.

“Stupid woman.” Said Wufei as the Heavyarms pilot held his sister.

“Her eyes.” He whispered, “They were dead.”

Quatre joined them on the Tallgeese’s hatch.

“She’ll be alright, won’t she?” He queried. Trowa looked up at his friend with troubled eyes.

“I hope so.” He said.

^^^

The room was quiet and dark. Trowa sat on the bed with his knees pulled up under his chin and his arms wrapped tightly around his legs. There was a knock at the door. He didn’t hear it.

Slowly Quatre pushed open the bedroom door and looked in.

“Trowa?”

He stepped lightly across the wooden floor to where his friend sat. Trowa was hunched up as small as he could make himself as if by doing so he could make himself disappear. In the dim light the blonde could see that his friend was shaking.

“Oh, Trowa.” He said and moved the rest of the way to put his arms around the taller pilot. “Trowa she’s going to be okay.”

Slowly he raised his head.

“Quatre?” his vice was barely audible

His green eyes shone with unshed tears and his skin was pale in the darkness.

“She’s going to be okay, Trowa, she just needs to rest.”

Trowa sat there, shaking, and lowered his head again.

“Trowa?” Quatre didn’t know what to do, “She’ll be okay.” He repeated, “She’ll be okay.”

He’d never seen Trowa like this. So caring and full of emotion. It scared him to think that Trowa’s mask could just crumble like this, and he was trying so hard not to cry, but at the same time Quatre was glad that his friend could show his emotions.

His eyes, they had been so deep. It those few seconds he had looked up, Quatre had seen what a thousand words could not express in a lifetime. Trowa was upset, worried and that other emotion, the one that engulfed them all. Fear.

Trowa was scared. He could see the fear and he understood it. It was the same fear that was reflected in his own blue eyes. The fear of loosing someone special, of loosing control, of ZERO.

The memory they both had tried so hard to forget, that they had pushed down deep inside themselves and hidden with anger and a face devoid of feeling. It snaked up like a dragon from the depths of their hearts to coil around their souls and bind them with fear.

They could see the beam of energy, crackling silently in the cold vacuum of space. The blue suit that cut off the light. The other one, the one that shook under its pilot’s unbelieving hands. They saw each other move away. Forever. It felt like forever. And then it was over. Two people separated by the cold mechanic hand of a machine. One that couldn’t remember. And one that could never forget.

“Trowa, it’s not going to happen.” He said, his own voice breaking slightly, “I won’t let it happen again, I won’t.”

^^^

It was the way she moaned. Almost silently, but in the quiet of the tent it was the only sound. It sounded like the wind through the trees on a dark night, and outside, under the stars, the lions gave and answering call.

Wufei stood and looked at the sleeping girl, the girl who had uncovered so many memories and feelings. Memories he thought he had buried long ago. She was in pain. She was fighting in her dreams. He wanted to wake her up, to stop that pain. Why won’t she open her eyes?

--

“Open your eyes. Nataku!”

--

It’s just the same? Why is it all happening again?

Wufei’s mind whirled.

All through the war, every time he fought, he never let her leave his mind. Her spirit lived on in his Gundam and she had given him the strength to carry on.

Everything I did, I did for you. I fought for your justice, for your honour. I helped bring peace to the Earth and outer space and I did it for you, Nataku. You believed in me, and I loved you.

You sacrificed yourself to save the people you cared about -- in the Tallgeese.

--

"Thank you… Wufei… my good friend..."

--

And Treize

--

“I want to protect my family.”

--

And now you. He looked at Catherine.

“What were you trying to do.” He said

“The children.” It was quiet. He almost didn’t hear it. She turned over in her sleep. “Protect them. Don’t let them die.”

Wufei looked away. It was that suit. Was it destined to destroy everyone who piloted it?

Last time I saw you, you were happy and free from all the horrors of war. Just living a normal life.

Why do I even care? I only met you once.

A small voice nagged inside his brain. She’s just the same isn’t she? A strong heart and a strong sense of justice.

No. They’re nothing like each other.

You’ve proved yourself to be worthy of her. You brought peace to the Earth and space for her. Now you’re free to live up to your own sense of justice and honour.

But did I only save her because she reminded me of Meiran?

Perhaps. That’s up to you to decide.

^^^

They sat in silence around the small kitchen table half-heartedly eating bread and soup.

Catherine always made soup.

They all had their heads down and their eyes fixed on their spoons, mechanically eating, mouthful by mouthful. When they had finished they all sat there, not talking, not thinking, just staring.

Trowa stood up slowly and collected the bowls. Quatre rose as if to help him and then walked out of the room.

“Huh?”

Trowa didn’t seem to notice.

“Wufei?”

The dark eyed pilot looked up.

“I need to ask you something.”

A slight incline of the head was the only acknowledgement he gave.

“Why did you save my sister?”

Silence.

“Did you meet again after that time I brought you back here?” His voice was soft and calm, but it seemed to be coloured by an emotion that was never there during the war

Silence.

“Please Wufei.” He pleaded gently.

He looked at Trowa.

“No.”

“But what you said, when we were fighting. ‘No. Not again.’”

Silence. Then --

“It’s all the same.”

“Huh?” Trowa looked up in surprise at his friend’s first volunteered comment. A comment that mirrored his own thoughts exactly.

“Meiran died in the Tallgeese… so did Treize.”

Meiran?

“My wife, my friend, and now her.”

Wife?! “Catherine’s not going to die.” Said Trowa

Wufei looked up as if just realising he was in the room. There were tears in his dark, stormy eyes.

“Why do I never realise how much people mean to me until they’re gone?”

“Cathy’s not…”

“People that shouldn’t be stained by the blood of war.”

Trowa organised his thoughts. There was so much about Wufei he didn’t understand. So much vulnerability underneath that hard shell.

Just like the rest of us, he thought.

“Wufei, that suit had the ZERO system installed.”

“What? Do you know who rebuilt it?”

“No. But I intend to find out.” His voice was calm but Wufei sensed that he meant it.

He’ll do that, at least, for his sister.

“It’s just like the Wing Zero, it keeps coming back, bringing with it sorrow and memories we thought we had thrown away.”

^^^

The sky swirled in shades of blood and war. Beneath her feet the death black grass sprang into flames of red and orange. Flames that curled around her waist and pulled her down to her knees, screaming silently into the darkness. The fire raged through the night, growing and swirling into the sky. She could see the children crying in the fire, burning away. Their small bodies twisting in agony as their skin boiled and their hearts died.

A Mobile Suit, orange like the flames, but as it walked it brought the icy blue of peace. It opened its powerful chest and sent a barrage of bullets into the fire. Like drops of rain they fell. The tears of the dead.

The ground moved beneath her feet, shaking her and swallowing her. She could see the white suit with the blue armour and the Roman plume. She could see herself inside, still dressed in her circus outfit, but no one cheered as she threw blades at the enemy.

He was standing before her. His bright green trousers matching the single eye that showed from beneath his fringe. He looked up at her in the suit.

He’s not afraid to die.

And she threw the knife. It hit him in the chest and he melted into the night.

“Trowa. Trowa. What have I done.”

The tears poured down her cheeks. They were tears of blood.

Trowa stood before her. One half of his face smiling, the other lost within a mask of its own. Slowly he raised his head and put his hand up to the angel white mask.

Catherine screamed as he removed it, to show skin dripping with blood, a scar across his right eye and a shot wound in the head.

“You tried to protect me.

But I’m still a soldier.”

^^^

“It was a project?!”

“Apparently. Some war enthusiast rebuilt it for his collection.” Trowa’s calm voice portrayed none of his feelings towards the monster who had done this to them.

“A collection?! Doesn’t he realise what that suit did?” Wufei’s face clearly showed his anger.

“But ZERO…” Quatre’s face was almost as white as Catherine’s was. He looked much older and his eyes were dull beneath his fringe. He was, perhaps the least successful at hiding his emotions.

“Quatre?” Trowa’s voice was still calm but if anyone had seen his eyes at that moment they would have told a completely different story. Conflicting emotions rippled across his face for just a second.

“What about all the Mobile Dolls?” Wufei’s sharp voice broke his chain of thought.

“They were his too. History.”

“History!” spat Wufei, “History should be left in the past.”

They were sat on tall wooden stools around Catherine’s bed. Wufei and Trowa were on either side while Quatre sat with his head down at her feet. Trowa was wiping her head with a damp cloth and telling his companions what he had learned. Wufei watched as the girl responded to her brother’s gentle touch. She stopped moaning and fell into a deeper sleep, but her eyelids fluttered and her mouth opened in a silent scream. He suddenly felt the need to comfort this girl.

Why?

He reached over and took her pale hand in his and she moved slightly to where he sat.

“The man…” Quatre’s voice was weak and forced, but he needed to know. Trowa didn’t answer for a while and Wufei saw a string of emotions pass across his usually well masked face. He turned to look back at Catherine who now held onto his hand with a strong grip.

Quatre hadn’t moved.

“He was found dead. He must have fallen from the cockpit.” He left the rest unsaid – the system drove him mad.

“Justice.” Said Wufei simply; “To be killed by the monster you made.”

There was a crash as Quatre’s stool fell back onto the wooden floor. He ran out of the room.

Monster. I made it. I killed him…

^^^

The sky was a deep shade of purple and the stars shone down like a thousand eyes, watching. Quatre looked out over the dark fields and the ruined circus tent towards the military base and the Tallgeese, with the ZERO system. He closed his eyes tightly to stop the tears that threatened to engulf him the moment he let his guard down. The sound of quiet footsteps behind him made him open his eyes, but he didn’t turn round.

“Quatre?” the soft voice was unmistakably Trowa’s.

The Heavyarms pilot sat down next to him and followed his gaze up to the base.

“It’s all my fault Trowa. If I hadn’t found the blueprint for the Wing Zero…”

Trowa looked over at the blonde.

“Quatre, you didn’t know.”

“I should have been more careful, I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, Quatre, you weren’t, but it wasn’t your fault.”

“But how can you ever forgive me for what I did to you… and Catherine.” His voice shook slightly.

Trowa put his hand on Quatre’s shoulder.

“Quatre, you know I forgive you. It wasn’t your fault.”

The Arabian looked up into Trowa’s deep, green eyes. They were kind and soft, but he could still see the fear.

“You… lost your memory.”

His eyes flashed with something deep inside, something that the pilot was trying to keep hidden.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Quatre.” the voice was hesitant, as if its owner were not sure what he was about to say was right.

“Quatre, I did lose my memory… but more importantly… I lost you.”

“Trowa?” his emerald eyes shone with tears.

“You can’t imagine what it’s like not being able to remember anything. I was so scared, I didn’t know where I was or who I was. I felt so alone.” His whole body started to shake. He was trying to stop himself from crying.

They were tears he had held inside him for so long.

I’ve never cried, thought Trowa. I didn’t think I could.

Locked up deep within his chest, he had held them there. He had covered up his feelings with a mask of indifference and lived the cold, hard life of a soldier.

My whole life that’s all I’ve been, that’s all I could be. I’ve never had a real friend. I’ve never had someone who I could talk to. Until now.

The tears began to fall. It felt strange to be like this, but right.

Will Quatre think I’m weak?

His whole body shook with the effort to stop crying, but the tears flowed, unstoppable, through the broken dam of his heart.

“Trowa.”

Quatre looked down at the Heavyarms pilot. He was so open, so scared. He was showing all the things that Quatre was afraid to show, the feelings that he was afraid would engulf him. But Trowa was the same, and he wasn’t afraid any more.

Cautiously he put his hands around his friend’s shoulders, seeking the comfort of another body. Trowa buried his head in the Arabian’s chest and they held each other. The tears fell like rain from both their eyes. The tears they had held back for so long, and they let them flow.

“Quatre, when you came to the circus I knew I knew you, but I couldn’t remember who you were. I knew you were important, but I couldn’t remember. I couldn’t remember.”

His whole body shook now and he buried his head deeper into Quatre’s shirt.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t remember.”

“Trowa.” The Sandrock pilot was crying just as hard now and he rested his head on the other’s shoulder.

“Trowa, that wasn’t your fault.” They clung onto each other as if they were the only things that mattered in the world. “Trowa, when you came in that shuttle…”

“But I couldn’t remember… I was so scared… I couldn’t remember…”

“But you came…”

The shuttle was white, like an angel. It glided through the debris of suits Sandrock had destroyed, heading straight towards him. He had known who was in that shuttle even before he heard Trowa’s voice and seen those emerald eyes so full of determination and the need to help. Emerald eyes like sunlight through the trees. He must have remembered something… But why him? Duo had been to see him. Why hadn’t he remembered anything then? Duo had told him that Trowa had seemed like a child, curled up in his sister’s arms. An innocent child who couldn’t remember anything. So what was it about him, Quatre Raberba Winner, that made Trowa remember something?

--

“Are you rally planning to go out and fight again?”

“I have a faint memory of someone once telling me that the only way for anyone to live a good life is to act on their emotions.”

--

Trowa closed his eyes tightly. Act on my emotions…

“Quatre… I love you.”

The blonde pilot froze.

“W - what?” he rasped

“I – I’m sorry… I had to tell you.” Trowa started to shake even more. Instinctively Quatre pulled him closer.

What did he say?

Ohh, thought Trowa. What have I just done? He’ll hate me. He won’t go near me. What have I done?

“I’m sorry.” He repeated, not knowing what to say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“What did you…?” Quatre’s voice was soft but surprised.

“Don’t hate me, Quatre, please.” He’d never seen Trowa so vulnerable.

He just opened himself up to me. He really trusts me. Was that why…? What did he say?

Quatre closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe.

Why does this feel so right?

He put his hands on Trowa’s shoulders and pushed him up. Trowa gasped and looked into Quatre’s sea-blue eyes. Eyes as deep as the ocean. He could drown in those eyes. Quatre was crying too.

“Trowa, how could I ever hate you?” his eyes were soft and full of the kindness that he had grown to respect so much, and love.

No, how could this angel hate anyone.

“Trowa, you mean more to me than anything.”

“Quatre?”

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone… I guess… I was scared of my own feelings.”

It was too much for him to take and Trowa fell forwards, wrapping his arms around Quatre’s shoulders. The Arabian returned his strong embrace and they sat there for what seemed like forever. Content in each other’s arms just to cry those tears of joy and relief. Tears that washed all the last of their sorrow away.

^^^

He was on his own in the room. Catherine still held his hand tightly but she had started to moan again. Tears coursed down her cheeks as she opened and closed her mouth. She couldn’t speak, but Wufei could see clearly the words she mouthed.

Help me

Help me

^^^

They closed in around her. Soldiers in all colours, bleeding, screaming.

“Peace.” They chorused, “We only wanted peace.”

She backed up, stepping into a pool of mud and slipping over. She was stuck. The mud sucked at her sides and pulled her down. The soldiers were gone but the mud pulled her further and further into its depths.

“Help me. Help me.” She cried. The tears continued to fall.

Then out of the clouds a figure appeared. And angel with jet-black hair and dragon’s wings.

He flew down out of the sky bringing with him the light.

As he neared her, Catherine could make out his features. Where had she seen him before?

He’ll help, she knew.

He hovered around her, wiping the tears from her cheeks with a strong but gentle hand.

His eyes were soft, but as black as the night.

Like two jewels.

She reached up her hand towards him.

He took it in his and pulled her up.

Out of the mud…

Out of the darkness…

Out of the cold…

Out of the dream…

^^^

Her skin is so soft, he thought.

Slowly she opened her eyes and Wufei drew his hand away from her cheek. But she still held onto his other one and Catherine pulled herself up. She pulled Wufei up into a tight embrace and began to cry.

“Thank you… my angel.”

^^^

Quatre held tightly onto Trowa’s slim body. He could feel both their hearts beating in union. It felt good to be close to someone like this. They sat on the dark field in silence, content just to be together.

Why? Why hadn’t he realised before? Had he been too scared to admit to himself just how he felt about the emerald-eyed pilot? Had he been scared it was wrong? Had he been scared of rejection? Because if Trowa hated him, then how could he live?

When did I first feel this way? He thought back over the year that he had known Trowa.

The first time we met I knew we shouldn’t be fighting… and it sounded so right when we played together. We kept meeting, again and again. But I think it was when you weren’t there when I realised how much you really meant to me, and the strength and determination you showed even though you were hurt so badly.

But I think it was in Libra, when you rescued me, when you put you strong arm around my waist and I knew that you really cared. But I was scared… how could I deny how I felt? I loved you then… and I love you now, when you show me how you really feel.

You’re so kind, Quatre, and so gentle. I was so afraid I would hurt you. I keep forgetting how strong you really are. It was you who gave me the strength to carry on, I knew I had to live, I had to prove myself to you and I had to have another chance to tell you how I really felt.

But it was never right. And I was so scared that you would hate me.

This is right… I know… this is how it really should be.

“I want to stay like this forever.” Murmured Quatre.

“Stay with me, always.” Said Trowa

“But Catherine…?”

Trowa smiled.

“Cathy’s like a sister to me, a good friend. Quatre, you’re my life.”

He looked up, his aqua eyes shining in the starlight. He hadn’t ever felt so happy, so wanted.

“Trowa, I love you.”

Trowa was looking back down at him. The mask had crumbled to show the wearers real face. A face that was more beautiful to Quatre than life itself. They lost themselves in each other’s eyes, unconsciously drawing closer and closer. Quatre could feel the other pilot’s breath on his face, fingers that moved slowly up his back making him shiver. He moved his own hands around Trowa’s neck.

And then their lips touched.

They held onto each other, pulling each other closer and closer until their arms ached. They wanted to be closer. So much closer. They wanted to melt into each other’s bodies and join forever.

They kissed. Deeply and passionately.

Forever.

Be mine, forever.

^^^

“You’re a Gundam Pilot aren’t you?”

Wufei was startled by her abrupt question. She had held onto him in silence for what seemed like an age. Silently. Just needing the comfort of another person. A person that wouldn’t melt into the darkness and disappear.

Wufei felt slightly uncomfortable; he had never really been this close to anyone.

Apart from Meiran.

And this girl was here. And she needed him.

Angel? I am no angel.

“Yes.” He said, “We’ve met before.”

She continued to hold onto him.

“Wufei. Chang Wufei. The quiet one.”

She remembers my name.

Catherine finally pulled away and smiled at his slightly reddened cheeks. Her face then changed in an instant.

“What did I do?” she said, remembering, “What happened?”

“That suit had the ZERO system installed… it controls the pilot’s mind.”

Catherine looked at him in horror. Who would make such a thing?

“How… how many people did I…” she couldn’t bring herself to say the word.

“You,” said Wufei, “didn’t kill anybody. In fact you probably save the civilian’s lives.”

Catherine looked up, surprised, and Wufei found himself wondering why reassuring her made him feel better.

“The other suits were Mobile Dolls and when the Tallgeese came out they started attacking you and not each other. They moved away from the circus long enough for it to be evacuated.”

“So no one died?” she asked, her eyes full of hope.

Wufei sighed. “One girl is missing… presumed dead.”

Catherine looked down at her lap.

“I thought this war was supposed to be over.”

The cold, night air snaked into the tent. Catherine wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and looked up to see Trowa and Quatre walk in.

“Trowa.”

He walked over to the bed, smiling.

“Huh?” she half frowned at this uncharacteristic show of emotion. But before she could say anything he came over and pulled her into his arms.

“I’m so glad you’re alright, Cathy.”

“Trowa, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Trowa grinned even more.

“Trowa, is that really you.” Even Wufei was wearing an extremely puzzled look on his face.

“I’ve just heard too many apologies today.” Said Trowa.

Quatre was smiling too and Wufei wondered at their sudden change of mood.

Then Quatre turned to him, solemn expression returning to his face.

“Do you think it’s possible that those dolls had the ZERO system installed too?”

Wufei looked up, “They wouldn’t…?”

“I thought all weapons were destroyed after the war… apart from the Gundams.” Catherine looked at her brother.

“Yeah, but someone repaired them.”

Quatre sat down on the end of the bed.

“There’s nothing we can do now,” he said, “this is over, we just have to make sure nothing like this happens again.”

But if it hadn’t happened… thought Trowa. He looked up and met Quatre’s ocean-blue eyes.

Wufei looked over at Catherine. A slight smile was playing with the corners of her mouth.

What am I missing? He thought.

^^^

Wow, thought Quatre. My first date.

He was grinning madly now as he walked across the dark field towards Trowa’s tent. His heart was jumping madly in his chest and it was all he could do to put one foot in front of the other.

It’s not like I haven’t had dinner with Trowa before. He thought rationally, but a small part of his brain kept jumping up to add an opinion of its own.

Alone.

By candlelight.

With champagne.

The result was a very nervous, however grinning even more, Quatre that stood in the open doorway to Trowa’s tent clutching a very expensive bottle of champagne that he had been out earlier to buy.

Trowa just stared at him as he put it down on the table.

“Well we never got to celebrate properly after the war, seeing as I was in hospital an all.”

Trowa continued to stare.

“You – you look wonderful.”

Quatre looked down at the suit he was wearing. It was a beautiful shade of blue that made his eyes look like two jewels bought to wear with it, a black bow tie and of course the trademark waistcoat.

“I feel a little underdressed.” Said Trowa, who was still wearing his usual green tank–top and jeans.

Quatre flushed a deep shade of pink.

“Um – I can go and change if you…”

The rest was cut off by a kiss.

Quatre looked up at the one who embraced him with strong but gentle arms. Trowa smiled down at him. Hmm, Trowa smiling. Trowa smiling at him. Quatre returned the kiss.

“I really do love you.”

Quatre was happy. Those blue-jewelled eyes that so often filled with tears were smiling, showing him the very core of their owner’s soul. And he was the one who had made them shine with joy.

The meal was finished and the champagne bottle half empty. The small candle had burned down to a tiny stump and flickered, on the edge of going out. The room was dark and peaceful.

Quatre closed his eyes and nestled further into Trowa’s chest. It was the early hours of the morning and he was slightly cold, but at that moment he wouldn’t have moved if the whole world had collapsed.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited to hold you like this?” Trowa’s voice was thick with emotion. Quatre looked up, deep into his emerald-green eyes.

“I wanted so badly to be near you, but every time I was it drove me crazy.”

Quatre buried his head into the taller pilot’s neck.

“Sometimes,” he said, “in the night when it was so cold, I was more lonely than you could imagine. I longed for a warm body besides mine, someone I could love and who would love me back. You were always the first one I thought of.”

“When we first met, Quatre, do you remember?”

“Of course. When you stepped out of Heavyarms, with your hands up… I remember thinking you were just like me. When I met you, I was no longer alone.”

Trowa hugged the blonde pilot closer to him.

“Do you remember the duet we played?” his voice shook slightly. Quatre looked up.

“Yes. After you’d gone, I kept trying to play it on my violin… but it always sounded so sad without you.”

“Do you think we could play it again?”

“Trowa. You’re crying.” The tears slid slowly from his eyes, shining like stars in the candlelight. Quatre traced the trail up his cheek with his finger.

“You know Quatre, I don’t think I’d ever cried before two days ago.”

Quatre looked up.

His face is so beautiful in the candlelight. So pale and fragile, like a dolls.

“I don’t want you to be sad, my dearest Trowa.”

He smiled “I’m not.”

^^^

“Maybe you could ask Catherine.” Quatre’s grin was infectious.

Trowa laughed.

“But you know what he thinks of women.”

“He didn’t seem to mind too much when she hugged him.”

“Quatre, did you see his face?!”

They were both laughing now.

“Oh, Wufei would have told her if he really didn’t like it.” Quatre turned round form the lion he had been feeding. “Seriously though, I really think he needs someone to talk to.”

“Yeah. I think you’re right Quatre. I’ll talk to Cathy.”

^^^

It’s funny, thought Wufei. The stars all look so similar, and yet they are all so far away from each other. I wonder if the stars get lonely.

The far eastern sky was beginning to glow with the greyness of morning.

I’ve been awake all night again. But how can I sleep if whenever I close my eyes all I can see are flowers. Fields of endless flowers.

Flowers just like the ones Meiran had wanted to protect. The flowers that had cost her her life.

Slowly he pushed himself up from the damp grass and started to walk towards his tent.

I should go. I don’t even know why I’m staying here anyway.

A small voice snaked its way out of a far away part of his mind. A part of his mind he didn’t realise he had. A part that said

What’s wrong with wanting to stay here, with your friends.

Friends? Do I really consider them my friends?

A bright light was shining in his face and Wufei realised it was coming from the door of his room. He had fallen asleep.

A figure moved to block the sun and poked its head inside the dark room.

“Wufei. Are you alright?”

It was that woman.

“You’ve been asleep all morning. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Wufei’s usual response would have perhaps been a grunt, or a curt “Leave me alone.” Especially to an enquiry made by a woman.

He closed his eyes. He had dreamed something while he was asleep.

What was it?

It hadn’t been pleasant, but what had it been?

“Um. Yeah.”

“Are you sure? You don’t look too well.”

Catherine stepped across the room and sat down on the bed. She put her hand on his forehead.

“Oh. You’re so cold.”

Yeah. I spent the whole night outside, he thought as he pulled away.

“What’s the matter? I don’t bite.” Catherine grinned

What is the matter? Wufei thought suddenly. I want her to be here, don’t I? Why didn’t I tell her to go away?

He felt something warm being placed in his hands and he looked down at the large bowl of soup. Wufei realised how hungry he was.

“Thank you.” He said

Hmm, thought Catherine. Those words don’t seem so strange on his lips after all.

Wufei put the empty bowl on the small table besides his bed and looked up. That woman was still there, sat on the edge of the bed, just looking at him. Trowa’s “sister” huh? They had an uncanny resemblance for adopted brother and sister.

Catherine broke the science.

“You look much better now.” She commented.

Why won’t she leave?

“Do you think you might be ill?”

“Huh?”

She was looking at him with her bright, violet eyes.

“Well you did look pretty awful when I came in. The boys were worried about you.”

Quatre and Trowa?

“I just didn’t sleep well.” He looked down at his lap. Was she never going to leave?

“Hm. Trowa says I stick my nose into other people’s business too much, but I just like to help people.”

“Huh?” Wufei looked up. She was smiling gently.

“I’m not going to leave until you tell me what’s up.”

Wufei stared at her.

“Well you can stay there then, woman. I’m going to brush my teeth.”

He made to get up but Catherine put her hand on his shoulder.

“Wufei.”

He glared at her but she held his stare. He stood for a while then with a sigh sat down on the bed.

“Why won’t you just leave me alone?”

“I really only want to help.”

“You’re so stubborn.” Just like…

“That’s my speciality.” She grinned at him and he stared at his lap.

“You’re really not going to tell me are you?”

“You know you could have been killed in that thing.”

She looked up at him.

“Why does that matter to you, Wufei?”

He looked he squarely in the face

“Because my wife died and my friend died in that suit.”

Catherine looked at him in surprise. “You were married?”

“She died fighting to save our colony… I never even told her I loved her…”

“Wufei…” Catherine felt like taking the Chinese pilot in her arms but she realised that he would probably not appreciate that much.

“And Treize… I killed Treize in that suit… he was protecting the Earth.”

“Wufei you know better than most people what it means to be prepared to die for what you believe in.”

“I believe in justice.” He said sharply, “And good people dying is not justice. What is peace worth if the only people left are the cowards who were afraid to fight?”

“Wufei… is that really what you think?

Slowly he raised his head to look at her. His eyes shone. Those dark black orbs held a raging storm within them.

“Shall I go, Wufei?” I know it would hurt your pride if I saw you cry.

“…no…” came the quiet reply. Catherine looked down at him.

I am sick of being alone.

A single tear rolled down his cheek, Catherine came over and sat down next to him. She hesitated for a moment but then reached over to pull him close to her. He moved his head to the crook of her neck and let her hold him.

“Oh Wufei,” she sighed, as if reading his thoughts, “you don’t have to be alone.”

He moved his head slightly.

“But I’ve always been alone.”

“Then,” she said sadly, “you don’t realise how much people care for you.”

People really care?… she did stay with me… and I guess I do feel better…

She rubbed his back lightly, as if he were one of the lions she looked after, and he closed his eyes.

It feels really good… to be close to someone like this…

Slowly he pushed himself up.

“Catherine… thank you…”

That’s the first time he’s called me by my name…

“You’ve done so much for me… it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t do something in return…”

She smiled. “There’s nothing I want. Besides I don’t do this to get some sort of reward… I’ll be happy if you are.”

She really cares.

“It wouldn’t be right.” He repeated, not knowing what else to say.

He heard her laugh.

“Then do this for me…”

He looked up. Right into her bright, violet eyes. Wufei gasped as he felt her lips touch his. He didn’t move. Gently she pulled him closer to her and let her tongue venture slowly into his mouth. She then pulled back.

Wufei just looked at her.

“That was…”

Half expecting some insult or rejection she sat back, but Wufei surprised her for the second time by gently taking her in his arms and smiling down warmly at her before giving her the same treatment he had just received.

Suddenly he pulled back.

“No.” he said, “I can’t do this. It’s not right”

He got up and half ran from the room. One word lingered in the air reaching the girl’s ears…

“Meiran.”

^^^

The sun was beginning to set when she finally found him. He was sat behind the ruins of the old circus tent, eyes fixed on the faded crescent moon that hung above them in the amber sky.

“Wufei?”

He didn’t turn round.

“Wufei. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No.” his voice was quiet, “It’s my fault… because of Nataku.”

Catherine looked down at him, “You know… even if that was the reason, I don’t regret it.”

He looked up at her. Had he been crying?

“You don’t?”

“No.”

Wufei was silent. He looked up at the bright stars beginning to appear in the now violet sky.

“Every time I fought I thought of her. I did it all to carry out her justice.”

Catherine sat down next to him on the damp grass.

“She couldn’t ask for anyone to love her more.”

Wufei looked round.

“But I never even told her…”

She took hold of his hand.

“Wufei, she knows. She knows everything you’ve done for her.”

He turned back to the stars.

“Do you think she up there… watching me?” he sounded so unsure of himself, so vulnerable. Not the proud warrior he made himself out to be.

“If you believe so.” She answered.

He looked at Catherine.

“Why do you remind me of her?” he said.

She looked back.

“You don’t look the same. Your voices are different. Not even when I look in your eyes…”

Suddenly he smiled. His eyes lit up as if the sun had just risen to start a new day.

Without warning he began to laugh.

I know what it is… I’m such a fool…

His shoulders shook and Catherine looked on in completes surprise as he beamed up at her.

You don’t remind me of her… you just … you just remind me of the way I felt…

Catherine thought that the Chinese pilot could not surprise her any more, but he did, one more time.

Like a panther, strong and swift, he leapt across the short space between them, pushing her back and pinning her to the floor.

Catherine could feel his weight on top of her and she looked up into two shining, black stars.

“Wufei?”

“I’ve been such a fool.”

He grinned down at her and then bent lower to kiss her on the lips.

“You know I really do like you, Catherine Bloom.”

She stared up at him for a few moments unable to assemble her thoughts. He was so intense, so kind and caring under that mask he painted for himself. Sometimes he was so unsure.

“You are such a puzzle, Chang Wufei. But I guess that’s what I find so attractive.”

She looked lovingly up into his obsidian black eyes. Once a violent storm had raged within, now she saw hope, peace and happiness.

^^^

It was a bright summer’s afternoon and four figures could be seen standing and talking around the lion cages of the ruined circus.

“I contacted Miss Noin, she thinks now that all the suits have been destroyed there’s nothing to worry about.”

Trowa frowned, “But if he managed to keep that many suits isn’t it a possibility other people have them too?”

“But that’s what the Preventers are for. Sorting out things like this.”

“I think we did just fine without them.” Scowled Wufei.

“We can’t do much now.” Commented Catherine, “The circus can’t run until we get another tent seeing as that was the second one destroyed by Mobile Suits…” she cast an amused look at her brother, but he seemed not to notice.

“So what do you suggest we do, Cathy?” he asked innocently

She looked at him straight in the eye.

“I suggest, that tonight we go on a double date.”

Wufei stared.

Quatre and Trowa had turned a very interesting shade of pink.

Behind them the lions rumbled their quiet growls of amusement…

Catherine smiled…

From the dark depths of the past rise the shining rays of the future…