Title: Dedication Pt. 1

Author: Jeno

Author Email: jeno@staticinstereo.zzn.com

Category:  Romance

Rating: G

Summary: During his first night in Rivendell, Merry has a hard time sleeping.

Characters: Merry Pippin

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: If anyone is offended by this, I'm sorry.....blah blah

Feedback: Definately!! The more praise the better!!

Story Notes: Yeah, I took a couple of liberties....please dont sue me....I'm poor.

                It was his first night in Rivendell, the first chance in weeks he could relax and let himself sleep without worry,

but Merry Brandybuck could not even close his eyes. He sat on the floor, his heavy lidded eyes fixed on the door in front of him while his hand stroked the hilt of his short sword. This was a strange place, and although Strider had assured him that therewas no place safer, he could not drop his guard. Merry did not enjoy strange places, especially when he was separated from anyone familiar. Frodo was under the care of Elrond, with Sam by his side, and Pippen...well...he had no idea where Pippen was, he hadn't seen him for hours.

                *I didnt even let him out of my sight until we got to the dinner table, what made anyone think I'd want a separate

room?* Merry thought scornfully, cursing the tall elf that had led Pippin, barely awake, away from the table, and away from

him for an entire night. He had expected to see Pippin curled up in his bed when he returned to his own room an hour later,

but found it empty much to his disappointment. It was impossible to sleep without knowing where Pippin was, and that he was alright in this strange place, even back in the safe, familiar Shire he preferred knowing where his younger cousin was, and that he was safe and happy. In reality, calling himself overprotective of Pippin would have been a understatement, but Merry only admitted to being *concerned* about Pippins whereabouts and safety.

                *No one would understand if I told them anyway,* Merry felt his heart sink as he recalled the spring of his sixteenth year. The river had flooded, and Merry and his friends, followed closely, to their annoyance, by a stubborn seven year old Pippin, were daring each other to climb on a tree branch stretching over the churning water. Merry, disappointed that none of the older boys would accept his dare, decided to present it to the tiny Pippin, who was only too happy to get a chance to prove himself to the big boys. Merry had honestly never expected Pippin to accept the dare, or to actually manage to climb the branch...and he certainly had never expected the branch to break. He still remembered hearing the wood snap, and his own screams as Pippin was sucked underneath the angry river. It was less than an hour later, though it seemed like days, when Saradoc Brandybuck, Merry's father, came walking up the riverbanks with an unconcious Pippin in his arms who was badly bruised and cut with a broken leg, but alive. Later that night, it was those same hands that saved Pippins life that gave Merry the beating of his, although that was not the worst of his punishment. The memories of watching Pippin fall into the water and the agony of waiting to find out if he was alive or not haunted Merry still, the guilt that he had almost dared the most important person in his life to his death refused to leave his mind. The least Pippin deserved would be his protection, and if his friendship and his heart went with that, then Merry would give it to him. It wasnt long after the accident that spending time with Pippin became a pleasure rather than a chore, but the need to protect him never left. He loved Pippin, he needed to have him around for his own sake as much as Pippins...maybe more sometimes. Shaking off his thoughts and picking up his sword, Merry yawned and began to walk slowly around the room, studying the beauty of his surroundings while his heart beated heavily with worry.

                *I should sit down at least, maybe try to get a bit of rest,* Merry thought to himself while walking back towards the

large, lonely bed, the past guilt aching in his heart. *I'll see Pippin in the morning I suppose, until then I'm no good to anyone this exhausted.* Placing his sword on the small table beside his pillow, Merry lowered himself onto the bed only to spring back onto his feet. He snatched up his sword, listening carefully to the sound of laboured breathing outside of his door. Silently, he slipped towards the door, his weapon held high in his right hand while his left jerked the door open.

                "Who goes there?" His voice growled, bringing the sword in front of him. "Speak!"

                "It's only me Merry!" A familiar voice cried out. "Stop!" A small figure stood shaking at the point of Merry's sword,

gasping and out of breath.

                "What are you doing sneaking around Pippin?" Merry threw back his sword and welcomed his trembling cousin into his

arms, closing his eyes as he embraced him. "You sounded like some sort of horrible creature breathing like that. Whats wrong?" Merry pulled Pippin out of the embrace and looked into his large, moist eyes. The gaze only lasted a few seconds before Pippin burst into a fresh round of tears and fell back into Merry's arms. Closing the door with one hand, Merry wrapped his other tightly around Pippins shoulders and guided him to the bed to sit down. Merry took Pippin tightly in his arms, patiently waiting until Pippin had calmed down enough to breathe.

                "I dont...I cant..." Pippin gasped.

                "Shhh. Calm down, just breathe Pip," Merry stroked Pippens back gently, rocking him like a babe in arms. "I'm sorry I

scared you, I didnt expect you to be prowling around my door." Merry smiled as he felt Pippin laugh through his tears,

breaking his panic.

                "I didnt mean to scare you either, I'm sorry," Pippin's eyes shone with unspilled tears as he broke the embrace and

met them with Merrys. "I'm really sorry Merry."

                "Dont worry about it, no harm done," Merry leaned closer and squeezed Pippins shoulder lightly, his eyes burning with concern. "Now, what sent you here in tears? Do you have news about Frodo?"

                "No, nothing about Frodo..." Pippin stammered, looking down at his hands, suddenly feeling very foolish. "It's

nothing at all actually, I should go, sorry I bothered you." Standing up to leave, Pippin was quite shocked when he felt

Merry's hands grab his waist tightly and pull him back hard onto the bed.

                "I dont believe that you came here this upset for no reason Peregrin Took," Merry grasped Pippins head firmly with

both hands, forcing Pippin to look into his eyes. "What's wrong?"

                "Promise you wont laugh?" Pippin whispered, his eyes refilling with tears.

                "Yes I promise, now just tell me!"

                "Well, after all this business we've been through, what with the ringwraiths and Frodo and..." Pippin drew a shaky

breath and closed his eyes. "I'm afraid...I can't sleep alone."

                "Thats all?" Merry laughed. "Thats hardly worth tears much less hysterics."

                "Thats NOT all!" Pippin said indignantly, pulling his face out of Merry's hands. "I'm worried about Frodo, and I want

to go home...and I had a terrible dream...and I just dont want this anymore! I want to go home Merry!" Collapsing face first

onto the soft woven blanket at the foot of Merry's bed, Pippin began to sob.

                "Now....now Pippin, I wasnt making fun of you," Merry crawled beside his cousins shaking body and pulled him away

from the blanket onto his own body. Pippin gave little struggle as his red, tear-stained face was pushed against Merry's

neck, and his weak arms wrapped around the older hobbit's body with great ease. "Its alright to be afraid Pippin, this isnt

easy, and I'd be lying if I said that I wasnt a bit scared either. But we're not alone, we have each other, no matter what,

we still have each other, you'll always have me to run to when you need me." Merry closed his eyes and lightly kissed Pippins temple, pulling him closer against his body.

                "I can stay with you tonight then?" Pippin whispered, nuzzling his face deeper into the crevice between Merry's neck

and collarbone, warmth enveloping his entire body.

                "Of course," Merry sighed, rubbing his cheek against the soft curls on Pippens head. "But lets turn around so the

pillows have our heads rather than our feet." Slowly, almost unwilling to break the embrace, both hobbits rose from the foot

of the bed. Merry picked his sword off of the floor and placed it in the corner with his cloak while Pippin slid underneath

the warm blankets and rested his head against the pillow and sighed. Hearing the small, sweet noise behind him, Merry turned,

watching as Pippin snuggled into his bed, his beautiful eyes closing as exhaustion began to pull at his eyelids.

                *God Pippin, you're a sight...* Merry thought, easing himself into the bed beside him, stroking his soft, unruly hair, fighting the urge to kiss it again. *If you only knew...* Breaking from his reverie, Merry realized that Pippin was already fast asleep. Smiling, Merry gathered Pippin in his arms, holding him as tight as he could without hurting him, and surrendered to slumber himself.