I am no longer accepting additions for this list.
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By Kali Gargoyle
Raphael: Yes Leonardo, you are absolutely right.
Michaelangelo: I'm just not in the mood for pizza.
Leonardo: Yes Raphael, you are absolutely right.
Donatello: I just can't figure this out.
Splinter: Don't worry about being seen, it doesn't matter.
April O'Neil: It's okay guys, really, I'll just stay here.
Shredder: Can't we all just get along?
Bebop: I do believe that those shelled terrapins have defeated us yet again.
Rocksteady: I think you're right. Perhaps we should invite them to tea.
***
By Jephael
Michaelangelo: "I'm actually in the mood for a simple cheese pizza, hold all that weird junk I normally like to put on it."
April: "I wonder what it would be like if I married one of the turtles."
Raphael: "That Vernon is such a funny guy!"
Vernon: "Those turtles are such funny guys!"
Shredder: "Why am I always wearing these ridiculous blades? It's a wonder I haven't cut myself in my sleep!"
Bebop/Rocksteady: "Duh, we should really give up already."
Krang: "I should really ask Shredder if he'd like some curtains in his room."
***
By Miss Mab
Michaelangelo: I am telling you Don, the quantum dynamics of the turbulator would cause a 4.895% disturbance in the positronic membrane.
April: I better not follow the turtles this time, I have to do the report on the botanical gardens that I was assinged to do.
Tricertons: Our new agenda is to bring peace and harmony through the universe through oragami and songs.
Zak the Neutrino: I'm selling my ride and going to join the military.
Splinter: It is time to make our debut to the outside world...via world tour and commercial sponsers!
Pimiko: I love you Raphael.
Raphael: I love you Pimiko.
Leonardo: I love you Raphael. (gets smacked upside the head for making the joke wear on too long)
Donatello: Bah...technology is taking over the world. We should all move to the mountains and live amongst the land to acheive true enlightenment.
***
By HorseTurtle
Raph: *starts sobbing at the end of Titanic* No Jack, please don't be dead!
Mike: Nah... you guys just go to the party without me, this documentary on PBS is really good!
Don: Fine, then I'll just take my attitude and leave!
Leo: Dude, where's my master?
Shredder: Dude, where is your master?
Leo: But Dude, where is my master?!
Splinter: Slinky, slinky, lookit the amazing slinky! (while playing with a colorful slinky toy)
April O'Neil: Oh for the love of pete, can't you guys not have a fight with the people I'm doing a report with?
Tatsu: Master Shredder, I presume it would be a better strategy to take an internal route through the apartment complex in order to catch the mutants off guard.
Rat King: I wanna go to Disney World and meet the Mouse!
***
By Tymere
Raphael: **watching Gladiator or Saving Private Ryan** Oh the horror! People are so violent. Why don't we watch Dawson's Creek instead?
Donatello: Gah, I can't figure out how to program the VCR!
Leonardo: Here Raphael, you lead this time.
Michealangelo: You guys go watch Dirty Dancing, I'm training with Splinter! *happy smile*
Splinter: Minnie Mouse is a hottie!
***
By Ria Angelo
Leo: Oh, it’s good enough.
Raph: Rescuing damsels in distress is too dangerous. Let’s talk about our feelings.
Mike: Splinter: My Master Yoshi’s first rule was: possess the remote!
Mirage Publishing: We’re putting a monthly book out on time.
***
Added 07-13-03!
***
By ninjaturtlegal
Shredder: Yoshi, I’m going to stop trying to destroy you and your turtles.
Don: How do you turn on the computer again?
Mike: Pizza!?! Again!! Whats wrong with you people!!! I’m ordering a salad.
***
By Ash, Deadite Hunter
Michelangelo: Please. The slang. Let's just stop, all right?
Raphael: I shall sit down and watch Sleepless in Seattle until I calm down.
Leonardo: Forget this strategy crap. Let's just blow the heck out of 'em, okay?
Donatello: Guess what? I just realized this... I'm a geek!
Shredder: (deep, raspy breaths) Leonardo...I am your father.
***
Added 08-13-03
***
By Miz Zag
Michelangelo: Goody! We get to eat brussel sprouts!
Rapheal: Luckily for you, I kiss on the first date!
Donatello: Uh. . . what?
Leonardo: I'm scared! Hold me Raph!
April: Hey, Don/Mike/Leo/Raph! Wanna go steady?
Shredder: That's okay. You did your best. We'll get them next time.
Splinter: Bob the Biscuit! Can we eat him? Bob the Biscuit! Yes we can!
Shredder: I love you! You love me! We're one happy family!
Michelangelo: How ya doin' Shredder? Okay, I hope?
Rapheal: Maybe you're right, Master Splinter. I shouldn't drive the motorcyle.
Random Citizen: Turtles! Come back! You aren't freaks! You're just stupid!
Shredder: I wuv you!
Venus: I'm a mutant hottie!
Donatello: *holds up remote* What the hell is this thing?
Splinter: *waving to humans in broad daylight* Hey everybody!
Donatello: What does the button marked "Self-Destruct" do?
Shredder: Make love not war!
Leonardo: What's the plan Raph?
Michelangelo: Comic books are bad for your brain.
Rapheal: Why take the cool looking vehicle? We need the excerise.
Donatello: How do you spell "cat"?
Leonardo: I wuv you!
April: Shredder's lookin' pretty hot!
Rapheal: Shredder's lookin' pretty hot!
Michelangelo: The best book I've read? It's a toss up between "War and Peace" and "Crime and Punishment."
Splinter: The colors dude! The colors!
Casey: Why the heck am I holding a golf club?
Leonardo: Who wants to be a ninja? Now weatherman! That's the life for me!
Shredder: She is the one named Sailor Moon!
Donatello: Pass me that comic book, Mikey! I can't get enough of 'em!
Leonardo: Oops! I did it again! I made you believe we're more than just friends!
Splinter: Oh, baby, baby!
***
Added 10-15-03
***
By CJJ
Raphael: (to Leo) It’s gonna be bombastic love, so fantastic, when I’m completely yours and you are mine!
Leonardo: (to Raph) You know it’s gonna be exactly like in our three movies, when we fall in love, for the first time!
HT: What’s that you say, CJJ? You’ve got some male-on-male fiction for me to read? Oh, goody!
Cyborg Don: I think I just blew a gasket.
GreenWillow: War is the answer! All hail President Bush!
Splinter: (smiling evilly) Oh April, I have a proposition for you…
Krang: Shredder, can we keep your mom around? She fascinates me…
Michelangelo: (to girl at bar) Sorry, I’m just not into that, ya know? I’m more about cuddling.
Raphael: (to Leo) You know, bro, I can already tell that this strategy of yours is gonna lead us straight inta victory!
Kali Gargoyle: You know Raph, I’ve never been attracted to you. It’s just your personality that’s so…intriguing…
***
Added 08-11-04
***
By Jeff Hamilton
April O'Neil: Hey, Shredder. I've been thinking about you. Want to go out with me Friday night?
Casey Jones: You know, Lotus, I think I've fallen in love with you.
Shredder: Krang, Are you going to ask April out tonight?
Casey Jones: Lotus, I've been thinking. Maybe we could go steady and get married one day.
***
By SMIRTHWAIT
Dragon Lord: Wick, I just wanna say that I am sorry for being a bitch to you
***
Added 12-17-04
By Lola Rose
Raphael: Oooooh! Look at the baby bunny!
Michelangelo: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.
Donatello: Uhhh... what does the button marked "Blow up the Battle Shell" do?
Leonardo: Who else thinks that Shredder is just a poor, sad man who needs a hug?
Shredder: I've been cheated; been mistreated; when will I be loved? (I was listening to Linda Ronstadt when I made these up.)
Splinter: My Master Yoshi's first rule was: NEVER pay full price for late pizza!
April: Baxter Stockman, are you free tonight?
Casey: Patty-cake, patty-cake...
Venus: Hey, Michelangelo, wanna go out Friday night?
***
By Monkeyzilla
Donatello: 4 time 4 is, uh.......... 985!
Bebop: E equals M C squared.
Shredder: I love you!!!
***
Added 05-27-05
By Jeff Hamilton
Raphael: Excuse me, but you're trespassing in our sewer home.
Raphael: Which is?
Casey Jones: Hey, Karai. What do say you and I go steady?
Casey Jones: Sure, it will. I'm a crazy hockey player. You're a hard-hitting ninja. We'd be perfect together.
Casey Jones: Well, then can I just kiss you?
Raphael: You know something? You're very beautiful, April.
Casey Jones: Say, Karai, what do you say I take you back to the Turtles' lair and we can grab a pizza?
Shredder: This is the last time I wear my blades while watching a movie. They just get in the way.
The only editing done was for the sake of spelling/spacing.
***
WARNING! Below this point are entries might not be appropriate for all audiences. So if you aren't old or mature enough, click the above link before it's too late!
08-13-03: By Skeletoncrew
April to Bebop: You know, you're kinda cute. Are you busy Friday night?
Splinter *sighing*: Over four feet of tail attached to my ass, yet I'll never get any.
Leonardo: Oh man, I could really go for a cold one and a blow job right about now!
Shredder: Relaxation Day Spa? Yes, I'd like to schedule an appointment for a facial peel, mud bath, manicure, and pedicure.
Hun: Does this color make me look fat?
April: I'm sorry Casey, but I'm just not into men, if you know what I mean.
Raphael: Splinter, I'vd decided to abandon this life of violence and join the Hari Krishnas.
Donatello: I've been experiencing recovered memories of Satanic Ritual Abuse at Splinter's hands!
Krang: I've come to the realization that conquering the world is impossible. What do you say we load the Technodrome up with beer, sandwiches, hot wings, and travel the world? You know, spend some time in the islands catching some rays, maybe pick up some girls, go see the Eiffel Tower. Stuff like that.
Splinter *Belches loudly*: Pass me another beer Leo.
Michaelangelo to street corner prostitute: How much for a handjob and a spanking? Ooooh! And can I call you Shredder while you do it?
Rocksteady: I'm so embarassed, my deodorant seems to have broken down!
Splinter: That’s so sweet! Give me a hug Skai! *Both run into each others arms and start crying*
Rapheal: I wuv you too!
April: I wuv you too!
Shredder: I would, but I'm supposed to help out at a cookout that night.
Lotus: Really? It's too bad I've never noticed.
Krang: ME? I thought YOU were.
Lotus: I'd like to, Casey, but I've already got a crush on April. Sorry.
Wick: Really?
Dragon Lord: Yeah, I am.
*hug each other and cry hysterically*
Baxter Stockman: No, I have a flower-arranging class with Mommy.
Karai: You guys actually live here? How interesting. I'd love to stay and chat, but I have some thing else to do right now.
Karai: What else? Go grab a pizza!
Karai: It wouldn't work.
Karai: Like I said, it will not work. I already have other plans.
Karai: You can, but you might regret it.
Casey Jones: Why do they ALWAYS want to do it the HARD way?
April O'Neil: Well, thank you, Rapheal. You're beautiful, too.
Karai: Sure, but make sure the pizza's hot. I cannot stand cold pizza.
Krang: You can always take them off, you know.