Title: The Goodbye
Author: TickTack
Pairing: Frodo/Sam
Rating: Not a clue
Summary: The day after... Need I say more? :)
Feedback: YES PLEASE! (do I sound desperate??) :)
Archive: Sure :)
Disclaimer:These two guys belongs entirely to Mr. Tolkien! I only borrow them from time to time and play with them in my dirty little mind. :P
Author's notes:
Once again I wish to thank Pythoness who ran my skribbling through her spelling-wonder-machine
and came up with the final version of the text. And off course, thanks to all
of you who enjoyed my first story and encouraged me to continue what I've started!
:)
The Goodbye.
In a silent bedroom
two figures lay in a big old bed, peace in both their faces. As the sun found
it's way through the window
one of the shapes stirred and opened his eyes. Sam welcomed the day with a deep
yawn, smiling as he thought about the dream he had last night. He and Mr. Frodo?Suddenly
he became aware of the fact that he wasn't in his room.
*Where am I?!*
he thought and lifted his head to look around. The warmth of another body made
him look down, and there,
resting his head on Sam's chest lay Frodo. Sam almost jumped out of the
bed in his surprise.
*Bless me!*
he thought, *That's why the dream was so lifelike!* With a shivering hand he
ran his fingers trough Frodo's dark
curls, afraid it all was just a dream still. But the image didn't disappear
into a blur and Frodo's heavy breathing sounded
like music in Sam's ears.
*Now, don't you
start whining Sam Gamgee!* Sam said to himself as he struggled with the
emotions that welled through him like a river in early spring. Still, a big
tear found it's way from under Sam's eyelid and ran silently down his cheek
and neck,
followed by new, warm tears.
*What are
you sobbing about, imbecile, this is what you've wanted the most of your life!*
Sam urgently tried to stop the
flood of tears with the back of his hand., but as soon as he saw the sleeping
figure resting on his chest again the tears
returned with renewed power.
Suddenly Frodo
stirred and opened his eyes as if he'd been disturbed in his sleep, but the
feeling of Sam's body close to
him soon calmed him down and his body relaxed.
"Good morning, my Sam!" Frodo lifted his head and kissed Sam's neck, eyes closed. "But Sam, are you crying? You taste salt," Frodo said and lifted his gaze.
"I'm so sorry Mr. Frodo! I always seem to ruin the moment," Sam answered and once more dried his eyes. "I don't know why I'm weeping, I guess it's because my heart is so happy it has to get rid of some of the happiness."
Frodo looked at
Sam, heart trembling, and kissed his cheeks. "I love you, Sam,"
he said. "I wish we could stay this way
forever!"
Sam closed his
eyes for a moment. "I think that is partly why I'm crying, Sir," he
said, and his eyes went sad. "We both want this so much, and still
we both know it is impossible." Outside they both heard the singing of
bird's praise the new day and the
distant sound of couples laughing in the daylight after spending the night under
the stars. "We will never have what they have,"
Sam sighed and looked at Frodo with eyes dark with sadness. "Never
will we feel the joy of laughing together in the
sunlight."
Frodo shook his head. "What do you mean?" he said. "We laugh if the sunlight all the time!"
"But not
like that," Sam said. "Not like lovers." He pulled Frodo closer
as if he tried to shut out the world around him.
"We're doomed to sneak around, hiding."
"I know,
Sam," Frodo answered and felt like crying himself. "I wish there was
a way to change the world. Do you think there is
a word for two like us?"
"Yes there is," Sam said, quietly, tightening his embrace; "Soulmates."
They both went
quiet for a while, lying in each others arms preparing for what had to come.
*I wish I could stay in your
embrace forever, Sam Gamgee!* Frodo thought and couldn't hold back the tears
any more. He didn't know if he was capable of denying his feelings anymore now
that he knew Sam felt the same way about him. But he had to. There was to great
a risk. Frodo didn't bother much about his own reputation,--he was a Baggins
so people wouldn't expect more from him--but Sam? They should not have the pleasure
to drag Sam down in the mud with him!
"Sam," he finally said, filled with unbearable sadness. "We both know what have to come now"
Sam slowly sat
up, face calm but heartbroken. "Yes," he said. "The goodbye."
He stood up from the bed and fumbled after his
clothes, back bent as if he was a very old man. Frodo watched him, not moving,
feeling that his body was to heavy to carry.
"No, Sam. This is not goodbye," He said, voice shivering.
"Then what is it," Sam looked at him with dark eyes while buttoning his shirt.
"I don't know what it is," Frodo answered. "But my heart tells me that this is not the end. You said it your self, we're Soulmates."
And with Frodo's words to soothe the pain in his heart Sam kissed his master goodbye with tender lips. "I think so too," he said and ran his hand gently over Frodo's cheek before he turned around and left, eyes almost closed.
Frodo lay silent
and let him go, believing this was the best for them both, and hoping the staggering
pain in his heart would
shrink with time. If only they were somewhere else! But they both had lived
in Hobbiton all of their life and knew little of
the world outside it's borders other than what Bilbo had told them. And
Frodo didn't have the heart to tear Sam away from the
Shire he loved and adored so much. His roots grew deep into the soil of this
country, and here he belonged.
*And here we will
stay, * Frodo thought as he pulled the blanket over a face wet with tears and
shut the daylight out of his
heart.