aka - My Belly dunlopped over my belt....
The following diet has been
circulated at one of the local clinics. Some may find it stimulating.
BREAKFAST:
---------
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz skim milk
LUNCH:
------
4 oz lean Broiled
chicken breast
1 cup steamed zucchini
1 Oreo Cookie
Herb tea
MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:
-------
Rest of package of Oreos
1 qt. rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge
DINNER:
-------
2 loaves garlic bread
Large pepperoni & mushroom
pizza
Large pitcher beer (any
brand - it all comes from the same horse, anyway)
3 Milky Way bars
Entire Sara Lee cheesecake
- direct from freezer.
DIET
TIPS
1.If no one
sees you eat it --- it has no calories.
2.If you drink
a diet soda with a candy bar they cancel each other out.
3.When eating
with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.
4.Food used
for medicinal purposes NEVER counts such as: Hot Chocolate,
Brandy, Toast and Sarah Lee cheesecake.
5.If YOU fatten
up EVERYONE ELSE around you--then YOU look thinner.
6.Movie related
foods don't count because they are simply part of the
entire entertainment experience and not part of one's
personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, popcorn with extra butter, and Junior
Mints.
Some people have found that
eating very slowly is an excellent dieting technique.
By making
breakfast last twenty four hours you miss lunch and dinner.
Keep track of absolutely
everything you can think of using charts and graphs.
If you run out of
things to track, make something up. This will surely take up all of
your time and you'll have
no time
left to eat and gain weight.
Scientists have proven that
shivering burns calories very fast. So, try sleeping in your freezer.
Have the rest of your family
and relatives diet with you.
Remember: A family that
diets together will
all lose their minds.
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